• Published 3rd Oct 2012
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60's Era Spiderman goes to Equestria - MnM

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Boats and ho's without the boats

The sun had just finished setting behind the mountain the city of Canterlot was built into as Spiderman arrived at the palaces front gate. With him were Rarity, Fluttershy, and Lyra, who were all dressed in fancy gowns of varying colors, while our hero was dressed in his Spidey outfit, because he doesn't give a fuck about dressing in fancy attire.

You may be asking yourself why our hero has the mares with him. Well, let's just say our hero doesn't go anywhere without his ho's.

"Bitches and hoes are like new clothes," Spiderman and Fluttershy (you read that right) sang together in perfect harmony, "once you bought em, you wish you never got em."

"Fluttershy, wherever did you hear such a dreadful song?" Rarity asked.

"The zebra's that live in the dirty part of Ponyville listen to it all the time." Fluttershy answered innocently.

"Oh... why yes, of course." Rarity said awkwardly, as they approached the Guard waiting for them at the front gate.

"Halt! What is your business here?" the Guard asked.

"Lawl I dunno." Spiderman responded, earning a strange look from the Guard.

"Listen, I need to know why-"

"God dammit, Guard! Just let them in!" Luna called from the palace.

"Yes ma'am!" he shouted back, before waving the group in. Spiderman and Fluttershy flipped him the bird and the four walked in through the front gates together.


Meanwhile, in the palace, Discord was rolling around on the floor, laughing his ass off. No literally, his ass flew off of his body, and was flying around the room like it had a mind of its own.

"Did you see that?!" Discord demanded from Chrysalis and Luna, who were looking at him strangely, "Fluttershy just flipped off that guard! Fucking priceless!"

While Discord continued to laugh hysterically, Chrysalis and the princess turned to each other.

"I still can't believe we wore the same dress..." Luna mused. Indeed, both the changeling and the alicorn were wearing the same exactly black dress.

"You planned this, didn't you?" Chrysalis asked, glaring at the princess.

"Bitch please!" Luna said, waving off the changeling queen, "you give me WAY too much credit."

"Hay." Spiderman said as he walked into the room with the other mares.

"Eyyyy Spidey." Discord greeted, flashing our hero the double thumbs up. In return, Spiderman extended two middles fingers his way, sending Fluttershy and Discord into hysterics.

Suddenly, Spiderman reached into his non-existent pocket and pulled out a strange device out of it. The device started beeping like crazy.

"Oh shit..." Spiderman muttered.

"What is it?" Lyra asked.

"My faggot detector is off the charts." Spiderman answered, sending everyone in the room (save for Chrysalis, who is a stuck up bitch, and Rarity, who is too 'refined' to laugh over such a crude joke) into hysterics.

As most of the horses in the rooms laughed their flanks off, a horse wearing a chefs hat walked into the room.

"The food is ready." the chef said, before leaving the room as fast as he appeared.


"So, this mobster comes out of no where and just punches me out, while he was singing a song." Spiderman said, causing everyone at the table to laugh, "the lyrics went something like, 'you've been hit by, you've been struck by a smooth criminal.'"

"So what did you do, Spidey?" Discord asked.

"Yes, please do tell." Rarity pleaded. Everyone was interested in our heroes story. Hell, even Chrysalis gave a fuck for once.

"What did I do?" Spiderman asked, "I kicked him in the balls. Then I said, 'here are your options: fuck you, I'm Spiderman!', before throwing him out the window."

"That's a clever one, Spidey. Here are your options: Fuck you, I'm Discord!" Discord said, causing everyone at the table to laugh.

However, our hero wasn't pleased. He was about to tell Discord to kindly fuck off, but he felt a burning sensation in his gut. He immediately knew what was wrong.

"Gotta dash!" Spiderman called out, jumping up on the table and running across it, knocking a bunch of plates onto the floor and into the air, before swinging across the room with his web. Suddenly, the bottom of his Spidey suit ripped open, before hot diarrhea spewed all over the room, luckily not hitting any of the other dinner guests.

The reactions to this were mixed: Rarity fainted out of pure disgust, Lyra sat there with a 'wut' expression on her face, Luna and Chrysalis both gagged and looked away, and Discord and Fluttershy fell out of their chairs, laughing.

Spiderman ran out of the room and around the corner. He leaned against the wall, doubling over from the pain.

"Oh God why did I order the vindaloo curry?" Spiderman asked himself.

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