Dozing Off
Twilight Sparkle yawned, shutting the latest dusty tome she’d been reading. It was a thick, heavy, grey book she’d found while browsing the Canterlot library earlier that evening, and she simply couldn't put it down. How could anypony simply refrain from reading a book about Princess Celestia's early years from cover to cover? Any knowledge about her mentor was something to be read immediately, no matter the cost.
It turned out the cost in this particular instance was sleep, but Twilight hadn’t found that out yet. She gave another yawn and used her magic to put the book back in its proper spot on the library shelf.
"Well, that was a pretty interesting book," she muttered to herself, "but I think I gotta go to bed now if I'm going to be well rested for my classes tomorrow."
As the tired unicorn gathered up her study materials, she heard the single most horrifying noise that she could have imagined at that moment: the crow of the rooster. With a yelp of shock, Twilight bolted towards the nearest clock and looked at the time. Holy Celestia, it was seven-thirty! The purple unicorn gave another yelp, she’d sat in the library reading all night! Her first class started in half an hour and she hadn't gotten a wink of sleep.
"No time for petty things like sleep, Twilight!" she said to herself as she ran out of the library. "School comes first!"
Twilight zoomed out of the library at ludicrous speeds. Her saddlebag bounced, causing minor pain with each step when the heavy books that populated it smacked against her stomach. However, if she was going to ignore sleep then she was certainly going to ignore pain! There was no time to dwell on such things, she had to get to class now!
Being a student in Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns was not a privilege she took for granted. She knew that if it wasn't for that mysterious rainbow explosion, she wouldn't have even gotten into it in the first place. Twilight wasn't about to abuse the privilege gifted to her by being even a minute late to any class. She knew what happened if ponies didn't take their studies in school seriously: they were expelled and banished from Canterlot forever! Or at least, that's what she thought she heard somewhere.
She burst into her classroom and zoomed towards her desk, drawing stares from the ponies who were already sitting quietly in their own seats. She eased into her assigned spot and placed her saddlebag on the floor next to her. Using her magic she took a notebook, quill, and ink out of her saddlebag and promptly placed them on her desk. Her head shot up to look at the clock and she breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was only seven fifty-seven, she wasn't late! She wouldn't have to be banished from Canterlot forever, hooray!
One of her classmates who occupied the desk next to her looked quizzically at Twilight and leaned over. "Are you okay, Twilight?" she asked.
Twilight allowed herself a small grin. "Yes, yes I am," she said, "I was just worried that I'd be late for class, that's all."
Her classmate rolled her eyes. "You've never been late for class in your entire academic career," she deadpanned, "I think if you completely missed a class you'd get some grace because of how good of a student you are."
Twilight's eyes widened and her head vigorously shook. "Oh no, that would be an absolutely terrible thing!" she said earnestly, "do you know what happens to unicorns in this school that miss classes? They—"
"Have you been having that 'banished from Canterlot' delusion again?" her classmate asked.
Before Twilight could answer, the teacher walked into the classroom. The whole class immediately quieted down and snapped to attention. "Good morning, class," said their teacher, a middle-aged unicorn mare with a gray coat and mane, a horn emanating light as a cutie mark, and a perpetual stern look.
"Good morning, Ms. Squitz," chanted the class.
Ms. Squitz briefly organized some papers on her desk before turning towards the class and levitating a piece of chalk. "I trust that you all read chapters five and six for today's lesson?" she said. Twilight nodded vigorously. She had, in fact, read the whole book three times and frankly could have taught the class herself with all of the knowledge she had absorbed from it. "Good, so then you are all familiar on some level with Star Swirl the Bearded's basic theories on the mathematics and physics involved in the basic levitation spell?"
Twilight nodded vigorously once more as she dipped her quill into the inkwell and began copying the notes that her teacher was putting on the chalkboard.
However, as she continued writing she began to notice something rather odd. Her magic seemed to be sputtering out and her quill was moving along at a slower and slower rate as the seconds ticked by. She looked at her quill curiously, but she discovered that her eyelids were slowly becoming heavier as well. She snapped them open and frowned at herself.
"You can't go to sleep right now, Twilight," she muttered to herself, "rest when class is over and you've finished all of your work." However, the monotonous ramblings of her teacher combined with the warm temperature in the classroom meant that Twilight was having more and more problems staying awake. It was as if the sandpony himself was stroking her mane and gently whispering in her ear to go to sleep. It was certainly a tempting idea.
"Can't... fall... as—" Twilight closed her eyes for a brief moment before she heard the most unusual noise: a trumpet was playing somewhere in the classroom. Twilight turned her head to see... her normal class. She turned back to the teacher confusedly. Where had the trumpet noise come from?
