• Published 5th Oct 2012
  • 9,757 Views, 187 Comments

Three Is Not Better Than One - That Drunk Pony

Is it a love triangle, square, or whatever it means to have 3 like the same drake?

  • ...

Chapter 1

Three is not better than two

By: That Drunk Pony

It was a glorious morning in Ponyville. All the ponies were slowly getting up as the sun began its rise over the horizon. The start of a brand new day. The sun shone inside of each and every home to welcome everypony to a new start. The sunlight however had no effect on one pony who had been staying up late almost every night for the past few weeks reading an endless amount of books. She also pulled an all nighter the past night and now can't even be awoken by a shout of the Royal Canterlot voice.

Spike, however, didn't have the same luxury as Twilight and had to wake up early to clean all the messes that Twilight had generated. It seems like the only time she ever cleans is when Celestia or her friends come to visit. Truly a lazy pony, but I suppose messes are signs of genius. Anyhow Spike had started the chores of cleaning and reorganizing.

When Spike had finished the room just shined. Everything looked perfect, that was until a loud yell that said, "LOOK OUT!!!" followed by a cyan pegasus that came through the window. Luckily the window was open so the glass was not shattered, nevertheless the library was an even bigger mess than Spike had started. Most of the books were now on the floor and the couch was flipped over hiding a certain cyan pegasus.

Spike had his mouth to the floor in shock. All of his hard work was instantly undone and worse than before. Eyes full of rage he looked toward the flipped over couch, not even caring about the safety of the cyan pegasus that flew through. He lifted off the couch and saw that it was Rainbow Dash, unconscious and unmoving, who had messed up the library. He suspected it was her considering she has a knack for running into the library, it often makes him wonder if she intentionally runs into the library.

Spike then spoke softly to the pegasus as she laid their, "Hey, Rainbow Dash. Wakey wakey. It's time to get up now."

Rainbow Dash, who was still on the ground replied, "Nooo, give me five more minutes."

Spike then picked up a bucket and got a spoon. He softly placed it over Rainbow's head and starting banging on it as hard as he could saying, "WAKE UP" over and over.

The alarming noise instantly shocked Rainbow that she was flying around not knowing what was going on as Spike held on the bucket handle riding the pegasus. He eventually fell off after a few spins around the library and was dizzy. The pegasus now with eyes of fire, glared at the dragon in a heat of blazing fury. As she charged at Spike to tackle him to the floor, but since Spike was now older and more agile, just missed Spike and crashed into a bookshelf.

Spike was now on the ground laughing like crazy, until Rainbow had put the bucket on his head and started smashing it with the spoon. Spike nearly got a heart attack from that. They both glared at each other, but then started to smile and laugh at the whole situation.

After the laughing had subsided, Spike then got into a more serious tone and began to question Rainbow, "So Rainbow, what brings you to crash in my humble abode?"

Rainbow then remembered what happened, "Well I was doing this new trick and it went well. So well in fact that I came here to show you, but I tried doing it again and instead ran into the library... again."

Spike had a smirk on his face, but tried to hide it and continue, "Well you know I just fixed this place up and now look at it."

Rainbow looked around and saw the destruction of so many books. It was a mass murder of so many books, some might even say it was a genocide of literacy. She then turned her head at spike, ears down and ready to be scolded. As Spike was about to speak, however, Twilight came down the stairs only to see the destruction.

"SPIKE!" she yelled, not knowing of what happened, "You are supposed to clean and take care of the books! I told you the floor was not a bookshelf."

"But Twi-" Spike started, but was cut off.

"Spike. I wasn't finished yet. I mean look at this mess. All the books are on the floor." Twilight said, but then noticed the bucket on the floor how it looked like it was beaten and trampled mercilessly. "Spike. What happened to the bucket!? It looked as if it was run over by a stampede."

Before Spike could give his, anger filled, reply to Twilight, he was stopped by Rainbow. "Sorry Twilight. It wasn't Spike's fault, but my own. I crashed into the library and messed up the library that Spike cleaned." Spike then smiled at the pegasus until she continued. "The bucket thing however was totally on Spike. He beat it with a spoon to wake me up." She said as she pointed to Spike.

"That was your fault. I tried to peacefully wake you up. Besides, you were the one who beat it the second time much harder than I did." Spike said, trying to save himself.

Rainbow and Spike went back and forth with the blame until Twilight had magically levitated both of them. Her eyes said they were both in trouble. Spike and Rainbow both gulped at the punishment that was going to happen. "Spike and Rainbow, you both are gonna clean this mess and clean EVERY corner of this house." They both groaned at the idea and Twilight quickly reacted, "What was that!?"

