A surprise vist
Where were we? Let’s see... Oh yes, a mysterious mare had just arrived and I believe Rainbow had responded with, "Oh buck." Huh, well back to the story! (I'm calling her "Mystery Mare" in hopes that some of you haven't figured it out yet.)
Rainbow Dash stood there staring in awe and confusion at what lay before her. "Well little sis, I didn't expect you to have such a mouth on you!" the mystery mare said.
"Rainbow? Who is it?" Spitfire called from the living room.
"And who is that?" The mystery mare asked.
"Uh... Don't worry Spitfire. It's... Nopony," Rainbow called back.
"So I'm a nopony now?" the mare smirked.
"What?!? No no no, I didn't say that! I just mean..." Rainbow looked deep in thought. (And awesome.)
"Rainbow, is everything ok in there?" Spitfire asked, getting up from the couch.
"Yeah, everything's fine!" Rainbow insisted. However, that answer didn't satisfy Spitfire and she got up and walked out into the hallway.
"Rainbow? Who's this?" Spitfire said, with a raised eyebrow.
"Who? Oh her, ummmm..." Rainbow bit her bottom lip trying to come up with an answer.
"I'm Fyre Fly, Rainbow’s adoptive sister. It's nice to meet you... Spitfire?" Fyre Fly introduced herself.
"It's nice to meet you too, I'm Rainbow's... roommate" Spitfire said, shaking her hoof, "And Rainbow? You couldn't just tell me that?" Spitfire asked a very sheepish looking Rainbow Dash.
"Well... I didn't mean for you two to meet this way," Rainbow pawed at the floor.
"So you were planning on having us meet?" Spitfire questioned, all the while and amused looking Fyre Fly simply watched.
Rainbow sighed, "Umm, why don't we move this to the kitchen. It sounds like I have some explaining to do," Rainbow said, gesturing to said kitchen.
"Yeah," Spitfire and Fyre Fly both said at the same time. They all walked to the kitchen, Spitfire watching Fyre Fly the entire way. When they got into the kitchen Rainbow and Fyre Fly sat at the table, and Spitfire started to make something to eat.
"You’re going to make her do all the work?" Fyre Fly asked Rainbow.
"Oh please... That mare couldn't cook if her life depended on it," Spitfire snorted, to which Fyre Fly chuckled and Rainbow Dash just hid her face in her hooves. After warming up some spaghetti and setting three plates of it down on the table, Spitfire sat down and joined the other two.
"So Rainbow, why don't you get started on that story?" Spitfire asked her.
"Uh yeah, sure... It was during Jr. Speedster’s flight camp..."
-Flash Back!-
My parents had just died and I needed a legal guardian to continue going to the camp. Eventually they just sent me to an orphanage. But while I was there, it was the worst thing in my life. I was sad, lonely, and all around not happy. But one day, a light pink mare walked in and looked around. She saw me in the corner just sitting there clutching my Wonderbolts doll, and walked over to me.
"Hey there little filly... You ok?"
"Y-yeah, I-I'm fine..."
"Cause' you sure don't look ok."
"I'm fine!"
"Hey there’s the fillyfooler!" a grey colt shouted, pointing his hoof at Rainbow from across the room. Previous statements forgotten, the filly Rainbow instantly grabbed on to the larger mare, tears coming out at full speed.
"W-why are they s-so mean t-to me?" she asked between sobs.
"Shhh, it’s ok. I'm not going to let them hurt you anymore." She brushed the filly's mane with her hoof.
-End Flash Back-
"She ended up adopting me. Although because I never really got over not having my parents, we were more like sisters," Rainbow said, finishing her short tale.
"Wow, well I wasn't expecting to hear that tonight," Spitfire said, cleaning up the plates.
"Ok, ok. Now it's time for a different story. What’s going on between you two? You've been stealing looks at each other all night," Fyre Fly asked, making both of them blush.
"Well you see," Rainbow took a deep breath, "Spitfires my marefriend!" Rainbow cringed and waited for the 'What?!?!?!' that never came.
"Oh, well I wish you would've sent me a letter or something," Fyre Fly said, leaving Rainbow’s jaw open agape.
"Rainbow, jaw," Spitfire reminded her.
Closing her jaw, Dash asked, "Wait, so you’re ok with that?"
"Rainbow Dash, I adopted you when you were eight and made a promise to love you no matter what. This isn't an exception," Fyre Fly said, bringing her in for a hug.
"Is the marefriend allowed in the hug to?" Spitfire asked forelegs outspread. They responded by pulling her into it too. After a couple seconds the hug dispersed.
"You know what? Fyre Fly, I think it's great your here!" Spitfire said.
"And why's that?" she asked.
"Well...You’re about the closest thing Rainbow has to family right now correct?" Spitfire asked.
"Well yes, I suppose so..." Fyre Fly said hesitantly.
"Well then I'd like your blessing," Spitfire said, with a slight sigh.
"For what exactly?" Fyre Fly asked, eyeing her curiously.
Spitfire took a small box out from under her wing and opened it. Inside was a beautiful sapphire necklace. "Rainbow Dash... Will you marry me?" Spitfire asked, getting down on one knee.
