Chapter 1: The Prisoner
Chaos and Darkness
By Paleo Prints
Chapter 1: The Prisoner
Secretly, every parent in Ponyville appreciated the location of the Everfree Forest. The unnatural landscape played havoc with the weather ponies, and the occasional alien monster would sometimes intrude into civilized lands. Hydras were only a moderate concern. After seeing what a wild bonnacon did to his fields after only five minutes, farmer Rusty Gates renounced all claim to his land and became a janitor. Still, the intimidating forest served a purpose.
After all, it stood between their children and Tartaurus.
If a pony spent two days travelling directly through the forest (or perhaps one day if you were incautious and obsessive), that unfortunate would find a gigantic hill of cracked boulders and smoldering crevasses. In these fissures could be glimpsed channels of magma that raised and lowered by some arcane rules of pressure, occasionally spurting out in a destructive spray that could eliminate at least a whole wagon.
The people (for they were not ponies) of this grim place marked the outskirts of their territory every other mile with a single signpost. The signs were universally soot-encrusted, burnt, and regularly replaced. They said only one statement: Use Caution.
The minotaurs of Tartaurus thought that was enough.
The rocky hills of Tartaurus could not exist in their present state forever. Either the fires would burn out one distant day or the pent-up energy would release, engulfing the surface, warrens, and prison in an explosive end. Being minotaurs, the citizens of Tartaurus keep a long tally of cheerful bets on the outcome. Parents would often arm wrestle to see which of them got to personally tell their offspring about their city's impending demise. Every lucky mother or father would watch the youngster carefully for their reaction. The appropriate one was taken to be not dissimilar from, “Huh. That'll look cool.”
Iron Will did not react appropriately.
On the most important moment on his coming-of-age day, Iron Will broke with minotaur tradition by asking, “So, what are we going to do about it?”
His mother (who had always been able to overpower his father both physically and verbally) squinted at him in confusion.
“We die.”
Iron Will had waited patiently for further elucidation. His mother only stared at the simmering of a caldera, chucking ominously.
He scratched his head.
“But we could probably do something about it!”
Constance Guard looked down at her son. She had gone through the same ritual at his age. When informed of her society's fate she had only giggled, informing her father that Grandpa Steady Hoof would look funny running from the lava on his wooden leg. She remembered how her father swelled with pride.
She sat down on a nearby rock, gesturing for Iron to sit down. He dutifully responded, which set her further on edge.
“Son,” she said with trepidation, “why would we want to do that?”
The young teen scratched his head as a light began to grow behind his eyes.
“Mom, if we solve it someone has to pay us, right?”
Shortly afterward his mother shuffled into the family grotto with heavy heart and footsteps. Her spouse briefly looked up from the pile of iron ingots he was hand-bending into manacles.
“Your son,” she began, “is clearing away rocks from the prison gate entrance until he learns his lesson.”
With that pronouncement she walked toward the larder with heavy hooves.
“Of course, dear.” Iron Will's father peered at the latest link he had squeezed into form. Suddenly he raised his eyebrow. “Honey, what lesson is he supposed to learn?”
“When he knows,” she screamed, “he'll come and tell me!”
Knowing his wife's temperament, Strong Bonds nodded. “Yes, dear.”
Hours later, a thoughtful young minotaur arrived at the grotto. Strong looked at his son with an appraising eye as Iron Will slumped onto the granite sofa, dejected.
“So, how'd the rock stacking go?”
Iron sighed, holding up a stack of precious mica, obsidian, and basalt coins. “I managed to convince some of the guys that they were professionally sculpted throwing rocks. They paid me to cart them away.” He scratched, listlessly. “I just killed some time at market checking out the young cows.”
“Huh.” Strong Bonds felt a tugging inside his brain. He knew instinctively that he was supposed to cast his paternal wisdom before his son. It was time to steer him right.
“So Iron, my young micky, pride of my warren, did you learn something today?”
The young minotaur turned toward his father. He cast cautious looks about the grotto. Finally, he leaned over toward his father.
“Don't tick off Mom.”
Strong Bonds considered this response momentarily before nodding. “Glad to have helped.”
Years later, these events settled like volcanic ash over Iron Will’s mind as he dragged his cart over the uneven Tartaurus ground. A few of the open pits had collapsed. Some new crevices belched smoke into the open sky. Despite some minor geological additions, it was Home. One thing Home could be relied on to avoid was changing, especially if it had sent you running away in the first place.
The trio of guards at the front gate regarded him with interest. They had long since become bored with the traditional minotaur game of “Punch the Small Guy,” especially since the guy in question happened to be winning.
“Who goes there?” bellowed the Lead Bellower. He had recently been promoted to his position, and was in a hurry to practice.
The traveler's shoulders slumped. “Iron Will, son of Strong Bonds and Constance Guard, grandson of Heaving Horn, requests you get out of the way.”
The Bellower regarded him skeptically. “That’s a mighty large cart for you to pull on your own.”
