• Member Since 6th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 26th, 2018

TheTwerp


T

Blessed be the Elements of Harmony, for they aided her. Blessed be the regents of the sun and moon, for they taught her. Blessed be her enemies, for they hardened her. Blessed be the Empress, for she saved us all from what had always been certain. - Prayer of Thanks to the Holy Maiden

Twilight Sparkle built this empire, saved us all from what was certain and final...
...Will she now cast us out?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 31 )

New Story! Just an idea I've been playing with and I wanted to test out.

Not to sure how regular I'm going to be able to produce this but I will try and keep it going at a steady pace if I can.

If you like please click the like button and leave a comment. :twilightsmile:

I've heard that song before but the name escapes me. Please be a sir and tell me the name.

I like what you've done so far. No real plot yet, but that's because it's only the prologue, I suppose. The spacing and formatting did quite a bit in catching my attention. It also helps set the dark atmosphere.

On a side note, that's one sexy cover art. Mind telling me where it's from?

An intreging beginning. It's far too soon to form a solid opinion, but I'll be watching.:moustache:

1398228

It's "What do you do with a drunken sailor."

First thing that caught my attention was the cover. I'm sure a few other people will remember it's last usage.

On to the story, I can't really judge this early. Writing seems fine, if not quite perfect. What you can do is clean up the punctuation a bit; you're missing commas and some current usages of commas would be better changed to periods for emphasis of a phrase. I also noticed one instance of "your" being used in place of "you're".

1398228

It's a variation of "Drunken Sailor".

That picture drew me in.

Shows how much a worthy cover goes. Very good.

Your use of onomatopoeia and vocal expressions in character speech is off-putting; and you don't have paragraphs :l
Also, too much telling, not enough showing >:v

:twilightsmile: "Please sir may I have some more?" :twilightsheepish: Good so far and i particulylike this style for character based stories what seems like this is gonna be like I hope you get more out soon! :twilightsmile:

For some reason as soon as the music started I was reading this with a sadistic grin plastered to my face.:pinkiecrazy:

Interesting and slightly mindscrewy start.

I definitely would love more of this. This chapter left too much of a cliffhanger (if it counts as a cliffhanger) for me to resist wanting more.:twilightsmile:

This story intrigued me so much I created an account to get updates.
I beg you. DO NOT let this story grow stale and stagnate. It's got so much potential.

~ Skeeter

MOAR for the love of god MOAR :flutterrage:

No update this week - sorry

Playing Dishonored and XCOM so no time for anything else :twilightblush:

That is interesting. It's started with enough vagueness that I am intrigued, while with enough information for me to have at least some idea of what's going on. Also, I just like this sort of stuff.

I can't wait to see where this goes. My guess is she's gonna be suffering from some amnesiac dissonance. A suddenly good Twilight in the middle of an evil Twilights empire. Then again, that's just my two bits. I'll definitely be following all the same.

1432053
WHEN? WHEN? I cant take it anymore! Dear god when will it update? :raritydespair:

1567665 Sorry been busy with work stuff, update hopefully sometime this week :)

Well made any progress? Im still waiting :pinkiehappy:

Interesting, you have my attention sir.

I was not expecting him to cry...

1409918 You forgot 'The' and 'Lurker'. :unsuresweetie:

2865194

This was one of the first stories I ever commented on.

I was still entering into my persona on the site.

...

How did you even find this story anyway? It's been forever since it updated.

~Skeeter The Lurker

2865241 I searched 'Holy blessed savior, cast this empire out into darkness!'

Just found this and the first chapter was pretty interesting. :twilightsmile: Any chance of this being continued?

3312210 I am having extreme difficulty summoning the will to continue this... :pinkiesad2:

I have written over ten different drafts and ideas on how to progress with it and each on just comes up as boring or pretentious. That and I am wrting a few one-shots that are taking up a lot of my time. Maybe when they are done I'll try this again. :twilightsmile:

I think that twilight will have a rough time trying to figure this out. :facehoof: Oh, boy..... :facehoof: Think Twilight, Think.... :facehoof:

Please coninute this, i love this story.:heart: :twilightsmile:

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