Rainbow looked at Spitfire with tears in her eyes and said, "Yes...Yes, a thousand times yes!" Rainbow leapt into a hug that Spitfire had been willing to provide for her. They kissed and they had never been happier in their lives.
"Well, this has been an interesting turn of events!" Fyre Fly said, a smile on her face. "But I think you'll be happy to know that I give you my full blessing," Fyre Fly said. After they stopped hugging, they walked with Fyre Fly to the door.
"Come back soon, ok?" Rainbow asked, hugging her sister.
"Of course I will!" Fyre Fly said. She then walked over to Spitfire and hugged her as well. "Take care of her for me, ok?" she got out between half tears and half chuckles.
"I will," Spitfire promised, and with that Fyre Fly took off and into the night sky.
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You left the italics on.
WHAT THE HELL?!??!?
WHY AM I IN ITALICS?!?!?!?!
>> Sonicbrony66
Oh shit! Thanks man I didn't realize!
-edit-
I can't turn it off! Kiroberos help me!!
"You left the italics on."
That was
Funny for no reason whatsoever.
And they all lived happily ever after...
No complications, no fights or hatred, just fairytale love.
Hey, now I like simple, sappy love as much as the next guy, but this story just feels bland. You need to add complications, a fight or something. Everyone can't just be all "Homosexuality is awesome!" (Which it is, by the way), and then go on about their lives. Not everyone should agree, and not everyone should be happy.
Just, give me a reason to stay awake, alright?
Tracking.
the italics...
they confused me for about 2 lines until il realized they wrents supposed to be there XD
My parrents had just died and I needed a legal guardian to continue going to the camp. Eventually they just sent me to an orphanage. But while I was there It was the worst thing In my life. I was sad, lonely and all around not happy. But one day a light pink mare walked in and looked around she saw me in the corner just sitting there clutching my wonderbolts doll, and walked over to me./i]
RD's parents were parrots? Holy crap! Also nuke that part I emphasized and the problem might be solved.
""Is the marefriend allowed in the hug to?" Spitfire asked fore legs out spread. They responded by puling her into it too. After a couple seconds the hug dispersed.""
Forelegs and pulling. I will locate all misspellings! Muahahahahahahahahahaha!
o_O Oh sweet mother of-- *gets run over by rogue marriage*
Okay, they've been dating for like, what, nine months now? Um... I guess that's alright...? The thing that keeps me drawn back about that is (well, nine months is awfully short) that we haven't actually seen any of the relationship. Yes, we've seen the beginning and the reveal, but nothing else. We never saw the relationship grow and strengthen, which also helps build character. You skip over that, you have every right to - seeing as you're the author, but I'm just putting that out there.
Anyway, I haven't said yet, but I really enjoy the little side quips you throw into the story. It adds some humor
171904
Hey hey hey now! This story isn't over! There shall be complications my friends, so many complications!
You Said Meat not meet
Parrents not parents
AND NOOOOOOO NOT FYRE FLY SHES A GAY OLD PONY!!!!!!!!
But still 20 yays
Yes... Yes and a thousand times yes!!!
To you, that is.
It not over or I kill you
149510 Its Bastard? and What the Buck are you on about????170231 Hahahahhahahahah Lol yes i have been consumed by an Skeleton before it did not last long also i have been consumed by an EnderMan dont get me started....
171627
Are you using html tags? Lemme check with my story and see how it functions.
Oh dear.
Edit: Yeah, you have to make sure to use the '[ / i ]' tag after you want to stop using italics. Without the spaces, of course.
Aha! Thank you Kiroberos I will try that!
173707
Oh, in proofing it, I notice that you have /i] printed out after the area right after the flashback transition. You must have italicized it, then edited something and accidentally deleted the [ symbol. Put that back behind the / symbol and it should read it correctly.
PS - I'm almost done editing it now.
I think you mean "meet" and not "meat".
171991
I'm the big mean stupid editor who doesn't check his email enough and get right at proofing the story. Be mad at me. I've gotten the proofed chapter into him now, however.
171998
172691
173786
Relax, ponies!
173805 No anger here. Just found it a bit odd. Then again BBcode is evil.
My grammer! It hurts!
173833 Grammar
>> Sithis
See!
173982 See what?
I couldn't even spell grammar right!
174019
<-- *doesn't get to use that face nearly often enough* 
Technically that's spelling, not grammar.
Oh...
175037
Just teasing. You've improved a lot over the last few months.
173805 Well Maybe being inside a creeper got to your head
LET FLUTTERSHY HELPY!
Also you misspelled the chapter title. I'm guessing it should be "A Surprise Visit"
"all the while and amused looking Fyre Fly simply watched."
Make that 'an'
The great thing being that you can go back and edit a chapter even after publishing it. Nothing is truly finalized in the land of Fimfic!
Nice job, my jaw must have hit the floor when I read the part about Spitfire proposing to Rainbow Dash. Nice work so far, I can't wait to see what happens next!
I was already all ecstatic about how well my fan-fictions were doing at the moment then you come along with something so amazing, where is the emote for practically bawling with joy!
d'awwwwwwwww