Time and Time Again

by Kawa

Guidelines

Another week after the first set of trial runs, Vic had managed to produce the values that were supposed to take him several years into the past. He had a plan, you see, to get first-hoof accounts of specific important events, and to compare them against those described in the books of recent history. He had copied several important events to a smallish notebook with a pleasing blue color that seemed appropriate at the time, estimated how far back exactly he had to go to witness the first major event… all was in place for Operation: Revisionist History.

The first thing Vic did when he arrived a respectable distance from Ponyville was collapse.

“Ten minutes is nothing”, Vic wheezed. “Several years, though? I can only hope it gets easier with practice…”

Jennie, not having expended a single thaum¹, was much more chipper. “So is this Ponyville when all the cool stuff happened? Or is that happens? Will have been happening?”

She slid over to Vic’s prone form with all the grace of a drunken ballerina. “Do you think we’ll meet Granny, Vicky? I wonder if she’s any different!”

Vic groaned as he waited for his magical powers to build up again. “You just might, hon. I would rather you do not let her see you, though. Help me up?”

Jennie bit into the collar of Vic’s jacket and obliged. “I suppose I ought to lay down some ground rules for you to follow. Actually, for both of us.”

“What’s that?” Jennie asked as she followed her favorite unicorn to the outskirts of Ponyville.

“I just thought they would be the smarter things to do, but basically? Do not get involved in anything you see. If you do get involved, you might change things and I for one would rather not recall into some sort of dystopia where Her Royal Highness is some sort of malevolent dictator or something.”

“Would that bad future involve bananas?”

“… Yeah, sure. Why not? You know how I feel about bananas.”

Jennie giggled at the mental image of her queen wearing some stupid green military dress coat and cap, brandishing a banana in a vaguely threatening manner. And sunglasses.

“Second, if you really, really want to get involved with what seems like a minor event, do your best to have as little impact as possible. Play to lose, for example. But do not be too obvious.”

“Yeah, I can do that, I think… what’s next?”

“When a major event is about to happen, basically… stay out of sight. Let events unfold as if you were not there in the first place. That is, after all, why we are here, is it not?”

Jennie nodded. By then, the two had reached their destination, and at Vic’s silent suggestion, took place in a secluded corner.

Do you think we’ll meet Granny?

The words echoed through Vic’s mind, slightly distracting him from soaking up the atmosphere of the quiet-but-soon-to-be-less-so town. In the distance, he spotted Sugar Cube Corner, and immediately noticed several subtle differences. From a closer vantage point, Vic considered, they would probably be somewhat less subtle. He was, in fact, paying so much attention to the higher parts of the building that he failed to notice the front door opening. Jennie’s words sounded in Vic’s mind once more. He closed his eyes for a moment to shake off the vague feeling of dread.

When he opened his eyes again, he immediately regretted everything he had done so far.

“HI! My name is Pinkie Pie and I know everypony in Ponyville but I don’t know you yet so that must mean you’re new here and wow I really like your mane and hey that lady next to you standing there like GASP kinda reminds me of myself but how silly is that? I mean I’ve seen a lot of silly stuff but I’ve never seen another pony with a color scheme so close to mine so what’s the story behind that?”

When Vic had processed what Pinkie Pie had said, his first instinct was to pull her into the nearest alley.

“Miss Pie?” Vic asked in a low whisper.

“Yeeeeeeees?”

“Can you promise us something? And not say a word until I give the okay?”

Pinkie Pie nodded. “Mmhm?”

“Listen very carefully, for I will say this only once. My marefriend and I are visitors from the near future…”

Jennie gasped again. After that whole spiel about not revealing yourself, Vic had done just that!?

“I know you would’ve figured out as much if you set your mind to it for just ten seconds, because you are Pinkie Pie and you are and will be notorious for that sort of thing. In fact, I might as well come clear and admit that the single reason the lady looks like you is because she is your direct descendant.”
It was Pinkie’s turn to gasp, though she made a visible effort to do so in an appropriately silent manner.

“I am certain you could guess my lineage with a second glance, but the important thing is that you must not, under any circumstance, reveal our presence or identities to anypony else. We are here for historical research, which would be next to impossible if we were to make our presence known. Do you follow so far?”

Pinkie rapidly nodded.

“Excellent. Now, I am familiar with how serious you take your promises, so I am going to ask that you Pinkie Promise™ not to reveal us, or even acknowledge us as time travelers. If you must interact with us, just… pretend we were always here, okay?”

“Was that the okay?” Pinkie whispered back.

“… Yes, I suppose that was the okay,” Vic sighed and released his marefriend’s ancestor so she could go through the motions. To her credit, Pinkie Pie managed to keep to a whisper all throughout.

“Wait. If I’m supposed to pretend you were already here, does that mean you don’t want a welcome to Past Ponyville party?” Pinkie asked halfway through turning back out of the alley.

“Sharp.”

When Pinkie had left on her merry pronking way, Jennie turned to Vic.

“What were you thinking, telling Granny all that stuff?!”

“Like I said, she is Pinkie Pie. She would have figured it out eventually, and you know how she is with secrets and Pinkie Promises™.”

“Oh okay. So where do we go now?”

“I think a small, inconspicuous campsite near the Everfree would do for now”, Vic considered. “Ponies do not like to come near, after all. Just have to make sure we do not pick a spot close to where the events occur. First one should be some time… tomorrow.”

“Hey, Vicky?”

“Yes, Jennie dear?”

“How do you do that thing with the trademark?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about”, Vic answered with a smarmy grin.

Author's Note:

The thaum is a unit of magical energy roughly equivalent to the power required for a being of Celestia’s level to lift a single ordinary billiard ball from the ground to precisely ten hands, or 1.016 meters high, assuming no effort at all on Celestia’s part. For Pyrrhic Victory, this task is 7.1 times as difficult, and for Twilight Sparkle, when not in a Superpower Meltdown, 5.2 times. How difficult it is for Twilight Sparkle when she is having a meltdown is too dangerous to attempt to measure. Pegasi and earth ponies exude less-than-one levels of magic energy, although their output may spike significantly when in flight or working the land, respectively.

Adapted from Measuring the Magic by Pyrrhic Victory, Canterlot University Press.