Big Mac Attack
Watching Rainbow Dash eat Granny’s homemade pancakes was like watching a category five hurricane make landfall. It was tremendous and humbling, and yet one couldn’t help but secretly cheer it on, just to see how far it could go.
The first stack of syrupy goodness fell to the knife and the fork like so much dust in the wind, and still she showed no signs of slowing. Her table manners were just about on par with Apple Bloom’s. Just about.
Granny dropped a fresh pancake to Big Mac’s own plate and said something about the pleasure of seeing good appetites, though the stallion didn’t quite catch this on account of the noisy display.
Applejack chuckled, propping her chin up on a hoof. “You just got back from a desert island or something, Rainbow?”
The pegasi’s teeth gnashed in vicious mastication. “Pretty much,” she muttered around it all. “You ever try cooking for yourself?”
Applejack only gave her a deadpan expression, which rapidly warmed into a smile. “Yeah, all the time. Cause I can actually cook, remember?”
The hurricane stumbled for a second and blinked. “Oh, right.” Then, with great gusto, she returned to terrorizing the pancakes. Likewise Big Mac chewed through his own, pondering. He wasn’t all that hungry; it seemed to him that most every mare he’d run across that day had insisted on feeding him.
That being what it was, when ponies said ‘there’s always room for dessert’ what they meant was, even if they had no way to know they meant it, actually this: 'There may be room somewhere for dessert, but there’s a penthouse suite with free parking and baggage storage for Granny’s homemade pancakes, because they are so full of sweetness, warmth and love that windigoes would melt and changelings catch fire in their mere presence.’
So Big Mac ploughed on through his plate like he would through a field on the finest of spring days, because they were, after all, quite good.
He even started the dishes afterwards. Running water and shifting bubbles contrasted with ever greater feats of burping in the background, seeing as his sister and her friend had become suddenly entangled in a belching contest. Nopony was entirely sure how it had started, and neither contestant claimed that dubious honour, only saying things like “well I know it’s foolish, but if she really thinks she can do better than me...”
Granny smiled and gave him a wink, then left him to his devices.
“That...was good. That was amazing,” Dash reiterated, passing verdict for all the universe to hear. She groaned and leaned back in her chair, then scratched at her belly absentmindedly. She certainly wasn’t going to be flying any races today, if the rotund curve found there had anything to say.
Nor hound Big Mac about the challenge for that matter, he realized.
Sometimes it scared him, how clever his Granny could be. He glanced at the last pancake left. He could have sworn it winked back at him.
Applejack caught his looking awry at it. “You alright there?”
“Ey...” he started, but this was no near-slip, but a carefully measured experiment. Slowly, cautiously lest it go horribly wrong, he pinched off the sound down to a sort of ‘mhm’ and nod. That done, he turned as surreptitiously as he could to Rainbow Dash, whom hadn’t even lifted a hoof in protest to his apparent near-miss. Indeed, her hooves rested on her belly like two picnickers enjoying themselves upon having met atop a hill. She yawned.
“Remind me to steal your grandma, okay?” she said, yawning and chuckling.
Applejack rolled her eyes, passing the last of the dishes still to be done to her brother. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”
Big Mac put the dishes to the sink, but didn’t start cleaning these just yet. “Miss Dash,” he started cautiously, fully aware that the generally genteel connotation of the word were somewhat out of place when applied to the pegasus. “Miss Dash,” he verbally prodded again.
“Hmm? Yeah?” She turned over slightly to face him, though a better word would have been slumped.
The stallion inhaled sharply between his teeth, picking and chewing his words like he would a stalk of hay. “About how much of a cloud would it take to make a pond, you reckon?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged, which meant the motion started in her shoulders and ended up as a rolling ripple of temporary stomach flab. She yawned again, and idly kneaded the bulk of her belly around for comfort. “It’d take a few clouds, at least. Good sized ones too, if we’re talking any sort of depth. Why, you need that done?”
Big Macintosh found himself more comfortable than he expected to be, even with his sister giving him a questioning look from her seat. “Could say that,” he said.
Applejack’s hoof came up, an orange accusation. “Hold up,” she said. “What’s this on about, exactly?”