They both looked down and replied, "Nothing, we will clean the place." They both started picking up books while Twilight nodded and went back upstairs. Spike then said, "You know this is all your fault right?" Rainbow gave a quick glare, and they both started working on opposite sides of the library.

As they were putting away the books, Rainbow was getting bored and tried to start a conversation, "You know Spike. I haven't seen Twilight this mad in a long time."

Spike then replied, "Well you know she is very serious about books. I wonder if she would save a book or me if she had to choose."

Rainbow then turned to Spike, "Don't even joke about that. You know that she cares about you more than anything. You both are very close to each other."

Spike was a little taken back by this, "Sorry. I know Twilight cares a lot for me. She would protect me from anything. Even though now I am bigger, stronger, and more mature than before she still treats me like a child."

Rainbow looks at Spike for the first time and really does notice he was much stronger, and more well toned, more muscular and ... she was drooling, until Spike said, "Rainbow you alright?"

She snapped back into her normal self, "Yeah yeah I'm alright" she said as she hastily put more books up so Spike couldn't see the blush on her face. She thought to herself 'What am I thinking? Why was I staring so much at Spike's body so much' She shook her head to get rid of any after thoughts.

Spike remembered he needed to go to Applejack's home to help around the barn, but was stuck here. He then noticed that Rainbow seemed a bit distracted and tried a clever way to get out of doing extra chores. "Hey Rainbow, are you sure your alright?"

She replied again, "Yeah"

Spike then asked one more time, "Are you sure?" As Spike creeped towards the door

She then said, "Yeah"

Spike then changed the question, "Will you finish the work?" Spike was now opening the door.

She said, "Yeah... wait."

But before she could turn to look, Spike was already out the door and flying away to Applejack's barn. All Spike could here in the background was, "SPIKE I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!" He just laughed the whole way to Applejacks barn.

Spike then began his descent to the barn, when he saw Applejack was already taking out the baskets where the apples would fall in. He then began sneaking slowly to Applejack until he was right behind her. "Good morning Applejack" Spike said in her ear, which caused her to jump and toss all the baskets as she bucked at Spike. Spike was now on the ground grabbing his stomach in pain.

Applejack then turned and saw Spike on the ground and her face was full of worry. "Spike! Are you okay?" she said as she held his head.

Spike only smiled and said, "Worth it" before passing out right there. Applejack just dropped his head and let it hit the ground. Spike then got up and said, "Oh come on. That was good acting."

Applejack then just stared down Spike, "Look are ya here to help or not. Today we are gonna be very busy and I cant have any distractions today."

Spike then replied, "Sorry, I won't make anymore dumb jokes. So whatcha need me to do today?"

"Well, since you have wings and all can you place these baskets around the area so we can start harvesting. You would probably cover more distance faster with those wings and all the training you do with Rainbow." Applejack had said while leaving a large amount of baskets in Spike's arms.

"Alright, I will be back in a jiffy." Spike hurried off placing 3 baskets around each tree. After he finished his stack he returned to the barn to get more and dropped them off. He was going really fast. Back and forth the earth pony watched Spike. She was gazing at him at his amazing speed and his determination to get the job done. She hadn't realize how long she stared until Spike flew to her saying, "So what's next."

Applejack shook her head and regained her demeanor. "Huh? You done already?" Applejack questioned Spike as he nodded. "Hmm well I don't suppose you want to try bucking today? This will be your first time and I suppose you cant really buck, but I am sure with your strength you can do it."

"Sure I can." Spike said as he cracked his knuckles. "I can probably do it faster than you." Spike challenged the earth pony.

Applejack just started laughing. "Yeah right. The day you beat me at applebucking is the day where Twilight will give up reading. You don't know the proper technique or where to even strike the--" but she was cut off by Spike as he quickly rushed past her as he struck three trees back to back dropping all of the apples from them into the baskets with one strike each.

Spike then asked, "Are you so sure I can't beat you?"

Applejack just sat there in a bit of amazement, but she then played it off "Well that was a bit impressive, but you aren't better than me."

Spike then provoked the orange pony "Well then how about you accept my challenge or are you chicken?"

Applejack never backed down from a challenge. She was gonna put that dragon in his place. "Alright Spike, you're on, but lets make it a bit more interesting. If you loose you will do me any favor I want for the rest of today."

Spike's confidence went down a little. "What do I get if I win?"

Applejack pondered for a second then she got an idea. "Well if you win then you can get a gallon of our Apple family's Special cider."

Spike's eyes then flared as he loved that cider nearly as much as Rainbow did. Well close enough to Rainbow at least. Spike then said with excitement and confidence, "Alright, lets get started."

