Rarity has lived in Manehattan for several years. She has started pulling her hair from stress and comes out to Ponyville for her own wellbeing and to support Sweetie Belle in a touring adolescent theater group. Sweetie Belle, whose mental health has deteriorated since her sister's departure, eagerly anticipates the premiere of her company's experimental performance with Rarity in the audience--but a series of missteps reveals that the sisters have begun to grow apart.
Cover image by Koviry. Illustration for "Not All Marks Are Cuties" by monitus. Illustration for "The Lilies of The Field" by Hispers. Pinkie's "Interferometer" drawing by Chocolate Mint Swirl. Special thanks to adlbeay for prereading and indispensable advice, Forcalor for encouraging me to be weird, and to Phyllis & Tom.
Huh. Very interesting story you’ve got here! I like the dynamic dialogue Bon has with Rarity. Looking forward to more!
There's something cozy, even nostalgic, from the premise, dialogue and descriptions. Very interesting indeed
Gotta say, dialogue with characterization here on it's own level.
Pretty high level, that is.
Also it's off topic, but I literally just now given my Rarity a line with word "uncouth", and there it is, just sitting here 😁
Love these small coincidences
Great read, overall, I think I've even learned a few words
11547074
Thanks for your kind words. It might be another coincidence that you learned new words from a chapter titled around the only vocab lesson in the show!
All of my best wishes to your Rarity.
11548144
Wow, I was totally anaware it actually was in the show, I haven't watch it for ages 🤔
Seems its just too good, its lessons engrained
11548151
Oh, really? It's in Sisterhooves Social, I believe. All of these chapter titles are things that were actually said in the show, back when it was geared decidedly toward kids. The point is to situate the reader without being too literal. It's also a way of showing that time has passed, and that Rarity and Sweetie Belle now have a more complex relationship.
I also like to think of it as stretching out on an old theme.
That was a good chapter.
11553600
Thanks much!
That was a good chapter.
11560544
Hooray for consistency.
Emotional confrontation and overall philosophy here just speak to the soul. Gettiing out there and doing stuff, and jazz, and purposes, and longevity, and different forms, and art~—yeah, that's all about the life and living 😁
[Adult story embed hidden]
That actually reminded me about this fic, which can be fairly thematic by itself 😀
11573331
I'd hate to tarnish your dark reputation, but it must be said that you have a wonderful generosity about you.
11573929
Ha-ha! Thank you.
Well, "reputation" might be too grand of a word 😀
That was a good chapter.
Is this an alternate universe fanfic?
11585318
Inasmuch as any work of fiction is an alternate universe.
That was a good chapter goodluck with the next one. I wonder how much mischief Rarity's clone is going to cause.
11589043
Thanks. I need more 'good luck' wishes than you might think!
11589658
Good luck!
Very interesting chapter, greatly enjoyed
How do I give like twice?
11593035
You could dislike it too, I suppose.
11593140
Hey, creative thinking works!
Only on comments though, but fair enough.
11593146
Ah, too bad. It's what I thought the folks who disliked were trying to do!
I think you could be a great comedy writer
Really enjoyed this one!
11596598
It was supposed to be about a pony's psychological hell!
11597040
Well, I meant it in best way possible
Horror is certainly there too
Hey, I totally agree with that. Fanfiction is the boiling pot
Too sad that this one 'On Hiatus' now, though, I just figured out how to actually track stories without checking manually (I think). Will you work on something new in the interim?
11627862
I'm writing it--that's the hiatus. I want to post the concluding chapters close together, rather than spread out over months. I expect this will be around October, due to a combination of personal changes, qualitative writing tempo, etc.
11632984
I get it, it seems wise. Quality workflow is half the struggle, after all... All at your own pace
This dialogue is weighty.
Interested to see the purpose behind this fic.
11658898
Hmm...
11658898
As to purpose, I would say the closest analog in the show would be something like 'Sisterhooves Social', though updated for an older audience and colored by lower-middle class concerns (but seeking "common ground").
I... Wha... I dunno what to say. Quite an absurd scene for a possibly normal premise.
Sweetie, it's your fault Rarity swallowed the key.
Rarity... how in the heck did you swallow a whole key?
Also, friends are friends. They'd do the most mundane things in the world to help you out. Odd take by Rarity, but believable if you think she's snooty.
11661714
Thanks for your feedback.
Despite my inclination toward 'realistic' interpretations of the characters' motivations, I still imagine them as living in a cartoon-ish reality; especially here, where my idea about what this would become was much smaller and more straightforwardly comedic.
