An Unpleasant Reflection

by Tumbleweed

Chapter 3

Sneaking out of Princess Twilight’s palace was easy enough. There were plenty of large windows set high up, perfect for letting sunlight in-- and errant pegasuses out.* It took the other-me a few tries to get the hang of his wings, but he managed a wobbly flightpath soon enough. And soon, the two of us were out and free in the Ponyville sky. I figured it’d be easier to slip out of the palace and drop into Ponyville’s singular drinking establishment than it would be to rummage through the whole of a Princess’ palace in search of the liquor cabinet.

*Once again, Sentry brings up an interesting historical feature without being aware of it. Namely, windows high enough and wide enough to allow easy passage to flying creatures was something of a feature of Harmony-era architecture, acting as an invitation for not only pegasus ponies, but also Griffons, Changelings, Hippogriffs, and even adolescent dragons. That Princess Twilight’s palace would have such a feature is indicative of her ongoing efforts to befriend creatures of all kinds.

“Stretch your wings out, lad.” I told my counterpart. “You’ll fly smoother that way. I don’t want anypony to see you, think you’re me, and then decide I’ve forgotten how to fly.”

“I’m trying!” Fake-Flash flapped his wings too hard. “This whole ‘flying’ thing is pretty new to me, you know?”

“Obviously.” I said. Thankfully, the tavern wasn’t far, and so we touched down a few minutes later. Counterfeit-Flash even managed not to fall on his face as he landed.

“So, like, this is a bar?” Faux-Flash said.

“Master of obvservation, I see.”

“I don’t think I’m old enough to go inside.”

“What? Of course you are. You’re me, after a fashion, and I can go in. Ipso facto, so can you.”

“Won’t, like, everybody think it’s weird that there’s two of you? Us? Me? Whatever?”

“I’ll just tell them you’re a distant relation or somesuch. Or maybe we’ll get lucky and everyone will already be soused enough to think they’re seeing double.” I gave the other-me a firm push, and we headed inside.

It was still relatively early, so there weren’t too many ponies in the pub. The ones that were didn’t bat an eye as they saw a pair of Flash Sentries enter. Compared to some of the things I’ve heard happen in Ponyville, the two of us were downright pedestrian. We claimed two stools at the far end of the bar, and I wasted little time in ordering a pair of ciders. Ponyville specialty, you know.

I drained half of the first one in a single gulp, letting the sweet and apple-y liquid do its work. Clone-Flash just stared at his, as if someone had dropped a live toad in his drink.*

*Which, incidentally, is a medicinal practice in certain regions that Sentry may have visited.

“Drink up, lad. It’s good for you. Or do they not have mugs where you come from?”

“I-- alright.” Faux-Flash picked up his mug with both front hooves and took a tentative sip. Immediately, his ears perked, and he looked down at his mug in wonder. “Whoa, that’s pretty tasty.”

“Would I lie to myself?” I said. Just showed the Other-Flash’s cluelessness that he believed me.

My counterpart nursed his drink, while I drained mine at a far healthier rate. The whole time, Store-Brand-Knockoff-Flash kept quiet, looking around with a bewildered look on his face. It wasn’t long before I couldn’t stand the silence myself, so I spoke up.

“So then, lad. Since you at least look like me, you’re pretty popular with the ladies, no?”

“Uh, I guess so?” Other-Flash said. “Like, uh-- I dated Sunset Shimmer for a bit, but I think she was only interested in me as part of her evil scheme to get popular and take over the school.”

I peered at my counterpart over the rim of my tankard. “Damnation, we might be more alike than I thought.”

“And then I went to a dance with Twilight, and that was fun, but then she had to leave, until she came back, and I thought we could be a thing again but it turns out that it was the other Twilight, and she wasn’t interested.”

“That tracks.” Princess Twilight, in whatever magical shenanigans she might get up to, would obviously have better sense to get involved with a whelp of a lad, even one lucky enough to be wearing my face.

“But then after that, I started dating Ditzy Do, so that’s a thing? But she’s so sweet and so nice that sometimes I wonder if she’s, like, too good for me?”

“She probably is.” I thumped my empty mug down and waved the bartender over for a refill.

“What?” False-Flash sputtered.

“I mean, if you’re thinking it, then it’s probably true. Happens to me all the time. I’m just so naturally handsome that mares of all sorts can’t help but fall head-over-hooves for me. Add in the uniform and the dashing scars, and it’s downright inevitable.”

