• Member Since 29th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen May 19th

Hoosier Brony


E

This is the tale of a Pegasus who gets cursed by Nightmare Moon to never die. He learns that the problems with being immortal quickly outweigh the benefits.

Chapters (20)
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Comments ( 29 )

Oh, don't know who Rapid Quill is? He's an OC from Writer's Block...

Interesting. I'm not into this enough to follow it, but it's written wall so take a like.

I dunno where you're going with this but... yeah, ain't badly written. Here's a like.

-Chessie

i like it i'll follow it and like at the same time :twilightsmile:

Thanks everyone for the support.

nice very good hope more show up soon:twilightsmile:

It's supreme, it's godlike, it's pretty gooooooood. -Leo

Words can never describe the feeling I feel seeing 500 views on this story. Thank you all for your support...Thank you

:pinkiecrazy: a curse on your evil cliffhangers my friend! :pinkiehappy:

Wow...just wow everyone. I post a new chapter, go to sleep, and wake up with almost 200 more total views...I wanted to put together some thought-provoking "thank you 1000 views" comment...instead you get this. Thank you, thank you all for your continued interest in this story.

this is getting more and more epic! XD
cant wait for next chapter!

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
:pinkiegasp:

(Joke) Alt. Title: Forever's A Long Time, But This Fiction's Even Longer

*gasp!* once you "finish" rapid quills story you should have them find out that Beaming Justice is actually Rapid Quill himself and that his story that he wrote was actually how he became immortal.

1810808

Close, but you'll see. I have ideas... :pinkiehappy:

Huzzah!! I'm so sorry for the delay, but the story lives and will continue.

I'm surprised Twilight hasn't complained about the slight historical inaccuracy of having this story take place in Canterlot rather than the actual Castle of the two pony sisters.

6160581

Fair point. Now to be extremely fair, wait until the next chapter, where the setting will change a little, and also recognize that at the time of this chapter's inception, all I was aware of was there was a Castle of the Pony Sisters in ruins in the Everfree Forest and a Canterlot location as well, and not the history of the two. :pinkiehappy:

I'm glad that someone is reading into the story for inaccuracies though. :raritywink: Thanks for the feedback.

This chapter kind of bothers me. A former royal guard gets his butt beat and he makes plenty of rudimentary mistakes that should have been drilled out of him. Further he has centuries of experience that also include adventuring which would include real practical fights. I don't buy him losing like this unless he allowed himself to get ridiculously rusty. I further have problem with the amount of noise he was making in the forest unless you showed that he was purposely doing it or had never been in a forest before for any reason when he was in the military or adventuring. Then again, he was supposed to have trained his people for ANY environment and situation. That should have easily included stealth ops in forest environments.

A trained soldier who was supposed to be the top of his game and one of the best in history losing like this also adds to the stretching of my suspension of disbelief. I guess, overall, the chapter felt like one of the weaker ones in this story. The romance also feels like it's out of left field. Centuries old makes me question this.

I want to like this but I can't. The last three chapters feel like you were quill and just trying to get through them. You have rapid time skips that are not clearly visually marked and just suddenly happen. Further, as I've stated before, there are just parts of this story that don't ring true to me or seemed pointless. What was the point of the argument about Justice still loving Luna. Also, if justice still loves Luna, wouldn't he want the extension to still be with her and not leave her alone? The story is ok, definitely not one I would down vote but it just didn't have that magic pull that made me smile, go that was awesome or make me think, "I must show this story to others."

I do not regret the time I spent reading this story.
Beginning may be was a bit weak, but second half made up for it and more!

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