PONY OR DIE 1

by MLPG

Entry 28 and 29

Entry 28, by Cosmo

Entry 29, by Faraway

“But Rarity!” bawled Sweetie Belle as she levitated along. “I have things to do with Scootaloo and Applebloom!”

“Now, now, dear, we’ll only be borrowing you for a minute,” said Rarity, opening the door to Carousel Boutique.

“Yes, what she said,” said Twilight.

“Why are you acting so WEIRD? Let me go!”

“Not just yet, darling. Twilight, be a dear and take Sweetie Belle to the back room and astcay the ellspay, okay?”

“Sure thing, Rarity. It might take a few minutes.”

Sweetie Belle began thrashing her little marshmallow legs as Twilight brought her through a door to a back room.

“Ellspay? What’s an ellspay? How do you astcay someone? It sounds painful! Help! Help! He-“

The door swung shut. Rarity fiddled with her mane, trying to put it back in its original, fabulous, place. Hopefully the pony IRS wouldn’t show up for a good few hours and they’d be able to prepare Sweetie Belle for her very important role.

Somepony knocked on the door.

“Pony IRS! I'm here to inspect your books!”

“Oh for pe- Yes, just a second,” Rarity called. Twilight stuck her head out of the door.

“You have to stall him, Rarity… we’re not done yet! I’ll make a noise when it’s done.”

Rarity nodded and trotted towards the door, swinging it open with her magic. A light brown Earth pony looked back at her.

“Yes, hello. Um, this is Carousel Boutique, yes? My name is Moneybags, and I’m going to investigate your books today. Can I come in?”

Rarity grinned.

“You want to come in? Well, that’s a reasonable thing to ask. After all, this is a door, and what are doors for if not for allowing perfectly respectable ponies to enter through them?”

“Yes, well I-“

“And after all, a handsome stallion like yourself shouldn’t settle for anything less than entering through the door. You’re not some rogue-ish burglar pony to clamber through the windows, and…”

“Can I, uh, come in now? You’re blocking the way and holding me back, and I, you know, really need to get this over with.”

“Oh goodness, yes, of course,” said Rarity, moving back a few paces and allowing Moneybags to enter the door. Rarity looked around frantically, trying to find anything that could hold him off any further.

“So, um, are you the owner?” Moneybags asked.

“Oh goodness no, I- Mane!” said Rarity.

“Th- excuse me?”

“Your mane is just dreadful, darling! I know I said you were handsome outside but now I look at you in a different light… it’s such an unfashionable mess! It’s almost like you cut it yourself. And what happened to your tail? It’s… like it fell victim to the mad-axe pony of Trottingham! And don’t even get me started on your cutie mark. It must be very embarrassing for a taxpony to only have ONE bag of money. Why, I know a businessman in this very town with three, and he’s surely not as good with figures as you claim to be. Why, I need to give you a makeover right. This. Second.”

A honking noise emanated from the back room.

“Makeover? I don’t have time for a makeover! I-I need to inspect finances, not get haircuts. Fetch the owner, young lady. I have business to discuss.”

“Oh, I shall,” Rarity said, turning towards the back room. “Sweetie!” she called. “Oh, you’d better be ready. Blasted spell…”, she muttered afterwards.

She opened the door to find Sweetie, but… not Sweetie. This looked almost exactly like Rarity, even down to the passable imitation of her own hairstyle. Rarity nodded and muttered to Sweetie Belle.

“This will do fine. Has Twilight told you what you need to do?”

Sweetie nodded hard, and gave Rarity a wide grin. Rarity smiled back.

They went back into the main room, where Moneybags was looking at his cutie mark with some concern.
“Well, here’s the owner, Mr Moneybags. If you’d like to go to that room through there, you’ll find everything set up for you.”

“Finally. Thank you for your assistance…” He gave a shrewd look at Sweetie Belle, who was staring vacantly into space. “I can already see you’re, um, the reason this business is so successful. Anyway, do come along with me, Ms Rarity.”

“Go on dear,” said Rarity to Sweetie Belle. “That’s you.” She turned to look at Moneybags. “I’ll just be out here doing work if you need to speak to me.”

Ten minutes later, Moneybags burst out of the room he’d been speaking to “Rarity” in. He trotted over to Rarity, visibly flustered.

“Yes, well, I can see where the problems came about. Goodness. I think that if you promise to do the revenues in future, and you just pay the outstanding money – that’s, uh, 56 bits currently – we should be all right. Just please, don’t let that mare near the books ever again.”

“I’m sure I can manage that. Would you like to stay for tea? Rarity is going to cook her specia-“

“NO! Uh, no. Thank you. I’m very busy, being part of the pony IRS, you understand, so I need to go, right now. Um, bye.”

Moneybags almost fled out the front door, swinging it shut behind him.

Twilight trotted out of her hiding place towards Rarity.

“Wow, Rarity. That worked great! I knew the Little-No-More spell would combine with the Dumb-You-Down spell, but not that effectively. This opens up a whole new host of possibilities in the future.”

“Well I’m just glad your plan worked, darling. Heavens knows I thought that a plan you based on something from fiction would have just crashed and burned straight away.”

Twilight laughed.

“Well, it could have been better but I had no time to plan! Next time make sure you give me more than a day to work out a story. Anyway, I’m happy it all worked out for you. Although, you might have a bit of cleaning up to do now. I’m afraid Sweetie Belle made a big mess of your room.”

Rarity scowled.

“Urgh. Well, I suppose it’s only a small price to pay for not going to pony jail. I’ll just have to get clearing up right away. After all, it’s no easy task to clear the ground, plant our tiny seeds. With proper care and sunshine, everyone it feeds. Apples, carrots, celery stalks, colourful flowers too, we must work so very hard it’s just so much to do. Winter wrap-up, winter wrap-up, let’s finish our holiday cheer, winter wrap-up, winter wrap-up, ‘cause tomorrow spring is here.”

Comments

[Doctor Geagle]

(Cohesive Story Attempt: Part 15)
...which inspired Rarity to use her sister to confuse poor, unsuspecting IRS agents...

[Chokfi]

doneld trump pony before I made doneld trump pony, amazing