Despite the many problems sisters can encounter, they stay linked. Rarity learns, to her own expense, that she should have treated her sister better, as to not find herself with that vague half-robotic copy holding her sister's soul.
This was like, my second "big" story. Started in July 2014, the second chapter was published in August of the same year. The last one was done in February 2019, after a lot of personal trouble with writting.
Still one of my favorite stories. Despite its flaws.
Writing playlist for this fic: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4NEmE5H4n7FfZvfzJfhbQrCTHgGeNQgb
Chapters (3)
Can someone explain where the Sweetiebot nonsense came from?
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The abridged series Frienship is Witchcraft, that I can only recommend! Great humor (altought sometimes a bit slow) and greats songs! You can tell Sweetie Bot was one of the best part since it took off on its own in the early days.
Here's the playlist : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8cGaJKvM_-5lkA0h_cwWxYrC-fc27apd
I think Sweetie Bot shows up at ep 4
this is nice story and the question it asks pretty common but important nontheless. Keep it up author we-re hoping for an update! <3
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Thank you very much ^^
The chapters are pretty long so I can't promise anything, but it'll try to have it ready in two weeks.
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no worries we all have lifes, take ypur time ;3
XD I know it's a typo but it's so fucking funny!
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Oh dang, my bad x) Thank you
From reading the whole way through, I'd implore you to work on finding in alot of places where past tense is used where it shouldn't, and vise versa. Other than that, the story in the first chapter reads like almost a synapses of a whole mutli-chalter story plot with important events lengthened only a little from the rest. Would be nice in some kind of reright in the future to expand that chapter into multiple with more character development of both puppet and rarity, as well as a more concretely astablished 'how' to say, where the fuck is puppet getting the resources and funding for what he's doing? Maybe he's an engineer or owner of a fast growing robotics company that had been under public radar or something.
There's a good plot here but I just feel there could be so much more you could expand on to give more of a reason to it all rather than the last minute reasoning that it feels like with the current story.
Your tapping the surface, so get deeper in there, and have fun doing it!
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It's really hard to get the tenses properly, French tenses are already a mess as well. In day to day life, there's a 1-1 correspondance pretty much, but not in narration, so, yeah, struggling a bit x) Feel like I'm improving tho.
And well, the story is only 3 chapters long and has been over since like 4 years and I don't really plan on touching it again. I just wanted to talk about Sweetie Bot's problems and pay another little tribute to this iconic character. If I were to rewrite it, I would start all over again, and I'm not planning on doing it soon because of everything I have on the side and already ongoing projects.
(Like, there's an explanation for Puppet and all, a bit more is told in the next chapters, but I focus on the drama here. I could probably go for a 100-200k words story, sure, had the ideas for that from the start. But, well, I'd need to write everything in french first, then translate, and with my current level in english I'm still a bit apprehensive about translating a really long story. That's why I'm going with the shorter ones first.)
(now that I think about it, I could just write in english from the start... Seems to flow better if I'm not to strict with myself about staying faithful to the original)
Thanks for the comment, it's good to have a feedback after like 3 years without any ^^
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Well, I like seeing people improve, and I can understand having a story in your head for years on end and just wanting to have it written already XD. still working on mine but I'm a world-builder at heart so there's a lot of ideas I'm shoving into the nooks and crannies.
I would have been heartbroken if Sweetie actually died this time...
Great chapter, by the way! I'd offer to be a beta reader for you, but school takes up a lot of time. However I recommend Myrkur as one for you. He's good.
PS: He's been offline a lot so you might have a hard chance of getting him to be your beta reader.
She was mourned years ago, now she is simply... gone.
Not sure if this is a bad ending but I count it as a bad ending.
A good story though.
I’m not too sure how I feel about this story after everything. It’s just…empty. There were certainly things I enjoyed about it, but man, I’m struggling to really come to a definitive opinion on this.
I’m trying to ignore the grammar and speech patterns not really fitting the characters very well, which I want to give a pass since I know it isn’t the easiest to nail down (especially if English isn’t your first language).
The overall tone and ending is…more bitter than bittersweet, I think. It doesn’t sit as well as bittersweet in my opinion.
I think I’ll have to keep neutral on my rating of this story. I’m just too conflicted.
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Thanks for the comment. While I won't touch the original story itself, I'll try to go back to it and correct the grammar mistakes and then some. I always thought of doing more with that story, when I was writting it. Maybe some chapters about Sweetie's life and all. To make it seem brighter. But I wrote it when I was at a low point in my writing carreer. Took years and at some point I just wanted to end it so I could call it a day. So, yeah, idk. I still like the end product.
Thank you for going to the end and giving me your feedback. It is very much appreciated.