Traveling between parallel universes is impossible, especially during the process of regeneration, but the Tenth Doctor doesn't have time to question the facts. He's just been thrust through a tear in the fabric of reality, gotten a new body, and landed on a planet called Equestria. Specifically, he's landed in the worst possible place in all Equestria – somewhere that's ready to unleash a “big ol' storm of chaos”.
That's just the beginning of the Doctor's strange new lease on life: there's a whole host of mysteries to explore. Who is Derpy Hooves, the gray pegasus who understands more about him than even she knows how to explain? How does Princess Celestia already know him? And what's the truth behind the Order?
Above all, the Doctor needs to discover if this new universe can heal the wounds he suffered in the last. Only one thing is certain: there's an awful lot of running left to do.
(Warning: For those of you who haven't watched up to the Doctor Who episode 'The End of Time'... spoilers. Also, this story begins between Seasons 2 and 3 of FiM, and things start to... diverge from there.)
Side stories can be found at The Merely Mundane Tales (of a Mad-Pony in a Box).
Just, before I read it,
HOLY GUACAMOLE ITS A 21,000 WORD CHAPTER.
SOME STORIES DON'T EVEN TOTAL THAT LONG.
1383899 You know what they say - go big or go home.
But seriously, my idea was that it would take about as long to read as it would take to watch an average episode of Doctor Who. I figure people can read roughly 1 page a minute, and it came out to about 42 pages on my computer, so that's about right.
Oh, and it's also supposed to be as long as a season of Doctor Who. So this is the first of 13 chapters - some will be two-parters like this one, others will be relatively 'stand-alone'.
1383968
I... I think I love you.
Edit: for both making this and planning to continue it in the most awesome of ways, I mean. It sounds creepy otherwise.
Dang this is just whoa and it's amazing. I think this is the best fanfiction I've read in my life and I've read tons.
1383968
Finished reading.
HOLY BANNANA IN THE 10TH DOCTORS POCKET THAT WAS AWESOME.
1385019but its the ninth doctor who kept a banana on him?
It takes a lot for me to favorite an ongoing story right away. That'll do it.
Dude... this is BRILLIANT! You deserve many more views for this wonderful piece of art.
And you're planning 13 chapters? That makes this story even more amazing!
Tracking, fav'd and liked, keep up the good work!
1385306 First of all, thank you!
Second of all... well, 13 chapters for one 'series', anyway. I've got at least two such serieses (not a real word, but whatever) planned out., so you can expect more than just 13.
1385549 That's even better.
This is gonna be good.
Hell, this is already good. This is already really good. I'm watching this story.
Okeydokey, I've made a few VERY minor edits on the advice of a friend of mine. But I'd be very grateful to read some critiques/questions/suggestions about this story from some of you guys.
Also, thank you for 23 favorites, everyone! (And 15 likes - how exactly does that work?)
As much as I greatly enjoyed this read, your "42 pages one page a minute one episode" is a bad idea. You're over- judging the average reader; many are not willing to stay still reading for a quarter hour, especially without page breaks so one can easily re-find his place in a chapter. Also, you and I both are privileged in that we are fast readers. Just a few things to consider.
"“I once DJ'd one of her fashion shows, and let me tell you, she really is one of the most generous ponies I've ever seen.” She wolf-whistled."
You didn't.
Please tell me you didn't just type that.
I'm pretty sure Rarity doesn't roll that way.
1385038
Exactly. It's a rare thing. A Magical thing.
All right. This is me, reading this for the second time, and recording my thoughts as I do so.
And no, people, this does not mean you can get me to do this just by asking. Just in case you were getting ideas.
Nice intro. This is a new twist on the story of the Doctor in Equestria, and I like that. On the other hand, all these references to different Doctors being different people and regeneration being death are irritating... but they are kind of necessary for the premise- the Tenth and Eleventh Doctors having separate consciousnesses- and furthermore I suspect they'll pass, so I can live with it.
"As the energy burst from his face and his hands inferno"... hang on, there's something missing here. Preposition, I think.
Hang on. If this is a Tenth Doctor story, why does it reference the "madman with a box" line? That's an Eleventh Doctor thing.