Big Mac had never been one for skating, but that same feeling of melting ice beneath his hooves filled him, the sensation of leaning precariously far back in a chair. “It’s a surprise.” He looked Rainbow Dash in the eye, and she caught something of his seriousness.
Dash was not subtle in her questioning glances between the siblings, but Applejack didn’t notice, or at least didn’t pay it any mind. The pegasus’ eyes widened and her face bloomed into a smirk.
“Yeah,” she said loudly, and a little more energetically than she had before. “It’s totally a surprise. Can’t tell you.”
Applejack grumbled. Her hooves hit the floor solidly and she made her way to the door. “Well, Big Mac, I suppose I can wait on it then. Good to see you’re doing...whatever it is you’ve actually been doing today. Stuff."
Dash leaned over to the stallion, or tried to, but there was inertia to take into account now so it was rather like seeing a turtle stuck upon its back. Or a tortoise for that matter. With only the slightest of exasperated huffs, she said: “You’re going to tell me what it is, right? Right?” Big Mac nodded.
A yawn cut across Dash’s enthusiasm before Big Mac could say anything. The pegasus chuckled. “Later though. I am going to steal a couch and sleep this off. Those were seriously good.”
The voice of Applejack proverbially smacked across the back of their heads. “You sure can, sugarcube,” she started with faux-sweetness, “just as soon as help me get all the laundry back in and clean up this mess you made!”
Dash spun to her hooves with easy agility, her wings flaring out quickly enough to make the larger stallion recoil or get poked in the eye with blue feathers. “You made it too!” the pegasus shouted back to the door, her eyes alight.
The grumble of an inarguable point grudgingly conceded could be heard in the hallway. A moment of terse silence happened followed by Applejack’s voice, somewhat more restrained than it had been. “Just get out here, lazy bones. I’ll drag you out if I have to.”
The pegasus laughed a hearty guffaw. “You wouldn’t!” She blinked and remembered herself, and who she was addressing, rolling her eyes as she did so. “Wait, no, this is you. You actually would. Ugh, fine.”
She made to move, but Big Mac interjected by way of his big hoof gently to her shoulder. “You know the fillies’ clubhouse?” he asked in hushed, rumbling tones. “When you get the chance, that’s the spot. You’ll see what I mean.” He chewed his lip a second, knowing he was terrible at clandestine words and matters of intrigue. “Don’t let my sis find out.”
Rainbow Dash brushed his hoof aside and grinned. “Sure thing. Just don’t you go fumbling now, champ, you’re doing good with this bet thing.”
There had always been something about Rainbow Dash; her good spirits were always infectious, like the sort of ailment that required a tiny combed brush and special shampoo to combat, and would make for much embarrassment in pharmacies. “Alright,” he said, without even a hint of aural struggle.
Dash punched his shoulder and beamed. “That’s the stuff! Good on ya. Don’t give up! A.J.” she suddenly called out, turning to face the hall, “why can’t you be as cool as your brother?”
“I ain’t going to even dignify that with a response! And get on out here already, I’m getting impatient!” the earth pony mare bellowed back.
“Yeah yeah, alright!” said Rainbow, gesturing flippantly at the door. “See you later, Big Mac. I got you covered on this end, don’t you worry. Just don’t lose,” she said more sternly, her hoof prodding him in the chest on each word as she looked him in the eye. “Okay?”
With that she was gone, grumbling good-naturedly and dragging her hooves. Big Mac was alone with his thoughts. Eeyup and Nope were being as well behaved as they’d been in hours.
There were still a few dishes to finish up, and he felt like he could use the sudden quiet about the house as a much needed breather. His hooves worked quietly with the efficiency of practice, and as they moved through the sparkling white suds he wondered how Miss Rarity was faring with Twilight Sparkle. He hoped it had gone as smoothly there for her as it had been for him here. Rarity had been very good to him, Eeyup, and he’d hate to be the cause of any trouble for her, Nope.
How bad could it be? Big Mac sighed as he put the last plate away, doing his best to ignore his imagination's fervent attempts to answer that very question, filling his thoughts as they did with Twilight’s bloodshot eyes and frantic voice.