No matter, she needed to focus on taking notes, not the source of strange music. Somepony was probably just practicing something. Yeah, that was it. She was just hearing somepony practicing a trumpet in the music room.
A few more minutes passed by and Twilight felt her eyelids growing very heavy once more. She shook her head and tried to shake the sleepiness from her brain. She needed to focus on her teacher who...who suddenly had a red mane? That wasn't right at all! Twilight shook her head once more and rubbed her temples. Thankfully, it seemed she had just dozed off again as her teacher's mane had returned to its normal color.
"You can't fall asleep, Twilight," she groaned. "You can't fazhpuh... no, sleep jussttt focusssss on your class and teacher..."
Twilight noticed her eyes getting heavy again and discovered that each time she blinked, her eyes remained closed for longer periods of time.
However, before she completely dozed off, she heard the trumpet again, only this time it seemed as if it was right next to her head. She bolted upright with a loud yell. "Can't go to sleep!" However, she suddenly noticed that the room was very quiet, something that confused her. Shouldn't her teacher be lecturing or something? She looked around to see everypony in the room staring confusedly at her. She flattened her ears and blushed a little.
"Is something wrong Ms. Sparkle?" her teacher asked sternly.
Twilight responded with a nervous laugh. "No, nothing at all," mumbled Twilight.
"I see," said her teacher stiffly before turning back to the chalkboard, "as I was saying, it is important to have a basic understanding of Star Swirl's theories in this matter if one is to truly master illegal black magic. One cannot hope to control the minds of other ponies unless one is sufficiently skilled in this area."
Twilight flinched back and blinked a few times. What did she just say? Did she just say that she was going to teach them illegal black magic? Wasn't illegal black magic... well, illegal? Against her better judgment she slowly raised her hoof in the air.
"Yes, Ms. Sparkle?" asked Ms. Squitz.
Twilight shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Did you say... illegal black magic?" Her class giggled around her.
"Of course I did," snapped Ms. Squitz, "haven't you been paying attention?"
"Well—"
Ms. Squitz rolled her eyes. "Would somepony please fill Ms. Sparkle in on what we've been discussing?"
One of her fellow students raised a hoof and Ms. Squitz pointed to him. "We've been continuing our lecture on the art of war and how black magic is a necessary means to the end of combat and the facilitation of peace."
"Very good, Shrubby," said Ms. Squitz, "are you caught up now, Ms. Sparkle?"
Twilight could hardly believe her ears. "War and black magic?! But... but..."
"What is the problem with that?" her teacher asked. "We've been on this unit for several weeks now."
"N...No we've been talking about levitation and—" Her words were cut short by another round of giggling from her class as the teacher glared at her.
"What is the matter with you, child?" she growled. "Have you not paid attention to a single thing I've said this whole semester?"
"I have!" said Twilight earnestly, "But—"
"If you don't want to pay attention then maybe you'd better leave my class," said Ms. Squitz.
"But--"
"Yeah!" jeered another one of her classmates. "Maybe you'd better leave!"
"Who lets an Earth Pony into a school like this anyway?" asked another.
"Earth Pony?!" said Twilight hysterically, "I'm not an Earth Pony, I'm a unicorn!" Her class laughed at her some more.
"Stop laughing!"
"It doesn't matter if you are a unicorn anyway," said another classmate, "this is a school for pegasi!"
"Pega—"
"She'd better not look down," mumbled a classmate. As much as her instincts told her to not look down, Twilight looked and saw that her desk was perched on a large cloud. She yelped and stood up on her desk, knocking her inkwell over where it spilled on the floor.
"Now look at what you've done!" cried her teacher who had suddenly sprouted wings. "You've spilled the lifeblood of the creator!"
"What?"
Her teacher flew over to the spilled pool of ink and did her best to scoop it back into the jar while muttering "I'm so sorry o creator, do not smite us where we stand, do not punish us for her insolence!"
"What is the matter with everypony today?!" said Twilight.
Her teacher immediately flew back to the front of the class and the entire classroom settled down. Ms. Squitz glared at Twilight. "If you do not wish to help us, you are our enemy. I am afraid that I must give you an F in this course, Ms. Sparkle. I do not tolerate poor performances in my classroom."
Twilight's jaw dropped and she slid back down into her chair. "What?!"
Before her teacher could respond, the door to the classroom opened and Princess Celestia herself walked into the room. Twilight gasped and gave a large grin. "Princess Celestia!" said Twilight happily. "Thank goodness you're here, they've all gone mad! She's trying to teach us illegal magic!"