So. Discord. As foretold in the handy spoiler-free reference page, aka the chapter titles. He's not exceptionally on form here- the exploding discarded comestible is hardly new- but "What's up, Doc?" is pretty darn good given the circumstances.
Gray horse, gray horse... aha! Derpy Hooves! And she's strange without setting off the deep-rooted heebie-jeebies I get sometimes from listening to people pretending to be less intelligent than they are. Perfect.
Oh, and she recognizes the Doctor. Interesting. Well. Allons-y.
"A wolf will fly and sing"? Ten bucks says that comes back to bite us before the "season"'s through.
Discord is better here. The French and the slack-jawed terror line are pretty classic.
And Twilight seems to have learned from past mishaps very well indeed. I like that. Zero to friendship in two spells. Of course, it wouldn't be much of a story if such a gambit actually worked this early on, so...
Okay, the bit about tongues and breathing was just nasty. Damn, Discord, you are a master troll.
On the other hand, this really isn't "a taste of [their] own rainbow-flavored medicine", is it? If somepony actually used the Elements of Harmony on Twilight Sparkle and friends, they wouldn't do anything. That's what makes them such a great weapon- the ordnance is morality; they only change what needs changing. We're talking about a weapon that can not only tell friend from foe, but good from evil- literally a magic bullet.
So Discord is just being petty and vengeful because he hasn't got a leg to stand on in that department. That makes sense, honestly.
"YES, I'M AN OUTER SPACE ALIEN!" Heh. Perturbed Doctor is amusing.
"Element of Disharmony"? I think you mean Spirit, or maybe embodiment... I certainly don't recall any mention of Discord under this title in the show.
"Ms. Prince's Callous Tie-ay".... Discord is getting better and better. I'm picturing him in a delivery man outfit with matching hat, just strolling into the throne room not giving a fuck.
Oh, and Celestia knows about the Doctor as well. That certainly bodes well for his eventual success, doesn't it? This is his first time in Equestria, so in order to eventually arrive in Equestria's past and allow a pony or two to get acquainted with him, he must first survive what he's doing in Equestria's present, and get access to time travel of some sort... but I have to admit I didn't think of that on the first read-through.
Heh. I didn't even notice that "keep faster" bit the first time. That's... interesting. What I did notice was the irritated horse snort, which is a very nice touch, especially in a story where not everyone originates in Equestria.
Wait, we weren't in Canterlot before? I thought Discord's statue was in the palace gardens...
"Most importantly, how do I get back to the real universe when I'm done here?" That's going to drop in priority right about... [Canterlot is on fire] now. (On the other hoof, we've just had it confirmed that he hasn't figured out he shouldn't be alive yet, which should be interesting later on.)
And Discord knows all about the Doctor. I guess that doesn't necessarily predict past interactions, given his level of interface with the average pony mind. It is annoying, though. But that's par for the course with Discord.
Plus Discord gets a moment to espouse his personal philosophy, which is creepy but nice to know about. He's not the Joker- he doesn't have some archnemesis whose attention he's trying to attract, some neverending battle in which he hasn't yet managed to score any decisive blows. He's Mr. Mxyzptlk. He's always had the upper hand- any appearance to the contrary is him toying with his opponent; any semblance of rules to the conflict is him imposing a challenge upon himself. And it's all for fun- which, as any good comedian knows, is all about surprises. The fewer players in the game, the fewer places surprises can come from, and the more boring it is. Killing one's opponents- or even one's game pieces- is just stupid in that context. Why remove a potential source of fun?
Oh, and the Doctor knows who Celestia is now. So there's that.
And now, background ponies! Nice work introducing us to Octavia and Vinyl as characters right up front. Some people might call it telling rather than showing, but I would call it showing but with narration- you summarize who these ponies are, and then allow them to give examples of each character trait through their behavior. To sum up: good job.
There's a socket that makes everypony commit arson?
And... I'm not sure when we realized Octy and Vinyl were a couple, but I'm very sure it's true, at least by the point when Octavia realizes she's stopped worrying. That's a very nice effect if you can get it.
"Well, too bad! Because I've brought a cellist!"
That's also good.
And now, of course, everything goes to shit.
