Son of a good man, child of an angel, & brother of a Wild One! ‘Nuff said.
Sweetie Belle spends and afternoon with Twilight. Noticing that the mare is a bit downtrodden, Sweetie decides to tickle her to cheer her up. But the laughter doesn’t stop there.
[A/N: this is occurs before Twilight becomes an Alicorn.]
Constructive criticism is welcome, and definitely appreciated.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Pretty cute story! I only have two pieces of advice. The first one is probably the more important one, which is you really could have had this all be one chapter, maybe two at most. Each chapter should have at least a thousand words, and there's no need to separate a semi short story into 5 chapters. Second thing, I think the tickling scenes should have been longer, especially Twilight's, since it was said to be three whole hours. Aside from that the quality itself was much better than I expected, so good job.
11575508
Ok! Thanks for the tip.
I’m glad you liked my story.
11575508
I suppose the reason I made it a multi-chapter story was because a former friend on mine (on this site) recommended shorter chapters. TBH, I was just beginning writing, too.
11575590
Short chapters is alright, but not TOO short. I think 1000 words per chapter usually works pretty well, especially for the first chapter.
11575592
Ahhh. I see.
Thank you for the criticism. I’m always looking to improve myself.
11575597
Like I said, the quality itself was way better than I was expecting, so I have no doubt that you'll get a lot better
Man I must read too much dark stuff cause I really thought this might turn bad. Nope! Just a cute little fic. Not bad. There were some errors here and there, but nothing too egregious.
Good job.
11736917
Hoofprintz,
Thanks man.
Oh this is cute.
Cute. Have a fave.
11847927
Thanks, man! I appreciate it very much!