Author Notes
My thanks to Sunset_Shimmer83 for commissioning this piece!
This story stems from the last short I wrote for Paul's Friendship Collection (at the time of writing), which saw the end results of Aria defending Sonata against Lightning Dust. Sunset_Shimmer83, apparently a big fan of catfights, was not satisfied with seeing just the ending of that battle, and thus offered a commission to write a proper fight between them. My first question was "but why are they fighting?" Sunset_Shimmer83's response was, in not so many words, "I don't know, just repeat the reason in the short?"
That wasn't good enough for me. It was clear Sunset_Shimmer83 wanted a proper no-hold-barred brawl between these two. But I have zero interest in writing a fight dump. If Aria and Lightning were going to give their all, they needed a lot more reason to do it than "stop picking on my sister!" Protip: if you want two characters to give their all in anything, you need to give them something to lose. It was in thinking about the hows and whys that I came to envision what this story is. It held my fascination enough to make me decide this was something I wanted to see happen, so I accepted the commission.
Does this mean I'm open for commissions now? I suppose so, but I have my limits. I was willing to take on this one because A) it interested me, and B) there was no wordcount limit, so I could make it what I wanted it to be. I also set a price cap; if I wrote beyond a certain number of words, the charge wouldn't keep going up. That way Sunset_Shimmer83 would get their story, I wouldn't break their wallet by making the story more than what they asked for, and I could have the story live up to my own standards. I was willing to do all of this because, again, I enjoyed what I was doing with this one. If I'd accepted a commission for something I wasn't interested in, there's no way I would have the price cap.
Which leads me to the point of all of this: yes, I am willing to take commissions now, but I'll be very picky about what commissions I accept. If the subject matter doesn't interest me, I'll probably pass. I write because I like writing, not because it's a job, and I don't intend to make it into one.
Random Story Facts!
WARNING: Here There Be Spoilers
- The "Morrissey" mentioned in the argument between Aria and Adagio is John Morrissey (1831 - 1878), an Irish American politician and boxer of New York who was also known for owning gambling houses and racetracks.
- I seriously considered having the last thing Aria said to Snips before she left being something along the lines of "By the way, Sonata likes when guys check out her butt." It would have been a moment of dubious honesty for humor's sake, but I decided it just didn't fit with the scene.
- Sonata working as a bartender is a tiny nod to I-A-M's SciTwiXSonata romance Rules of Hospitality, which heavily featured Sonata as a bartender at a strip club (click here for my review of it). Sadly, I-A-M abandoned the site and deleted all of his works, so we're stuck with FIMFetch for the series.
- Because I expect the question to be asked: The idea with the mind control was that Lightning figured out that she can brainwash people with the siren stone, but didn't know the finer points of that power. So while she managed to put Gilda and her stepfather under her spell, she was unaware that this rendered them susceptible to commands from anyone, not just her. There's also the possibility that her not being a siren means she can't wield the stone with the same finesse as a proper siren would.
- Although he is never expressly named, Lightning's stepfather is Wind Rider. I originally did name him, but decided to do away with the name as a narrative-based indicator of Lightning's negative feelings towards him. His identity was never meant to be a secret though.
- Since this is one of those things I'm sure readers will ask about: The idea behind the siren stones is that the intense negativity Lightning has towards her situation and her stepfather was so strong that it empowered the shards and allowed the stone to repair itself. The lingering intensity of this negativity was also enough to repair the other two once Lightning unintentionally released enough of it from Sonata's. I am aware that this is very questionable and hand-wavy but I felt it fit with the overall manner of the story.
- When I first wrote that Adagio works at a bank, it was just a throw-in because I couldn't think of anything at the given time. I left it in because why not a bank? True, I could have had her in the music industry as a producer or something, but I wanted something that would make their financial situation make more sense. And hey, when you've been around for centuries it pays to wear many hats. My original thought was that she'd be a bank teller – indicating she's new to the job and only grabbed it because she needed any job. Thinking on it though, it's entirely possible she's more of a bank manager or something else higher up the totem pole. That would make more sense with the "six days a week" line, but might not fit with where the sirens are at financially for this story. Plus: When you still look like a teenager, how do you make your resume of three decades of experience (or whatever) not look like a blatant lie?
- Adagio's room being less decorated and her closet lacking clothes is intended to hint that she's been secretly selling her more expensive possessions to help pay some of the sirens' bills, sacrificing so that her sibling don't have to.
- While I wasn't consciously aware I was doing it, I ended up making this version of Adagio into "mamadagio". I am not at all opposed to this. Seriously, look up the tag on derpibooru for some cute pics.