I hate it when brainwashing uses the truth. It's... augh. The whole idea that someone else can tell you who you are and expect you to agree with them is fucked up, regardless of whether they're right. Telepathy is a total bitch specifically because thoughts don't matter- regardless of how many times someone asks you to tell them "what you really think," they ought to walk away with an understanding based on what you choose to tell them. We don't always choose our thoughts; we do always choose which ones to act on or speak, and how. Choices are the truest representation of identity.
But now I'm ranting about my philosophy, which, while relevant to the story and my experience with it, doesn't really describe what I think of the writing- brainwashing is a Discord thing, not an R5h thing; it's expected here and it's done well, regardless of my personal opinion on the topic in general. Moving on.
This phrasing doesn't really feel like Ten to me. Something about the rapid-fire repetition, combined with inconsistent phrasing of the question... "What did you do? Discord! What did you do to her?" might work better.
And then... well, that wasn't fun to watch, but it was well executed. (Frightening thought: when Octavia turns washed-out, how can you tell? Her tie?) Second read-through thought: I have a pretty good idea what element Vinyl will end up using at this point. Not sure about Octavia, although Discord's bit about Vinyl using her might be a clue...
Eep. Didn't notice that the first time.
So, yes, Discord revels and the Doctor runs. (Also Discord probably looks fairly amusing with his fangs ten times too big for his face, but I suspect the whole thing being a good twenty times taller than you cancels that out.) Straightforward. Expected. On with the show.
Oh, hey, Lyra's here! It certainly is good to appreciate the small things; I'm wholly in agreement there. I love noticing new sentences.
First read-through thought: Oh shit he got Bon Bon. That bastard.
Second read-through thought: Damn, Bon Bon is a good actress. Also I think I know her element. We're definitely not maintaining the previous mapping of elements to pony types; that's interesting.
And then Discord just... leaves. That feels a bit off to me. He didn't leave Twilight Sparkle alone until he was satisfied that she didn't stand a chance against him. Maybe he feels like the Doctor needs a bit more help, since he neutralized the Elements first this time?
And now introductions, and hopefully some actual effort to right wrongs now that we don't have a god of chaos breathing down our necks. Bon Bon is sassy. I like that; it's going to make things interesting.
Oooh. Lyra. is. CLEVER.
And now... tips from the future, I suppose. I guess now that they have this TARDIS, eventually they can go in it to find a past version and send it here to become this one?
And that is rather rude, Bon Bon... rude and not ginger. Hmph.
Ohhhh, Discord is feeding on the Doctor. I guess that could explain why he left him alone- doing anything permanent to him might decrease his own abilities.
Or it could be that.
Huh. Discord can't travel in time and space on his own? He seems pretty thoroughly omnipotent in the show- he even has that perfect flashback moment with Twilight Sparkle when she asks about the rules of the game. I was under the impression he was just keeping things linear for the benefit of the audience (i.e., the ponies involved).
Ooh. Clever use of the Space/Time gambit... of course, that should always be a last resort, and really shouldn't even be considered when dealing with an enemy that can teleport. I know, technically the interior of a TARDIS is its own space, only as connected to the outside world as it wants to be, but still... I wouldn't trust Discord to stay stuck in it.
I might trust him to leave, though, especially with Derpy at the helm. ;) That is impressive.
Oh God, I thought about it.
Seriously, though, that's terrifying. Don't poop in the time-sensitive stalls.
And now we're starting to warm up to one another. That's good. Some more explanation... Lyra doesn't flip at the mention of humans. Interesting. She does like fingers, though; that certainly fits.
I can hear Ten saying "Nah"... "tech", not so much.
And Bon Bon does voices. Hehe, perfect. (Personally I subscribe to the "identical x-tuplets" theory, as seen in egophiliac's Slice of Pony Life tumblr here, but this one is funny too.)
The Doctor remembers about the specific ponies who can use the Elements all on his own. Nice work there.
Ooh, and he uses knowledge of his own shared timeline with Discord to visit the Elements uninterrupted. Very clever.
Woo, Time Lord exposition powers!
No, but seriously, this is well summarized, and a good showcase for the Doctor's compassion in asking Twilight and the others for help and helping them in return.
