Chapter 5
Eric stared up the steps to his own house. Rain soaked his strange body to the skin, making what was left of his ill-fitting boxers cling uncomfortably with every movement. That was nothing compared to the horse pointing a weapon at him. Could he swing a weapon with a wing?
"You can't have your phylactery, Searing Gale! Your evil rule is over!"
"Not so loud!" Eric advanced on the steps, sheltering under the awning. His car was outside it—his roommate owned the better spot. "I have neighbors. If they find out you exist... or me... we're screwed."
Last night, Eric had seen this horse as a particularly tiny animal, smaller than some dogs. Now he was a full head taller, even ignoring the steps. What human Eric would think looked cute now seemed incredibly intimidating.
"Your evil empire is in the past, Searing," he said. "You will not regain your phylactery. You will not begin another campaign of horror across Equestria." He raised the spear high overhead, somehow balancing it with the wing and not dropping it. "You'll have to kill me first. While you try, my rescuer will arrive, and destroy you!"
Dramatic, much? Okay, maybe the little horse was still cute. Like a renaissance fair performer in a faux duel. Except he'd seen that spear-point, he already knew it was sharp. "First of all, my name isn't Searing Gale. Second of all, I'm your rescuer. Changing me into a monster is a funny way of thanking me for saving your life."
Can the neighbors see this? The side entrance would only give the neighbors to the immediate right a view of the horse, and their windows were drawn. But Eric was right out in the open for half the street to see, if they happened to be looking.
He chanced a few steps forward, closer to the blade. "Can we have this conversation inside, please? If we get caught before you change me back, we are both screwed."
"Change you... back..." the horse repeated. His wing slackened, and he dropped his voice to a mutter. "Not a Nirik, even when she's angry... nopony ever saw Searing in her Kirin form..."
Eric chanced another few steps closer, now fully out of the rain. The closer he got, the fewer people would be able to see him standing here, and the lower the chances the police would get called. Assuming they weren't already on their way from work. "Please let me into my house. We can work this out somewhere we won't both get discovered. Yeah?"
The horse looked thoughtful, scratching at his chin. Finally he backed up. "I am going to put the phylactery aside. Swear you won't try to retrieve it."
"I have no idea what that is," he said flatly. First he'd transformed into an alien, and now into a miserable pile of soaking-wet fur and clothes. "I swear I will not try to take a thing I have never heard of out of my own house. Please get out of the way."
The horse did, finally. He stepped aside, still carrying the spear. Even if he wasn't pointing it directly at Eric, he could still lift it if he had to. "Not so fast. I have to move it."
Eric made his slow way inside. He turned back, locking the door with his teeth. An unpleasant experience, but better than having a neighbor follow them inside. By the time he turned around again, the little horse was now all the way in the living room, standing between Eric and the huge book.
He'd set it down on Eric's old N64, then faced him, spreading one wing to block Eric's view. "You aren't Searing?" he demanded. "How can I know you're telling the truth? You're a Kirin. Who else would you be, so close to her phylactery?"
"The only Kirin I've ever heard of is a beer," Eric said. He stalked past the creature to the open bathroom door. "Hold up with the interrogation, I can't get water all over this floor. I'll lose my deposit." He opened a cabinet, withdrew a dry towel from within, and kicked the door shut.
He stripped out of what remained of his wet clothes as quickly as he could, tossing them into the tub. Not that there was much point. Now that he had them off and he wasn't on the run from his own colleagues, he had a better idea of just what had happened to him.
The mirror revealed one cruel reality after another. His voice didn't just sound feminine. Though he had to twist his head back over his shoulder to see, he soon confirmed his worst fears. Not just an alien, but a girl alien.
A Kirin. That's what he called me.
At least Eric had towels to dry himself off. Being cold and soaking wet made anything ten times worse.
He was just about dry when the horse prodded at the door, urging it open. "Don't hide in there, Kirin. No preparing an attack."
Eric looked up from the center of the room, standing on a damp towel and probably looking pathetic. "If I wanted to hurt you, I could've left you to bleed out on the side of the road. I wouldn't bring you back to my house so you could threaten me with a spear."
He sighed, slumping to the ground. His back legs smacked down first, in a position that would never make sense for a human being. For a quadruped, it came naturally. "If I knew you were going to send me through Kafka’s Metamorphosis, I would've left you. This is a funny way of thanking me."
The horse looked back in silence, uncomprehending. But this time he recovered more quickly than on the front porch. "What do you mean by 'transformed'?" he asked. "What do you think I did to you, exactly?"
