Duke Nukem vs Rarity
Once Rarity stepped out of the portal, she threw herself to the floor, wailing in absolute anguish. She was too late. She hadn’t been able to get to Sweetie Belle in time and because of that she was probably dead. The thought of what those vile statues were doing to her sister made Rarity shiver with nausea. And the worst part was that it was all her fault. She should have tried harder, run faster, done something more. Perhaps if she had, Sweetie Belle would still be alive, but she wasn’t. And Rarity would have to live with that fact for the rest of her remaining life span, however short it may be. That said, there were three other beasts whom Rarity held accountable for her sisters grisly demise, and by Celestia they would suffer even if it was the last thing she ever did. Discord, Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis, the three demons orchestrating this macabre spectacle, they would be made to suffer and die the way Sweetie Belle undoubtedly did.
Unfortunately for Rarity, her rage and righteous indignation did not hold for very long and she curled up in a little ball on the soft red carpet and wept bitterly, interspersing her sobs with the name Sweetie Belle and the occasional whisper of “I’m so sorry.” Her little sister, that adorable little filly, was dead. No one would ever find her, lay her to rest or truly understand the hideous manner in which she passed away. Never again would she beg Rarity to do things together as sisters, nor would she somehow burn her juice. Never again would her beautiful voice grace the ears of ponies near and far and no more would she be hunting every day for a way to earn her cutie mark. Without Sweetie Belle, Rarity stopped caring about the survival game, the fact that her next opponent was undoubtedly here hunting for her or about life in general. If not for the lingering desire to torture and slay Discord, Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis, Rarity would have been more than willing to simply let her next foe take her life without a fight. It was what she deserved for failing Sweetie Belle as a sister.
Everything about this world was just sick and wrong. Had Pinkie Pie and Derpy honestly been ready to cut each other down? Spike and Sweetie Belle had been murdered by demonic living statues. Rarity herself had savagely taken the life of both that young girl Toph and the warrior Esmeraude. This world was far darker and crueller than the one she had once known. But that world was long gone now, even if she did manage to survive this game. Nothing would ever be the way it used to be again. All that remained was this hell of blood, death and stone.
Rarity allowed herself to wallow and wail for well over an hour before she finally managed to regain some measure of composure. She found the power and strength of will somewhere to get herself to stand up, but movement was still impossible since her legs were still shaking uncontrollably. Looking around, Rarity could see that she had been placed in an impressive and ornate corridor, the walls painted gold and white, with a deep crimson carpet beneath her. All around her were golden statues of the same bespectacled, square jawed human. Initially, Rarity wondered if these statues were as deadly as the last ones she had encountered, but had that been the case they would have already attacked. Rarity reasoned that it was safe to assume that they were simply statues and nothing more. Each statue appeared to be holding a bizarre “L” shaped object in each hand, all studded with gems. Aside from those precious stones, there didn’t seem to be a lot else by way of weaponry for Rarity in the hallway. At the far end of the corridor, Rarity could hear something moving. Hesitantly, Rarity decided it would be best to investigate.
As she drew closer, Rarity could hear some rather peculiar moans and groans, accompanied by the occasional shout. The noises appeared to be coming from behind a heavy wooden door and as Rarity began to turn the handle, a much more distinctive voice could be heard. It was mostly grunting along in rhythm with the other groans, but occasionally there was a deep and raspy word uttered, something akin to “yeah baby.” The door creaked open under the influence of Rarity’s magic and the white pony was absolutely horrified by what lay before her. On a television screen on the wall, four humans were writhing around completely naked doing unspeakable things with one another. She looked across at the titanic four poster bed where a human male in a dirty red vest and grubby jeans lay, grunting along with the foul image on the screen. His hair was gelled up so as to resemble a hedgehog’s spines and his eyes were hidden behind a thick pair of black sunglasses. The human reached across the bed and grabbed a tall red can. He drained the contents in four loud glugs before releasing a horrendous belch. Smacking his lips, the human turned towards Rarity.
“Hey,” he growled. “Beat it pony, you’re interrupting Duke’s ‘me time’.”
Rarity stood there in the door way, mouth agape. This hideous being in front of her, stinking unlike anything she had ever experienced before and covered in stains of questionable origin was her opponent, of that she had no doubt. But there was something piteous about this human. He was so pathetic, languishing in his own hollow existence, a slave to hedonism and a sorry excuse for a life. Rarity was almost loath to slay this man. She just stood there for a while as the human (he had referred to himself as Duke) began to shout profanities and gesticulate towards her, trying to decide how best to proceed.