The first time I read this I thought "hang on, but there's only four of them..." and then when we picked up with Vinyl again I was like "ohhhh." Well done there- I had thought that Vinyl and Octavia were just an example of Discord being Discord.
Heh. They used Four's scarf to tie up Octavia. Nice.
“That's Bon Bon over,”: I think you're missing the word "there"... also, failing to think of any redeeming qualities seems kind of rude at this point. She's been clever and helpful and put up with everything up to and including a shower in reverse; you'd think he would remember some of that. She's also a pretty great actress.
Nice narration there, hehe.
"Nice number, six." I'll say- that's how many individuals are meant to pilot a TARDIS.
Heh. They're using time travel to jumpstart Vinyl and Octy, in place of Twilight Sparkle's memory spell. There's a handy way to include the TARDIS in an individual story. Be wary of doing too much of that, though- you don't want to turn into Steven Moffat, getting paradoxes in your season finales and rewriting observed places and people in your Christmas specials.
This is a pretty great scene, though, and surprisingly believable- one musician with too much pride, another having too much fun, go from competing to cooperating in an unorthodox way... ooh, and there's Rarity to save the day! Nice cameo; very in character. I like it.
Ooh, and Vinyl sticks the landing, ingratiating herself with the musician whose performance she disrupted in the first place. Nicely done- and with innuendo, too. Bonus points.
And now the natural moment of disbelief before jumping into adventure hooves-first... and look who's not mentioning herself when she brings up ponies who should get to opt out. I definitely know which element Bon Bon is. I think.
Unless it's Derpy. Damn.
Nice character moment for her there, but the rhythm on that rhyming chant is bugging me- if it's what you would expect ("DA da daa, DA da daa, DA da DA da DA da daa", similar to the chant Fluttershy recalls being teased with), then the second line goes "CAN'T fly STRAIGHT, trips WHEN she moves", and that sounds downright weird. Either "Derpy can't do basic moves" or "Can't do basic flying moves" would fit better...
Oh, so we're going with that interpretation for her name here? Okay then.
Huh. So that's where we stop for now? Interesting. Doesn't seem like there's much left to the conflict with Discord- comparing these six to the original bearers versus Nightmare Moon, all we've got left is Twilight's lecture, and then the big rainbow death attack. So I'm curious how you're going to take up forty pages with Part Two... which, of course, ensures I'll stick around to find out. :) Clever.
1403311
... wow. That was a better critique than I could have ever hoped for!
First of all, thanks for noticing the various grammar errors and missing words. They must have just slipped by me.
As for some of your other points:
This was basically me trying to be a bit different. You see, there are so many variations on "Doctor Whooves" - Doctor Whooves, the Doctor Whooves Adventures, Doctor Whooves and Assistant - that I didn't want to get people even more confused by naming this one the same way. "The Majestic Tale" should make it easier to tell apart from other crossovers. Yes, it is an 11th Doctor thing, but the Doctor's always been a madman in a box, even if he didn't call himself that. (And also, the full title is a reference to this song, which is one of my favorites from any Doctor Who ever, even if it's not for the 10th Doctor.)
-You owe me ten bucks, because that's not showing up this 'series' (as the wacky Brits say). You'll have to wait a bit longer for that Chekhov's Gun to fire.
-Oops, I guess he isn't. Can we just say that it's Derpy's fault, not mine?... no, I suppose not.
-Yeah, Celestia knows about him. And hell, I already said that there's going to be 13 'episodes', and as this is a two-parter he's not exactly going to lose, is he? (Or maybe he will, and the rest of the chapters will just be "The Discord Show".Spoilers.)
... shit. I don't think the sculpture garden is too incredibly close to Canterlot, so it seems reasonable that they wouldn't have noticed the fire... well, maybe. I probably should have looked at a map.
If you plug things into the wrong sockets, you may end up causing a fire with faulty electrical connections. Which wouldn't be great. (Hence the arson line.)
Actually, I didn't intend for them to be a couple at this point in time.
Oh, you do, do you?
As far as I'm concerned, he can't time-travel or leave Equestria - that would be way too overpowered. Hence why it would be VERY bad for him to have a TARDIS. (And as far as I'm concerned, the flashback with Twilight was just taking her back into her memories.) As for why he can't leave Equestria... well, you'll have to wait on that one.
