Monday: A whole new world... and it sucks.
This game of Ogres and Oubliettes was intense, or so it was supposed to be. Spike and Big Macintosh were struggling with the many terrifying monsters encountered in the game whilst Discord was plowing through any and all adversity with little to no effort. Now faced with a mighty dragon, it was time for the God of chaos to roll the dice. Can he slay the dragon, or will he be burnt to ashes?
“Roll the dice, Spike.” he said, slumping back in his chair with a cold drink in hand. He had a smug smile plastered all over his face.
“Sure thing.” The young dragon rolled the dice. “4, the dragon gobbles you up, you die. Told you it wasn’t a good idea to face a dragon like that.”
Discord spat his drink all over the floor and leaned on the table. “What?! But how?”
“What do you mean how? Its luck based, why were you so confident in letting me roll the dice?”
The draconequus realised he screwed up and sealed his lips shut, literally.
“I knew it! Your dices are loaded, Discord! That’s why for this roll, I used MY dice and would you look at that. You didn’t score a nat 20.”
“Oh pish posh! I’m no cheater, right Big Mac?”
“E-Nope.”
Spike facepalmed. “Discord, this is the third time you’ve been caught cheating. When are you going to play by the rules?”
“Okay fine, I’ll stop being a dirty cheater.” Discord said as he threw away a book titled ‘The Ultimate Cheater’s Guidebook’.
“Let’s forget about this and play another round of Ogres and Oubliettes.”
The young dragon wasn’t convinced that Discord’s words were genuine. “We’ll play again, but only on one condition.”
Discord chuckled. “Oh really? And that condition is?” He stretched his head towards Spike, looking at him straight in the eyes with a smug expression.
“You gotta spend a whole week in the human world.”
The draconequus remained still, arms crossed and completely silent. After a few seconds, he impatiently looked at his watch, whom he had just materialised out of thin air.
Spike was surprised to be met with silence. “Nothing? I thought you were going to say something.”
“What’s the twist, Spike?”
“The twist?” Spike shook his head. “There’s no twist. You’ll just spend one week there and that’s it. Sunset Shimmer will make sure you don’t leave too soon.”
Discord busted into laughter. “Oh wow! How dreadful! This is way too cruel of a punishment!” he began to mockingly imitate a fainting mare, placing a spotlight on him for dramatic effect.
Big Mac leaned close to Spike. “Uh, how is that supposed to punish him?”
“Magic works differently in the human world. Something tells me Discord will have trouble adjusting to it.” He explained with a confident smile.
Discord stood up and snapped away the spotlight. “Alright, when do I start your so-called punishment?”
Spike shrugged. “I don’t know, how about now? I’ll notify Sunset Shimmer about this. She’ll write periodically so I’ll know if you ever try to leave prematurely.”
“Oh Spike, why would I ever do that?” Discord said in a sinister tone.
Spike, however, seemed unfazed by the sinister aura around the draconequus. “I can think of a few reasons...”
“Spike? Why is Discord going to the human world?”
Twilight was perplexed to say the least. She was after all missing some context here.
“Discord cheated again and this time, I’m going to punish him. That’s pretty much it.” Spike responded in a neutral voice.
“Come on, we can’t just use the portal willy nilly like tha-” The memories of all the dumb stuff Discord pulled over the years flooded her mind. The fake disease, the Tirek incident, the trying to banish a mare to the shadow realm incident, you name it. There were too many to count on one hoof, then again there usually aren’t fingers on hooves. “On second thought, I’ll allow it.” she said with a smirk.
“Aw gee, thanks for being a good sport, Twilight.” Discord said, materialising a sports shirt on himself just because he thought he was funny back there. I don’t think he’s as funny as he thinks he is, what with his stupid dad jokes and all... Oh sorry, I may be getting too distracted.
The portal opened, signaling to the draconequus that it was time to go. Twilight started giggling, struggling to keep her laughter in. “Have fun in the human world! We’ll be looking forward to your return!”
“I sure will!” Discord flew straight in the portal in a relaxed posture which was meant to be a taunt to Spike but that didn’t bother him whatsoever. Humans can’t fly and Discord will soon learn about it.
“I can’t wait to hear how it went for him. It’ll surely be a total disaster.” said the young dragon.
“Yeah, something tells me he’ll be in for a rude awakening.”
On the other side, the portal began to light up and out came Discord.
“Hello human wor-” Before he could finish his sentence, his face came into contact with the floor, and that hurt. Surprised, the draconequus got up and noticed that his body has changed. Gone was the amalgamation of different animals forming his body parts, replaced instead with a simple and cohesive body... of a hairless monkey. He had become, a human. These were creatures he had heard about from Twilight, creatures he imagined would be quite disgusting. I mean, mammals are usually known for being furry and humans are, well, the total opposite.