Eric groaned, and stalked past him. If there was any small mercy about this entire process, it was that he had a fairly long, thick tail that naturally fell behind him. That didn't work as well for a male, as he could see from the horse right in front of him. "I mean that last night I was a person. Two legs, two arms, no fur. Now I'm a..." He held up one hoof, clicking its two halves together. "Whatever this thing is. You called it a Kirin. I'm not supposed to be this way."
That last part turned into a slight whine without him even meaning to. But now that he'd seen for himself, he could no longer ignore what he had felt during the whole trip over.
"That... explains why you're living in such a strange place. This building is too large for you." He sagged, his good wing flopping to the side. He dropped into a humble bow. "Stranger, I feel I owe you a sincere apology. I have fallen short of my commission as a royal guard. It is my duty to zealously protect—but I see now what I should've always seen. You are not Searing Gale."
Eric nodded exasperatedly. "Well that's progress. I've never heard of her, or Kirin, or winged horses like you. This whole situation is... a nightmare." He dropped to the ground, covering his head with both legs. "I ran away from work. People knew I was in that bathroom. Even if they don't think it was me—I'm so fired."
"Uh... careful with words like that, Kirin." The horse backed away from him, eyes going wide. "You're already feeling warmer. Maybe... take a few deep breaths, and we can talk through this?"
He was acting like a child in front of a stranger—possibly the only stranger who could help him. But Eric's life was falling apart. There was an alien in his house, he'd barely slept, gotten into an accident, lost his body, probably lost his job. How much worse could one person's life get?
"Why don't we start over?" the little horse prompted. He still sounded afraid, but why would he be? He was much bigger and stronger now. His broken wing wouldn't stop him from using any of those other powerful muscles. "My name is Iron Feather. What's yours?"
Eric groaned, burying his head again. He almost answered, and explained the other thing he had taken from him. But he hadn't even really faced it himself.
"Don't panic, Kirin! I'll just... guess! Yeah, guess. Deep breaths, miss. Let's see. You live here, so... Kirin don't have cutie marks. Hmm. Your name is... Lotus?"
He opened one eye, staring back at the horse. The horse that had a name, Iron Feather. What a strange name. He must've had some silly parents to name him something like that, his wings weren't even made of metal.
Iron Feather pointed at him with his wing, triumphant. "I see you smiling! Got it in one, didn't I? Your name is Lotus. Is there another half?"
Eric stood up, slowly. The beginning of his panic attack was already starting to pass. He wasn't dead—there were no police banging down his door. Whatever was happening here, he would get through it. "What gave you that name?"
"Your pictures," Iron said, gesturing at the living-room walls. They were pathetically naked, with a few identical dollar-store frames without anything in them.
Except that wasn't quite true. They had the placeholder photos that came inside, in this case identical images of a lotus blossom. Identical, generic stock photographs, waiting for a moment when Eric had enough mental bandwidth to print something nice.
He couldn't help himself—Eric grinned, then laughed. "Y-you think... if there were spoons in those frames, would you think that was my name too?" It shouldn’t be so funny to him. But exhaustion stretched the limit of comedy well beyond sanity.
Iron Feather ignored him. He rehearsed the same bow he'd done before, even more dramatic. "Miss Lotus... whatever your family name is... I thank you for rescuing a member of the royal guard on a critical mission. Your intervention saved more lives than just my own. When I make it back to Equestria, you'll be a hero."
Miss. The word grated on his ears, and Eric finally stopped giggling. "You're welcome. But I wouldn't have to rescue you if you hadn't wandered out into the road. I drive a pickup, not a sedan. I barely saw you."
He looked back, confusion replacing some of his confidence. But then he surged on bravely anyway. "The object I'm protecting is extremely dangerous. We must bring it back to Equestria before the evil its sister volume contains is released, and Searing Gale is again unleashed onto the world. I beg you to assist me one final time, and provide me the swiftest possible transportation to Equestria."
Then he sagged, looking satisfied. Had he been rehearsing that since he woke up?
Eric didn't answer, but instead stalked over to the fridge, and nudged it open. The insides looked bleak, but there was still that prepackaged salad on the bottom shelf. Horses should be able to eat that, right? He grabbed it in his mouth, carrying it over to the coffee table. The dining room was too high to use comfortably.
"Please, Lotus. You have no idea how important my mission is." The pegasus retrieved the huge book, and gestured with it, energetically. "If you aren't supposed to be a Kirin, you don't know. Searing was an evil the likes of which modern ponies can't even imagine. She led a horrifying campaign of fire and bloodshed, razed whole villages. We can't let her free."