That was when it hit her. Duke, this hideous wretch before her was still alive. A horrific waste of an existence, drowning himself in pleasures and shallow living with absolutely no promise and no future to speak of. Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle was rotting away in that godforsaken maze with the homicidal Angels. What sort of cruel injustice is it, that a beast of a man like Duke was permitted to continue his meaningless existence, whereas Sweetie Belle’s bright young future was forever extinguished? Such a mistake must be rectified. Rarity began to physically seethe with rage, all of her anger at the Weeping Angels, Discord, Nightmare Moon, Crysalis and the universe in general bubbled up and exploded as she threw herself at the somewhat surprised Duke.
The suddenness of Rarity’s attack had caught Duke off guard and that made his reaction a bit too slow. Rarity landed heavily on his chest and slammed her hooves down on him with impressive force. The hit should have at least broken a rib, but Duke seemed to be more solidly built that she had previously anticipated. With barely a seconds hesitation, Rarity thrust her head forward, slamming her forehead into Duke’s face. Her horn wasn’t sharp enough to puncture his skin, but her skull was hard enough to shatter his nose. Duke tried to tried to shout, but Rarity had winded him with her first attack. Duke’s left arm shot up instinctively to the bloody mess in the middle of his face where his nose should have been. His right hand followed swiftly and punched Rarity solidly in the head. The pony was thrown off of Duke’s torso and into the wall a few feet away.
Rarity hit the floor, but quickly got back to her hooves, ready to continue the fight. Duke chugged down the liquid from another tall can, crushed it and hurled the little ball of metal right at Rarity. He missed, by several inches, but the force of the throw was impressive enough to let Rarity know that Duke was not going to be as easy to defeat as she had previously hoped. Rarity sidestepped to put a little bit more distance between herself and Duke as the human swung his legs off the bed and staggered to his feet.
Duke was a goliath of a man, standing over six feet tall. His muscles rippled under his skin, mountains of power that were waiting to be released. He stomped towards Rarity, his huge combat boots causing the ground to shake underneath her to shake. He pulled up his knee and threw his foot at Rarity. She tried to dodge, but Duke’s Mighty Boot was too big and too fast and the heel caught her rump. With a yelp, Rarity was thrown through the door on the other side of the room. Duke laughed loudly “good thing ponies look like donkeys, because I really kick ass!”
Out in the hallway, Rarity was quick to her hooves again. That kick would have done a lot of damage to almost any other pony, but Rarity was different. While she liked to give the impression of a demure and delicate mare, more suited to delicacy and finesse than physical labour, her body was actually a lot more sturdy than one might imagine. Years of pulling along heavy crates of gem stones and the occasional bolder had made her tougher physically that many of Celestia’s royal guards. A hit like the one she had just received would possibly disable her temporarily, but it wouldn’t actually hurt her too much. Her beautiful white rump would be showing a very impressive bruise though. To her right, Rarity could hear a soft click and she turned to face Duke.
That was when she realised what the L shaped objects the statues had been holding were. Guns. They were different to the ones that the ponies had been developing, but the overall concept appeared to be the same. If that was the case, then Rarity knew that she had to get out of the way of the solid gold fire arm that was currently trained on her forehead. Thankfully, Duke was still wobbling from the effects of the thing he had been drinking (presumably some form of alcohol) and so his aim was not as keen as it might otherwise have been. There was a loud bang and a hole opened up in the wall where Rarity’s head had been a second earlier. Duke turned and levelled his other pistol at the retreating image of Rarity. His finger twitched and another bullet flew past Rarity’s head. The white unicorn dashed down a corridor to her left and charged as fast as she could to get away.
The thuds of Duke’s combat boots became softer as Rarity continued her escape. Duke was absolutely huge compared to the other humans she had faced, and she was absolutely positive that if Duke ever managed to actually hit her with one of his guns, it would put a serious dent in her chances of winning. No matter how strong she was, Rarity could only take so much punishment before her body just gave up on her, and she could not allow that to happen. If she died here, she would be robbed of the chance to avenge Sweetie Belle, which was not something that she could allow. Discord, Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon would suffer greatly for what they did to her sister. Through sheer force of will and determination, Rarity managed to clear her mind and focus on exactly how best to deal with Duke.
