• Member Since 21st Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 2nd, 2020



Dark beings have started popping up in Equestria and nopony that sees them can understand what they are, will our keyblade wielder be able to save this world with the help of the elements of harmony?

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 127 )

seems interesting, I love KH and I love MLP, you got a loyal reader of me

“I wish you to send this information to the all guards and my sister so that they are aware of the situation but there have been no attacks on the populace as of yet so please make sure that the guards are the only ones who know.

Oi, kid. That right there needs to be changed. It completely disrupts the flow of the story. Separate it into 2 individual sentences.

As for the story itself, seems good. I'll add to fav's and give a thumbs up.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_lazy.png

Sweet never seen or thought about a kindom hearts story,Nice work and keep working magic my friend!:pinkiehappy:

This story needs major grammatical correction. For starters, each line of dialogue gets put on its own line.
"Even if it's not-"
"Yes, Fluttershy," Twilight interrupted. "Even if it's not a complete sentence."
"Oh. O-okay..."
Also, Donald's a little OOC. More pugnacious, less intelligible pls.

“A break? No, no, no Sora, I’m not going to fall for an excuse as simple as that.”

Stated like a true sir... Which Dolan is not.
"I'm not fawwing for that twick again, Sohwa! Waa-aaahblhblhblh!"(or however you spell his freakout noise)
(Unless you want to let readers imagine Donald's squawk themselves.)

I don't dislike this... yet. I suggest getting a proofreader to make your story easier to read.

1395835 I see what you mean and I did wonder about the speech but a lot of stories I've read haven't done that so I'm going to leave it how it is for now, however if more people make the same comment then I will change to that style of dialogue and as for the grammar I would have to agree, especially Donald's line that you mentioned, though in my defense, I did imagine him wagging his finger at Sora as he said it. Thank's for your comment though, if other things come up during the story them I'll be more than happy to accept critisms.

The question was posed by a bright pink unicorn with a dark pink mane, she was bouncing around the group when she asked.

...question was posed by a bright pink unicorn with a dark pink mane,...

...posed by a bright pink unicorn...

...bright pink unicorn...


Since when was Pinkie a unicorn?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png

1402121 Oh my god...What was I doing??

1402127 You were doing something that threatened the fabric of reality itself.

You know what this needs? Good spacing so I can understand the dialog easier. Other then that it's pretty good.

1402136 I might have to fire my proof reader for not picking that up or myself for writing it

1402436 Don't fire, just tell em' he's an ass. And THEN fire em'.

lolz lolz every where:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

"sara,soar, siri?:ajbemused::ajbemused::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:fail fails every where::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:MORE NOW

also donald is a fail:facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:

So, we see a bit of Keyblade magic. This raises a question. What magic does he have available to him. Is it just the simple Fire, Ice, Lightning, gravity. Or, does Sora have access to his more destructive abilities, like firaga, graviga, etc...

1419200 At the current moment in time, he has only got access to a few basic spells. I haven't yet decided if and how he will get the more powered versions.

great story please do more i love it:pinkiehappy:

Realy !? A cliff hanger:flutterrage::ajbemused: not cool but awesome job:pinkiehappy:the start was sooo funny:rainbowlaugh:

I really like this story, don't stop it, but i highly recommend putting some spacing into it. you must have wall-of-text syndrome :trixieshiftright:, so you need to get out of it quickly.

if i had seen it with a wall of text first, i would have skipped it over entirely.

otherwise, its great, i'll keep reading, and it gets a fave and a like. :twilightsmile:

Best cutie mark ever

I have a question. Is this KH1 Sora or KH2 Sora?

1432989 This is KH2 Sora

Give me moar NOW :Vinylhappy:

1433721I don't have moar yet :applecry:

My favorite boss to fight in the first game. The Stealth Sneak. Also, some errors to be noted:

The lord wanted to argue with her that it would be just a waste of time when they could have trying to solve it on their own but his train of thought was interrupted when the doors opened again and a guard came through.

Umm...not quite right there.

things aswell and you think

Need a space.

There were a couple other errors, like you misspelled honor and spelled it 'honour'. But, I'll let someone else find those mistakes. Until next chapter my friend.

Those types of Heartless are called Large Bodies, not Big Bodies.

1434186Actually, the honour thing is like the word colour, spelt differently in different places

when the new chaper is coming out?:ajbemused:

1478532Sorry, it shouldn't be too long but I've just been a bit busy recently. I'll make sure it's out by the end of the week at the latest

Aww yea son update!!!I love what you have done with the story wonderfull but faster updates would be nice:pinkiesmile:

I FUC**** hate those stupid chameleans!
did i spell that right oh well Nice job brocive!:pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:

1526771I'll try to update quicker but it's exams and stuff this week, I'm still working on the next chapter but it might only be another one late in the week at this rate.

1527165 I know the feeling of putting up with tests good sir,GOOD LUCK!

Spark Raid...

Shit just got real.

Valor form, stuff just got real.

I called it, about half way through the fight I said "He's going to go Valor":pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:


Fan has met the shit And it smells AMAZING!!!

I want more now. Twi is now broken because of soras transformation

shit just got real.

1562471don't you mean Dear Celestia.:facehoof:

Valor Form...Oh fuck. This won't end well. For the stealth sneak that is. If your showing us his valor form, then does that mean that at some point in time he'll use his wisdom and final form? And possibly shadow form?

1563413 Well there basically the same pony!

1567270 ones a wolf and the other is a pony.

Login or register to comment