The Toa of ice, Matoro has just died to save the universe. Unfortunetly, what he thought would be a peaceful death turns into a visit to a strange new world inhabited by small, organic, talking rahi. After some complications involving Brutaka, the other Toa Mahri end up here on a 'rescue mission'. They have to adapt until Brutaka can open up another portal.
Until something goes wrong...
Now the Toa and ponies have to find the ones who dissapeared all the while the Makuta are hunting them.
But what if there is more that one Makuta in the land of Equestria?
Chapters (13)
ok, this time i going to be serious, please tell me about any errors you spot in this. i DO NOT want to repeat the failure of Blnding darkness
. this one has no OC! all these guys are REAL!
1373777 I shall give this story a fair chance, so far it's proven a little interesting.
This site needs more bionicle crossovers, thank you for delivering
Now all we need is a phantoka crossover and we'll be set
What a twist!
So discord knows the Makuta. Well this got interesting.
this brings back so many memorys(spelled right?) matoro was one of my favorites. for some reason just reading it makes me want to
i think it's just because i'm wierd
my reaction
enjoy.
i could'nt find the original version
up next, fun with Rahkshi
i
BIONICLE good story
So far things are getting interesting.
Just on a side note, Vorahk, the weakening rahkshi, needs direct contact for his staff to work, he can not shot a beam.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you SO MUCH
In the next chapter, can you describe the toa's
Apperance's through the eyes of some of the ponies?
To give sort of a unique view
Keep up the excellent work! Your going a great job, don't let anyone tell you
Otherwise
perfect...
two in one day? wow... i'm on a roll.
This is turning out to be a good fic.
yes. just, yes
Well... didn't see that coming, but it does make sense that Discord is a Makuta.
Does this mean we'll be seeing kopaka,lewa, and Pohatu?
1444092
sadly, no. it woulden't make sence if the Toa nuva showed up. besides, i don't wan't the Makuta to be too outnumbered. gotta keep things fair.
you know, for the Makuta.
1446513 that's alright. Maybe when the time comes you could write a phantoka/mistika crossover?
1446635
maybe *sniff* maybe...
i humbly ask anyone to point out any mistakes if found in this
Are you going to bring in Roodaka?
1594951
how would roodaka get here?
in this story, Equestria is one of the shatered fragments of spherous magna.
and besides, this is durring the time where the toa mahri are just... gone. and the federation of fear is doing stuff.
Alright, I just finished what you have so far. I have one complaint, don't be afraid to describe things, even if they're kind of gritty. Give it a little flourish, use similes, metaphors, alliteration. While I love the idea and the general story, this feels dry. Hell, you could have squeezed an entire chapter out of Hali and Vamprah's battle if you had blow-for-blow described it. To use a metaphor myself. It sort of feels like I'm watching a slideshow with subtitles, the trick with writing is to make it seem more like a movie in words. If you have any questions on how to do this most effectively I would be happy to help, all you need to do is ask.
When will the first official chapter be up?
I WANT TO SEE MATORO!
1996007
i can put it up whenever.
but it'll be completely unedited.
do you really want that?
Makuta can make friends if they want to. They're not emotionless, just messed up in the head.
Makuta you son of a bitch you are my favorite bionicle villain of all time
Turahk is best rahkshi
I think it might sound better if Celestia said: So... you are Matoro.
Mata Nui is always capatalized on both words.
Pinkie wearing the Mask of Quick Travel??? Seems fair enough (although it's limited teleportation)
2143701
Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to be in this story; at least, not yet.
8551618
HOLY GOD SOMEONE REPLIED TO THIS AGE OLD COMMENT? Huh. Neat.
8551624
Well, I just discovered this story, so I wouldn't have found this comment until now.
Oh no! This is bad!