Sketching a Plan
Canterlot Statue Gardens was a marvelous place to take in the scenery. Statues here, statues there, statues everywhere! Some were historic. Some were symbolic. Some were too life-like to be true. Most of the statues were carved. But some…were different. Different…in a way that is said to be a mystery. On this day, in Canterlot a certain statue was shifting, slowly but surely. And that’s where our story begins:
“Hey, Copper Helmet!” one guard said to the other, smiling brightly.
Copper Helmet looked at the other guard, “Yes, Shimmer Shield?” he said, wearing a solemn expression on his face.
Shimmer Shield puffed out his chest, “I am getting a promotion!” he said, grinning widely, which annoyed Copper.
Copper’s mouth melted into a frown, “How did you get a promotion?” he said sternly.
“Well, Princess Celestia decided that I was an excellent guard. I get to guard the castle gates now!” Shimmer boasted. “That’s awesome, isn’t it?”
Copper groaned and stared at one of the statues.
Shimmer tapped him on the shoulder, “Well?”
Copper turned back to Shimmer, and carefully punctuating each word he said, “I. Don’t. Care.”
Shimmer’s face became cross, “Why not?” he said, staring straight into Copper’s green eyes. “Wouldn’t you like it if you got promoted?”
“YES, AND I DESERVED IT MORE THAN YOU!” Copper pounded the ground with his hoof.
Shimmer’s face reddened, “No, you doze off every time it’s your watch! You can’t be trusted!”
*Crack.*
Neither one seemed to notice the odd noise, but kept on arguing. Shimmer threw one insult. Copper flung back another. It went on for quite a while. But the noise continued to increase in volume. Finally, the two came to a conclusion.
“YOU’RE THE WORST FRIEND EVER! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”
“FINE!” Shimmer stormed off to Celestia knows where.
Copper pounded his hoof on the ground and left, too. Leaving a huge grudge weighing him down.
*Crack…* All of a sudden…
*Kaboom* A sort of explosion was heard, making stones fall everywhere. One of the statues had mysteriously exploded. When the dust cleared, a strange creature was standing were the statue used to be. He let out a low chuckle.
“BAM!” he said, pretending his curious lion-paw-look-alike was a pistol, he blew on his claw. “I’m back, Equestria! WHOO!” he jumped up in the air, flapping his two wings that were completely unalike.
“Who’s there?” came a cry from one of the guards. The creature halted.
“What shall I do?” he thought feverishly, “Think, Discord, think!” he knocked his lion paw on his head.
“Show yourself!” the guard’s voice was closer, now.
Discord bit his lip and looked around. A hedge caught his eye; “Aha!” he scampered into it, making sure to hide every inch of himself. Noticing the remains of the exploded statue, he quickly put them together like puzzle pieces, and placed them carefully on their former spot. He smiled deviously.
The guard was now in plain sight, Discord peered out of his hiding place.
“Hello?” the guard said, searching the area. “Is anypony there?” the guard gazed up at the statue. “Huh.” He said, turning around. “Guess not.” The sentry walked back to his place.
Discord shrunk back further into his hiding place and looked up. He could see glistening rays of sun peering into the bush. “Hmm…” he thought. “Freedom would be nice, for a change.” He chuckled softly, “I sure have earned it.” He spread his wings and prepared to take off when-.
“La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la…!” a singing filled his ears, he knew that voice. It was stuck in his memory like wood in a fireplace. He listened closer.
“Pinkie?” he turned around and squinted out of the bush. His ears didn’t deceive him, “Pinkie!” he said, preparing to jump out of the bush. “Wait…” he stopped himself. “I’m a draconiques…And she knows me. I should get a disguise.” He thought for a moment, “Aha!” he said snapping his eagle claw. “I’ll change into a pony!” he thought for another moment, “An Alicorn!” he closed his eyes and began to feel a tingling sensation all over, he opened one eye and discovered a strange bright light all around him. He smiled.
In a few moments, he felt the need to open his eyes. He did so and looked down. “Hooves!” he grinned, “It worked! Now I can say hey to Pinkie!” he crawled out of his bush and looked around, he noticed a small fountain of water and walked over to it. He stared at his reflection and smirked.
Discord was now a brown Alicorn, with a black mane that stood up straight. “Just like my mane as a draconiques!” he pondered. He had the same eyes, and his goat beard remained, he was quite pleased about that. His paws were replaced with hooves, which he found surprisingly easy to walk on. He turned to view his cutie mark. Then he laughed. “Heh. It’s a deck of cards.” He mumbled, looking at it in his reflection. “Well, don’t I look spiffy!” He smirked and turned around.
“Pinkie Pie?” he looked around. Not seeing her, he spread his glossy Alicorn wings and flew upwards. He could see much more of the area up there. Reaching a cloud, he landed on it and began to look around. He didn’t see her. “Huh. Guess I was imagining it. Still it’d be nice to see her again…” he sat on that thought for a few moments. “And that’s what I’ll do! Ponyville, watch out ‘cause here I come!”
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Like the idea, but seems..rushed
needs 2 be longer
good start, can turn into a great story!
1379075
Tsk, tsk...rushed. Yeah, I kinda put it all together in a few days...seems longer when you write it then when you read it...
1379355
I'm on it. More to come!
1379665
It better! I sure love DisPie!
1380146
What i meant by rushed was in the second chapter, he breaks out (Thats ok) But he's already meet pinkie? That's really quick.
If i was writing it (This is a personal opinion, so go ahead and disagree) Chapter 2 would have him breaking out, fearing the elements and trying to avioid detection.
Ch3. Relising chances to be hidden is to use magic to disguide himeslf. His hunger for revenge building.
Ch4. Heads to PV to get revenge. (That's all i've got off the top of me head)
The idea ETC. Is good, but the actually strory line is basically handed to us on a golden platter.
Just some thoughts i had. No offense intended, just wihsing to help
-Shadow
1380170
But...it's kinda late to change it...
Yeah....I do feel I rushed it. And I like your layout!
Chapter 2 in a jiffy!
I know how that feels when you write a chapter that takes you a while but is somehow rushed. For me it's because I type at like 30 words per minute if I know exactly what I want to write and then I can read at 300 words per minute no joke. Not bad at all, will keep reading
His first mistake was choosing an Alicorn to be his alter ego - considering that there aren't many of those around, much less male ones. But so far this seems like a fun story. :3
Shimmer’s face became cross, “Why not?” he said, staring straight into Copper’s green eyes. “Wouldn’t you like it if you got promoted?”
“YES, AND I DESERVED IT MORE THAN YOU!” Copper pounded the ground with his hoof.
There it is that's all he needed is a ponies arguing with each other would triggered him out of there
Something tells me those guys are going to get fired or get in trouble
“I’m a draconiques…And she knows me. I should get a disguise.” He thought for a moment, “Aha!” he said snapping his eagle claw. “I’ll change into a pony!” he thought for another moment, “An Alicorn!” he closed his eyes and began to feel a tingling sensation all over, he opened one eye and discovered a strange bright light all around him. He smiled.
I feel like that's not a good idea to transform yourself into an Alicorn because when that race a lot of suspicious since there's not that many Alicorns out there Discord
Well I basically see that coming not only that the Royal Guards really mess up they let their emotions got the best of them and letting Discord free since all it needs is a argument and he will be free and Discord didn't know what to do next until he thought he heard Pinkie Pie but it was probably a random Pony but that is one thing he'll probably will go Ponyville with a disguise as a pony
Wow, Discord, really inconspicuous disguise there 😄