• Member Since 25th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 22nd, 2017

TheBrownBrony


T

The war had been hard on everypony. Most had lost loved ones, many had lost homes, and some had lost everything. Equestria was in hell and if the ponies didn't resist, they died. Without exception. There are precious few ponies left with the spirit to fight, but while they live, while they breath, while they hope, no pony is defeated, and the war rages on. The war of Black Days.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 8 )

Might want to switch that in the description with "love for friend or loyalty for country."

Hmm... Interesting.
As Element of Loyalty, it does seem plausible that Dash would break and flip after Soarin's death. My only thought is that, based on RD and Pinkie's first conversation, along with Rainbow having a strong connection to both camps, Dash would be so torn up by the end that she would be more likely to simply stand up and take the bullet rather than try to escape. I believe you could draw out the tension and Pinkie's inner rage farther this way as well; however, just an opinion.
*insert Simon Cowell emote here*
Side note; I like the recurring theme of "Click, Bang." Shows a colder, more calculated side of Pinkie Pie that we only see a couple times in the show.

Job well done

Thanks for the advice. =) I'll fix the description quick. The insight into RD is also a good one. I'm not actually a big brony, right now I'm mostly just using them as a basis for writing, so my characters aren't always the most accurate. It's good for me to get insight as far as this, thanks again!

Hi! I'm back! Sorta....
The story:
So, how it goes is this. I started writing closer to the beginning of the school year, right? And wrote Click (thanks for the comments and support!). It was good. I started writing more a bit later. But you see, I'm a theater kid. And a choir kid. I'm president of my writers' club (You'd think this wouldn't be a hindrance; you'd be surprised). I'm part of a touring jazz choir. I take a full load of classes (half advanced placement). And I participate in various contests throughout the year. Add this to college prep and you end up with a person who has no time whatsoever! Hooray! <-Not really. At any rate, I wrote most of this in a free weekend that I had sometime around Christmas. Then my thought was "I'll totally edit this!" And then months past. I edited a little bit and finally actually finished the story to the ending now posted. Hooray! <-Really. But then I was like, "I can totally add more to this! Make it deeper! Try to achieve something with a little more weight, right? Yeah! That'll be awesome!" More months of waiting. Then I was like, "Y'know what, I'll just post it!" But then I was like, "No! It isn't good enough! The people who take their time to read my stuff deserve better!" And that leads to now, when I've decided that you deserve more than nothing and thus get this. I'm sorry, it's not my most polished work, but I really do hope you enjoy it. I'll try and /actually/ write more when summer rolls around. 'Til then, thanks for reading!

Artful themes and poetic language. Could use some work on format, pacing, and consistency, but otherwise it's good. Keep going.

Huh, found this story bookmarked on my iphone. Not bad.

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