• Member Since 29th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 1st, 2012



Collection of short stories all in a chain going from picture to story to picture from MLPG over the course of around a month or so.

Each participant only ever saw the last entry to base their story/picture on, so have no knowledge on the context of what they received. This was the result.

Chapters (18)
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Comments ( 28 )


I would rather do a embarrasing dance then reading the comment above

I love that my picture got interpreted as the IRS invading Raritys store.

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 1)
Twilight and Pinkie are eaten by an eclipse based all consuming darkness...


(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 2)
...which turns out to be Luna's sick fantasy/flashback during an event using an eclipse to show that Luna's not so bad but Pinkie is scared anyway and gets a comfort hug from Twilight...


(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 3)
...then Pinkie has a flashback to a previous almost burned down Sugarcube Corner incendent with Applejack getting ready for Twilight's birthday party...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 4)
...later her friends, not having learned from the first time, throw Pinkie another surprise party, with horribly scarring results...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 5)
...which inspired Pinkie to turn herself into a living oven...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 6)
...but when she tried to bake a Poison-Joke cake in her stomach, she grew huge and ate weird things that shrunk down with her when she got small again...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 7)
...during which Zecora drugged Twilight with a delayed potion that made her turn all the ponies into boxes as revenge for how the town treated her when she first arrived...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 8)
...Discord thought it was trippy and made her do it again...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 9)
...which inspired Rainbow to take up real boxing; a colossal failure that led to Dash asking Twilight for a spell to assist her and everyone being turned into boxes, again...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 10)
...an odd side effect of which was the discovery of the massively overused and terribly cliche switching spell inside of box Rainbow, which went off with the usual shenanigans...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 11)
...unfortunately, Twilight wasn't powerful enough to end the spell and everypony affected had to stay that way for the foreseeable future...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 12)
...Twilight's numerous attempts to fix the situation eventually ended with her and Rarity being sent to an alternate world where Twilight is Rarity's mother...

(Cohesive Attempt: Part 13)
...the undoing of which fixed Rarity's age but made her a stallion...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 14)
...that cleared up in a few days; the whole experience inspiring Rarity to attempt a new negotiation tactic using the age reversal spell that failed miserably...

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 15)
...which inspired Rarity to use her sister to confuse poor, unsuspecting IRS agents...

Okay, for story one: You really captured the mood of the picture, and overall, it's a really awesome scene. The narrative is fluid and you really captured a sense of both horror and beauty.

I have only one regret: stuff like this
"I-I can't giggle away these ghosties"
In my humble opinion, that's a little forced and cheesy. References like this have absolutely their place in a fanfic, but chosen carefully

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 16)
...in finishing the story, the narrator pleads for freedom from the curse of non-exsistence...

About story two: Very nicely written, and I loved the flashback, even though you really need to find a way to formally separate it from the rest of the story, because this way it's kinda confusing (I always use "-" between paragraphs that aren't connected). The rest of the story wasn't really all that thrilling, and I'm not sure it got everything out of the picture it could have (why is Twilight scared in the picture, too? What's with the fog? And why does it focus on Pinkie and Twilight so much? Pinkie being especially scared of eclipses needs to be elaborated on; also, the eclipse will probably be a vital part in the following stories, why just end it like this?)

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 17)
...who is revealed to be a confused and insane Lyra who has been turned to stone, along with the rest of Ponyville in an attempt to save the so-called "Golden Age" of Equestria for future generations. The End.

About story 3: Cute story, and I'm glad you added that twist in the end. What it didn't do was exploit the horror theme hinted at, but interestingly enough, geaglewarrior42 made a valid point, it happens to fit perfectly with the narrative started in the first story. The use of the present tense put me off at first, but it actually works very well

If you're going to do this again could you include me in it? It looks like fun.:pinkiehappy:

...You know, I might just write out that cohesive story thing as an actual story.:pinkiecrazy:


Could you believe that it took me until I read the story you drew it from just now before I noticed that you didn't give Rarity a cutie mark?

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Epilogue)
Lyra and the other "Golden Age" petrified ponies were found hundreds of years later and treated as the statues and mannequins they appeared to be while clinging onto only the barest traces of awareness. Twilight's spell wouldn't wear off for another thousand years, where Lyra would awaken in a very different world. But that is another story.

The End. Again.:derpytongue2:

Perhaps THIS is where the smooze came from?

doneld trump pony before I made doneld trump pony, amazing

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