Fluttering Into the Truth
Chapter 3-Fluttering Into the Truth
The next morning I was walking up a dirt path towards a cottage. How did I end up here? Well....
Twilight and I had planned to visit Fluttershy this morning. But she had forgotten about a spa date she had made with Rarity. So when the white unicorn knocked on the door, Twilight started freaking out and running around the room. “I forgot about the date! I never forget that! But we need to see Fluttershy and I told her...!”
“Dear, we can just postpone it for another time.” Rarity offered.
I shook my head. “No, it's fine. Twilight can't you just send me there?”
Twilight relaxed. “Sure. But will you be okay?”
“I've met with royals from all over Equestria, Twi.” I said. “I'll be alright.”
“Okay.” Twilight said, lighting up her horn. “Oh by the way Shade. Fluttershy is rather quiet.”
“You mean shy?” I asked.
“Yes. So she probably won't talk too much but she's a kind pony. You'll like her. See you later.” I disappeared in a flash of light.
And that's how I ended up at the front door of a quaint cottage. It wasn't a fancy cottage, like Rarity's home or anything. And I realized that I was stalling in front of the door. Not wanting her to come outside and think I was a stalker or anything, I lightly knocked on the door.
“Oh, I'll be right there.” I heard a voice say. Lightly tapping my hoof, I waited for the door to open. When it did, I looked upon a yellow pegasus with a pink flowing mane. “Hello. Are you Shade? Twilight told me that you were coming to visit today.”
“Yup. That's me.” I said. “I take it that you're Fluttershy?”
She lightly nodded. “Yes. Won't you come in? I'm making some tea and you're welcome to join me.”
Not one to turn down an offer of tea, I stepped inside to join her.
…
Around noon, Fluttershy had shown me around her entire house and her backyard. Her backyard was the perfect place for all sorts of animals to live. She had plenty of trees for various squirrels and birds to live in. She had a giant pool for different water creatures, such as ducks, geese and fish. She had a chicken coop in another part of the yard. I was in amazement at how organized it all was. Another thing was that none of the animals were fighting or having any problems. I sat down on the deck she had leading from her back door as she went around making sure every animal was okay. When she sat back by me, I said. “Wow, I had no idea how good you were with animals.”
She looked away from me, blushing. “Oh, it's ummm.....I guess they just like me.”
“Yeah.” I said.
Flutttershy looked at me. “I have a question....that is, if you don't mind.”
“Go ahead.” I said.
“Why have you lived in Canterlot all your life?” she asked softly.
I sighed. “I never knew my parents. Celestia told me that she and Luna had found me alone in the Everfree Forest. She took me in and well, took care of me all my life. I've been her personal assistant ever since.”
“But, didn't you ever like, want to know who your parents were?” Fluttershy asked.
“Sure I have.” I said. “Celestia said that she's been searching for them. But I don't know if I would want to go with them.” I sighed again, starting to tear up.
I felt Fluttershy tense. “Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to upset you.”
“It's okay Shy. I needed to get it off my chest.” I said. I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself. “I just wish I knew who they were, ya know? I would ask them why...” I stopped as I felt a hoof on my foreleg. Fluttershy was looking right at me.
“Please, don't worry about it anymore Shade. I don't want you to be upset.” she said softly. I looked into her eyes. She really had beautiful blue eyes. We stayed like that for a bit, her making me feel better without any words.
Suddenly a white blur landed on my leg. It was a small bunny and he did not look happy. He started waving his hands at Fluttershy, pointing at his stomach. “Oh, I'm sorry Angel. You were asleep so I didn't want to wake you. Come on, let's get you some food.” They started walking inside when the pegasus turned to look at me. “Are you coming, Shade?”
“Nah, I'm going to head out. I'll see you later, K?” I said. Fluttershy nodded and went inside with the irate bunny. I chuckled, stood up and teleported away.
…
Twilight, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie were standing in Twilight's library. “So, you think you can get it all ready by tonight, Pinkie?” Twilight asked.
“Yup! You're talking to Ponyville's number one party pony! I'll get it done faster before you can blink twice!” The hyperactive pony dashed out of the house.
“Umm, excuse me for sounding dumb, but what in tarnation is going on again?” Applejack asked.
“I asked Pinkie if she could throw a party welcoming Shade to Ponyville.” Twilight explained.
“Yes, That's all we talked about at our spa date today.” Rarity chimed in.
“As soon as Shade returns, I'll distract him by asking him to help me in the library. I told Fluttershy to keep him past noon if she can, so he'll probably be back soon.” Twilight said.
“Okay there. And if you get done there, send him over to the farm.” Applejack said with a mischievous grin. “Ah sure Ah've got some things he could do.”