Spike and Applejack stood at the barn entrance while Applejack's big brother was outside holding a flag. Applejack then restated the rules to Spike, "Alright so the rules are simple. The first to buck all of the trees and return back to the barn with all the apples wins. No cheatin and no outside help. We both have 50 trees each to cover. Are you ready Spike?"

Spike said while smiling, "I'm ready." He then thought to himself 'To wipe the floor with you.' "On your mark"

Applejack continued, "Get set"

They both then yelled, "GO!" and they both stormed off into the trees. Applejack was going faster than she ever did before. She hit one tree and then two. Soon she was already finished 15 trees and started taking the baskets back to the barn. When she returned the first set of baskets she looked over to Spike's side and saw that he didn't even come close to her progress. He doesn't even have a single basket inside the barn.

It was now 2 in the afternoon and Applejack was already at 40 trees finished. She saw or heard nothing from Spike's side. It made her a little worried, but she continued. As she finished the last tree, she then started bringing back the baskets back to the barn, but she dropped the basket. Spike was already inside sleeping with all of his baskets inside the barn. He awoke when he heard the apples fall.

"Oh hey there Applejack. Nice of you to join me. Did you just finish?" Spike said with a smile on his face that Applejack would have loved to buck off his face.

"H- ho- how did you beat me so fast? You weren't even close to me before." Applejack said still with her face in shock and disbelief.

"Well I just focused on getting the apples to the baskets at first until I finished all the trees. Then I quickly put the baskets here. Its much easier with claws to hold more." Spike explained.

Lyra and Bonbon walked by until Lyra watched in the distance, Spike as he was showing off his claws to Applejack. It made her jealous and she questioned Bonbon, "See he gets fingers, why can't I get some."

Bonbon just looked at Lyra. She then put a hoof to her face while shaking her head and then continued walking. Lyra was confused by her reaction and followed behind saying, "Wait up."

Back to Applejack. She was shocked that she lost to Spike at something that she has been doing for years. She tried to deny his victory by saying "Beginner's luck. Anyways i'll go get your prize." Applejack angrily walked into the barn and came back with a small barrel full of the cider.

"Ooo I can just taste the cider already. This will also make a nice apology gift for a certain pony." Spike said as he grabbed it with one claw. He then petted Applejack, which caused her to blush. "Well AJ, its been fun, but i have to go to my next appointment. I will see ya later." He then flew off, but before he sped away, he turned and waved good-bye to Applejack.

Spike then Sped off to his next destination near Ghastly Gorge to meet Rainbow for their regular flight lessons. Spike was preparing for the wrath of Rainbow Dash after ditching her at the library, but it was her fault for ruining the library. Spike kept debating about what happened in his head until the moment of truth came.

Spike heard from a far distance that gradually came closer, "SPIIIIIKE!!!! YOU ARE SO DEAD." Spike thought to run, but decided against it as he had a secret weapon.

As Rainbow drew closer he finally said, "Rainbow Dash!" She stopped nearly one meter from him. She was still breathing hard and angrily she stared at the dragon. He then offered to her the barrel.

"What is this?" Rainbow asked still angry obviously.

"It is my peace offering. Some of the Apple family Special Cider." Spike said in a stance that most people would think he were proposing to the pegasus, but that didn't register in her mind for once she heard "Apple family" and "Cider". She was jumping around like crazy at that moment saying "YES."

If anypony was watching, they would have thought there would be a wedding soon. Luckily for them none were watching... from what they know.

Rainbow and Spike then opened the barrel and began sharing the drink. First Rainbow took a sip and then Spike. As Spike took a sip she was thinking 'an indirect kiss' and her face blushed but she shook it off and just drank as much as she could and gave the rest to Spike.

Spike said in a refreshed way, "There is nothing better than the Cider of the Apple family. They make the best in the world."

Rainbow continued, "Yeah. Well we should get started then. We have a lot of work today." She then bucked the dragon. "Also that is payback."

Spike fell over and glared back at rainbow who was giggling. 'Well it would probably have been worse if she was still angry.' Spike thought to himself as he got up and ready for the lesson.

After training with Dash the whole day they said their good-byes. Rainbow went to her home and Spike left for the library. When he got home it was already night and Twilight was passed out on a mountain of books. "Seriously why was she so upset when we messed up the place." He picked up Twilight and took her to her bed. He then went downstairs to clean as much of it as he could before heading to bed.

As he laid on the couch, he looked out the window and saw Canterlot. Before he went to bed he said "I wonder how Rarity is doing in Canterlot." He went to sleep with this thought.

-At Ponyville Train Station-

"It has been so long since I have been in Ponyville. I wonder how everypony is doing" a white unicorn with a beautifully done purple mane said to herself.