• Member Since 5th Dec, 2011
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Twilight awakens alone in a strange and forbidding labyrinth of abandoned halls and forlorn chambers with no memories of how she came to be there. All she has to go on in the dark are a few scattered memories, her intuition, and her Princess's vague warning.

Watch for Luna.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 38 )

That was wonderful and surprisingly dark...
I feel two emotions....:pinkiehappy:and:pinkiesad2:

1402144 I'm glad you liked it! More than you know... I've kind of worried about this story, honestly.

A dark Twilight and Luna story that is all tumbs ups... *Clicks read later to add onto my already 34 story list*

1402216 I feel that feel that you feel.

1402216 34? This one is literally number 121 on mine.

Aw, no Corridor Story? :fluttercry:

1402371 I'm still seriously considering it.

Hey! Can't edit it without putting it through moderation apparently. Drat. Let me just put this here:

Go check
Artist credits: http://braukoly.deviantart.com/gallery/30555206?offset=24#/d3hv88m

She/he's got some pretty cool backgrounds like this one. Great desktops! Go check them out.

Hi! Liked and Favourited! 'Twas a well crafted tale.

1402471 Say thankya! :D

You've recieved a new Watcher. You can set your watch and warrent by it.

Dark but not too dark. I enjoyed it!

Twilight will do anything for her friends. Even facing the horrors of Luna's mind.

1402547 You can set your watch and warrant on it. Rainbow may be the one who lives for loyalty, but Twilight's not far off.

I'm surprised... I thought it was rather dark! Not violent, though. It is rather not violent. Which is weird for me... who once wrote sword fights into everything.


Dark for me is very subjective. I read and enjoy Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons, which is grimdark. I read stories set in the Warhammer 40K universe as well.

Dark tone and setting can do a lot. But dark things have to happen to characters I care about to see it as very dark.

1402843 Hm. I can see that, I guess. Grimdark is a rather subjective category in some ways.


I really liked this story. The way I would describe It is: The night is always darkest just before the dawn.

At no point in the story did the situation feel hopeless to me.

Does that make sense?

Wonderful story...now do me a favor and stop making me not want to sleep :pinkiesmile: justm essing with you obviously i hope you keep the awesome going :twilightsmile:

1404415 haha. I'll try!

If it helps, shipping is what's next on my plate.

1404420 Then i wish you luck... out of curousity becuse oy uhave a way with words (i dotn care for most shiping for that reason they cant word it right) whos the coupling! :twilightsheepish:

I enjoy short dark stories like this one. Favourited. :twilightsmile:

1540189 Thankya sai. :pinkiehappy:

I try (with varying success) to approximate Lovecraft. He's one of the greatest masters.

1542737 I'm sure he is, although I haven't read anything from hm (yet). Regarding Lovecraft, I've also found this story on this site: Sch'Ma'Utz Unfortunately it seems to be abandoned.

Beautiful Lovecraft elements here. I'm glad the ending wasn't too dark, as most of his stories are. I like my ponies safe and sound. xP

I'm uncertain as to my opinion of the diction you used. Loevecraft utilizes an eloquent vocabulary, which I like, but I also feel that such a diction is not particularly fitting for ponies. Then again, this is Twilight's viewpoint, and that level of vocabulary would be accessible to her.

The pacing was well done, and the mystery was interesting to explore, if a tad predictable. But that's better than a twist that comes out of nowhere and doesn't even make sense.

At any rate, this was greatly enjoyed, and will certainly contribute toward tonight's insomnia. Liked and favourited.

2129635 Had I told it more directly from her point of view, I would have definitely upped the level of diction here. Not TOO much as to go overboard, but a little.

heh heh I had forgotten the passage about the Luna

Glad you liked it!

I must say...this fic screams Lovecraft and I adore every word of it. :pinkiehappy: Lovecraft is one of my favorite authors so reading a fic with elements that remind me of his stuff makes me a very happy human of Pinkie standards. The pacing was quite good, I found myself getting more and more into it as it went.

All in all, dark little story with a suprisingly light ending. I approve and add to my favorites list!

2151503 Glad you liked it!

An excellently dark fic! The madness... she is inspired by the Loony Luna tumblr, am I correct?

2156020 I'm so glad someone caught that

Yes! It is very much so.

Is there any relationship between False Luna and Nightmare Moon?

2486440 Yes. False Luna was meant to be sort of the residual aftereffects of the whole Nightmare Moon thing.

Can you please elaborate?

Finally, I get around to this older one. A bit slow at first, but in the end, the Prince of Darkfic must note his approval.

As a filly, she’d feared the dark as much as any child, but her most secret fear had been blindness.

There's an extra space between "as" and "any." Delete it.

Shadowed cracks worked their way up the cyclopean and towering structures, and Twilight felt so very small.

Ah, haven't seen that used as an adjective since Lovecraft, though it is an actual style of ancient archetecture. Fitting, perhaps, though as far as Lovecraft's alien structures go I preferred the massive, featureless basalt towers in "The Shadow Out of Time."

But I digress, the Lovecraft comparisons have been made already. I myself noticed a similarity to Amnesia: The Dark Descent... which reminds me that I once wanted to work on a similar fic, though with Sombra (pre-evil king phase) as the protagonist... ah, the fear of being alone in an unfamiliar and dark place with no idea of what's going on is quite a good one to read, and I'm pleased at how this one turned out.

At one point I feared that the Pegasus skeleton was Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy, and that Twilight would meet an even more horrific fate... perhaps even discovering that the "wrong Luna" had been hunting her night after night, each time erasing her memories so her terror and confusion would be fresh each time... it's nice to know that even in a dark fic, there can still be a happy ending. Though, with it being part of a mental landscape, there's no point in pondering the significance of the skeleton any more, who it might have been and how they met their fate...

The resting place of the exile and the harshest of mistresses.

Also, was that a Heinlein reference? XD

This reminds me of this bizarre blog filled with nothing but eerie Luna pictures.

Lunactic Luna, I think?

That was my main inspiration

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