Princess Celestia and Ms. Squitz exchanged confused looks before turning back to Twilight. "Illegal magic? Why whatever are you talking about, Twilight?" asked Celestia.
"Mind control magic was just made legal ten minutes ago, haven't you been listening?" said Ms. Squitz.
"Maybe she is a bad student," said Princess Celestia grimly.
"NO!" said Twilight, "I'm a good student, I'll pay attention! I'll do the mind control spells if you want me to!"
Twilight saw Princess Celestia's mouth begin moving once more, but she only heard the sounds of a banjo playing a furious tune from her mouth. Well, it was either coming out of her mouth, or playing so loud that it was drowning out whatever she was saying.
"What?!" yelled Twilight, "I can't hear you!"
"Ms. Sparkle, I am tired of these constant disruptions," said Ms. Squitz, "if you cannot understand Princess Celestia, then maybe you just need to bzzbrbzzzouuuuuouuuuuuouuuuuu."
"What?!" yelled Twilight, "What are you saying?! I can't understand you!"
Princess Celestia shook her head sadly. "Have you been taking notes, Twilight?" she asked. "If you have then maybe I won't banish you from Equestria."
Twilight's pupils dilated for a brief moment before she nodded and used her magic to lift up her notebook and present it to Celestia. "Here!" she said, "here are the notes that I have been taking!"
"Twilight, there is nothing written on these pages," said Celestia. Twilight brought her notebook back to her and was surprised to see that there were tons of notes on the pages. Why hadn't Celestia seen them?
Before she could explain that to Celestia, the words on the page literally jumped up and danced off of her notebook in a straight line. She gasped and tried to use her magic to get the words back so she could show Celestia her notes and save herself from banished being from Equestria! However, to her horror her horn completely ignored her commands and the words danced away and faded into the floor.
"Well, Twilight," said Princess Celestia, "I'm waiting for your notes."
"I don't think she has any," said Ms. Squitz, "you know how bad of a student she is. She’s never passed any of my tests!"
""That's not true!" Twilight wailed, "I've gotten perfect scores on all of your tests!"
"And she's clearly a habitual liar," said Princess Celestia and Ms. Squitz at once. The class around her laughed cruelly.
"No I'm not!" said Twilight, on the verge of tears.
"Whatever Twilight," said Celestia, "I guess I'll just have to banish you TO THE MOOOOOOOON!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" said Twilight as she dramatically threw her hooves up into the air. Celestia ignored her pleas for mercy and a black magical glow engulfed Twilight. She desperately tried to struggle out of the spell but was under the power of Princess Celestia; there was no way she was getting out. "NOOOOOOOOO!" she said once more as she looked around her class for help.
Twilight’s eyes landed on the classmate that sat right next to her who rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Twilight, wake up. Class is over."
"Huh?!"
Twilight's eyes snapped open and her head bolted up. She had fallen asleep in class! She looked around wildly, and then made eye contact with her neighbor.
"How long was I asleep?!" she asked.
Her classmate shrugged. "I'm not sure when you fell asleep but class is over. See you next period."
Her classmate stood up and used her magic to put her supplies in her saddlebag before walking out the door. Twilight's pupils shrank and her ears flattened as she glanced at her notebook. She had taken hardly any notes at all! She’d been asleep throughout the entire class.
"Oh no," she whispered. What if the lecture material was on the test? What if her teacher had told them when their next exam or essay was? What had she missed?
Slowly she gathered up her supplies and walked out of the classroom, giving her teacher a slight nod as she left. She sighed as she dejectedly walked down the halls of the school. Could today get any worse?"
"Good morning, Twilight," said a familiar voice behind her. Twilight wheeled around to see Princess Celestia herself looking serenely at her.
"Uh... hi," said Twilight.
The sun goddess smiled at her. "How was class today, my star student?" asked Celestia. Hearing the title made the sting of sleep even more potent.
Twilight put on her best fake smile and chuckled nervously. "Uh... yeah, it was good," she said.
"I'm glad to hear that," said Celestia, "by the way, have you eaten yet today? I know how you get so engrossed in your studies that you forget to get a good meal in."
"I haven't actually," said Twilight, "I was just about to go get something."
"Well come along then and I'll get you something," said Celestia. Twilight grinned at the suggestion and she followed Celestia into her personal dining room. "I hope that you do not find this too formal, Twilight," said Celestia as she pulled back a chair for Twilight, "I was on my way to breakfast myself and, well, I do not quite fancy the cafeteria food."
"Oh, it's fine," said Twilight.
A waiter came along and took their breakfast order. Twilight ordered a pot of coffee and a few slices of toast which the waiter brought out in a few minutes. Twilight eagerly began to dig into her simple meal.