At present, she was vastly out matched. Duke had guns, superior strength and was in a familiar terrain. Rarity was unarmed, running blind and unable to shield herself from bullets. She did however have the advantage of speed and she could also use magic. She wasn’t as adept at spell casting as Twilight Sparkle, so her offensive magic was somewhat ineffective. However, given her life and career in Ponyville, she was fairly competent with levitation. Capable of lifting very heavy objects and moving them around with ease. With that in mind, Rarity realised that she wasn’t so defenceless after all. This entire world was her armoury. Statues, light fittings, wires, paintings, chairs, tables, everything that could move could be used as her weapon.
Rarity slammed through a beautiful set of hand carved oak doors and stood on the balcony above an impressive atrium. She was on the first floor, the deep crimson carpet under her hooves still luxuriously soft. The balcony was narrow, the back wall covered with doors. Clearly this was some kind of central area of the building, designed to be a gathering place from which it was easy to disperse throughout the building. In between the doors were statues of Duke in various poses, accentuating his muscles and showing off an array of weaponry. On the atrium side of the balcony, the whole structure seemed to be supported by thick white columns of marble. A solid oak bannister is all that separated Rarity from a fairly hefty fall to the ground below. Looking out from her lofty perch, Rarity could see that the hall beneath her was not decorated in the same way as the rest of the building appeared to be. The red carpet was still there, but instead of covering the whole floor, it travelled in a single line from the large double doors on the far side all the way around the water feature in the centre and then back in on itself to the door, allowing the black and white checked tiles to be clearly seen.
The water feature itself was highly impressive. A full marble basin of shimmering water sparkled as a solid gold statue of Duke unceremoniously urinated into it. The whole thing was impressive yes, but utterly repulsive at the same time. Above the fountain hung a crystal chandelier, grand as any in Caterlot. It would have been exquisitely beautiful in anyone else’s possession.
Everything about Duke actively offended Rarity. He was rude, arrogant, oafish, self-absorbed and totally brutish. In short, he was everything that Sweetie Belle had not been. Thoughts returned to Rarity of how unfair it was that Sweetie Belle had perished in such a foul place and tears spawned afresh in her eyes. That thought was all the motivation she needed. Rarity positioned herself in the centre of the balcony, looking all around at every possible entrance that Duke could use so that she wouldn’t be taken by surprise. That said, Rarity didn’t really believe that surprise was really Duke’s style. He seemed to be far more likely to just charge headlong into a brawl and hope for the best.
Within seconds, Rarity’s suspicions were confirmed. A huge explosion drew her attention to the double doors on the ground floor. Out of the encircling dust cloud, Duke strode out looking remarkably pleased with himself. Over his left shoulder was what looked like a short length of pipe, but the smoke slithering out of the end betrayed its true destructive purpose. Duke laughed loudly before declaring loudly “Heeeeeere’s Johnny!”
Rarity had absolutely no idea what Duke was talking about, but it didn’t really matter that much. The human pulled out what Rarity could only assume was another type of gun and aimed. His right hand wrapped around the grip and trigger, his left held the barrel loosely. The weapon was held at hip height, but the barrel was tilted up towards Rarity. Duke smiled crookedly and breathed out slowly.
“Hail to the king, baby!”
Before Rarity had a chance to be confused, the weapon in Duke’s hands exploded, sending a volley of bullets flying all around her. Rarity leapt to the side and rolled behind a marble pillar as the onslaught from Duke’s weapon followed. Splinters of wood and chips of stone flew past her, and sparks flew as the bullets ricocheted off of the pillar she was hiding behind. The noise was absolutely deafening. Rarity made herself as small as she possibly could to avoid taking a hit. She knew that if Duke kept her pinned here, eventually she’d be killed. What she needed to do was give herself an opening, a lull in Duke’s attack so that she could press her counter attack. While Duke’s gun was holding her on the defensive, she was doomed, but if she could just catch a break, even if it was only a few seconds, she could perhaps do some damage. A plan quickly formed in her mind. All she needed was her chance.
After a few more seconds, Duke stopped firing to reload. The process only took about five seconds, but that was more than enough time for Rarity to make her move. She leapt out from behind her pillar and, using her magic, hurled one of Duke’s statues at the chain supporting the chandelier, causing the whole thing to come crashing down into the atrium. Duke toppled backwards out of the way, dropping his gun in the process. Rarity wasn’t going to give him the chance to recover. She charged along the balcony, plucking the gems out of every statue along the way and levitating them around her head as she ran.