“Okay, guess I'm not immune to this. Oh well, it doesn’t change much in the end. Let’s have some fun, shall we? First, I’ll fix my appearance.” he snapped his finger and waited. Nothing happened. Perplexed, he snapped his finger again. Nothing. He snapped it again, this time more impatiently. Nothing happened and now it was getting on his nerves. “Gn?! Why isn’t this working?!”
“Oh hey, I suppose you must be Discord.” That voice belonged to none other than Sunset Shimmer, who must have received Spike’s message.
“Hm? A new face. Oh let me guess... you must be Sunset Shimmer.” Discord said, trying to hide his irritation from her by taking on a more relaxed and confident posture.
“Good guess! It seems Twilight must have talked a lot about me back in Equestria. Anyway, I’m here to give you a helping hand in this world. It certainly takes a lot of adjusting to, what with the whole no magic thing in here. That and the fact that we’re bipedal though I suppose you were already walking on two legs.”
Discord felt his heart sink. “Hold on just a minute, did you just say no magic?”
“Well, kinda. Magic doesn’t work the same way here. So far, we found out that music seems to trigger our magic. But sometimes, something else entirely can trigger it, like doing something we like. Then, there's magical geodes we found in caves but that doesn't even have any correlation to the previous magic... I don’t know how magic actually works in here.” explained Sunset Shimmer in a nervous giggle.
Discord tried to snap his finger and was horrified to realise that his magic wasn’t working. He couldn’t do his usual shenanigans without his chaotic magic. How could he, the almighty and powerful god of chaos and discord, spend an entire week without his defining trait? The answer: he couldn’t. "So no magic then..." Yeah, he probably didn't listen to the whole rant about magic.
Discord ran back to the statue only to ram into it, which was unexpected. Wasn’t this a gateway to Equestria? He reached out to touch the mysterious portal only to be met with stone. He can’t pass through. He can’t go back home. Oh snap! He really has no way home until a full week has passed.
“Why isn’t this working? Why can’t I leave?” he said while simultaneously trying to hide the growing stress in his voice.
“The portal only works if it’s activated on the other side, so yeah... you’ll need to contact Twilight if you want to leave but I've been told not to let you go until a week has passed.”
Discord’s jaw dropped. “D’oh! You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Now he understood why Spike thought it would be fitting to send him here. Gotta give credit where it’s do, it was a smart idea coming from the youngster.
“Hey now, this world isn’t so bad once you get used to it. Sure, there’s not much magic to go around but there is technology, significantly better technology than in Equestria. Take a look at this.” Sunset pulled out her phone and showed some of its features to the now humanised draconequus.
After a short showcase, it was clear that Discord wasn’t very impressed. “And that is supposed to compensate for my little problem of NO MAGIC?” he said with his arms crossed.
“Aw Discord, I’m sure you’ll do just fine. You’re only here for a week, after that you’ll be able to use your magic back in Equestria. Come on, give this place a chance! I’m sure it’ll grow on you.”
“The only thing that’s growing onto me is my frustration.” After pouting for a moment, Discord responded. “Fine, I’ll try. What is there to do around this pitiful world anyway?”
“Well, there is-”
The bell rang, causing Sunset to quickly check her phone. Recess was over and it was time to go back to class. “Bad timing. I need to go to my class! Why don’t you join me, you wouldn’t want to be left on your own, right?”
Class? That simple word caused Discord to raise an eyebrow. “You go to high school yet you’re just as old as Twilight? Why? That’s just weird.”
“I’m sure you won’t find it weird if I tell you that I need to finish high school and college in this world in order to get a job. I don’t really have a choice. Also, I turn into a teenager when crossing the portal. Don’t ask me why, nobody truly has the answers.”
“I’m not sure I even want to know how and why that happens. Thankfully I have not transformed into a teenager, though I wished I could have looked a little younger.”
Inside Canterlot High, Sunset and Discord weaved through the horde of students stumbling through the school. Since Discord looked like an old man and he was following a teenage girl on top of that, he earned many weird looks and side eyes from the students and faculty members.
“Is it really that weird for someone like me to stumble in here?” he asked in an irritated voice. He was clearly not used to being looked upon an unfavorable angle. Most ponies would rather hoof fight a pack of timberwolves than to look at him the wrong way.
“Everybody knows you don’t work here so... yeah, it’s kinda weird for you to follow me around like a lost puppy. Look, you even have the looks of one.” she opened her camera on her phone and showed it to Discord.
