• Published 26th Sep 2012
  • 48,619 Views, 4,414 Comments

No, I Am Not A Brony, Get Me Outta Equestria! - BronyWriter

  • ...

Non Canon Deleted Scene: Hellfire

Hearths Warming Eve is here and for ponies everywhere what a treat it is. It really does remind me a lot of Christmas, but I guess that's kind of the idea. Although, to hear Twilight explain it's a holiday celebrating the origins of Equestria itself. She said something about how the three rulers got together with their smarter aides and made peace between the tribes. Huh, aides who are smarter than the actual leaders. How all too frequent.

At any rate, I find myself currently sitting in my house, lying down on my bed and waiting for Twilight and Co to come so we can all go to some big Hearths Warming Eve pageant or something like that. Most of the town has already show up so I expect that it'll start soon enough. In fact, I can hear the town starting something up now. Upon further inspection, it sounds like they're singing. Go figure.

Wait... it sounds like sad singing. Sad? Who could be sad on this oh-so not Christmas holiday? I mean, from what Pinkie Pie has been saying, this sounds like the greatest holiday of the year, so why would any of their carols be sad?

No, wait, they're not singing sad songs, this one sounds almost like it's reminiscent. Like they're remembering something.

Remembering. It makes me think of my time back on Earth. It makes me think of the people I left there, it makes me think of the Christmases that I used to share with them. It makes me remember my good friend Kristy. She was my best friend back on Earth and the two of us would get into all sorts of wacky trouble. But then, she would always be there for me when I needed to rant to somebody. Gosh, I remember the phone conversations we had and how I would just rant to her for a solid hour and I remember that I always felt so good afterwards.

Celestia took that from me. I don't have anybody here to rant to, not anybody who would truly understand. The Mane Six, well, they would be sympathetic, but they wouldn't truly understand what I had and what I lost. Kristy would. She would have helped me stay sane through all of this, more so than even the kids I teach here.

Wait... uh-oh. No, no, no, this isn't good.


I think I feel a song coming on.

Crap, so this must be the 'magic of music' that Twilight was talking about. Shoot, I gotta fight it. I can't burst out into song, that would be utterly ridiculous. I am not the kind of guy that just randomly bursts out into song, I...I...I...


Slowly I realize that I have to give in. I have to sing some stupid song or else this feeling won't go away.

With a sigh, I slowly stand up from my bed and walk up to my window. I see the town walking by, still singing their reminiscent carol. I bow my head slightly and do the unthinkable.

"Beata, O Kristy,
You know I'm not a hateful man
Of this fact I feel I'm justly proud."

Oh, good, it's a villain song. My favorite kind.

Beata O Kristy,
you know I was taught to emulate
this loving, carefree, tolerating crowd.

Man, am I going to get sued for copyright infringement when I get back home.

"Then tell me, O Kristy,
why I see her standing there?
Why her kindly eyes still taunt my soul?!"

The crowd is moving by more now. The Mane Six should be here any minute and here I am singing a villain song about what I feel about Celestia. That'll look good if they find out.

"I see her, I hate her
The sun makes up her very hair
this feeling's in me
out of all control!"

And here it comes.

"Like fire!
That hatred in my skin
This burning desire
Is turning me to sin!

Immediately I find myself out of my house and in the middle of the Everfree Forest. The entire village of Ponyville is surrounding me, staring at me and judging me for how I feel about Celestia. They are all dressed in solid black which would be cool if it wasn't so intimidating.

"It's not my fault!"

"Love and tolerate!"

"I'm not to blame!"

"Love and tolerate!"

"It is Celestia,
the jerk who set this flame!:

"Always love and tolerate!"

"It's not my fault!"

"Love and tolerate!"

If in Faust's plan."

"Love and tolerate!"

"She made her ponies so much stronger than a man!"

"Always love and tolerate!"

I'm back in my house now. The Everfree Forest has faded away. It's just me and my emotions now.

"Protect me, O Kristy
Don't let this Goddess cast her spell
Don't let her plans control my flesh and bone!
Destroy Princess Celestia,
and let her taste my wrath from hell!
Or else let her be kind and send me home!"

Immediately I am brought out of my song by knocking on my door. Who is it?

I sigh and slowly open the door to reveal the smiling Mane Six, all looking like tonight will be the best night of their lives.

"Hey, TD," says Twilight. "Are you ready to go?"

Gosh darn it, I haven't finished my song. That music feeling is still eating away at my innards. I manage to flash them a small smile.

"Uh, give me a few minutes. I'm not 100% ready yet."

"Oh, what do you still need to do?" asks Rarity. I grit my teeth a little bit at the question.

"Uh...it's just..." To my horror, Pinkie Pie of all ponies shoots me a knowing smile.

"I think I heard singing in here," she says slyly. "Were you doing a song?"

"No!" I say a little too quickly. "I'm just..."

Yeah, she's not buying it. Her smile is still as wide as ever.

"You were singing, weren't you, TD?"

Immediately smiles form on the faces of the other members of the Mane Six. Gosh darn it, they know. A scowl immediately crosses my face and I try to back into my house.

"Come on, sugar cube, it ain't that bad," says Applejack. "I mean, we sing all the time. It's the magic of music!"

"I know what it is," I retort. "I just... just give me a minute and I'll be right out."

"Oh take your time, darling. The program doesn't start for another half hour."

I grumble out a half response and walk back into my house, being sure to close the door behind me. I'm a tad worried that they'll be able to hear what I'm singing but I just want to get the song over with so I can put this whole embarrassing affair behind me.

I clear my throat once the door is closed. Where was I? Oh yes, that's right.

"Hellfire, dark fire,
Celestia it's your turn!
Send me home
or keep my ire
send me home or you will BURN!!!!"

Thank goodness this is almost over.

"Faust have mercy on her."

They're probably really freaked out out there.

God have mercy on me.

I can't really blame them.

But she will send me home or




And with that the song ends and the 'magic of music' bologna feeling ends. Thank goodness.

I sigh and slowly walk out the door where, sure enough, the Mane Six all have looks of absolute horror on their faces. I manage another small scowl as I walk past them.

"I'm ready to go," I mumble.

"Uh, TD," says Applejack, "would you mind explainin' what--"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Author's Note:

Hey look, I have stuff down here too.

All I can say is, stay tuned for 'TD Trolls the Canterlot Intellectual Elite'.

Thanks for reading!

This is, of course, this song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyS3weMlxLA