• Published 25th Sep 2012
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Friendship is Deadly - UrbanPonification



Leon is a human now turned into a pony, with a mysterious past that could easily end Equestria.

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Episode Two: Top Gun

Friendship is Deadly
Episode 2
Top Gun

Leon softly awoke to knocking at his front door. He opened his eyes lazily and yawned loudly. He stumbled out of bed and knocked over his nightstand, while outside all could hear loud crashing sounds. Shortly followed by a chainsaw sound, then a cat screaming, and finally, with him coming down the stairs. "I AM COMING!!" he yelled. He opened his door and looked up to see Fluttershy softly smiling at him. He looked like a half dead zombie as he narrowed his eyes, "What?"

"Oh!" she took flight and covered her mouth shy-like, "I am sorry I disturbed you. I was just wondering if you would like to come out to play today?"

He raised his eye brow, "Uhm, its like.." He looked up to see it was barely dawn, as the sun was just teasingly touching the horizon. "Don't you have anything better to do? Like sleep??"

She sighed, "No, I just thought you were a nice pony , that's all," She lowered her head and her ears.

"NO! NO!" he yelled and flailed his hooves, then slammed the door as more disturbing sounds are heard from inside. Followed shortly by an explosion sending the whole house into the air slightly. Leaving a confused and scared Fluttershy, floating in the air at his door. He came back out panting, "I am sorry! I had to close a demonic time warp portal I most have opened in my sleep with my magic horn!"

"A what?" she asked concerned trying to see inside his house. He blocked her as she'd try whatever she could to see inside. Then she looked at him with a puzzled look, "Uhm, so you gonna come play with me then?"

He gulped, "Sure," sweating nervously. He joined her as they walked to a hill, and he guessed she wanted to see the sun rise. He sat on his pony rump as she landed next to him, both of them under a tree. He calmed down a bit as they watched the sun rise next to a mountain with a majestic castle perched on its side. He smiled as he looked to see how much Fluttershy glew in the morning sun.

"It's magical isn't it Leon?" she turned to him, and her eyes widened to see him staring at her.

He stumbled back and blushed, playing with his hooves, "Y-Yes!!! It is beautiful!!"

"So I am gonna go and feed my animals," she smiled and lifted off into the sky. He dreamed of why he wasn't a pegasus pony, cause if he was, he would soar through the sky truly free. He saw the familiar pegasus pony Raibow Dash soar by.

"HEY RAINBOW DASH!!!" He called out to her and she waved then did a barrel roll to him. She landed infront of him as she smiled brightly.

"Hey Leon!!" she yelled, "How is your day going?"

"Great!!" he smiled wide, "I know what I want to do today! I want to learn to fly!!"

She gave him a blank stare, like the stare when someone tells you their pregnent and your the daddy, "You want to fly?" He nodded smiling wide, she was holding something back, he saw her lips trying to gulp it down. Tears filled her eyes, as she bursted out into the biggest laugh he had ever seen. She pointed at him, "HEY EVERYONE LEON WANTS TO FLY!!!! A UNICORN WANTS TO FLY!!!" She rolled onto the ground almost hyper ventilating from the shear laughter. She snorted as she laughed harder and harder, he felt his rage build now.

He roared, "I WILL BE THE BEST DAMN FLYER EVER AND I WILL KNOCK YOUR RAINBOW BUTT OUT OF THE SKY!!!"

She calmed down and looked to him, "And with what, your horn? I don't think a horn is very aerodynamic!!" She went back to laughing even more.

"FINE!!" he yelled, "I challenge you!! I will knock out of the sky if it is last thing I do!!"

She giggled and snorted, "Alright I will humor you, cause this is gonna be so hilarious!!" She continued to laugh as his face turned red and he stomped away.

He went to Twilight's Libary, he knocked on her door. She came to answer and looked at him, "Morning Leon.."

"MORNING!!" he growled and entered.

"What is your problem?" she glared at him as he trouted by her and went right for her books.

"Me angry!" he mumbled flipping through he books. Spike walked in and noticed the new stallion.

"TWILIGHT!!!" he yelled and pointed, "There is a burgalur in our Tree!!"

"Oh spike," she trouted over to Leon, "It's just my boy friend Leon!"

"When did you get a boy to date you?" he screatched his head.

They both looked up at him and then to each other, blushing a bit. Twilight explained, "No silly, he is my male friend!"

