I can never truly enjoy great stories like these because I get stuck on plot and not the plot. I'm more concerned about how magical brainwashing works than the actual fun part after it does work. I personally think can listening is more realistic than using magic. The attempt to change someone's whole personality permanently forever. And definitely if they are a strong magic user

This is good.

I've been looking forward to a sequel to the original story for a long time. So happy to see the series continue.

My only criticism is that I feel that there is too much cutting between characters and scenes. One of my favourite aspects of the original is that we really got to marinate in Cadence's slow descend into mind control and experience it build up into a crescendo.

We only get to see very brief glimpses of Starlight's, Rainbow's and Rarity's mind control before it cuts away. The author should taken their time a bit more.

I absolutely love what is written here but I feel that it misses out on what made the original story so great.

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You'd be surprised how much worldbuilding gets discussed in the background that doesn't make its way into the commission because it wouldn't fit. But yes, the premise is fundamentally one meant to allow for clop to happen. For what it's worth, all this is happening with the support of another powerful magic user, and FiM itself has multiple instances of magical hypnosis being shown to exist.
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This is mostly Twilight's story first and foremost, and I still had to write it within the constraints of what the commissioner was fine with being the upper limit of wordcount and consequently money spent on it. I hope the end result is still good despite the admittedly more rushed approach to the ponies other than Twilight. Although, to be fair, the fic this is a sequel to is itself quite bloated and may have been better had it been shorter. The climax chapter is the longest and wholly focused on Twilight, hopefully that one will make up for the rest.

Why isn’t there any sex sections?