Iron nodded. “Yeah, I usually have goats to help carry my stuff for me. I seem to have run out.”
The Small Guy, high on his winning streak, giggled at the much larger minotaur. “What happened, you eat ‘em? Did they fall into lava?”
Iron scratched behind his ear. “No. They’re union. Mandatory vacation time.”
The three guards laughed. Iron gripped his wagon handle tightly.
The third guard picked up a scroll and quill. “Okay, buddy. What should I put in the rolls for occupation? You a mercenary? Maybe a guard in some kinda complex?”
Iron Will flashed a smiled. In a second his entire posture changed. He stood up with confidence, spinning his arms in a circle before pointing at the scribe. “Iron Will is the greatest motivational speaker in Equestria!” He clapped his hands loudly, then raised his fists in the air. “Iron Will is here to make Tartaurus the best it can be!”
The guards stood speechless as the energetic minotaur bounded up to the Bellower and hooked an arm around his shoulder. “Hey you! Do people ever hassle you at this gate? People try to avoid the gate tax?”
The Bellower looked at his co-workers nervously. “Um. I guess so.”
Iron Will stepped back, hands on his hips. “Well then, when someone tries to sneak, show them that they’re weak! Iron Will is going to make you confident and assertive!” He suddenly pulled some papers out of his cart, his voice dropping to normal tones. “Here, these are free passes for my upcoming lecture.” He patted the Bellower on the shoulder. “Arrive early. I want to see you in the front row.” He winked.
The shocked guards squinted at their passes while Iron Will rolled inside, whistling. The Short Guy was the first one to recover.
“He’d make a great bellower.”
The current Bellower nodded, clearly recognizing greatness in the field of shouting. He suddenly squinted at his comrades.
“Wait a second. Did that guy pay the gate toll?”
Scarcely an hour later, Iron knocked inside the archway of his family house. “Mom? Dad? Are you here?”
An older minotaur with graying hair and a pipe pulled Iron inside with a handshake. “Iron! Great to see you boy! How goes the shouting business? Do the ponies of the world run from my terrifying child?”
Iron parked his cart in a corner of the apartment. “Uh, not really Dad. I tell them the things they want to hear and they feel better about themselves.”
His mother stepped into the room, eyeing him curiously. “Iron Fire-Forged Stanley Will, did I hear that right? You’re shouting nice things at people?”
Iron nervously hugged his mother. She punched him in the side of the head, traditionally and affectionately. “Yeah, Mom. They pay me to do it. I have employees. Oh, I also point at people.” He waved his arms around and pointed at his mother with both fingers. “Iron Will is going make you the person you want to be!”
His parents stared at him silently for a moment before his mother snorted and walked into the kitchen. Strong Bonds took his son by the arm. “Your mother’s made dinner! Let’s talk over it in respectful tones. I’m so glad you were able to make your Pilgrimage back this year.”
Following him to the table, Iron had hope rise into his eyes. “So, Dad, did you put up the flyers that I forwarded? Most of my bits just got invested into sound equipment.”
His Dad smiled, flipping a newspaper over a stack of neglected papers in a corner. “I’m pretty sure I did it! Now, let’s talk about the nice job I got you with Warden Oubliette. You’re here for a month, after all.”
Iron blinked. “Muleta? Muleta Oubliette? Oh, Minos. I haven’t seen her since school. Come on, Dad. Tell me she’s coming to one of my shows. I really want to look good in front of her.”
His father smiled. “Son, we just shopped around one of your natural talents.”
Twilight Sparkle grinned with excitement as she trotted over the uneven gravel of Tartaurus. She stepped with purpose as she spotted the pitted iron gates of the city.
“Look at that, Spike! The Gates of Tartaurus. They were forged with the aid of the legendary Sea Pony King Foamrider, you know. At least, you would know if you did the reading I assigned, that is.”
On her back a small dragon baby shrugged. “Okay, those pieces of rusted metal have a history. Are we almost there? I’m hungry and this place has a high open-lava-pit level.”
She threw a questioning look at him as she slowed down. “You’re a dragon. Why are you worried about lava?”
Spike shrugged. “Well, climbing out’s a hassle.”
Twilight rolled her eyes with a smile as she stepped towards the gate. A burly minotaur rose with an irritated sigh to meet her. “Halt,” he said with little motivation. “Who goes there?”
“Okay, Spike. Get out the... ”
“Already got it.” He held a scroll out into her peripheral vision.
She nodded, levitating the scroll in front of herself. “I am Twilight Sparkle, Officially Deputized Representative of Equestria and Ambassador of Princess Celestia!”
The minotaur blinked. He smiled, sensing opportunity.
“Iron Will welcomes you in the name of the Minoan Holdfast!” He threw his arms wide. “Welcome to the sturdy prison of Tartaurus.”
Iron Will took a step forward, flexing his right arm. “Not a single soul leaves Tartaurus Prison early! If you escape, we’ll break your face! Iron Will hopes... ”
A minotaur still seated on a rock coughed into his fist. “Two bits, please.”
