Recoiling from the death of his mother, Finn is a shy, nervous man whos life is punctuated by work, being bullied by his older brother, smoking pot and watching My Little Pony with his beloved Pinkie Pie Plushie. Things appear to suck for this man until his plushie comes to life and teaches him about the magic of friendship and the power of a smile!
(Credit to Cold Blitzfor editing!)
No one will dislike this.... I WILL RESTORE THE FUCKING BALANCE!!!! *like*
I dunno... the concept is somewhat interesting, but it's set up almost exactly like brony-in-Equestria buildup, shitty treatment of the protagonist and all, and there are too many grammar errors for me to properly get myself into the story.
This story has great potential here, but before you gotta fix these:
>Wall of Text
Ex:
>Spacing
Ex:
> Capitalization
Examples:
> Extra Errors:
Going to use a common system for these.
Green means something I added to the paragraph
Red means a pronunciation mistake
Red with Cross means something that you don't need
Yellow means a capitalization mistake
Blue or [color=cyan[Cyan means a comma I added
Need more help? You can do the following:
> Contact a Pre-reader
> Contact a Editor
> Find a editing program ( Microsoft Word )
> PM me if you want me to edit your story
|Cold Blitz|, TWE's Med Tempered dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png
Hey, I have just riffed this story for Carts' Unicorn Theater! This is a show where I take fan-fictions and insert my own lines of witty dialogue in between the lines. It's sort of like Mystery Science Theater 3000, if you've ever seen that. Obviously it's all in good taste, and there's no harm intended
You can find the riff here
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1V9A6dcloLZeqhyhgznYXgHgHX2iCf6V6tg_g8qcLOe4/edit?usp=sharing
You can find more of my riffs here
http://mlpmst.weebly.com/carts-unicorn-theater.html
2710393 That riff was good, kinda enjoyed it. And yes, I did edit this story for the most part, but I stopped doing so at the second chapter... let's say for some personal reasons of mine. In any case, continue your riffing!
2710393
That was fucking awesome.
I probably would have been outraged about it ten years ago, so im glad I just saw it now. Just to clarify, I am now a 27 year old trans woman who vigorously opposes racism and has also been sober from alcohol and marijuana for over thirty days!
God this story is such an amazing monument to teenage stupidity and resentment. In spite of my shame, I am happy you made something awesome with it.
I hope the story was so stupid that said racism and sexism didn't hurt anybody, but if it did, I apologize.
I cried laughing at this brilliant commentary. If I wasn't so ashamed of the shitty, racist, misogynist story I made when I was 17 I would be sharing it everywhere lmao.