At the end of the balcony, Rarity jumped nimbly onto the bannister that wound around the staircase down into the atrium and let herself slide down. Twisting her hooves to keep her balance, Rarity was able to slide down the bannister with ease. The gems that she had stolen began to spin around in little groups, faster and faster as she slid down. As Duke got to his feet, Rarity began to hurl the gems at him in bursts of three at a time. Since Rarity could normally thread a needle whilst simultaneously measuring out a length of fabric and tacking together a garment, her aim was what could only be described as exceptional. However, throwing gems at high speed while sliding down a bannister in her current emotional state, it was not entirely surprising that many of her missiles missed their target. But those gems that did strike had a devastating effect. Some of the smaller gems had ripped clean through Duke’s body, resulting in a small red spray every time. The larger ones either embedded themselves in his flesh, generating little streams of blood, or they simply bounced off of his muscle bound body. Nevertheless, each impact had the desired effect of damaging Duke further.
Rarity reached the bottom of the stairs and hurled the remainder of her gems at Duke in a constant stream. Duke staggered slightly, bleeding from several small wounds that had opened up all over his body. Some of them gave the impression of being quite serious, but most of them appeared to be mostly superficial. Duke reached behind himself and drew out another tall red can and a plastic jar, full of some kind of pills. Duke tore the top of the jar off with his teeth and tipped the entire contents into his throat. He crushed the can in his hand and chugged as much of the liquid as he could through his new improvised openings, while most of the substance sloshed onto his chin and shirt. He straightened up his head and wiped his chin clean with his hand. When his gaze returned to Rarity, he seemed different.
Duke was somehow revitalised, and that was absolutely terrifying. Despite being about twenty feet away from Rarity, Duke started running straight towards her. He was much faster than before, despite his injuries and Rarity had very little time to react. Before she could do anything, Duke had scooped Rarity up with his left hand and held her aloft, choking her. He glared into her face for a second before tossing her into the air. Duke clasped his hands together and twisted his body to the side.
“Batter up!”
As Rarity plummeted towards the ground, Duke swung his arms and slammed both fists into Rarity’s side. Rarity felt the air rush out of her lungs accompanied by an unhealthy splash of blood. She heard the sickening crack of bones breaking and she knew that she had broken at least a rib, probably a lot more. Her flight was cut short by the torso of Duke’s urinating statue. Her hip was almost completely shattered by the impact and Rarity fell limply into the water, only to have her skin sliced open by hundreds of shards of broken glass from the chandelier. The clear water swiftly took on a more crimson shade, and Rarity would have howled in agony had she any air left in her body, but all she could muster was to seal her eyes shut and writhe around in the bloody water, noiselessly screaming.
Duke approached more slowly, clearly the effects of the pills he had taken were wearing off. Rarity didn’t even acknowledge him until he was almost on top of her. Barely able to even think coherently, Rarity reached out for the chain of the chandelier with her magic and chucked it at Duke. The chain struck his neck with enough force to knock him to the ground as it wrapped around into a strangle hold. Rarity knew that she didn’t have a lot of time, her injuries were severe and Duke had already proved his unwillingness to just die. She needed to finish this fight now. She was losing a lot of blood, and her vision was getting increasingly blurry. Her front right hoof was completely unusable, and her hip prevented her from being able to move the back two, and the remaining left hoof was in intolerable agony. Rarity looked around for a weapon that she could use from this position. She didn’t know how long her magic would be able to hold out, but she needed to try something.
Lying in the pool, right next to Rarity, was the statue that she had thrown at the chandelier. Rarity didn’t know whether she still had the strength to lift it, but perhaps through sheer determination and force of will she could do it. She focused as well as she could on the statue and tried to force it up. Initially, nothing happened, but then the statue started to rattle. Another push from Rarity and the statue was in the air. Rarity rotated it so that it was stood up straight and moved the testament to Duke over to the subject’s head. Duke’s eyes widened in horror as he realised what was about to happen. Rarity released her grip and the black marble base came down heavily on Duke’s face. There was a gruesome squishy crunch as Duke’s skull collapsed, permitting the softer things within to be squeezed out, like juice from a grape.
Duke’s arms and legs spasmed for a few seconds before falling still. There was a grisly splatter of blood, flecked with specks of brain and skull all around the statue. And Rarity didn’t even care. In fact, it was more than just not caring. Rarity was glad that Duke was dead. She was glad that she had been the one to end his miserable existence and she was glad that she had made him suffer as she did so. She didn’t even feel the pain anymore she had lost so much blood and as the portal opened up beneath her, she rejoiced in the fact that she was now one step closer to facing Discord, Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon…
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Holy crap that was brutal. I feel real bad for Rarity but wow, however I'm still on her side and Duke was a total douche, so yeah, glad he's dead.
