Chapter 22: The Changeling
Light pushed Pinkie off of him.
"What was that for, Lighty?" She asked.
"I don't like change." Light simply stated.
"Eh?"
"Wow. Very uncharacteristic of you. Anyway, I don't like being put in an impostor situation. They're scary, they're confusing, and they're just unnecessary."
"What d'you mean, 'Impostor?'"
"Well, if you look at that thing there, which Pinkie doesn't have, and that unconscious pony with the frizzy tail, which only Pinkie has, you kinda see my point."
"Well..." 'Pinkie' said, "When you put it that way..." She was suddenly morphed into an entirely chitin appearance, with none of Pinkie's features whatsoever. This was accompanied by a sort of unfamiliar, whirring sound that Light wasn't sure was a sound anything could make.
He turned around, and saw a well dressed stallion with a brown coat, and a spiky mane with a darker shade of brown. The sound seemed to be coming from a sort of metal stick object he was carrying, which was glowing blue at one of the sides. It took a bit of squinting before he realized it was the look-a-like of Doctor Whooves.
"Er. Hi. What are you doing with that stick?"
"Ish a shhnic scriwdrrver. Irhm t'eh Dccter!"
"Uh. Cool. Might wanna stop using that, I can already see she's a... whatever."
"Sbbdue it!"
That much... I understood. Subdue it. Light ran at the thing and tackled it to the ground, then kept a hoof on the neck so it wouldn't get away, and stood up. The stallion then stopped using it, and placed the screwdriver in his outfit's pocket. To be exact, he was wearing a blue suit, with a white shirt under it, and was sporting a red tie.
"Hi. I'm Live Light. And I am in distress." Live stated.
"Oh, it's you! Well, it's nice to finally meet you, Light!" The stallion replied.
"Eh?"
"Oh, right. My fault, I haven't introduced myself comprehensibly. I am the Doctor, but you know me as John Smith, your pen pal."
My brain is full of buck.
"So," Light began. "What you're saying is. I have been speaking to an alien. From a TV show. Who exists. And just saved me."
"Yes, pretty much." Smith replied. "Although, for now, don't call me the Doctor, trying to keep quiet."
"Why? Planning an alien invasion?"
"No. Stopping it. ...Well, technically, they're not aliens are they, they just feel like it in my experience!"
"Oh...kay... what is this thing?" Light gestured with his free hoof to the thing he subdued.
"Oh, that, as many ponies here will tell you, is a Changeling. Previously encountered on the royal wedding between Princess Cadence and Shining Armor."
"Princess Who?" Light asked. The Doctor then burst into a fit of giggles. "What?" Light was now confused.
"I'm s-sorry, hah, It's just usually, I get asked that question, except as 'Doctor' who, and when you said Princess Who I-" He stopped when he noticed Light's seriously concerned expression regarding the events of the current. "Sorry. Anyway. You might know that princess better as Mi Amore Cadenza... if you don't know her another way, anyway."
"...Cool. What now?"
"Well, we can't really kill it, we don't have any killing objects, and I don't like them anyway... Well, save for the pony there, but I doubt she'd like to be used as a ram."
"Er, Doc." Light intervened. "That is my friend. Get her out, please."
"Hm? Oh, right, yes. I'll do that. Also, about a few seconds after I get her out, I'd really advice running. That's a priority." He said, as he was heading to Pinkie.
"Doc. I have it subdued..."
"Yes, that's why you should run. By now it's angry."
"But you told me to subdue it!"
"Yes, and I didn't tell you to open conversation." The Doctor picked up Pinkie, letting her lie on his back.
"But how was I supposed to know who you were?"
"That's simple, you're not. Not exactly. Anyway, good luck, start your running." The Doctor went through the door.
Light looked down at the Changeling. It snarled at him. He blinked a few moments.
"Hai, doggy." He said in his Johnny voice, before running off, hoping that confused the Changeling, not looking back. He managed to get through the door, and on the other side, he leaned against it to stop it from getting out. He looked in front of him, and found there were a bunch of ponies looking his way. He could see Fluttershy, Twi, The Doctor, Ditzy, and Snowflake, but those were all the familiar faces he saw.
"Uh. Hi, everypony. There's two possibilities at large. The first being that there is a Changeling here, and the other that it's nothing but a hallucination. So, yeah. For now, let's think that it's a hallucination that isn't scary, but just weird and disgusting and angry and mean that we should avoid. Agreed?"
"So, what you mean to say is, there's another changeling on the loose?" Ditzy said.
"...Yes. Thank you, Ditzy."
Ditzy realized she's worried everypony, and rubbed her head in embarrassment. Thankfully, Snowflake was there to diffuse the situation with his severe optimism.
"YYYEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!"
An unpleasant chittering sound was coming from behind the door.
Light had only one thing on his mind. "Meep."
Then, an awful roar/shriek hybrid sound, and a strike at the door that poked a large hole next to Light's head. And that's when he decided,
"Yeah, I think we should run now. That'd be a really good idea. In three, two, RUN!" Light ran from the door to cover, and the other ponies followed suit. Conveniently, it was after they'd found cover that the Changeling burst through the door, and was shrieking aggressively, as it scanned the building, looking for everypony.