How had two little words gone about starting so much trouble?
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Update! Hoorah!
Been a while may have to re read to get a better hold of the story there
bout damn time. eeyup
A new update! Eeyup!
Awesome, 'cept this:
Eeyup, that should be "were". Not "we're", nope. But great job!
2629784
Fixed! One day, one day I may yet post a chapter that is grammatically correct.
One day...(stares wistfully off into the horizon)
Thanks for spotting that!
2629797
No problem!
Good
I don't see why having pegasi eat their weight in food would be unusual. From what I gather, flying takes up a LOT of energy, so pegasi would compensate by either eating a lot, or sleeping a lot (and we know RD favors the latter
)
About damn time for a new update!
You dropped a "you"
Aural: Of or relating to the ear or the sense of hearing. Compare "oral": uttered by the mouth; spoken
I'm more of a waffle or crepe person, but damn if you didn't make those pancakes sound delicious.
Hell, AJ and Mac probably know how make 'em. That's grade A marriage material right there.
2631191 Is there something you aren't telling us, Seether?
2631245
Just that good food is the best way to a man's heart. I can cook up a storm too. Women like that.
2629905
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/38184026.jpg
And a clever solution is found for the gaping hole!
Great chapter,dude! Like how well it's going.
2629709 Ha! Finally found you! Aaaaannnnd, watched!
2631260
Your image didn't post.
2631191 Applecest brand incest!
Your parents are dead, they won't mind!
2632810
i think (s)he means that they would be prime marriage material for somepony else, since they can cook and make amazing pancakes, not to each other
2632716
it was a picture of skeptical 3rd world kid saying:
So what you're saying is
That Shaggy and Scooby would make amazing pegasi
2632840 ...
Stupid OTPs... Making me look stupid...
2633047
never!
that's my job you thief!
2633095 Bah.
A boy can dream.
What is Mac planning... ?
–Applejack only gave her a deadpan expression, which rapidly warmed into a smile. “Yeah, all the time. Cause I can actually cook, remember?”
Missing an apostrophe in the "'cause".
–That being what it was, when ponies said ‘there’s always room for dessert’ what they meant was, even if they had no way to know they meant it, actually this:
This was somewhat clunky to read. I'd switch the places of "even if they had no way to they meant it," and "actually this". Just a suggestion.
By the way, I'm really hungry for pancakes now, dammit.
2632849
Not really. It's either/or.
Mac, seriously? Those are the most dangerous words in creation: Discord-spawned abominations that can only lead to trouble.
I think it works a bit more fluidly as
2633858
yeah, but they're good at napping and sleeping, so they get the high pick of energy sources, they could sleep a lot or eat a lot
2634797
Sleeping is not an energy source. Sleeping for extended periods of time just decreases the amount of hours a creature is active, reducing their expenditure of energy. Eating a lot does however increase the amount of energy a creature has, while not effecting the rate at which energy is expended.
2642118
dammit not this again you know what i meant ross!
i swear everytime i start a debate...
2642783
Your comment made my day. Just thought I would start with that.
Anyway, it wasn't in me to ignore such a thing. Just take it for what it is, merely my personality. I like to point out such things.
On a final note, yes I did get what you meant.
Yes finally
heheheheheehehe
an update!
........so when's the next one
I sense trouble brewing; after all, the final stretch is always the hardest.
Great chapter, but now how will Twilight and Rarity play out in the next chapter/s? And let's not forget Fluttershy.
2631191
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1705-1318168453.jpg
2631946 2629709
Eh, he's not that hard to find. Now, if he were elusive, that'd be different...
Oohhh, you have no idea... How about another two words that can cause just as much trouble?
"I'm pregnant"
3187145
Actually 3 words :F
Well I like the chapter name just fine. Eeyup
2631259
...women like eating storms? Now I know what I've been doing wrong my entire life!
When next we see Rarity she'll be as nervous as Twilight and terrified that her 'date' with Big Mac led to some ponies getting 'ideas.'
Also, your Appledash dynamic is nothing short of stellar. You make them work wonderfully together. Your way with metaphorical imagery also leaves me mildly jealous.