I'm trying to not stick too close to the fanon (hence bitchy Bon Bon). There aren't any humans in Equestria, after all, so how would Lyra know about them? Fingers, on the other hand (har har), do exist - and in my opinion, any creature without opposable thumbs would be very envious of those who had a pair.
Well, he is rude (and STILL not ginger). And he doesn't have the highest opinion of her right now (due to, among other things being rude to him and insulting Derpy for no reason), but it was mostly a joke rather than a serious insult.
I do have a weakness for the wibbly wobbly and the timey wimey, but I don't think it's going to be as big of a thing in my stories. Well, maybe now and then.
Can't give it away too early, can I? The hints are pretty much all there, and judging by your comments it looks like you've found most of them, but I hope I'll keep it surprising.
They can't use the Elements, though. And I promise that you'll have a good long Part 2 to sink your metaphorical teeth into. All will be revealed... well, many things will be revealed, anyway. I can't give away too many secrets at once.
Once again, thank you so much for the praise/criticism. I can't tell you when exactly Part 2 will be revealed, but I promise that it'll be as good as I can make it.
PS: Feel free to guess Elements in the comments!
1404232 Even more selected responses to your selected responses...
Well, that's a good thing to do, but it doesn't really explain this particular choice of title. You could have called it "An Awful Lot of Galloping", for instance.
Ah, I see. That is a good song. Carry on, then.
Well, ever since I heard about the thirteen regeneration limit on Time Lords I've been intrigued by the idea of a post-Doctor Doctor Who, focusing on other people continuing to adventure and right wrongs and save planets and run a lot in the Doctor's memory... but that's probably another story.
You probably should have looked at Return of Harmony. Cheerilee: "I want to start our field trip here, in the world-famous Canterlot Sculpture Garden."
Yeah, I figured this was Vinyl's reasoning- I was really just poking fun at her misuse of parallelism.
That's kind of a silly question, given that there aren't any unicorns or pegasi on Earth. (Or any squirrels in Cloudsdale. Remember the So Many Wonders song?)
Time can be rewritten, but not once you've read it. Step over this line and I will... well, I won't stop reading; Moffat's proven that time and again. But I will rebuke you violently in the comments.
That's never been made explicit. And even if it had, neither could Twilight and her crew- until they could.
Just one chapter I said, you can sleep when it's over. No. if I must choose between these stories and sleep, I can sleep when I'm dead.
Lets make it 30 likes and a favorite
1531013 You actually got:
-The 20th comment
-The 30th like
-The 40th favorite
A winner is you!
1531029 No freaking way, wow that is more than a coincidence
So Awesome
GREAT story if you ever need any help coming up with ideas or clearing writers block or cleaning up the soda in the space time continuum. I'm here to help.
P.S. What about the tenth Doctors 3-D glasses!?!? Those were awesome!!!
GERONIMO!!!
1537174 Hey, white is a color too!
More importantly, so are cyan and magenta, the color of her mane and eyes. They drained out as well.
And I'm not worried about writer's block. In fact, Chapter 2 is mostly drafted by now.
soooooo, More time-traveling ponies that will probably harvest the elements and break time and space and create another element that controls time and the doctor uses it? Like I said WRITER'S BLOCK
GERONIMO!!!
And you Didn't answer my 3-D glasses question!!!
GERONIMO!!!
1644805 First of all, thank you!
Second of all, what exactly do you mean by fanfics that "borrow far too heavily from the original content"?
Thirdly, I had my reservations about the onomatopoeia as well, but in the end I felt it was the best way to say what I was trying to say.
And finally...
Not when I'm typing, it doesn't.
Eh, I don't have time to finish it now, didn't realize it was this long.
But what I've read is pretty awesome. And the tenth doctor? Even better!
Vale Decem = Latin = Farewell Tenth
This... This story... Wow.
), but this was just fantastic! I would absolutely love to read a whole "season" of Doctor Who. I cannot express through words how excited this makes me*SQUEE* 
... Er... Um... I eagerly await much more. 