"Oh," Spike still seemed puzzled picking up his scrolls, "I got those scrolls you asked for!" He rushed down the stairs and placed the scrolls on the table then headed for the door. He smiled, "I'll leave you two love birds alone..." He closed the door, leaving Twilight and Leon to look at each other.

Leon smiled evily, "We should totally pretend like we are having sex and see if he is listening in!"

She was at that time drinkng coffee, when she spat it out all over her book, "WHAT?!?!?"

"Oh nothing," Leon boyishly giggled as he looked for a book on flying and spells to fly.

"What are you looking for Leon?" she asked looking over to him.

"Looking for something to help me fly!!" he answered.

"Oh I have a spell for butterfly wings!" she came over to him.

"Ewwwww" he replied, "I want to fly!! Not look like a girl!!"

"Well fine!!" she snorted, "That's all I got and I ain't gots no more!!"

He grumbled, "Fine!!" He smiled evily, "I will use modern science then!" He still remembered the strange military training on how to build things and was planning to build an air plane. He knocked on Fluttershy's door, and she slowly opened it to see him. She opened her door and came out to see him, smiling of course. She must like when he comes around cause she is always smiling when he is near her. "YOU!! COME!!! NOW!!" he grabbed her and stuffed her in a sack as she shrieked. He lifted the sack over his back and carried the struggling whimpering Fluttershy away to the Forest. He went inside and went into a cave that he scouted out earlier. He let her out of the bag as she shivered and whimpered more.

"Please don't hurt me!!' she quivered.

"I am not gonna hurt you," he laughed.

"THEN WHY DID YOU STUFF ME IN A BAG!!" she yelled as a different side of Fluttershy showed.

"Me no want anyone to know my plans!" he explained, "I need your help I am trying to defeat Rainbow Dash in a dog fight as a challenge. And I want to fly, so would you please help me?"

"Of course I would," she smiled then that smile dissappeared into rage, "But, if you ever stuff me in a bag. I'll!!....I'll!!!" She roared at him, "SKIN YOU ALIVE AND USE YOUR ENTRAILS FOR JUMP ROPE!!!" She took flight and crossed her hooves, pouting, leaving a scared and shocked Leon, frozen in place.

"Yes ma'am!" he looked to her and said. They began to work, Leon rolled out the design of a modern fighter plane, a F-22 Raptor, with a few personel modification. They start building, as Fluttershy welds sheets of high tech steel that Leon had Rarity search out with her mineral scanning ability. He used a miniature ion reactor, like the ones they used in his home world. They toiled through the night building a hangar for their new plane. Leon worked on armaments such as a paintball machine gun, and a real one. He made two kinds of ordinates, heat seeking missles of air to air, air to ground, and cluster. Each one came in live and paintball for safety. Fluttershy was a natural with blow torches and mig welding. Leon handled the science stuff, as the machine was crafted by strangely easy to find alloys. Leon figured ponies don't use them, so their free game in his opinion. The Ion engine was the energy efficient verision, it was easy to refuel. Morning came and they stood outside to set up their advance radar and support options. Leon knew he was going overboard, but he always believed in being overboard, always be prepared. Plus, he wanted to see the look on Rainbow Dash's face when she realised how screwed she will be when he unleashed his attack.

They stood and marveled at their creation, a fully functional pony compatible F-22 Raptor with more guns then is physically humane. He climbed in as he put over his space combat helmet on, and it was capable of space flight, and he had no idea why he did that. He just thought is fricking awesome, if your gonna build a plane, you build a fricking rocket he believed. They do alittle dance on top of it, swinging their hips and holding hands dancing around in a circle. They got serious though as they jumped in and strapped in. FlutterShy spoke over the mic, "Leon what should he call this bird?"

"We call it the Windigo!!" he started the engines as the machine hummed with the sounds of the engines. Fluttershy got out though and painted a demonic horse on the side with flames shooting from its mouth and flaming wings, as well as it just being mostly on fire. She got back in and smiled as she started up the weapon systems, he looked back and nodded.

"All systems green!!" she yelled putting on her space combat helmet. Leon turned on their cyber link helmets, which tap into thought waves, so whatever they think, the plane does. Removed any control failure and reaction times. He brought the engines up to speed as he let go of the manual controls. He felt the plane start to roll , as they moved to the underground run way. He slammed on the throttle as the plane exploded forward, both of them sank into their seats, as the light at the end of the tunnel got closer and closer. They bursted out a mountain side as they hit mach 5 easy, going super sonic with no problem.