Twilight frowned. “Sir, please don’t interrupt the traditional minotaur gate greeting! My diplomatic responsibility is to partake of all local customs. Additionally, my assistant here needs whatever culture he can get.”
Spike stared at Iron Will in awe. “Was that culture? Can culture be cool?”
The seated guard laughed. “This maverick, traditional? Lady, you gave your name and job. You pay the two bits and you’re in.”
He turned to Iron Will. “Come on, new guy. You’re her escort. Grab your battle-axe and take her to Oubliette.”
The interrupted speaker nodded. He hoisted his weapon and straightened his shoulders, refusing to break character in front of the audience. “Iron Will will take you to the Warden, Miss Sparkle.”
Iron walked ahead, putting himself several paces in front of Twilight Sparkle. Once safely in front, he let his facade fall for a brief second, a weary look crossing his features. He instantly stepped back into his role as Twilight cantered up to his side.
“Well, I thought you were impressive.” She grinned. “Thanks for adding to the ambiance of the experience. Now let’s meet Miss Oubliette. Secret Object Number Twenty-Three needs a check-up!”
Spike scratched his head. “Twilight, should you really be talking about something with the word ‘secret’ in the title?”
Iron smiled genuinely for the first time in days.
Under the twisting warrens of the minotaurs sat Tartaurus Prison. The minotaurs may have thought of the front entrance as the “Gates of Tartaurus,” but to the rest of the world that phrase conjured an image of the huge spiked portcullis below and the three-headed dog that lay in front of it.
Past the armory and barracks sat the prison proper, host to the fiends, tyrants, and schemers of a hundred lands. Elaborate hourglasses dominated a wall outside the cellblock, some enchanted so that only one sand grain fell each century as the villains inside waited for pardon or release.
In the front of the prison was the community room. Here inmates were allowed under heavy magical suppression to mingle. At the moment, titans who had terrorized nations were passing away their days.
Sitting at the front of a table, a fat bipedal thing with bat wings and a goat head idly examined its hand of cards. Using a skull-tipped wand to draw his tankard close, it looked appraisingly at the creature to its right.
“Got any threes?”
A scaly body supported two baboon heads on long necks. They peered at a hand held in limbs like tentacles. One head shrieked incoherently, drawing a reproachful glare from the other head.
“Oh, for Venger’s sake please don’t be a spoilsport," said the second head. "Hand them over. It’s a perfectly fair move, you know.”
Further down the table a muscular red-skinned creature seethed. Two rage-filled eyes were framed by a black beard below and steer-like horns above. His upper body was red-furred and muscular, shaped liked those of the protagonists in the popular “Humanworld” novels. This torso rested on the body of a great black stallion.
Tirek the Necromancer threw his cards at the table. “Pah! How can you all get so worked up over such an idle amusement?” He gestured to the baboon creature. “How can a general of the Blood Wars care about mere pieces of paper?”
The two heads regarded each other. The right one screeched loudly. The left nodded. “Yes, we were actually about to attempt a similar tactic.”
Tirek groaned, covering his face with a hand. The table’s attention was drawn by the sound of the door opening. The goat-thing, baboon-thing, and the contemplative silent fourth player stared at the prisoner who was ushered in by two unconcerned guards. Tirek’s gaze was held spellbound by the sight of a statue the guards were moving across the hall.
It’s here. By the Stars, they were foolish enough to bring it here!
A hooded figure floated into the room. Two red eyes and a pair of bluish eyebrows stuck out from the darkness inside his cowl. He raised a clawed hand and gestured at the assembled prisoners.
“Which… of you… ” boomed a theatrical voice, “… would like… some refreshments?”
The card players gave each other embarrassed looks as the cloaked prisoner dragged in a cart of multi-colored drinks in novelty mugs. With a gesture he levitated a steaming mug with a head of whipped cream over to the two-headed reptilian. As the twin baboon heads sniffed the mixture appreciatively, Tirek noticed the mug had writing on it.
The Necromancer cocked his head to read the nearly illegible scrawl. Grabbing up the cup drew a chirp of disapproval from the monkey-monster. Tirek paid no heed, reading aloud the mug’s label with growing anger. “‘Best Tyrant in the Abyss’?”
The hooded sorcerer offered a bony thumbs up. “I thought we could use some personalization around here. A little bit of flair makes the centuries pass like decades.” He immediately ducked as the thrown mug shattered inches from his head.
“What have you become, No-Heart?” Tirek shrieked. The centaur’s fist slammed into the table again and again. “What have all of us become? We played the game of realms and worlds, and now we should sit like spinsters as we waste our hard-won immortality?”
No-Heart stepped backwards, hands up in front of him. “Tirek, I’ve told you. I’ve accepted Harmony as my guiding principle. You’d be a lot happier if you came to the meetings.”
Tirek quivered for several moments. The goat-thing turned to Tirek and cleared his throat. “Um, Tirek?” He gestured to the cards spread along the table. “Do you have any fives?”
