For Megan Williams life was always boring for her especially being a teenage girl living on a ranch that was isolated from almost everything else. However, all of those changes when she accidentally discovers what becomes an entry point to world she has never seen before. Will this new place be kind to her and will she be able to go back home? This is a crossover between G1 and G4.
Author's Note: This fanfic is NOT related to any of the ones I already made and is completely a standalone.
Cover Art:midgear
Chapters (1)
This fic feels like you haven’t watched any of G4 and just read from the wiki. While people don’t mind the occasional twist on characters, almost no one here feels very accurate, and Celestia and Luna are completely different to their show portrayal. Yes, you marked it as “alt universe”, but that doesn’t mean people will expect or like a total variation from what they liked.
Which isn’t to say you should stop writing, just that you need to keep working to improve, a lot. I would recommend finding some writing groups, as well as reading more stories to see how to properly tag dialogue, etc.
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This guy obessed to Megan, what do you expect?
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First of all, I will always see not having Megan in the show itself as a missed opportunity even if the rest of you don't. Another thing is that I'm pretty much done with the series I already did know as "The Return of Megan Williams" in that there was so much that could be done with that. However, I will admit that I even outdid myself considering how long that went that even had some that would include G5 characters in it. The point of this fanfic was to almost reimagine what the show would have been like if it were to happen hence the alternate universe tag. Also, when it comes to using the alternate universe tag, the characters can be different as well. When you really look at it, even if Megan was going to be in the show, you would know that this wouldn't be the same one from G1 as MLP:FiM isn't a continuation of MLP 'n Friends. In other words, her own adaptation and introduction would have been different while only her appearance would stay the same, which I would have pictured her wearing how cowgirl outfit, which I felt that she should have been kept with since her original debut in Rescue at Midnight Castle rather than that romper suit that didn't even look age appropriate for her. BTW, if this episode were to actually air, it would have been shortly after the first EG movie especially when Twilight mentioned to Megan how she reminds of her what she looked like when crossing that portal. Overall, I do plan to some more fanfics like this one to show what other episodes could have been if she was to be in them.
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I agree with the author and also there’s many stories on this site that characters don’t feel the same. Sure, the author’s writing could improve since the story felt… how to say it… kind of quick or straight to the point? I have to think on that but doesn’t mean I hate it I liked it since it’s nice seeing Megan Stories.
Oh yea, during the G4 series the Royal sisters definitely felt different during the early seasons then the later since Celestia seemed to be… dumb down later on like seasons 8 and 9 compared to what she was like in 1-4. Luna at the time since the author talked about this being after EQG 1 would have acted like that since this would before her dream episode.
Too bad she didn’t bring TJ with her at least. Though I felt the ending was a little quick.
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In reality, we would never how Megan's introduction to FiM would have actually gone since it was never done. For the most part, this fanfic just gives a possible idea for that. Something tells me that if it was to air, it probably would have used the title I used. Something made me feel that they wouldn't have a good first impression of Megan if they first see her. The only reason why in G1 especially when airing Rescue at Midnight Castle the ponies weren't scared of Megan when first seeing was mainly because they already have and know about humans back in Pony Land. However, for G4, this would be very different, because they have never seen a human before, which is why they would see Megan as a threat to them at first. As for TJ, he wouldn't have much a use if he goes there especially since he can't talk and is a normal pony, plus he wasn't even that major back in G1 when he only made two appearances, though something tells me he had growth spurt when he was shown the second time. However, TJ does go with Megan to Equestria in the Deviantart comic strip known MLP:FiM: The Seventh Element, which was done by BBBHuey, and he can even talk after Twilight put a spell on them that allowed him to do so, though that comic strip was left incomplete, so it's not clear how that was supposed to end. Should I make a wild guess, I think that later on Twilight realizes that it's not TJ who is the "Seventh Element", but rather Megan instead even though she finds it hard to believe especially when she even claims that she's not even a pony to start with and not making sense, though Twilight claims that nowhere did the book about it ever said that it had to be a pony to begin with, but keep in mind that is just a hypothetical thought here.
You asked for attention, so I came to give you some… having read this, I’m going to leave a comment. I’m going to talk straight and not sugar coat my thoughts. If I come across as harsh or rude, I am sorry. It’s just my opinion. Take it or leave it.
This story is filled with errors of spelling, grammar and punctuation throughout. “Going to bad” instead of bed, is one example I remember. Using a period instead of a comma at the end of dialogue quotes throughout is another example. There were unpunctuated sentences and run-ons. There were some sentences that may have been intended to be compound or complex that had to be deciphered for lack of punctuation.
Those were the small problems.
The larger issue for me, is that for all the things happening in the story, at varying degrees of clarity, I didn’t feel any of it. I never made a connection with anybody, and so I had no investment no matter what happened. It’s like a body with no soul.
Additionally, there was no tease. You didn’t give me something to want, and then make me wait for it to happen. That goes hand in hand with investment and connection, and it just isn’t here for me.
You said upfront that Megan is unhappy, and I take your word for it. I never felt how she is unhappy, because it is not communicated. You said it, but you’ve got to use the words you write to paint it, to show me why she is sad.
The dialogue is stiff and unnatural throughout, no matter who is speaking.
What happened to the horse that Megan was riding when she found the portal? Equestrians catching her with a saddled and bridled horse might have been interesting.
Why did the guards abandon their post and leave a “dangerous prisoner” unguarded? That is nonsensical.
What did Chrysalis even hope to gain by such a halfhearted interaction?
Why a “chosen one” Tree of Harmony connection?
Everything feels… rushed. Be patient with each scene. Build it in your head. See it, smell it, hear it, feel it, taste it, and then write that out. Let the characters tell the story; let us experience it through their eyes, and go on the journey with them. Otherwise, it’s just words. To me, that’s the difference between something that is the sum if it’s parts, and something that is more.
The concept, of a depressed girl that goes to Equestria and finds friends, can be a solid theme to build on. So, write on!
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First of all, the point of this fanfic was to show what it would have been like if Megan was to be introduced into the show, because I know that she wasn't when it did air. In a way, this is an inserted episode. Keep in mind that if others can make reimagined episodes for FiM, then I don't see why I can't do the same with how I want it to be. Nonetheless, Megan felt the way she does because she lives on a ranch that is very much isolated from everything else. The most she has to actual communications is her own family. Before she enters the portal, she has TJ, the horse she was riding on go back to the stable if you didn't seem to catch that. What Megan didn't know is that Chrysalis was watching her from the trees so that she can take her form and impersonate her later on in order to frame her. Since Megan doesn't have any magical powers it's not as if she can just teleport herself out of a cell or place a spell that will unlock it let alone try to pick the lock to get out. More importantly, this isn't the same Megan from G1, it's more of a rebooted character, which would have been the case if Hasbro really was to do this because MLP:FiM was never going to be a continuation of MLP 'n Friends. In other words, this one isn't related to the fanfics I already did, which does have Megan from G1 only that she is a bit older than she was on the show itself. On a side note, I will admit that writing was never my strong subject despite being so good just about everywhere else.
Nice
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I would have been really happy if this was an actual episode.
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Indeed