"Do you have a solid copy on our target?" He asked.

"Yes Big Bird!" she smiled as Raibow Dash is seen on screen relaxing on a cloud.

"Good!" he yelled and made the plane bank left from its upper atmosphere position, that he had climbed too. He looked back as he spoke over the mic, "That UAV is doing good, worked better then I thought. How is our planetary satellite feeds coming along?"

"All systems up and running," she replied, "Ion Cannon fully functional."

"I can't believe we built this all in one night!!' Leon laughed, as he turned on some music. Some old heavy earth metal, he found in a device, that hospital said was his.

Fluttershy loved it though, as they soared like a majestic hawk, "I like this song!!"

"Its a classic!!" he smiled back to her, "You can't go hunting from above without some rock!" He held up his hoove to her, and she was puzzled. "Pound the hoove bro!!" he laughed. She pounded his hoove as they laughed, then it was back to business. Leon did a barrell roll, and then swooped up into a loopy de loop. "Alright enough goofing off, lets go get Rainbow Butt!" he pulled his plane into a hard right and down into a nose dive, at an angle aimed for Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash was completely unaware of the danger that was heading for her, as she took a morning nap. She heard something, like a faint roaring of a plane engine. but to her it was an alien sound. She looked around, then down, but nothing, she noticed a small shadow on the ground from her cloud though. She looked up, but saw nothing, then she looked at the sun, as she noticed something slightly blocking it. It got bigger and bigger as she could see flickering lights and paint balls pelted around her and flew by her. Her eyes widened as she beheld the winged steel beast sceaming at her, at speeds she only dreamed of. She squeeled and took off flying away, all while the plane changed course and darted after her. "I got blue boogie insight!" Leon reported, "Flutter DIe do you have a lock?"

"Locked and loaded," she replied and fired a twin volley of heat seekers. Rainbow Dash screamed as she desperatly tried to get away, explosions of paint blow up all around.

"Damn she is two small for our heat seekers to hit!" Leon cursed, "Switch to machine gun!" They fired a burage of paint balls at her, she reacted, however, and swooped down through Ponyville. Leon licked his lip as he hunted her down, screaming ponies ran as some are pelted by paint balls. She swooped up in a skyward dash, trying to desperatly get away from him. He did the same, with no trouble at all, she freaked out now. She went so fast she did a sonic rainboom, but it didn't matter, cause he pushed his plane to mach 7. She was screwed, but she kept desperatly climbing for her life. She reached the edge of space, as tears filled her eyes, she couldn't breath and it was so cold. She did a reverse arch and zoomed back down to the ground. Leon made his plane go into its hover mode, as it angled down and blasted after her. He had Fluttershy fire off more missles, all of which she kept dodging. She panicked and right before she hit the ground her wings flung out and she soared straight through Apple Jack's farm. Apple Jack was coming out of the barn with Big Mac, when they both saw a frantic Rainbow Dash racing at them. She zoomed right through the barn, they looked puzzled and heard something coming. They looked and saw the jet raging at them, they both screamed wide eyed, and then leaped for safety. The jet zoomed right through the barn, as AJ and Big Mac where frozen with shock. Leon lost sight of Rainbow Dash, as he turned to his lovely co-pilot, "Get me a thermal scan." She did what he said, as he brought the ship into hover mode and it was like helicopter now, majestically moving through the buildings. Ponies fled in terror as its jets hissed and spat fire to stablize.

"AYE!! CAPTIAN I FOUND HER!!" she interrupted the silence, "She is hiding on city hall!!"

"Good!!" he banked left and turned on alittle device as the plane became slient, then slowly fadded away into nothingness. It would make a wind as it passed over, but not a sound. It was a special stealth mode he added just for fun.

Rainbow Dash could feel her tiny heart almost beating out of her chest, she looked around the corner, nothing. She sighed with relief as she came out of hiding and talked to herself, "I lost that thing, whatever it was?!" She wiped her brow off of sweat, but if she had been looking she would have seen the flickering and shimmering of something that was invisible, creeping up on her. The plane materialized right infront of her, and she felt something drop from behind her, but she didn't want to know what her body just did. Her eyes widened as she waved innocently at the plane and the two pilots waved back. She gulped as she slowly and innocently took flight, the plane's nose turned and followed her. She rounded it, and then took off only leaving a cloud copy of herself. The plane banked and blasted away after her. She flew to Canterlot, meanwhile, Pincess was writing to Twilight.