Tirek reared back, kicking the table over. It tipped onto the drink cart, spilling beverages and shattering mugs.
“I have no remaining patience!” He pointed at the shaking No-Heart. “I have no worthy comrades! Search for yourselves for my fives, for I care not!”
No-Heart nodded, then walked toward the door silently while pausing briefly to pick up the sole remaining intact mug. The side read “Best Prison Caterer.” He carried it out of the room with as much dignity as he could muster.
A horned hooded figure, previously silent, turned to the raging centaur. Its yellow eyes peered out of pure darkness. “Okay Tirek, that’s enough. Go tell him you’re sorry.”
Tirek stomped. “No, Quellor! You can just sit on those hopes!” He smirked. “Perhaps if you hold onto them long enough they just may turn to gold.” Tirek left the room, the guards giving him a baleful glare.
Quellor crossed his arms and look at his fellow inmates with irritation. “This never happens when we play Bridge.”
Tirek stepped out into the main tunnel of the prison, drawing baleful glares from the patrolling minotaurs. The curving corridor displayed dozens of cells. Some of them had bars, whereas others were sealed by shimmering fields of magic. Tirek moved with purpose toward the back of the prison. Passing his own open cell, he stopped in front of a magically-sealed room. No prisoner was visible, only a roiling field of tempestuous blue clouds. A illusion of warning was laced into the restraining field spell.
DO NOT OPEN. MONSTROMURK.
The guards started to realize that Tirek was out of bounds, and he saw them stand and reach for their axes. Nonchalantly, he tapped onto the magic field, drawing crackling sounds and the smell of ozone.
“It is time, my friend. They’ve stupidly brought the object here at last.”
The cloud inside quaked and thundered as lightning played across it.
Tirek nodded. “Do as we discussed and I will give you a land of your own to play with.”
Sparkles of light rippled across the cloud. Tirek sighed in irritation. Turning behind he saw the jailers were seconds away. He leaned toward the cell door. “Very well. I will also ship my disloyal subjects to you as a favor to replenish your stock.” He gritted his teeth. “On occasion.”
The cloud gave a great peal of thunder. Two gleeful eyes were momentarily visible.
“Hey, Tirek! Get back in your hole!”
The Necromancer turned to his jailer with growing impatience. He threw out his hand, pointing at the offending minotaur.
Nothing happened.
The guard smirked. “You see that, boys? He tried to cast. Take ‘im to the Warden. Roughly.”
A dozen hands roughly grabbed the former Lord of Midnight Castle. He struggled, and was rewarded with blunt axe sides smacked against his head. As the guards pulled him to the front of the prison, Tirek allowed himself a secret smile as he was dragged towards destiny.
“Yeah, The Flim Flam Brothers’ have a good idea without proper branding. Now, Hidden Bits has this great book about all the programs where Celestia will send you free money. It’s got market share written all over it.”
Twilight nodded as the minotaur led her out of the maze-like civilian quarters. She exited a torch-lit tunnel into a huge scarlet-gleaming cavern. A rocky bridge jutted out over a flowing river of magma. At the far end, she could just make out the enormous gate.
“That’s... fascinating,” she said with effort, sweat dripping from her coat. “I had no idea minotaurs were so involved with economic theory.”
Iron Will shrugged. “Well, we don’t get many who are, honestly. That’s why I had to take my show on the road. Ponies pay for Iron Will’s help far and wide!”
As he struck a pose, Spike looked up from his comic book. “Wait a second! You’re the monster that Rarity talked about! You’re the one that bothered Fluttershy!”
Iron Will covered his eyes with his hand.
Twilight stopped, taking a moment to renew her taxed personal temperature spell. “Wait, what? What did this guy do to Fluttershy?”
“Iron Will remembers dealing with a Fluttershy.”
Spike jumped down onto the group and stuck a finger at the much larger minotaur. This drew an amused look from Iron Will.
“You’re the one who turned her into a monster!”
Twilight’s horn started to glow.
“Yeah, he gave her assertedtivenessy lessons!”
Twilight’s horn went dark. “What.”
Iron shuffled from one hoof to another. “I did do some business in Ponyville.”
Twilight turned to her assistant. “Spike, that doesn’t sound like turning someone into a monster.”
The dragon snarled. “She refused to pay, didn’t she?”
Iron Will crossed his arms. “Some ponies cannot handle the awesome responsibility of being like Iron Will.”
Twilight leaned in toward Spike. “So, Fluttershy refused to pay, and then... ”
Spike snarled. “He made her not pay!”
Twilight’s gaze moved from the dragon to the minotaur several times. It finally settled on Iron Will with a serious look.
“So, is there any place to get water around here?”
He smiled. “Oh, probably in the guard’s break room, I think. Come on, we’re almost to the gate.”
The two walked off, leaving Spike to follow. He shook a tiny fist at Iron Will and sighed.
“It sounds better when Rarity tells it.” He moved to keep up.
Two of the prison staff waited for Twilight at the gate. One lifted three canine heads and bounded over toward the pony, flipping her over onto her back. The gigantic hound began licking her face as she giggled.