“Thanks, but I'll be okay.” Twilight said. “I'll bring him to Sugercube Corner around 7:30. That should give us enough time before everypony arrives.”
“Okay then dear. We'll see you later.” The two ponies left the library.
Twilight walked back into the main room where Spike had just finished putting the books away that ponies had returned. “All done, Twilight. Is the party still on?”
“Yeah, but..” Twilight gave a mischievous grin. Her horn flashed and every book in the room started shaking.
“Twilight....” Spike started.
“Shh,” Twilight said, her eyebrows furrowed. Suddenly, every book in the room shot from their spots and flew around the room, making a mess.
“Twilight! That took me two hours!” Spike yelled.
Twilight panted. “It's okay Spike. You don't have to help. Shade and I will clean it up. You go relax upstairs.” The baby dragon nodded and walked up the stairs. Twilight nodded to herself. “This will keep him distracted until the party.
…
I walked along the road in a different direction from Ponyville. I could have simply teleported to Twilight's house, but I wanted some time to think. My parents, who were they. And why did they leave me in the Everfree forest? All my questions were buzzing around in my head and started to give me a headache. “Man, why can't I remember?” I said.
“Maybe you aren't thinking hard enough?” I jumped 3 feet in the air as I heard a voice from behind me. Turning, I saw a black and green pegasus mare about my age standing there, a disarming smile on her face. “I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.”
I calmed down and stood relaxed. “Pardon me but, who are you again?”
The mare giggled. “I'm sorry again! My name is Dancing Mist, but you can just call me Misty. I heard you talking and thought you needed somepony to vent to.”
“Thanks.” I said. “ I'm Shade. Sorry, but I'm a little cautious to talk about personal things to a random pony I just met. I hope you don't mind.”
Misty giggled again, oddly enough like Pinkie Pie. “That's okay. I can't stay anyway. But we'll hang out later okay?”
“Why not?” I said. She threw her legs around me in a hug. I felt a very quick sharp pain, sort of like a pin prick at the back of my neck. She let go and waved. “Bye Shade!” She took off into the air. I looked up, rubbing my neck.
“That was weird. Guess I'm just imagining things. She seems rather nice though.” I shook my head. “Hopefully this headache goes away soon.” I disappeared, on my way to Twilight's.
…
Twilight. Is. Evil. It took us 4 hours to clean up the mess in the library she made because she forced me to sort every book my genre, then by name, THEN by alphabet. One book at a time. Grrr. When we finally finished, it was almost 7:15.
“Come on Shade. We'll be late!” Twilight said, going to the front door.
“Well SOMEpony thought it would be a good idea to wreck the library.” I glared at the unicorn. She just smiled and everything disappeared as we both teleported to Sugercube Corner. Well, we landed outside.
“Oops. Guess I missed.” I said.
“It's fine.” Twilight said. “Lets go inside then?”
We walked up and I opened the door. It was rather dark in the store, but as soon as Twilight shut the door, we heard, “SURPRISEEEEE!” Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie leapt out and yelled, turning the lights on. The shop was decorated with streamers and colors everywhere. Not to mention the sweets. Don't even get me STARTED on the sweets. I saw Fluttershy slowly walk out and say, “Hi there, Shade. Surprise.”
“Thanks everypony. This is really nice.” I looked up and saw the banner on the ceiling read, “Welcome to Ponyville, Shade!”
“Yay! We can totally start the party in about 2 mins!” Pinkie yelled bouncing around the room.
“Oh that reminds me Shade!” Twilight said. “Rarity and I have been working on a magical suit for you. Wanna try it on?”
“Why not?” I said. I walked into the middle of the room. Rarity and Twilight lit their horns and sent a blank and pink steam at me. As it wrapped around me, a black suit started to appear around my body.
“OOOhhhh.” The other ponies in the room said. Suddenly, the back of my neck started to horribly hurt.
“Oww! My neck!” I yelped. The unicorns cut the spell but it started to hurt even more. “Ummm, was this supposed to happen?!”
“No!” Twilight said, panicking.
I rose up into the air and then the swirling magic around me turned black. Then, with an explosion the magic burst from my body and I fell to the ground. My vision swirled. When I was able to stand up and focus, I saw all my friends had backed up. “What is it?” I mumbled. “Is there something on my face?”
Nopony said a word. I glanced toward the table where Pinkie had put a bowl of water. I lifted it up and solidified it, effectively turning it into a mirror. I levitated it in front of me and looked at myself. My coat was completely black and my mane was green. My horn was bent and sort of twisted. I looked at my hooves and they had holes though them. Then I knew why my friends wouldn't talk. I knew why I was rather good at magic. And I knew, I knew why I didn't know who my parents were.
I was something that was deemed to be evil. I was something that had almost taken over Canterlot, or at least other ones did. I was something that frightened my friends and made them draw away from me.