"Dear faithful student," she said to herself as she wrote, "I heard from spike you had a boy friend, how wonderful. I wish to meet your new companion on my next visit by the end of today. I am so proud of you, your loving teacher Princess Celestia." She sent the letter on its way and went away from her writing pedestal to her thrown room. She saw Princess Luna, and they greeted each other, "My dearest sister.

"Hello," Luna smiled, "How is your day big sis?"

"Fine," Celestia nuzzled her smaller sister, "Your's?"

"Wonderful!" she replied, jumping for joy, "Ponies are actually starting to like me and the night I bring."

"That is wonderful dearest sister!" Celestia smiled. Suddenly the two sister heard a strange sound. Princess Celestia replied to it, "What in Discord is that sound?" Princess Luna shrugged in reply. Then Rainbow Dash came flying in, looking back and screaming out in terror as she flew through a the other window. The jet came roaring in hover mode, as it panned right and left, but no sign of its quarry. The sisters looked shock, their mouths hanging low. The nose of the plane aimed to the ceiling as the cap of the nose split apart. It reveal a laser cannon . It charge dark red, and fired off a beam red into the ceiling. Debris fell to the ground hard, and the machine rose up through the hole in search of its prey. Leaving, the two ponies deities to wonder what in the name of Equestria just came in their castle.

Shinning Armor came busting with a battering ram, "MY PRINCESS'" He rushed to them, and looked at them puzzled. They just held that face of shock as he waved his hoove infront of them. "Oh crap!!" he face hooved himself.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash went into a nearby canyon to try and escape her pursuer. The jet came roaring at her, as the two pilots rocked out to some hardcore music. They head banged and did the air guitar to some death core. They hoove pounded, and Leon took aim, as the desperate Raibow Dash tried to escape. He used his targeting system, when he heard a mysterious male voice say, "Use the horse Leon..."

"What the hell is the horse!?!" he yelled out confused.

"DAMMIT JUST TURN OFF YOU DAMN TARGETING COMPUTER!!" the voice demanded.

"Alright mysterious cameo I will never understand!!" he smiled as he gave his serious face and turned off his targeting computer.

"Sir," Fluttershy spoke out, "Your turned off you targeting computer!!"

"Its ok!!' he smiled wide and evily, all while Rainbow Dash desperatly tried to escape, "I have you now!!" He saw a flicker from the sun and the Wonder Bolts came soaring in. He looked to his 3 o'clock high and saw them, "OH SHIT!!!:"

Rainbow Dash smiled and screamed, "THE WONDER BOLTS!!"

They raged at the jet like a comet at, he screamed out, "FLUTTSHY USE THE ION CANNON!!!!!" A beam of blue light came from the sky and the Wonder Bolts are hit by an Ion beam. It dissipates to reveal three burned Wonder Bolts blinking in confusion. They screamed out in terror and flew off into the distance. "Now Rainbow Butt I win!!" Leon laughed as he locked on to her.

She panicked and cried out in a deep voice, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Leon fired the missles and pulled away as the missles raged at her. She tried to out run then and out maneuver them, but it was no use. She screamed in terror as they flew right at her and exploded, covering her in red paint. She tumbled out of the canyon and spun to the ground like a fly that had just been swatted.

Leon and Fluttershy swooped above her and hovered, they waved and soared off into the wild blue.

Later that night, a knock is heard from Twilight's door, she came to open it and it was a dripping red Rainbow Dash. Twilight giggled a bit then bursted out laughing, while Rainbow Dash didn't seem so thrilled. "W-What h-happened!!" Twilight tried to ask.

Rainbow Dash used her hoove to swish her hair back then asked, "Do you have any books on how to defeat a flying machines?"

"Why do you ask?" Twilight replied.

"Let's say.." she sighed, "I am not the only fastest thing in the sky anymore..."

"Let me guess Leon?" Twilight asked in response.

"Yes..." Rainbow Dash, "So you got anything I can get him back with?"

"I been working on something," Twilight smiled and pushed a pulled a book down, causing the sound of heavy machinery to emanate from the floor. A part of the floor slide away, with a staircase leading to an unknown place. Dash gasped, while Twilight lead her down the stairs.......