A slimmer but athletic minotaur with a bell around her neck chuckled as she approached. “Cerberus must remember you. I’m Muleta Oubliette. Welcome to Tartaurus Prison, pony.” She grabbed Cerberus’ collar with both hands and pulled off the massive dog.
Spike turned to Iron Will, covering his mouth with his claw. “She’s kinda strong, huh?”
Iron made no reply, his mouth open, hearts visible in his eyes.
Spike rolled his eyes. “Yeah man, I’ve been there. Tell me about it.”
Twilight stood up, shaking the slobber from her coat. “Greetings, Warden of the Walls of Woe, Mistress of the... ”
Muleta waved a hand in the air. “Skip the titles. Let’s go inside.” She patted Cerberus on each head carefully. “Stay.”
Twilight shrugged as she followed behind the Warden. “Iron Will tells me that I can get a drink at the break room?”
The warden froze, turning to the minotaur behind her. “Iron Will?”
He swallowed right before she started giggling. Oubliette leaned down to Twilight, gesturing toward her guard with a thumb.
“You’re in good hands with this guy. He was the biggest class clown I’ve ever seen! Hey Iron, didn’t you become a stand-up comedian?”
Spike and Twilight turned to the blushing minotaur. Iron Will struck a dramatic pose.
“Iron Will travels from Equestria to the Griffon lands, teaching all how to assert themselves! If they step on you, Iron’s gonna make you like new!”
The group silently stared at him for a second until Oubliette broke out into laughter. Twilight gave him a sympathetic look as the Warden walked off. He nodded and followed.
Inside the main hall of the prison, a crowd of guards held a snarling scarlet centaur and waited. As the tour group approached, Twilight gasped.
“Tirek! That’s Tirek, Lord of Midnight Castle!”
Warden Oubliette shrugged. “He’s one of the crew.” She stepped towards the highest ranking guard and gave Tirek an amused look. “So, Hardhorn, how’re things with your family?”
He smiled as Tirek grunted in irritation. “Oh, pretty good. I get to take my kid out to see the mountain for his Doom Day soon.”
“If you could see it fit to release me,” Tirek snarled.
Oubliette tapped her cheek thoughtfully. “Oh, are the prisoners okay on level two?”
As Tirek squirmed, Twilight leaned close to Iron Will. “Are they deliberately trying to tick him off?”
Many explanations came to his mind. He settled on the simplest one. “Minotaurs,” he said while shrugging.
Hardhorn nodded. “Tiamat and Lolth are finally getting along again. Oh, hey,” he said while throwing a thumb at the struggling Necromancer, “This guy tried to cast a spell on me.”
Oubliette nodded. “Really?”
Tirek grumbled. “I was only trying to get to No-Heart’s enclosure.” Suddenly he gasped as he saw Twilight. “A unicorn? Here?”
Twilight stepped up. She chewed her bottom lip. “Greeting, Tirek. My name is Twilight Sparkle.”
He smiled, leaning down as best as he could with a cloud of burly arms restraining him. “Little one, do you know what your family did to me? Not just your kind, but the Sparkle clan?”
She slowly shook her head, drawing a grin from the Necromancer. “One day, you will.” He turned to the Warden. “I need to see a… friend.” He offered a diplomatic smile to Twilight. “Your kind understands friendship, I hear?”
“I want to… ” Tirek turned his face out of Twilight’s view as a look of hatred filled twisted his features. An immense will projected calmness as he turned back to Twilight and the Warden.
“I… need to apologize to No Heart for something I did earlier. Yes. I need to do it. I’m sorry I gestured with the Power, but you know the wards prevent that from doing anything.”
Spike shivered. Tirek’s smile reminded him of too many adult dragons.
Twilight gave the Warden a pleading look. “He seems to really understand what he did wrong. This place is about redemption instead of punishment, after all.”
Oubliette rolled her eyes. “All right. Take him to No-Heart. In fact, have Iron Will take him. It’ll be a good tour of the prison for our guest.” She stared at Iron Will with a serious expression. “Oh, and take her to see Object Twenty-Three.”
The guards released Tirek. He straightened himself, giving Twilight a calculating look. She shivered as Iron Will led them on.
Twilight and Spike stared in awe at the cells they passed. A horde of multi-colored ghosts floated behind a force field, and one of them tipped a blue hat to her. A nearby cell held a red two-headed creature that look like a collection of random parts. He constantly reassembled himself as one head argued with the other. A giant frog in a fine suit regarded Twilight with curiosity as he pet a fluffy white caterpillar from behind a desk.
“Twilight,” Spike said with a quavering voice. “These are the bad guys. Can we go home now?”
Twilight shivered as she watched Tirek. At each tunnel turn the Necromancer would spare a momentary glance at her, especially her rear. Normally Twilight would blush if someone kept staring at her cutie mark that often, but now she felt small and threatened for reasons that remained opaque to her. Tirek would furrow his brow, grit his teeth, and occasionally reach out and crush stone outcroppings in his fist. She began to avert her eyes.