I was a changeling.
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Alright ponies, next chapter's up! I was surprised that I wrote this in a night.
Hit me with everything you got! Tell me what you like or don't. Be honest!!!! Next chapter will come soon! 
well that escalated quickly
1379318 Shoot, is that good or bad?!
Not expacted
1379500 Then I've done my job.
1379407
It all depends on how you follow up this nice shock.
Once again, Write longer!!!
I've said this many times already...
1382254 I tried! Grrr. I'll try harder tonight.
She lightly nodded. “Yes. Won't you come in? I'm making some tea and you're welcome to join me.” Not one to turn down an offer of tea, I stepped inside to join her.
Minor edit: this should be two paragraphs, thus:
She lightly nodded. “Yes. Won't you come in? I'm making some tea and you're welcome to join me.”
Not one to turn down an offer of tea, I stepped inside to join her.
Ellipses (those three dots indicating hesitation) are always three dot with spaces between them, like so: [. . .] More dots = bad. No spaces = bad.
“How come you lived in Canterlot all your life?” she softly asked.
Should be "asked softly," and I have a hard time imagining Fluttershy using the phrase "how come." Rainbow Dash, yes; Applejack, probably, but it just doesn't sound right for Fluttershy.
“Twilight! That took me 2 hours!” Spike yelled.
It took us 4 hours to clean up the mess in the library
Generally speaking, you want to write out numbers in dialogue, i.e., "two hours," "four hours."
“Yay! We can totally start the part in about 20 mins!” Pinkie yelled bouncing around the room.
This confuses me. First, is "part" a typo for "party?" If so, why twenty minutes? It looks like it's starting right now!
Overall, pretty good. The pacing seems a little fast, but the story is interesting and readable, and Shade seems a decent OC. My one objection is that he seems a little bland . . . he's reactive more than active, and I can't really say what personality traits he has. AJ is stubborn, RD is hot-headed, Pinkie is hyper, but Shade . . . just is. Not a crippling flaw, but something to keep in mind.
Nice reveal and cliffhanger, BTW! Looking forward to the next chapter.
I need to pull out the beating stick young man SHADE HOW DAR U BE HUH CHANLHIN!
1386101 Guess I was focusing too hard on getting the Mane 6's emotions right I forgot about Shade. Oops
I plan to write somemore tonight, so I can work on that. And I'll edit what I need too.
You liked the reveal? Good, because that's the part I was worried the most about.
Next chapter oughta be fun! 
1386501 You'll be finding out soon!
MINDFUCK!>?? err-cough, glad I spit that out, By the way you fail to describe his eye color? is it blue like the normal changelings or green like Chrysalis'?
1387306 In his changeling form, Shade's right eye is purple and his left eye is red.
Edit: Yellow. His left eye is yellow.
1386101 Consider it all edited. BTW, do you have any ideas for Shade's overall personality trait?
1388061
He's sort of coming across as a scholarly type, not unlike Twilight (the whole deal where Celestia has him practicing magic, and how casually he seems to take it). Really, though, I advise against thinking in terms of a single personality trait. Well-written characters are nearly as complex as real humans.
Consider Best Pony:
She's stubborn, prideful, and a little hot-tempered. She disdains "fancy mathematics," and was willing to endanger her family's livelihood in Applebuck Season rather than admit she needed help.
She's also courageous, loyal, dependable, hardworking, humble, and honest as the day is long. She's the first to admit when she's wrong, which is not always an easy task, and she's deeply devoted to her family. She has a good sense of humor, and shows no indication of looking down on Twilight for being an egghead, despite her own lesser education level.
She considered Rarity fussy and girly, but grew to appreciate the occasional spa visit. She doesn't care a fig about some good honest dirt on her hooves, but she'll gladly dress up fancy and braid her tail for a big event. She walks around stark naked, but honestly appreciates the clothes Rarity makes for her.
AJ is not a simple character, but she feels like a very real character. It's impossible to sum her up in one or two personality traits.
Shade, hopefully, should be like that. You don't have to figure all this out immediately, but consider what his life has been like - raised by Celestia as a foster son, secluded in Canterlot, unsocialized but not unloved. Add traits as they become apparent - as the character reveals them to you - and remember traits that have already been established.
Nice plot twist, so he would now be a "son of the queen" then? Lawl jk, but really nice update. But you add more depths into you characters, if not add some cons into your hero. From a stand-point he basically went though the same foot steps as Twilight in regards to being a protégé and living a mostly-secluded-life, he should have negative qualities such as awkward sociability or something that reflects the fact. It'll help make things interesting, if not shows that even the protagonist is not perfect. Hope this helps and i mean no ill-will towards you.
Keep up the good work, best regards
What was AppleJack planning on having Shade doing?
I knew it!