After a few minutes of silence, Princess Celestia spoke up. "So class was interesting today?" she asked.
Twilight nodded. "It was about the same," she said, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"What was something exciting that you learned?" asked Celestia eagerly.
Twilight flinched at the question and her pupils shrank down to pinpoints. "Uh... well I..."
Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow at Twilight. "What is the matter, Twilight?" she asked. "Didn't you learn anything?"
"Of course I did!" said Twilight a little louder than she intended, "I learned a lot!"
"Like what?" asked Celestia. Twilight was growing increasingly nervous, something that genuinely confused her mentor. "Is something wrong?"
"Wrong? No of course not!" said Twilight with an unconvincing grin. "Why would anything be wrong?"
Princess Celestia cocked her head. "Well you seem to be nervous, Twilight."
"I'm not nervous!" said Twilight.
Celestia gave her a look that clearly showed that she wasn't convinced by Twilight's lie in the slightest. "Very well, but you still haven't answered my question," said Celestia, "what did you learn today?"
"I... I... I..."
"What was the lecture about?"
"I... I... I..."
Celestia was completely bemused by her protégé’s complete inability to answer these basic questions that on any other day would have led to a long winded explanation of every single detail of that day's lesson. The monarch of the sun examined her student confusedly. She had attended class, she had seen her leave it. So if she had attended but was unable to answer then...
A look of understanding suddenly crossed Celestia's face and Twilight was surprised to see a small smile appear.
"Twilight, did you fall asleep in class?" asked Celestia. Twilight's eyes widened and her left ear twitched but she remained silent. Celestia gave an amused nod. "I take it that you did then."
Twilight was silent for a moment before she burst into tears. "I'm so sorry, please don't be mad!" she said hysterically. "I tried to stay awake, I really did!"
Celestia stood up from her seat and walked over to her student. She wrapped a wing comfortingly around her. "Twilight, I am not mad at you for falling asleep in class," she soothed.
The purple unicorn looked up at her with wide eyes. "You're not?" she asked.
"Of course not, my child," said Celestia. "Do you think that I never dozed off now and again during my lessons as a filly?"
"You did?" said Twilight.
"Of course I did," said Celestia, "I think everypony has fallen asleep in class more than once in their lives."
"But I slept through the whole thing!" said Twilight. “How am I supposed to catch up?"
"I think the easiest solution would be to simply ask one of your fellow classmates for today's notes," said Celestia.
Twilight nodded. "I think I can do that," she said.
"Good," said Celestia who sat down next to Twilight, "I take it you were up all night studying again?"
"Actually not this time," said Twilight, "I found a book about your early years and I just had to read it cover to cover!"
To Twilight's surprise Celestia's eyes widened and one of her ears twitched. "W... What?" she asked.
"A history book about you!" said Twilight. "It was quite fascinating I have to admit! I really liked that story about you in the garden with your mother. It was admittedly kind of cute how—"
"Where did you find that book?" asked Celestia with an unusual amount of sharpness in her tone.
Twilight cocked her head. "In the Canterlot library, Section A, floor 2 row 18."
Princess Celestia took a deep breath. "You read the whole thing?" she asked. "Even the embarrassing stories about me as a filly?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Even the one about the..." Celestia's ear twitched again and her pupils shrank even more, "Noodle Incident?" she asked in a horrified whisper.
"Yeah, why?" repeated Twilight.
Celestia took a deep breath and stood up. She mumbled something to herself about thinking she had locked all of those up before she looked down at Twilight. "Well I thank you for the wonderful time, Twilight, but I'm afraid that I have some urgent business to attend to," she said rather quickly, "if you'll excuse me."
With that, Celestia walked hurriedly out of the room. Twilight looked at the closed door with interest before she shrugged and stood up. She figured that Princess Celestia had something important to do or else she wouldn't have run off like that. Oh well, she had class in ten minutes anyway.
Twilight walked down the hall towards her classroom, feeling refreshed. The pot of coffee did wonders and she was feeling far more awake. She could hold off sleep for another twelve hours at least!
She walked into her classroom just in time to see her teacher handing out papers to everypony in the room. She sat down at her desk and saw that it was a test!
"Okay class, this test will be on chapters 3 and 4 as well as the lectures from last week so I hope that you've been paying attention. You may begin when you are ready."
Twilight grinned as she scanned her test. This one would be easy! She knew the answers to all of these questions and she would have the test done in no time!