I massively enjoy reading large chapters (probably a little too much
Post read: Okay. So after a long time of reading, lollygagging, fixing minecraft, reading, moving a dog house, fighting a nasty headache, reading, watching TV, playing the fixed minecraft, and mostly reading... I've finished. And I must say... Wow. Simply wow. That was... Amazing. It kept you going all the way through. It keeps you guessing the whole time and right when you think you know something BAM it flips you on your head. It's bloody fantastic. I can't wait for what's next. I know this took forever, but this was so fantasticly awesome, I'd wait until the end of time for more. Until we meet again.
oh my word.
You have delivered again.
I remember the first chapter, Favorited and now.... You sir are amazing.
The scary part is I had in youtube the soundtrack of Doctor Who... the music was literally going with the flow of the entire piece, just... amazing.
Maybe if I create multiple accounts I can Upvote this more.
Best. Doctor. Whooves. Fic. Ever. PLEASE don't keep us waiting so long next time; this is such an extraordinarily well written story.
What a nice chapter!
OH BOY.
Responses to comments!
2193885 Thank you! I didn't realize it would keep people guessing, but I'm glad to hear it did!
2194313 Which soundtrack? It might have been some of the same stuff I was listening to while writing it. Is it possible that some of that managed to bleed through?... yeah, probably not.
2195503 I think that's kinda sorta not allowed. I appreciate the offer, but you probably shouldn't.
2195589 Thanks for that! But about the 'keeping you waiting' bit... well, these chapters are going to take a long time. But there is a solution... more on that in a sec.
2197368 Thank you!
2199571 ... thank you? I'm guessing it's a compliment, but not a lot of context.
OK, about that solution thing... yes, these things take a long time to write. For what it's worth, Ch2 took LESS time than did Ch1, so I hope that 3 will continue the trend, but until it's published...
SIDE STORIES!
In a few days I'll be posting another 'story', wherein the chapters are short 'one-shots', so to speak. It's gonna deal with the Doctor adjusting to life in Ponyville, starting the TARDIS construction process, and other stuff too. Hopefully I'll be able to give more fanfic per month without actually making chapters take longer this way!
2199726 Just me being a fool. Other than that all I can say is that this is possibly the best Doctor Whooves, nay, THE best fic I have read.
2199726 An author actually responded to a comment I made...
The side stories idea sounds fantastic. I can't wait! Keep up the awesome!
2194313 I was also curious as to what soundtrack you were listing to.
2199726 Yes.
That was me being excited to read a new chapter.
Hmm! Good rules.
Wings, eh? Wonder if we'll get to see how the Doctor entered the Best Young Flier competition at some point.
Ground made of cymbals? Well, that explains the crash landing.
Also damn, those butterflies are dynamite.
Hehehe. The pear thing is always great. Have you noticed that John Smith does, in fact, eat one in the course of Human Nature?
"Giggle at the godling." I like it. On the other hand, the description of everypony laughing out loud could use some filling out, if only because it's hard to picture any more than a chuckle coming from Octavia of all ponies.
I'm really enjoying seeing Discord up against an enemy who actually knows what he's about. Seeing him willingly give up an unfair advantage is fun!
On the other hand, he seems to be keeping up quite well, given the circumstances.
Memory vomit. That's a new one. (I love the bit about the First Doctor immediately feeling everything he'd decided not to when confronted with leaving his granddaughter behind. That's very good.)
Ooh. Unable to fully separate his opponents, Discord has to use their actual bodies to turn them against each other. Looks like his real mistake was playing with strings against a unicorn whose special talent is music. Vinyl's been an obvious candidate for Laughter for a while now, but I think "Aww, can it be?" seals the deal.
Not the other deal, unfortunately.
Hopefully there'll be time for that later.
... Hmm. Not sure what Lyra's scene is about. Yet.
Derpy, though... Derpy can fly the TARDIS, and find her anywhere, and gets headaches the more she thinks about it. That's definitely going to come back to bite us- hopefully in a Professor Yana sort of way and not a Donna Noble sort of way.
"Molto bene!"
Don't. Just don't.
Damn, that is a vindictive god of chaos right there.
And... yep, it looks like despite appearances Bon Bon is just as messed up as any other pony who's undergone his particular brand of therapy. (I do think it's a bit much to call it "Discorded" in the story- that's a fanon term, like Mane Six. I will concede that it makes more sense for the characters to have come up with this one on their own, but using it and expecting anyone else to know what you mean right away still seems weird.)