The now old man cringed. “Oh dear, I really have this expression on my face? Gee, no wonder everyone looks at me like I'm a weirdo. Grah, if only I had my magic, I’d show them just how cool I, Discord, can truly be.”
Sunset Shimmer rubbed the back of her head. “I’m sure they’ll think you’re cool even without your magic.”
Discord crossed his arms. “Pff, I sure ho-”
A familiar looking girl walked up to them, catching the attention of the ex-draconequus immediately. Was it the color of her skin? Her hair perhaps, he definitely saw that hairstyle before. “Hey Sunset! Who’s this guy?”
“Flutter-”
“This is Discord. He also comes from Equestria, and I heard that he’s really close to you there, as a friend of course.” quickly explained Sunset.
Fluttershy probably could have guessed the latter considering the old man was staring at her with an immense amount of relief.
“Maybe this week won’t be so bad after all.” he muttered to himself.
Fluttershy, not really knowing how to respond, awkwardly laughed. “Uh, p-pleased to meet you, Mister Discord.”
“Oh no no no. You can just call me Discord, like the Fluttershy in Equestria does. I may be older than you but that doesn’t mean you have to speak formally with me. We’re friends, right?”
“Oh, y-yeah.”
Sunset smiled at Discord, happy to see him being more open to this world. “See? I told you this world isn’t as bad as it first seems. There’s still plenty more for you to see.”
Discord dropped his jovial expression. “Like what?”
“Excuse me sir.” Another familiar voice caught his attention. This voice belonged to a pearly white alicorn he loved to mess with back in Equestria. Princess Celestia, except in here, she was just the principal of a high school. Lame. “I suppose you’re here to apply for the position as a history teacher.”
“Huh? Me, a history teacher? Oh, don’t make me-”
“Of course! He’d very much like to apply!” interrupted Sunset Shimmer, much to Discord’s surprise.
“What?”
Principal Celestia gave the old man the warmest smile she could muster and said. “Wonderful! We are short on staff for the moment, so I can’t express enough how grateful I am for your help! You’ll see, this school’s a lot of fun to teach.” She gave Discord a light tap on the shoulder before motioning at him to follow her.
Before he did anything, he glared at Sunset. “Don’t think I’m going to let this slide.”
Sunset responded with an upbeat attitude. “Give it a chance. I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun teaching!”
“Pff, I’d rather be the school’s principal.”
“Like I said, give it a chance, Discord. Who knows, you might even get the opportunity to teach Fluttershy.” Oh yes, Sunset just hit the Fluttershy button, causing Discord to immediately shift in attitude.
“Teach... Fluttershy?” he giggled to himself before regaining his composure. “Fine then, I’ll agree to this.”
“So, can you tell me about your resume, Mister Discord?” Celestia asked calmly right as Discord took a seat.
“My resume?” Uh, god of chaos, evil dictatorship, messing with reality itself, banishing ponies to the shadow realm, maybe not a good idea to mention these. At least he had something else under his belt! Which was... okay, maybe he hasn’t really done much teaching or even held a job for that matter. From the looks of it, this might be the draconequus’ first job ever! “I, uh, worked at an animal shelter. I must admit, I did a stellar job in there.” That he did... sorta. Fluttershy did the heavy lifting.
“Oh? I see, so you know how to take good care of animals, but students are very different. I feel silly for even pointing it out but it’s important to know that at their age, you must be delicate with how you treat them. Talking down to them might get them angry and thus, miss the point of your lecture while being too lenient will make them shirk their homework and studies. Got that?”
The muffled sound of fingers snapping echoed behind Discord’s chair. Grah! Still doesn’t work. “O-Oh, yeah. I understood it all, dear.”
Principal Celestia smiled before pulling out a bunch of documents. “That’s great to hear! Now if you don’t mind, your first day shall commence right now. You see, we uh, have a history class coming up with no teacher to deliver the lesson. It’s going to start in thirty minutes, so I strongly advise you get acquainted with the notes I just gave you, you’re going to need them.”
Discord stared at the pile in horror. “Oh poo... I’ll get you for this, Spike.”
Monday:
First day on the job, all he has to do is read this huge pile of notes and assimilate the lesson at hand before the students come pouring in. Easy... if he could stop time to get it all done under thirty minutes, but sadly, as a human he has no cool magic at his side. “Argh, this sucks on ice! I shouldn’t have agreed to that little rascal’s punishment! I hate to admit, but I underestimated him. Now, I find myself stuck with an awful job in another world that is lame compared to Equestria. Pff, at least I still have Fluttershy, well, somewhat.”