As she circled the correct answers, she heard a slight snorting noise coming from her teacher's desk. Curious, she looked up to see Ms. Squitz sitting at her desk, a sleepy look on her face. She wasn't...? Her eyes crossed slightly and her head slumped low as she fought to stave off the sandpony. Twilight allowed herself a small grin as Ms. Squitz's head snapped up. Twilight shook her head and widened her grin as she looked back down to her test right as Ms. Squitz closed her eyes again.
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This is the story of my life.
Great work though!
lolwut?
this is awesome twilight is a cute filly
I once I fell asleep while our class was watching a movie! WHO DOES THAT???
1368338 I've done it.
1368338 A movie is the perfect time to take a nap or catch up on reading...unless the teacher is a jerk and gives a work to do during it.
I got a kick out of this story. I wouldn't mind reading about the noodle incident.
Noodle incident... HAH
This was a nice one. And I too am curious about the, "Noodle Incident." Must've been something amazing. Or adorable.
Aww! It's so cute it's puppy!
Simple and sweet. ME LIKEY!
Can you write a prequel to this story about what was in that book about Filly Celestia?
1369915 if I think of something good then maybe. However, it is doubtlessly more outrageous in your mind.
1369958
Ok then, how about a story about the noodle incident?
i.ytimg.com/vi/6oiGj2ZiDxQ/0.jpg
I was expecting the test to be about what they had read the previous class, and Twilight freaking out.
Anyway, nice story!
Anyways, I liked the story.
Short and enjoyable.
1368338
I do.
1369266 you'll regret saying that
1368338
*Rises Hoof* Me too.
Come on, I thought everyone knew what Celestia's Noodle Incident was all about. It's common knowledge.
Don't even remind me of school, I already had enough of that stuff today
Great story, by the way!
I... miss school to be honest.
Great story!
This story is wonderful. I absolutely love the 'noodle incident' reference. Well done.
This pleases me. I will kill you last.
Hahaha. This made me laugh. I also liked the reference to the "noodle incident"
1368338
Me.
I've also propped a short-story-collection book open in front of me before and then aimed my face towards it before going to sleep. Fooled my whole class.
Course everyone else read UBER SLOWLY and I finished that book in one class period. When my teacher gave me the 'Oh really?' face during the next day when I openly read a different book and told me to summarize it and I did she (and most of my classmates) was shocked. It was a good day.
Hmm.. Uh huh.... Yes.
Heehee! I had to find something silly to end the night on. Fortunately, you had a blog, and then I perused here and there, and stumbled across this. Glad I did. Delightful read. I've definitely been there done that.
Your characterization of Twilight was spot-on. I can TOTALLY envision her having that nightmare. Also, lol at the "noodle incident"...looks like someone's been on TVTropes...
2270180 and is a Calvin and Hobbes fan.
Very well written. Good work, BW.
I Made a Very funny Replacement Dream!
Ms.Sparkle You Are Sentenced To An Arrow To the Hoof
Do You Have Any BDSFDSAFDSAFSDFASFDASF
"Wut?"
"I said fheurfheiufuhshafhjkdshjbhfbjmhasbhjfhj"
*Twilight Gets a Arrow in the face"
D END
*Grins* Very cute, I loved the final piece with the poor teacher dozing off. It was the perfect ending.
I dig your verbatim reference to the trope name of the "Noodle Incident." :3
RED ANGEL SEAL OF APPROVAL
Nice story. I must say, I'm impressed, not one downvote!
2507136
I think you angered the contrarians.
2511941 JESUS CHRIST WHY AM I SUCH A JINX
This was adorkable, Twi :D
Yeah so now I want to read this forbidden book
Falling asleep during class is fun once in a while.
Unless you snore.
I fell asleep in class once. The teacher hit me in throat with a piece of chalk from across the room. I liked him, he was a fun teacher.
2270290
That awkward moment when people don't realize that most things with specific names like Noodle Incident have trope namers
Replace "big grey book" with "Internet", and you will know how most of highschool went for me.
IRC == I Repeat Class.
"The Noodle Incident" OK PEOPLE WE NEED A WRITER TO RIGHT A ONE SHOT ABOUT THAT STAT
AND NO SLEEPING!
This was an awesome read.
Also, Calvin Hobbes!
A teacher falling asleep in class! That`s unheard of! Wait, but what about that time... and that other time... oh and who could forget that last time... You know what? Never mind.
2737831 And then Princess Sunbutt taught Twilight about book burnings
I've fallen asleep a grand total of about two times throughout high school. There may have been more, but only two I can recall off the bat. Both were in German; I was in Twilight mode at the time, constantly reviewing the words and grammar, and I simply fell asleep. Though from the timing they were only powernaps, so I lucked out there.