• Published 3rd Oct 2012
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60's Era Spiderman goes to Equestria - MnM

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Look at this faggot

Spiderman and Lyra took a seat at one of the many empty tables inside the Mcdonalds, placing their food in between them. Our hero unwrapped his burger and tossed the wrapper on the floor. He then looked his burger for a few seconds, then pulled off his mask and took a big bite out of it. Our hero chewed on it for a seconds, before spitting it out.

"Fucking tofu!" Spiderman exclaimed as he threw his shitty tofu big mac across the restaurant, "tastes like my shit!"

"What were you expecting, Spidey?" Lyra asked, "you have to special order meat here."

"Now let me tell you why that's bullshit!" Spiderman said.

However, before Spiderman could enlighten us on how Mcdonalds not serving meat in a place where most customers are vegetarians, multiple Royal Guard pegasi crashed through the restaurants windows. They charged up towards our hero, pointing what looked like old school semi automatic rifles at him. A white horse with an erection sticking out of his helmet and wearing colorful purple armor trotted into the Mcdonalds and marched over to where our hero and his mint colored companion were sitting.

"Put your hands up!" the horse ordered, pointing his rifle straight at our heroes face.

"No, you faggot." he answered.

"But I have a gun!" the horse pointed out.

"Too bad lawl." Spiderman said, before turning to Lyra, "look at this faggot! Pointing his gay ass rifle at me. For the love of God, stop being such a faggot!"

The horses eye twitched and he fired a shot in the air. "I will blow your bloody brains out."

"Watch out! We got a bad ass over here!" Spiderman said, before extending his arm out towards the horses gun and shooting a stream of web into its barrel, rendering it useless.

But the horse didn't know this. "That's it!" he shouted, somehow pulling the trigger on the rifle. Of course, it didn't work, as the clog in the barrel caused the barrel to explode in a rather comedic fashion, like in a fucking Loony Tunes cartoon.

"CAPTAIN SHINING ARMOR! WHAT THE BUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" an extremely loud voice bellowed. The voice was so loud, it literally caused the restaurants windows to shatter. The voice also caused all the Guards in the room to drop their rifles and drop to the ground, bowing. In through the entrance walked a tall, dark blue horse with a long horn and large wings. Her mane seemed to be a strange aura instead of hair, and she had a large tattoo of the moon and stars on her ass. She also wore a necklace and crown.

'She must be black.' our hero thought.

"Captain Shining Armor, I am extremely disappointed in you. What the buck do you think you are doing? We make first contact with a new, friendly sentient species, and your first reaction is to point a gun at it?! Are you bucking- no, are you FUCKING insane?!" the blue horse demanded.

"But-" this Shining Armor began to protest.

"Shut the fuck up, Captain! I know damn well my sister made you Captain simply because you were involved with my cousin. You lack any leadership skill or experience at all. You're fucking demoted!" the blue horse exclaimed, before bitch slapping the former Captain, sending him flying across the restaurant and into a wall. The blue horse then turned towards our hero and sighed heavily.

"I am sorry you had to see that." she apologized.

"It's cool lawl." Spiderman said, waving it off.

"Well, still, I shouldn't have lost my temper like that." the blue horse stated.

"No, that was fucking awesome. Do it again lawl." our hero encouraged.

The horse chuckled lightly. "Sorry, but no." she said.

"Fuck..." Spiderman said, disappointed.

"Well, anyways..." the blue horse began awkwardly, "I'm Princess Luna, the ruler of the nation of Equestria."

"What happened to Celestia?" Lyra asked.

"Um..." Luna began awkwardly.


"Oh yes!" Celestia screeched in pleasure as the Guard whipped her once more.

"What the fuck?! You're not supposed to enjoy this!" the Guard shouted, whipping her over and over again with all his strength, eliciting a moan from the overthrown princess every time she was whipped.

"What do you expect, Guard? Someone in your position must know what my tastes are." Celestia pointed out.

The Guard pondered on this for a couple of seconds. "Well, shit." he said.


"Now that I think about it... my sister is probably enjoying her punishment." Luna mused.

"Sounds kinky." Spiderman said.

"You have no idea." Luna said, "I never got your name."

"His name is Spiderman, Princess." Lyra said.

"Ah! Well, Mr. Spiderman, I would be honored if you could accompany to dinner at the palace tomorrow." the Princess stated.

"You guys have vindaloo curry?" Spiderman asked.

"We have everything." Luna answered.

"Fucking sweet." our hero said.

"Well, I'll see you around, Mr. Spiderman." Luna said, turning around and making her way towards the exit. However, she stopped and turned towards where Queen Chrysalis and Discord were sitting, who were doing their best to hide from the Princess. They were failing epically.

"Ah! It's good to see you two." the Princess said, making her way over to the table.

"What do you want?" Queen Chrysalis hissed.

"I want to bury the hatchet." Luna stated, earning confused looks from both Discord and Chrysalis.

"What do you mean?" Discord asked, "we're both villains to you ponies."

"Villains to Celestia, Discord, but not to me." Luna pointed out. "You will find you two are very much welcome in Equestria now that Celestia has been overthrown and I am now in charge. Due to my secret hate of my sister, I had much respect for your attack on Canterlot, Chrysalis. And Discord, you really didn't do anything wrong in the first place. I would like to invite you two to dine with me and Spiderman tomorrow."

"Ooo! A double date? I like where this is going." Discord said.

"Who said anything about a date, dumbass?" Chrysalis hissed, slugging the draconequus in the shoulder before turning back to the Princess, "we'll be there. There better not be any trouble waiting for us, Luna."

"Oh please, you give me too much credit, Chrysalis. You two would be dead already if I wanted you two gone." Luna stated.

"She does raise a good point." Discord pointed out.

"Fine. See you there, Princess." Queen Chrysalis said.

"Oh, you will. Just a word of advice; you two should probably dress fancy. Good bye, my old enemies." Luna said, before making her way out of the Mcdonalds.

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