Hmmm! Interesting character development there. I like it! And presumably this will let Bon Bon wield the Element of Honesty.
Anybody else hearing the Heavy's voice here?
Hmm. Lyra for Loyalty? Or Kindness? Still can't really tell.
And yet even Gallifrey and the Time War don't even make these ponies flinch. That is some impressive loyalty you inspire there, Doc. Or maybe it's just that anything Discord says is untrustworthy by association at best. Who knows?
"'these signs are only here for your convenience, and are not remotely suspicious'."
Okay, now it looks like shit just got real.
The sonic only works on technology? Don't be silly, Doctor. It works on all sorts of things. Barbed wire, for instance. And sound, which I think may be much more relevant when teaming with Vinyl. And Lyra, for that matter.
I think you mean to start with "bona fide".
... okay, so you made every one of those lectures sparkle. My hat's off to you, sir or madam. I had actually forgotten about Vinyl and Octavia's talk about money until the crucial moment. And in the end, I called... one and a half of them.
Damn. Element of Magic as Time Lord headdress? This needs fanart, ASAP.
And... wow. Even after Discord's been beaten, the story just keeps coming. I like that we get to see the aftereffects of his performance and the new element bearers' reactions to their new positions. It'll be interesting to see Octavia adjust to life in Ponyville, for one thing. Maybe you could work some of that into the side story?
And I for one can't wait to see where you'll be going next.
2200414 Again with the selected responses thing!
Yeah, it'll probably show up as a one-off gag - but wings will end up being more important than just that.
Good point there - I'll take a look and see what I can do.
But as for the more general point, about using mockery on Discord - honestly, I don't think he'd like people laughing at him. Hence why the Doctor made it a priority to do so as much as possible.
I thought of it more as Discord's mouth being like a giant screen, but... sure, memory vomit.
It was tough, figuring out exactly how Octavia should... well, make her 'deal' evident, but I figured Vinyl's exposition would suffice.
... you want Derpy to turn into the Master?
Another one of Discord's peeves - at least as far as I see it - is being tricked, which I think is made pretty clear in the chapter. As for calling it 'Discorded'... well, I think I had some of the characters call it brainwashing, some call it Discording. But yeah, I think it makes sense in the story, and should be fairly obvious in the context.
Funnily enough, I only realized that it was a potential TF2 reference AFTER I wrote it. By then, I figured it was too good to waste.
Daleks - even illusory ones - will do that for a story.
Actually, I did mean to start with bonified. Bona fide is pronounced differently, and it doesn't match with the others. (And yes, it's a pun.)
Making the lectures 'sparkle' was tough, and I wasn't sure I'd managed it, but I'm glad you think I did. And I'm glad I managed to keep you guessing about the associations.
I'd love to see that! It was fun to figure out the modified Elements of Harmony. The Time Lord headdress and Derpy's cascade were more obvious, but coming up with the other four was a bit tough. I did find out what a torc is, though!
Well, I couldn't just stop the story with Discord's defeat - that might be the climax, but there's still a denouement to think about. Hence all the details wrapping up (The Doctor meeting Celestia and Luna for (his) first time, Octavia's apartment, and the megaparty). As for Octavia adapting to Ponyville... well, I'll see what I can do.
Well, I hope you've gotten a pretty good hint from the next chapter's title.
Thanks for all the comments, guys! Keep 'em coming!
Okay.
Seeing as I have been asked twice now for the soundtrack. I hate to say this, but I do not know the exact songs that were playing, I think it was after the Christmas Specials, all I know is, when they were playing, it was down right perfect for when I read it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPGuBtsrJjU&playnext=1&list=PLB0FE99112CBD4171&feature=results_main
There you go, the link to the entire playlist I was listening to during the adventure. Hope that helps you all, and once again. Awesome story, good work. And great characterizations, I look forward to the side stories you mentioned.
2201134 Thank you very much. I'm off to go listen!
2200749
Well, hey, you're the one who asked for it. The first one, to be honest. I'd be a little ashamed if I didn't deliver.