With the last member of his escorts distracted, Tirek grinned.
As they approached No-Heart’s enclosure, Tirek moved to the side of the corridor. He surreptitiously knocked on the Monstromurk’s barrier. The cloud flashed once, then disappeared.
“What is this?” Tirek tried to emote appropriately. “The Monstromurk has escaped!”
Iron Will looked at the empty cell with wide eyes. “Hang on! If he broke out, it’s gonna be a rout!”
He fumbled for a large metal key hanging on his belt and shoved it into the field, causing it to explode into sparkles.
Oubliette grabbed her axe with shaking hands. “No, you idiot! It can change the color of anything! It’s invi-- ”
Blue smoke poured out of the opened jail cell and filled the corridor. Spike clung to Twilight as lightning crackled around him. She was already concentrating, purple magic pouring out of her horn as she scanned the area.
The Warden ground her teeth together. “You shouldn’t have done that, rookie. We’re all in terrible danger, now.”
Iron Will raised his eyebrows. “What’s he going to do, make me purple?” A laughing mustached face appeared through the fog. “If you break and run, I’ll ruin your fun!”
Twilight gasped. “No, don’t! If he controls color… ”
Iron’s fist hit something hard in the blue cloud. Warden Oubliette fell unconscious to the floor.
Twilight gave him a withering look.
“Oh.” He hit his forehead. “Colors. Vision. Okay. Covered.”
Twilight nodded as she swept the area with magical light. Spike had climbed onto her, nervously casting glances all around at the threatening cloud. Iron Will turned around, standing-back-to-rump with the determined unicorn.
No one noticed Tirek’s absence.
No-Heart looked up from his crocheting as his force field dropped.
“Hello? Is it time for the Harmony Circle, sirs?”
Tirek pulled himself inside the cell, grinning with anticipatory delight. “No-Heart. It’s time for you to be, very finally and very briefly, useful.”
The terrified wizard dropped his knitting needles and started backing up. “Tirek, my friend. I forgive you for the mugs.” His hands shook. “Please leave.”
Tirek shook his head and picked up the fallen needle. He briefly shook his head at No-Heart.
“This was a weapon, wizard. You could have easily stabbed me with this to defend yourself.” Tirek closed his fist, shattering the needle into twain. “You’ve gone soft.”
No-Heart knelt in a corner, shaking as he held his head in his hands. “We’re… we’re friends, right?”
Tirek trotted over to No-Heart, looming over him. “There is only one being on this miserable planet I care for. I intend to see her this day. For that, I need you. Well, some of you at least.”
The Necromancer grabbed No-Heart by the throat. The wizard’s eyes went wide as he gurgled out pleadingly.
“Would that be fear in your eyes, No-Heart? I recognize that flavor. It’s the terror of knowing what this world is about. You forgot.”
Tirek’s hand moved quickly and deliberately. No Heart stopped struggling.
“I just reminded you.” He nodded as he lowered No Heart and raised a wet mass for examination.
“Hmm. Misnamed.”
What Tirek carried out of No-Heart’s cell dripped as he wandered through the nearly empty high security wing. With the main force occupied with the Monstromurk, Tirek saw no guards as he walked past tanks of animated sea-weed. Inside a cell where “Tunnel Snakes” had been graffitied everywhere a leather-jacket-clad purple snake gave him an appraising look.
He walked with purpose into the cursed item storage area, past a large labeled staircase that read “Danger: Metlar Suppression Area.” Counting off rooms, he smiled in triumph as he walked into number Twenty-Three. In the center of the cavernous room was a single statue surrounded by protective runes.
“At last. The Prankster Lord. The Chaos Master. The Terror of the Plains of Dream Valley.”
As he approached the statue of the frozen Draconequus, Tirek snorted. “The greatest waste of potential this planet has ever seen.”
Surmounting the dais, the necromancer squeezed his rubbery memento of No-Heart with both hands. He wet his fingers in the liquid that poured out. “We were all disappointed with you. You were no petty alicorn or conjurer of cheap tricks. You had the stuff of unmitigated creation in your claws and used it to make candy.”
Tirek shook his head, sighing. “You still carry a torch for the pink-haired shadow of a tyrant, don’t you? You never could recognize true quality. No matter.” He drew dark patterns on Discord with his fingers. “You failed, my old friend. You failed not only to overcome them, but yourself.”
Discord’s statue began shaking as glowing cracks formed under Tirek’s drawings. It nearly tipped from side to side as it hopped in place. Tirek laughed, clapping as an explosion of glowing dust showered the room. A long, limp form collapsed onto the floor. As the barely conscious draconequus started to blink, a muscular red hand held him aloft by the neck.
Discord mumbled as his blurry vision made out a horned head. “What to the buh-whoody? Tired? Tie-dye? It’s a t-word, I’m sure. Can I buy a vowel?”