I will note, since it is in the text, that Rarity doesn't doubt that Twilight, Cadence, etc. would help her out of the jam she's in with the swallowed key. She takes the course she does for the reasons stated in her conversation with Sweetie Belle. Whether it is what she would "really" do, well... Who can say? I supposed, however, that she might have some insecurities, and wanted to go in that direction with the characterization.
Valid points, though.
What am I reading? A very well written Rarity has to go to the bathroom joke?
Also, why do good writers always make their food sound so delicious?
I'll give you this much, the story is definitely unique and quite enjoyable, in a quirky sort of way.
You're an odd one Mole, but your writing is top notch.
11666334
Thanks. It's a tough one to sell. It's not meant to be anything lurid, just some fun humor which leavens a more emotionally serious narrative, plus a little symbolic suggestion.
Wait a second before I go on I swear I'm not Gura...
https://youtu.be/eN4dDc-EvFY
Is Everybody Dupes a pun? Did it really take me this long? I SWEAR I'M NOT DUMB!
I can't believe any of what they did worked.
I can't believe guards are patrolling around the mirror pool. (Isn't it in the Everfree?)
Well at least mission accomplished I guess, but it's obviously leading to more severe complications or so I'd assume.
11668897
It found you like an ice cream headache.
Wow. Just wow. For all the silliness and nonsensical... things in the last few chapters, this one hit hard. I actually almost ALMOST cried. You did get me teary eyed though, which isn't hard to do per se, but is impressive for just text.
Since it did hit so hard I'm not going to get all emotional, but instead review through clips because I will inject the silliness if the chapter is going to be that serious.
Goodness, between you and Forcalor I'm going to have a mild stroke considering this is me 90 percent of the time while I'm reading your stories.
https://youtube.com/shorts/QVtaMwDqs3k?feature=share
Also a good bit of Panty and Stocking in me when I'm reading your dialogue. Feels like I'm being explained the rules by the demon sisters.
https://youtu.be/J548XM9-jKU
Also why was best girl Steve Buscemi in this chapter?
https://youtu.be/VMin0i_h8PI
Meh, regardless, I love her.
Excellent chapter. The best by far imo.
11673948
Forcalor and I have spent a lot of late nights putting heads together, thinking of the best ways to confuse you.
11674329
You know, I know that's a joke, but it sounds a lot more plausible to me than you might think.
The end of this chapter felt like horror.
After that exchange between Rarity and Sweetie Belle, I am more than convinced you are Bedman, Mole.
https://youtu.be/0Oo58D-Fls8?si=gQAO8IR4-mU77ySz
11677233
I'll have you know that I have to do just as much research and interpretation to understand your criticisms as you have had to do to understand this story!
11677247
Lmao! To be fair, I leave clips for reference. And I wouldn't call them criticisms... more, observations.
Well... I'm here for more. I suppose we play the waiting game now.
I've not a clue where this is going, but I'm here for it.
Once again, your dialogue proves to be beyond impressive, if not a bit jarring.
Interested and waiting.
11683772
I find it jarring, too. This was the hardest chapter to write out of all of them. It's where I stumbled the most. It used to be twice this length; I might trim it down more when I roll out the remaining portion of the story.
Thanks for taking the time to read. Glad to have you Onboard.
11683981
It's very difficult for me to find quality fics. Glad I found yours. Fingers crossed you found the inspiration to finish this one.
I finally realized what style I thought this was. Ever seen the series Monogatari?
Agreed Sweetie.
So sad.
Coming hard with this chapter.
Bold.
GEEZ.
Womp womp.
So the Yaks were just a bunch of dorks. Checks out.
Run Gray.
Fun chapter. Here's a question, why Yona?
11766376
I haven't. They stole my idea!
It was vaguely in my head when I was thinking about the kinds of intellectual skirmishes that seemed to be coming out of my version of Sweetie and Rarity (what you say has convinced you that I'm "Bedman"). Sweetie's problem in this story is, in my feeling, a spiritual one; and so with all this philosophical talk going back in forth I felt as though the sisters, after my own habit, were building a Tower of Babel--trying to reach God (whatever that means to you) by bricks, walking forward instead of looking up.
I wanted Yona to come in as a kind of "wise fool" character that could unravel those types of mental knots with gifted common sense.
It also worked out in the show canon that she would become the successor to Rarity at Carousel Boutique.
And as well, she was just the kind of friend it seemed someone like Sweetie Belle would have.
11766531
Yep, the style of Monogatari definitely fits.
It's an insanely good series.
Fair points all around. I still haven't finished the show so I didn't know they set up Yona like that.
That freaking clip. God darn it.