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This was fantastic. Easily one of the best action fics I’ve ever read on the site. That fight scene alone was among the fight scenes I’ve seen in writing, fanfic or otherwise.
I genuinely don’t understand why your recent fics aren’t taking off, because they are amazing.
The Conflict has earned its place into my Best of Adventure shelf, because hot damn, that was some awesome action.
11929940
Glad to hear it! I was very happy with how this one turned out, so the complete lack of attention it garnered was a bit of a letdown.
11929625
I made several small changes since the first time you read it. This is one of those stories I keep wanting to come back to and make little edits. I'm really glad you commissioned it, this as a fun one!
11929993
The lack of reception is baffling, honestly. You’re very popular here on FimFic (what with nearly 2k followers), and even if you weren’t, this story in particular is really good. Dunno what’s happening here. But I’ve decided to be optimistic and say that the fic is simply having a slow start.
Oh, congrats on your new status as Site Blogger!
11930002
Best guess on my part? It's a fight between two popular characters and it has the death tag. Perhaps this leads to some suspicions regarding the nature of the story. Despite the Teen rating, people might be expecting something worse, and I know from experience that there are a lot of people who won't read "dark" stories by default.
Damn! I hope one day to be able to write fight scenes as detailed and captivating as you did in this story.
Is there any interesting backstory to that piece of revelation that Sonata was the one who created the stones?
11930097
Glad you enjoyed it! I was going for something cinematic and thought it came out pretty good overall, but one can never be sure.
None I had specifically planned. One of the things I like to do in my writing is seed concepts with lots of potential implications. I may never write a story based on it, but now the idea that Sonata made the stones exists and maybe someone out there will see that, get inspired, and make something good out of it. If that happens, I will be satisfied.
Great story, though ironically the big fight scene was the part I found least interesting: just a lot of beat by beat description of physical actions that feels like it would rather be film choreography than prose. But I loved all the characters and their motivations, and am mildly proud of myself for having recognized both Gilda and Wind Rider before they were named.
11935725
A pity, I was rather proud of how the actual fight turned out. No matter, you enjoyed the rest and I'll take that as the win it is!
11935735
By all means, be proud. I find that big fight scenes are very difficult. I've written just a few, and I had to pour my heart and soul into it to make them work. I usually try to avoid them really.
Glad I finally got to this one. Fantastic work in establishing the context for both fighters, including some subtler bits about each from the other's perspective. The implicit details like Adagio selling off her stuff or the entire rise and fall of Wind Rider one can read from Lightning's chapter make the whole world feel richer. The fight itself was outstandingly choreographed; Lightning has spunk and desperation, but Aria has an overwhelming experience advantage.
Of course, there is the question of what the sirens will do now that their gems have been reforged in the pyre of Lightning's old life... and whether Gilda's going to come calling for that interest. Still, thank you for a great read.
11935834
Glad to see someone address the material before the fight! What interested me more than the conflict itself was the justification behind it happening in the first place. So as happy as I am with the fight, it was those first two chapter that made me willing to accept this commission.
I considered answering some of the lingering questions this fic leaves behind, but ultimately decided they didn't need answering. At least not for this fic. Maybe if I ever did some kind of continuation, though at the moment I have zero interest in doing so.
Great story. Very atmospheric in detail, and the cover art definitely helps set the tone really well. Lot of layered characterization here in both Aria and Lightning Dust. The latter being not just a one-dimensional bad, just a tough but troubled girl stuck in a bad situation and wanting out. Same with Aria being rough around the edges but still caring about her sisters. I didn't catch it until afterwards but you mentioned on the story description that the first two chapters could be read in any order. I read them in order posted but I wonder how differently I would have felt about the setup before the fight if I had read Lightning's chapter first. Regardless, part of the fun was still there from putting together the whole picture from two points of view.
The fight scene was awesome. Not perfect because it still felt like there was some kind of step-by-step pause in it interrupting the flow, but it still fit together really well and was really thematic with the two of them wailing on each other in the rain with all they had. I felt that.
The resolution was good. Kind of not what I'd expect to see from Aria in a story but yet not entirely out of the realm of possibility given her characterization here. And it was a pretty feel-good conclusion.
Overall a really great read.
Idk, I guess to me it was pretty danged easy to guess who he was from the first line of reference. Maybe because he's already been established as a canon deadbeat character whose circle of interests overlaps with Lightning Dust's (Wonderbolts/racing).
Maybe a little hand-wavey? But I got the gist of it overall without it having to be explained so I figure it works well enough to fit.
11972182
Glad to see you finally got to this one, and that you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing it, to be sure. Also good to get some review of the first two chapters, since so much effort was put into them.