The hand tightened, drawing a gasp. Glowing energy crackled around Discord, flowing out of him, up over Tirek’s arm and finally into his chest. The Lord of Midnight Castle breathed deeply with satisfaction.
Discord’s eyes widened. “Okay! Solving the puzzle! Tirek, old buddy! I’m so glad to see you. Why don’t we have a long conversation with no hint of physical violence?”
The glowing tyrant responded by casting the terrified trickster against the far wall. He threw back his head and roared, shaking the foundations of Tartaurus.
Tirek fixed Discord with a glowing stare that forced him to avert his eyes. “I find myself oddly merciful toward you, Fallen One.”
The draconequus nervously giggled. “Really? Let some Harmony into your heart, then? Shall we get a guitar and sing ‘Celestia Loves the Little Fillies,’ maybe with optional campfire?”
Tirek’s headshake left light trails from his eyes. He gestured at the far door, causing it to explode into fragments. “No, you simpering jester. I merely wish for you to see what your true potential was.”
Two minotaurs rushed into the room wielding battle-axes. With an irritated wave of his hand, Tirek turned both of them into stone. Discord pressed himself against the wall in fear as Tirek reared on his hooves, laughing in triumph.
“I now possess the power you squandered, Discord. I bring the storm that shall flood Equestria, and it will be neither chocolate nor water that flows through its streets.”
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(What is Caramel's problem?)
No comment. Guess I might as well make a joke.
One does not simply sneak into Tartar- DAMN IT, IRON!
I knew it was tirek as soon as I laid eyes on the cover image. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png Man that is one old villain!
th01.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/f/2011/297/4/8/hipster_scootaloo_by_veggie55-d4du84w.png
Totally read it already.
Still buckin' awesome, though.
Also, I get the feeling I know what the soundtrack for this story is gonna consist of:
1333803
Goddammit, dude. I have on job around here, and you just up and take it away from me.
However, I approve of your post.
I feel like I'd be getting more out of this if I could stand to watch the old G1 cartoons and find out who Tirek, No-Heart and the others are. (Though I think the two-headed monkey dude is Demogorgon, and if he showed up in My Little Pony, I may have to reconsider my stance.)
Nevertheless, intriguing stuff, and I wish to see more.
1334220
Tirek should be mostly bearable, at least. Rescue at Midnight Castle is just the regular 80s kind of bad, not G3 bad.
oh I liked it better when i hadn't read the synopsis, it was more fun to not know what was going on!@
I was wondering about that. Considering making it more opaque.
1334220
Don't worry. It's a Grant Morrison-style reboot of the character. Everything necessary will be present in the story.
Also, Tirek is the ONLY bad guy in the prison from MLP. Everyone else is from a DIFFERENT 80's cartoon. I may actually have a contest to identify them all.
1334362
True. But you still get "Shoo-Be-Doo" in your head.
1334026
You have plenty to do. I expect this to be a very metal story.
80's villains.
No holds barred.
Dis gon b gud.
The little throwaway lines like, "Hmm. Misnamed." and "it will be neither chocolate nor water that flows through its streets.” make this a great read already.
1334775
O I think that would be wise, the last thing you want is to have the whole first chapter condensed into a three sentence summary.
Try "A routine inspection of the Tartaurus Prison system introduces Twilight to a former acquaintance of a friend and reintorduces her to an old family foe." and then go on from there or something along those lines, I am really bad at these things as mine is particularly clinical and boring. too vague and generic, but I think you can make better with it.
1334871
This is true. I want to make sure that the prospective reading who'd like it gets enough clues, though. It's a weird balance.
1334865
"I was hoping "Misnamed." wouldn't fly over people's heads. As a writer, you never know if your jokes are clear.
Fantastic, I can't wait to see how this plays out!
1334922
I know what you mean, and I know you know how to do it better than I. Good luck.
Mmm, I'm liking this already.
That misnamed line is amazing.
I read all the villain's lines in their voices.
1334362
Okay. I was ready to say that Tirek, despite being a little goofy-looking, was actually pretty damned badass and terrifying. I mean, carrying around a beating heart? Turning ponies into dragon-monsters? Threatening to murder and decapitate children? Holy crap.
And then I saw the sea ponies, and witnessed the true face of horror.
"Shoo-Be-Doo" must be the last thing sinners hear before being dropped into Hell.
Well, I recognized Venger, Tiamat, and Lolth from Dungeons & Dragons. No-Heart sounds familiar, too.
I like Iron Will particularly. He comes home and the traditional greeting is a punch to the head? Reminds me of my family.
1335029>>1335214
Thanks! I'm hoping to give you readers another jaw-dropper next chapter. Ch 2 and 3 will be FUN to write.
1335311
Your cartoon-fu is strong. I actually changed my initial description of No-Hearts voice after checking out YouTube clips.
1335358
Yeah, I suffered a surprise when I put my Pony mp3 directory on shuffle and hit a nice synthpop song. Then I ralized it was Eurobeat Bronies' "Call Upon the Sea Ponies." STUCK IN HEEEEEEEEAD.