Finally, the students entered the classroom and Discord watched in discontent. This feeling only grew stronger when he saw a peculiar girl rush in. She had rainbow-colored hair and light blue skin accompanied by violet eyes. Now where has he seen that before? Rainbow Dash?! You’ve gotta be kidding me.
But hold on a minute, Discord. You’re the teacher and she’s the student, this means you are in a higher position of power.
Oh sweet! I get to mess with her for an hour straight. This will be fun!
The teacher stood up and greeted his class with surprisingly less disdain than he imagined. Then, he started his lecture about Canterlot city’s history, he memorised it rather quickly although he couldn’t care less about this rotten place. The class went on without anything notable happening, except for when Discord spotted something he desperately wanted to see.
Rainbow Dash... wasn’t paying attention to his lesson. As a teacher, it is his job to punish bad students. Oh yes!
“Rainbow Dash, do you know who won the motorbike race in 2004?” he asked in a deceptively calm voice that hid malicious intentions.
“H-huh?”
Before she could even proceed what he had just asked her, Discord threw a chalk at her. The small object collided with her forehead with enough force to cause pain.
“Ow!” Rainbow Dash grasped at the injured spot. A reddish spot appeared on her forehead right where the chalk hit her.
“Now, if you were paying attention, you could have dodged it.” scolded Discord with strong hints of sadistic pleasure behind his voice. Hohoho! Hehe, this is too much fun!
Sunset, who was sitting next to Dash, leaned close to her and whispered. “You know, if you had more proficiency, you could have dodged that chalk.”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “I get the reference.”
The hours flew back and before Discord knew it, the day was over. The students went to their respective locker to grab their stuff and leave, and teachers breathed a sigh of relief, happy to finally go back home while Discord realised that he had run out of chalks.
“Well, that's disappointing. I should get more for tomorrow...” He was also disappointed for he had hoped to spend to more time with Fluttershy, but she didn’t have any history class for today.
“Discord?” Sunset Shimmer went back to check on him apparently.
“Hm? Shouldn’t you be with your ‘friend’ group?”
“Yeah, but I figured I couldn’t leave you there.”
“Oh please! I’m not a sassy lost child. I’m a sassy NOT lost draconequus stuck in a hairless monkey’s body.”
Sunset laughed. “Oh no! It’s not about that! You need a place to sleep and since you don’t really have any money, I figured I should let you sleep at my place for the week.”
“Oh how nice to give a stranger like me such special treatment. Well, let’s see what kind of house you live in.”
With cool methods of transportation like cars, Discord was more or less disappointed to go to Sunset Shimmer’s apartment... on foot. At least her place isn’t so bad. I mean, it’s relatively small, but it’s cozy and has a certain warmth to it. But nothing can compare to Fluttershy’s cottage. Oh, nothing in the world can!
“Hmpf, not bad. Could certainly be better but... that’ll do.”
“I’m sure it’ll grow on you, Discord. It certainly did to me.”
“Yeah yeah whatever. You brought me here, so surely that means you’ve got a bed worthy of a might draconequus like me?”
Sunset stayed silent for a moment, causing one of Discord’s eyes to twitch nervously. “I, uh, have a couch..?”
“Oh come on!”
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this is gonna be fun.
I may need that.
Shadow realm?
I just realized something. In the first equestria girls movie sunset taunted twilight about not knowing how equestrian magic in the human world, right?
So many questions that were never answered.
Did they quit?
Isn’t that how the school was taken over?
11591882
No, she taunted Twilight for not knowing what would happen when you bring an element of harmony into the human world. Though, the issue with that is how would she know about that? I doubt there are other worlds where ponies have done so for it to be known. Another question is why would the crown turn her into a demon. Seems like the opposite of what an element of harmony would do. Oh, right, because there has to be a huge showdown in your forced contrived movie. Like you said Equestria girls is filled with unanswered questions. Questions that I doubt would actually have good answers even if they were answered, but I digress.
11591903
Was it also ever explained how the crown brainwashed her?
This is an unfair button to press.
11592040
I don’t get it.
Oh dear, Rainbow as teh Dashing Rogue getting clocked by an attack of opportunity? Angle bunny is laughing at her.
As for Pinkie?
Discord hasnt noticed her standing behind him yet?
11592159
It's a Persona 5 reference.
external-preview.redd.it/rPO-zMSUa_w6XgQc6eNtViQIFIN-bSO_eF-UQipOUC8.png?format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3a79b521d346fb69684a0e17656886dab85c676
11592236
Oh ok
Why not chem or phys? Or math. All of them have concept of entropy.