Anyway, great chapter and I am looking forward to the next. Also, good luck with your move.
Well....it's better than occasionally glancing over and not being able to read your handwriting
You know, if you were planning on actually killing off the Mane 6, I feel this would've been a good place for Rarity to meet her end. Her sister is dead, she's been forced to kill multiple times, she'll never be able to go back to her normal life, and the only thing letting her continue is her want for revenge. Let's face it: Rarity is broken beyond any sort of repair.
Yes, I realize that the others have been forced to kill, and that Twilight had lost Spike, but the others seemed to have taken their kills better than Rarity has (except maybe Fluttershy) and Spike was just an assistant, not quite the full force of losing your sibling.
3046713 I was not going to let Rarity die at the hands of someone like Duke Nukem. I may or may not have plans for the ponies to fall in future, but it's never going to be against someone like Duke. It will be cruel, brutal and ultimately humiliating probably, that's just the way these fights end.
Plus, it's always more fun to build up your cannon fodder before you cut them down. Give them a sense of achievement before snatching the light from their eyes and letting them crash into oblivion, don't you think? Such a thing can not merely be achieved in three fights.
3047472
Something I think would be cool to see would be the Mane 6 vs The Mane 6 from another universe.
It would be interesting to see how the ponies would react to killing their own friends.
(Maybe have some go up against themselves and have some go up against not-themselves?)
After all, what would it be like to kill yourself...
3047472 Or maybe Twilight vs Jinx? Both use purple energy to attack and both voiced by Tara Strong.
3048808 So like, Mane 6 vs Rule 63'd Mane 6? And for the suggestion at the bottom, like Pinkie versus Cupcakes!Pinkie?
Yipe. If Rarity ever is killed, it's some comfort that she at least overcame this particular hump. Pity about Sweetie Belle, though; it doesn't seem like we're really getting a happy ending no matter how things go.
I bet that's the Chaingun Cannon/Ripper from Duke Nukem 3D....(I know it's in Forever, but I know it first appears in 3D)
3050808 That's exactly it. Decent rate of fire but poor reload times. I felt it appropriate for this one.
3051249
I would expect Duke to pull that out when he's getting tired of fighting someone. That thing is deadly,but of course Duke's bullets seem to deal more damage than the bullets from the enemies that carry it(Except on high difficulties). I've always wondered, what's up with that? Is that Main Character logic there? The protagonist seems to always be the one who deals more damage with a weapon than the enemy wielding the same weapon,unless it's a high difficulty.
3049860 actually, I was talking about alternate versions of the mares as mares, but I like you idea with the rule 63'd ponies better Also, Cupcakes Pinkie, might be coll, but I'd prefer the first idea.
Also if the author uses this idea I hope that only one or two ponies go up against their counterpart whereas others have to kill a counterpart of their friend.
3051249 Look up at the above paragraph
I am I the onl one who one of main six should be dead be now!!??
Only*
3051249
Now im starting to see a pattern here... Every time the mane 6 are up against the challengers they get beat up to hell then suddenly have a second wind? The hell you playing at man?
Ugh. This fight and chapter turned out the way I expected it to turn out: bloody, gruesome, and topped off with some nice deep, cold revenge. Look out Discord, Chrysalis, and Nightmare Moon, because once Rarity makes it to you guys, you're toast.
~ Super-Brony12
3070681 pattern? Fluttershy vs Katniss, Twilight vs Vizzini, Pinkie vs Lucy, Weeping Angels. They didn't follow the pattern.
3069650 no you aren't. But I have tried to stage each fight to make it understandable why they won
3069650 no you aren't. But I have tried to stage each fight to make it understandable why they won
3073807
O rly? seems legit.
Twilight vs The Balrog of Morgoth
It seems the name of the tvtropes page has been changed from "pony vs..." to "fanfics: pony vs...", which derped the CMOA and YMMV sections - if you guys put anything there, you will have to enter it again
They aaaaaalll deserve to dieeeeeeee
When you mentioned the chandelier, I thought she was going to use the pieces of it to kill him. - lying among broken glass and not knowing where to find a weapon seems a bit strange. Then again, the form of the final blow she did choose was... so very apropriate.
Now let's hope that she has enough functional body parts to crawl through that portal
P.S. You think it would be overkill to suggest Colonel Glass next?
Duke lost? Downvote.
Shotgun: bullets? Yeah, no. Come on, just because you don't have guns doesn't mean you have to be completely ignorant on them.