1334775
Y'know, I'm inclined to agree with you. Thought in all honestly, if you managed to make Hell not-metal, I'd be amazed.
Breaking Into Heaven - Heaven and Hell
1335796
I got to see them before Ronnie died. It was great to watch them bring Dehumanizer back to life.
1334026
No worries, I just had to get that one in there.
I plan to spend the next 10 chapters looking for headbanging gif emotes.
1336964
There's a great one of Luna somewhere from the Canterlot wedding.
Here's an interesting picture done by someone named K. Sunshine:
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120811204459/bronies/images/6/69/Tirek2.png
1340207
Yeah, I like that one. That was one of the samples I gave to my artist as a reference. There's a LOT of good Tirek art out there.
1336064
I don't think you quite understand how insanely jealous you made me with that one statement. At least I got to see most of the original band at Lollapalooza.
So far, my track record is
1) Fear Factory- Faith No More (Terrible position from stage)
2) Iron Maiden (Blaze Bailey)
3) Gwar (Thrown out by bouncer after guy punched me in face)
4) Hammerfall- Dio in Atlanta, then drove back down the next day to South Florida for Blind Guardian.
5) Iron Maiden (Somewhere Back in Time Tour)
6) Queensryche - Alice Cooper- Heaven and Hell
7) Blind Guardian
(And a bunch of They Might Be Giants, Weird Al, and Jonathan Coulton)
1341722
It's like Joel Robinson said: "We never a' Who's gonna get this?' We always say, 'the right people will get this.'"
i34.photobucket.com/albums/d120/clavdivs/omgwtfbbq.jpg
1348449
In a good way, right?
This is... brilliant. Is there perhaps a giant purple robot locked up somewhere, his cannon removed and the voices in his heads finally silenced? :D
If you hold a contest for their names, I'd lose. Badly.
As for G1... wasn't that bad, after a viewing a few months ago.
1350965
I really, Really, REALLY wanted to have a Transformer cameo. I was shy of including anything humanoid. Then again, you've just given me an idea....
During the part at the beginning when Iron Will's mom is explaining the inevitable destruction of Tartaurus, did anyone else think of this?
1357150
That was actually the exact thing I was thinking of!
Baron Silas Greenback! (or as I was watching it "Baron Ekel von Etzmolch").
Now all we need is a meeting of Count Duckula and Pinkie Pie and BOOM: instant universal meltdown.
Tirek with Discord's powers? This will be a tough one.
Oh, crud. So far, they've chained up the antagonist on Care Bears, Teddy Ruxpln's arch-enemy and possibly others. Heh. I halfway expected to see Mumm-Ra hanging around.
Wow, Twilight and co. are really under pressure now, while Tirek watches some good friends scream "let me out!"
This one has the makings of a real winner!
Ahhh, I've been setting up my own fanfic continuity to have something very similar to this happen. Mine actually involves the Greco-Roman gods of chaos and darkness, though, but was definitely planning on a confrontation between the two. Ooh, and does Tirek have a crush on Nightmare Moon? I have this feeling he does
Oh yeah, I'm liking this!
I didn't get all the references, but they were certainly amusing.
Can't wait to read more.
By looking at the image cover, I'm getting a bit of deja vu with Freddy vs. Jason
“Would that be fear in your eyes, No-Heart? I recognize that flavor. It’s the terror of knowing what this world is about."
Watching some good friend scream, "LET ME OUT!"
1385957>>1386619
Hey, I'm the guy who wrote School Daze; I can't get the musical reference bug out of my system.
I toyed with the idea of making every chapter a Dio song for a while.
1386369
The artist is a HUGE Freddy fan. She has the Freddy rap album hanging in plastic on her wall next to her Vlad the Impaler dish.
1386156
Glad to hear. I also hope to make references that can be missed without loss of enjoyment of the story on a whole.
1386085
Stay tuned for Chapter Two.
Crush?
1385888
Ugh, I REALLY debated having Mumm-Ra in a cell. More cameos in chapter two!
1380984
I grew up watching Danger Mouse everyday. I love that show.
1386817
Danger Mouse and Count Duckula were my first contact with British humor at the tender age of ... nine or ten, I guess.
Quite the culture shock back then. The narrator is best pony.
1386817
Just as long as no one uses the phrases "bumbling boobs" or "meddling kids."
1334775
Alright, I recognized Quellor from Teddy Ruxpin, No-Heart from Care Bears, and Venger from Dungeons and Dragons...
1334220
If you don't want to watch the full episode here's one that basically says what happens in one minute.
I really like this backstory for Tartaurus and where Iron Will came from. Instant headcanon unless we are ever told differently.
Six people are clearly biased against G1.
1357150 Dude, I love that movie. It may be from the olden campy days of the 80's, it was literally the oldest of the old CGI, but there was a special spark to it, a charm that most of today's scifi is sorely lacking. So much has been sacrificed in movies to pander to flashy effects over strong writing (I'm looking at YOU "Transformers" series!)