He fought with the plastic lid for a few seconds before he got it open. The dressing packet was a lost cause, he didn't feel like fighting that battle. He tossed that aside completely. "It's not that," he began. "Or that I'm... talking to a magic talking horse. You want me to get you to an... Equestrian? I know the high school in Billings has an Equestrian team. You're looking for stables?"
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*sigh* Eric, Iron Feather, we need to have a little chat about communication. Stop assuming and start LISTENING.
At least Iron Feather is accepting that Eric rescued him. Still they need to communicate more clearly if they are to get out of this mess. Eris doesn't even know how to get to Equestria and right now he doesn't even know what that is.
We're realy starting to get a better picture of what Iron Feather's mission entails, but I've been thinking for a while that he's in over his head. He knows this book contains powerful magic and is apparently able and willing to use it against him, and he still took up this mission even though he's practically green? I really hope he wasn't the only one tasked with such an important thing.
He's mentioned before that the book would try to kill him, but it doesn't even need to do that, it just needs to stop him from returning it. Transporting him to a completely different world does the trick. He doesn't even realize yet how far from home he's gotten. How did he ever think he could stand up to such a thing?
11496688
Yep.
The mission is set but we still have to hear how Iron Feather got to Earth. I'm guessing Eric is an incomplete Kirin without Gale's other half. It's probably a bad idea if Eric gets access to the Nirik volume. That being said, there's no doubt Eric will face Gale and the Nirik half if he has any hope of escaping this.
We're five chapters in, and the protagonists who just met are already doing the thing where they communicate as poorly as possible in order to generate extra false drama that wasn't even necessary because the base plot hook already has plenty of real drama. Eric gets a bit of a pass because he's panicking, but why is the trained guard entrusted with the apocalypse-in-a-can being such a dumbass?
Eris is holding things together better than I would have. When I first saw myself nearly fully transformed in the work restroom mirror, my co-workers would've burst in and found a dragon-lizard-pony-thing screaming its head off.
Lotus, eh? Will the name stick for Eric? (probably
)
Don't know why, but Iron Feather sounds like Wheatly from Portal 2 with this quote.
11502239
Well, probably because Iron Feather was in fact a hotheaded rookie who volunteered to partake in a seriously dangerous mission? Seriously, who even let him do that?
Oh boy
As others have noted, these two repeatedly talking past each other is already getting aggravating. Especially Iron Feather, who doesn’t seem to have any capacity for handling outside-context problems and barely any more for questioning his own assumptions. Hopefully they can work through this quickly.
Also, I probably shouldn’t read too much into this kirin having a mane identical to Twilight Velvet, but Sparkle did famously burst into flames that one time…
11502239
On the one hand, a beginner’s guide to the multiverse may not be part of basic training. On the other, it probably should be given how interdimensionally permeable Starscribe’s Equestrias tend to be.
As someone who has spent a significant amount of time in Montana, I am quite amused by Eric's thought process of "Need horses? Go all the way to Billings!"
humans are definetly not acting like real people in this story
11503558
It’s just a little comedic silliness.
Welcome to every sitcom ever, dude.
Eric is so lost lol. He knows he's in waaay over his head. Iron Feather's gonna be even more horrified when he finds out.
A world without magic. A powerful Equestrian mage/warlord would have a field day even before we get into Liches. And if this is a completely unmapped dimension, our heroes are on their own. Egads.
11502505
I see it!
11502239
Let's be fair, you aren't particularly going to expect to be sent to another dimension of aliens with advanced technology. He's been thrown off balance. Searing is probably one of the few beings who even KNOW of earth. As far as making assumptions about "Lotus" 's name - he's just trying to prevent a Nirik-induced fire burning down the house of the only one here who can help him. Even if he's wrong, it works to defuse her rage and therefore have the effect he's hoping for.
11502514
Luna's judgment of character is a bit archaic.
So not only is it a forced transformation, but it's also a forced sex change as well?!
Yeah nah, I'm stopping here. Would've been fine with the transformation being forced, but forcibly changing someone from male to female, or vice versa is a big hell no from me.
Edit: Again, the immaturity of some people on here. Fuck me I guess for voicing my thoughts on this......
11540770
People are downvoting because nobody asked. If you want to stop reading, then do so. If you want to continue, then do so. That’s your business. If you had something constructive or relevant to add about the story or some interesting interpretation, then nobody would bat an eye, but you’re just here saying, “I don’t like this, it’s not my cup of tea.” It’s a nothing burger of a comment.
nopony ever saw Searing in her Kirin form
...so you assumed the first Kirin you say after waking up is the one and only Searing gale. But no one's seen her before as a Kirin...so there should be no description. Yep...you make a fine guard