The new series has shown us two different root causes for the symptoms Derpy's displaying here. One is "you're a Time Lord after chameleonarch therapy and if you remember who you are you'll wake up"; the other is "you used to be a human-Time Lord metacrisis and if you remember who you are you'll die". While the Master is the only non-Doctor case we've seen in canon, he's also a rather extreme edge case within the overall set of possibilities, so I would prefer the former fate for Derpy.
The TF2 thing is especially great because the line is being spoken by a character with an established talent for voice mimicry, hehe.
Mentioning the modified Elements again... I'm not sure I like the idea of all the gems having changed colors. In the opening of Friendship is Magic part 1, the five Elements seen are green, light blue, violet, red, and light yellow, and when Twilight and friends become their bearers, they keep those colors regardless of the cutie mark their shapes change to match- the Element of Generosity doesn't turn blue to match Rarity's cutie mark, for instance; it remains purple as before. (Interestingly, the Elements of Honesty and Kindness seem to be more sensitive than the others- Applejack's element is an orange apple with a green stem rather than fully green, and Fluttershy's is a pink butterfly despite how well a yellow one would have matched.) We have seen differently-colored Elements, but only due to the cutie mark switching spell miscast in Magical Mystery Cure- in the wake of the gang exchanging cutie marks and apparent destinies, the Elements changed to match, producing torcs whose gems had the color of one pony, but the cutie mark shape of the pony who now played the former's role- a purple apple for Applejack-in-Carousel-Boutique, a light blue butterfly for Fluttershy-in-Sugar-Cube-Corner, a red diamond for Rarity-on-weather-patrol, an orange balloon for Pinkie Pie-at-Sweet-Apple-Acres, and a pink lightning bolt for Rainbow Dash-tending-to-animals.
That paragraph got much more complicated while I was in the process of researching the topic, but the general point is this: maybe you should take into account the original colors of the gems and how they've changed in the past, rather than just having all six change to match their owners perfectly. Just a thought. Also is anyone else intrigued by the fact that no Elements of Harmony merchandise exists?
2204655
So, each point in turn:
Okay, now that I see what you mean... I can say no more on this topic. Spoilers!
Huh, never thought of it that way.
I see where you're coming from on this one, and I did hesitate on doing the color changes. Eventually, though, I figured that if I was altering the look of the Elements of Harmony, I'd probably be fine changing their colors too. (Also, that approach would have - for example - left Derpy with green pearls, which frankly look kind of ugly.)
(Oh, and PS: I didn't mean for 'the selected responses thing' to sound rude or anything, and I am very grateful for your input.)
I have traveled through a sea of migraines and a storm of midterms, but I've finally arrived here to leave my comment for the ficreading coordination service.
To start off let me just say that this story was not an easy read. The main reason for this is it’s not friendly to the uninitiated, like me who don’t know anything about the Dr. Who series. While this is something that can be improved upon it’s not necessary since this is a crossover. Meaning most people who actually take a look at this story have at least an idea of what Dr. Who is.
It might have been my migraines affecting me, but I felt that some parts of the story were to long without much reason and seemingly important parts that seem to be rushed.
Moving past this I don’t have much else to say. It’s well written, has good grammar, and the transitions despite being jumpy make sense because it’s Discord. I’m sure if I had some more background knowledge on Dr. Who I would have enjoyed reading this more. If I ever get the time to watch the series I‘ll see if I can't give this story another read.
Our lawyers say all of my "YES! YES!".
HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE?! 22,000 WORDS A CHAPTER?! YOU ARE BLOODY MAD IN A GOOD WAY!!!
Okay, so my story apparently gained four new chapters! Well, I should explain... after quite a lot of resistance on my part, I've finally decided to break the chapters up into three parts each. Still the same amount of story, just more chapters.
Also, I've made substantial edits to the beginning of Chapter 1 - almost to the point of a rewrite. This is mainly due to two reasons:
- 1: I was never really happy with my writing for that part - it was the first part I wrote, after all, and my inexperience showed (to me, at least).
- 2: In the old version, the Canterlot Sculpture Garden is well outside of Canterlot. It's a staggering geographic blunder that I can't believe I made in the first place.
Anyway, enjoy!
>Doesn't update in forever.
>Posts five relatively hefty chapters all at once.
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