“Oh … kay?”

The bartender switched my empty cider out for a full one, and I took another sip. “Look, lad. You should learn this early on. You’ve got two options. You could break it off with your Ditzy, and make it a point to be somewhere else until she stops crying and throwing things. I presume she doesn’t have any older brothers who’d want to avenge her sullied honor, at least? As if she does you might want to come back and visit this world for awhile.”

“And the other option?”

“You hold onto that girl for dear life, and hope she doesn’t come to her senses. That part’s harder.”

“Oh.” Other-Flash furrowed his brow and peered at me. “Do … you have a girlfriend?”

“Well, yes. Though ‘girlfriend’ is a rather pedestrian term to describe the particular nuances of my relationship with Carrot Top.”

“Her? Carrot Top, with the frizzy hair?”

“Well, not your Carrot Top, but her equivalent. She’s a perfectly lovely pony … most of the time. Lovely eyes. Hell of a dancer. And, you know, she’s got a rather athletic frame, if you get my drift.”

To judge by the look on my counterpart’s face, he certainly did not. And before I could elucidate further, a rather familiar voice cleared her throat behind me. Slowly, I turned on my barstool, and sure enough there was Carrot Top, in the flesh. I could tell it was ‘my’ Carrot by the annoyed look on her face.

“Sentry.” She craned her head to look past me, to my doppelganger. “What did you do?”

“For the record, none of this is my fault.”

Carrot Top arched a brow. “You always say that.”

“Because it’s always true! Or, well, almost always.”

“Um. Hi?” Faux-Flash waved a hoof at an attempt at politeness.

Carrot Top affixed her familiar, annoyed glare on me, and rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “We don’t have time for this, Sentry. Something’s happening.”

A tankard and a half’s worth of pleasant, cider-induced flush drained away in an instant. “Just what … kind of something?”

“It’s--” Carrot Top looked past me again, eyeing Fake-Flash. “Delicate.”

“Of course it is.” I steadied myself with a deep breath, and turned to face my counterpart. “Stay here. Enjoy your drink. Carrot Top and I are going to have a quick word, and we’ll be right back. So don’t go anywhere. Understand?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Good.”

With that, Carrot Top led me past the cozy bar, through a low ceilinged hallway, and into a crowded (but presumably secure) storage closet. The closet’s tight dimensions forced Carrot Top’s steely-thewed form against mine, which would have been far more pleasant in other circumstances.

At least the privacy allowed me to fill Carrot Top in on Princess Twilight’s mad “two Flashes” scheme. Once I finished a thorough explanation of how none of the current nonsense was any way my fault, Carrot Top just rolled her eyes.

“That’s the least we’ve got to worry about right now.”

“Of course it is.” I grumbled, and shifted my balance so my wings wouldn’t get tangled up in a shelf of cleaning equipment. “So what’s the trouble this time?”

“That theft in Manehattan? Cultists.”

“Oh hell.” My voice went dry. “What kind? Discord cultists? Sombra cultists? Tirek cultists?”

“Does it matter?”

“I suppose not.”

“Miss Maple wasn’t fast enough to catch them, but she figured out they were on a train to Ponyville, so she sent a telegram ahead. It’s up to us to intercept them before they can use their stolen artifact. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re going to target Princess Twilight.”

“What did they steal? Some kind of weapon?”

“Something called the Vessel of Valor-- I’m not sure what it does, but if cultists want it, it can’t be good.”

“Right then.” I started forming a plan. “In that case, we’d better get back to the Palace so we can keep an eye on the Princess.” And then it would be a simple matter to keep the immeasurably powerful (if academically inclined) alicorn between Yours Truly and whatever today’s calamity was.

“That … might be the best option. Even if I call in a favor from Sweetie Drops, we wouldn’t be able to cover all of Ponyville. If you keep an eye on things inside the palace, and I’ll patrol outside, we might have a chance. Come on.” And with that, she opened up the closet door and the two of us tumbled into the hallway, dignity more or less intact (because nopony was there to see it). Carrot Top bustled out into the bar-- and stopped, suddenly enough that I bumped into her.

“Sentry.” Carrot Top said, very slowly. “Where did you go?”

“I’m--” I followed Carrot’s gaze over to the end of the bar, and a pair of decidedly empty barstools. “Oh.”

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

*Which, incidentally, is a medicinal practice in certain regions that Sentry may have visited.

I, fail to see how.

“Oh.” Other-Flash furrowed his brow and peered at me. “Do … you have a girlfriend?”

Of a sort.

“Miss Maple wasn’t fast enough to catch them, but she figured out they were on a train to Ponyville, so she sent a telegram ahead. It’s up to us to intercept them before they can use their stolen artifact. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re going to Princess Twilight.”

Flash can never win, can he?

[Spamotron]

Odd, Human Flash is usually pretty sensible and one cider shouldn’t compromise his judgment. I wonder what happened.

[Scratchpad]

11492242
There is a traditional Chinese medicine made from the exception of a variety of toad. It's supposed to have cardiotonic properties. Granted, it usually collected and dried into powder or tablets, but I suppose you could like a toad.
Additionally, the poison arrow frog secretes a poison that is, like the name suggests, is used to create poison arrow heads.

[Bicyclette]

*Once again, Sentry brings up an interesting historical feature without being aware of it. Namely, windows high enough and wide enough to allow easy passage to flying creatures was something of a feature of Harmony-era architecture, acting as an invitation for not only pegasus ponies, but also Griffons, Changelings, Hippogriffs, and even adolescent dragons. That Princess Twilight’s palace would have such a feature is indicative of her ongoing efforts to befriend creatures of all kinds.

love this footnote a lot

The ones that were didn’t bat an eye as they saw a pair of Flash Sentries enter.

missed opportunity to say “Flashes Sentry”

“Uh, I guess so?” Other-Flash said. “Like, uh-- I dated Sunset Shimmer for a bit, but I think she was only interested in me as part of her evil scheme to get popular and take over the school.”

I peered at my counterpart over the rim of my tankard. “Damnation, we might be more alike than I thought.”

ahaha love it

“But then after that, I started dating Ditzy Do, so that’s a thing? But she’s so sweet and so nice that sometimes I wonder if she’s, like, too good for me?”

aww dang, third time i’ve seen this ship in the contest!

“Well, not your Carrot Top, but her equivalent. She’s a perfectly lovely pony … most of the time. Lovely eyes. Hell of a dancer. And, you know, she’s got a rather athletic frame, if you get my drift.”

To judge by the look on my counterpart’s face, he certainly did not. And before I could elucidate further, a rather familiar voice cleared her throat behind me. Slowly, I turned on my barstool, and sure enough there was Carrot Top, in the flesh. I could tell it was ‘my’ Carrot by the annoyed look on her face.

i mean this is just what Flash Sentry’s life is like i imagine! heavy on the comedic timing

The closet’s tight dimensions forced Carrot Top’s steely-thewed form against mine, which would have been far more pleasant in other circumstances.

hoowee

“Oh hell.” My voice went dry. “What kind? Discord cultists? Sombra cultists? Tirek cultists?”

Equestria sure has a lot of cults, doesn’t it? kinda makes Starlight’s whole deal seem more normal

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

“I’ll just tell them you’re a distant relation or somesuch. Or maybe we’ll get lucky and everyone will already be soused enough to think they’re seeing double.” I gave the other-me a firm push, and we headed inside.

distant relative or some such.*

“Oh … kay?”

"Oh...*

“Oh.” Other-Flash furrowed his brow and peered at me. “Do … you have a girlfriend?”

"Do...*

“Well, yes. Though ‘girlfriend’ is a rather pedestrian term to describe the particular nuances of my relationship with Carrot Top.”

Question answered, they are dating!

“Well, not your Carrot Top, but her equivalent. She’s a perfectly lovely pony … most of the time. Lovely eyes. Hell of a dancer. And, you know, she’s got a rather athletic frame, if you get my drift.”

pony...*

A tankard and a half’s worth of pleasant, cider-induced flush drained away in an instant. “Just what … kind of something?”

what...*

“That … might be the best option. Even if I call in a favor from Sweetie Drops, we wouldn’t be able to cover all of Ponyville. If you keep an eye on things inside the palace, and I’ll patrol outside, we might have a chance. Come on.” And with that, she opened up the closet door and the two of us tumbled into the hallway, dignity more or less intact (because nopony was there to see it). Carrot Top bustled out into the bar-- and stopped, suddenly enough that I bumped into her.

"That...*

“I’m--” I followed Carrot’s gaze over to the end of the bar, and a pair of decidedly empty barstools. “Oh.”

Great, just what they needed.