Light looked to the Doctor, who was beside him. "What do you think it's doing here?" He whispered.
"It's probably a sort of scout. They feed on love, correct? It probably thought you loved Pinkie, and so, as per its' assignment, fed on the love by kissing you."
"You kissed it?" Came Fluttershy's voice, who Light didn't notice.
"No, it kissed me. And I didn't like it." Light replied.
"Well, you did look like you were in distress, to be honest." The Doctor said.
"...Ah huh." ...And... now already, relationship complications with Fluttershy... BUCK IT...
The changeling kept hovering around the building...
"So... err... what do you think he'll do if he finds us?" Light whispered to the Doctor.
"Either eviscerate us, or get his buddies to help eviscerate us. It's pointless trying to steal our love at this point. They'd have to wait for a really long time. And even then, their plan needs to be elaborate."
"I feel so re-assured."
More hovering.
There was whimpering. It was coming from Ditzy. If she keeps that up, she'll blow our cover. I better try and stop it.
"Di-" Light began, but Fluttershy interrupted him, using her own method of calming Ditzy down. Which was hugging her and reassuring her.
"Ssshhh... it's okay, Ditzy, everything's going to be okay. Stay calm..."
This seemed to work, because Ditzy sniffed, then nodded, and wasn't whimpering any more. Fluttershy turned to Light and gave him a smile and a wink. Then a quiet 'Eep!' when the Changeling shrieked again. Nopony moved a muscle.
The Changeling was still hovering around the place...
Light suddenly felt a little drowsy... his chest flared up in pain, he clutched it, and used one hoof to cover his mouth, as he was about to have a coughing spasm. As he coughed, it started to sound more and more violent, much to the worry of everypony. When he stopped coughing, he looked at his hoof... there was blood... and bits of it had... a green tint in it... The wings could no longer be heard humming. Everypony looked around, shocked, as to the location of the Changeling.
A shriek was heard outside. It left the building for some reason... everyone went out of their hiding places, and looked outside. It was slowly walking around Ponyville at a calm pace... if but one pony was spotted, there was no hope. They went inside again.
"We have to find a way to stop it, without being seen." Twilight said.
"It probably has a signal it gives. We have to incapacitate it, and find some way to dispose of it."
"Besides killing." Fluttershy said.
"I'm not sure if that's possible."
"It has to be... I know it's here to hurt us, but... I don't like violence..."
Light erupted into another coughing spasm, and fell to the floor. Fluttershy ran over to him.
"Light! What's wrong!?" She screamed.
"Err... Smith. Does your stick detect illnesses?" Light asked the Doctor.
"It's a sonic screwdriver." He replied. Nevertheless, he walked over to him, and used it to scan him. He put the screwdriver in his jacket, with a worried expression on his face.
"I'm sorry, Light, I'm so sorry. But you've been poisoned."
-----
The changeling continued to stroll around Ponyville. It felt mildly foolish for letting its wing be seen when it was trying to extract love from that stallion... it didn't get much though. From the amount gathered, it was obvious that the pony it took the form of was a former crush. It face-hoofed, because the gig was up. There's no point in trying. It was simply going to have to kill everypony. Although, it didn't need to eviscerate that blue stallion, that's for sure.
While it is a long shot, the death sentence endowed upon him is much more painful.
-----
"...Poisoned... what poison?" Light asked fearfully.
"It's called Inpotentiorem Dimissione. Can only be placed by a Changeling's kiss." The Doctor replied.
"...Fantastic. How long do I have?"
"At best... a few days..."
A few days... that was enough to sadden him. He wouldn't get to spend his life with Fluttershy, or have children... Well, there is one thing he could ask.
"What's the cure?" He asked.
"I don't know." He said.
"...I'm sorry," Twilight said. "I don't have any books about Changelings... I don't know either..."
Light heard Fluttershy begin to cry. She picked him up a little, and hugged him tight. He hugged her back.
A very close, shrieking sound could be heard. It was near the house...
The door was being clawed repeatedly.
-----
The door was almost down. The changeling was ready to slice all the ponies into pieces.
It destroyed the door. What it saw before it was the beginning of his troubles.
Pinkie Pie, now conscious, was aiming her trademark party cannon at it.
"Party time." She said, before firing.
-----
The party cannon fired a ball of wrapping, party hats, and confetti at the Changeling. It was thrown back, and crashed into a wall. It snarled at Pinkie, and flew towards the town hall. Which the Mayor was at right now. Nopony needed to say anything. Everypony tried to do something about it, and ran over to it. Some pegasi flew over to grab hold of it and slow it down. It was stronger, but now, it was severely slowed. Applejack got a lasso and pulled at it to bring it to ground level. Light managed to walk (Albeit weakly) over to the scene.
The pegasi were losing their strength, but Applejack was able to bring it to ground level, where the unicorns tried to use magic to halt it further. However, these attempts made it angrier, and it seemed to get stronger, and morphing itself to be larger. Light flew over, in front of it, and gave it a looking over. Then, after summoning his strength, proceeded to apple-buck it in the face.
"You're a terrible kisser." He said.
It snarled, and, apparently having a boost of adrenaline, went to stab Light with its claws in a fit of rage. Light closed his eyes and prepared for the worst.
But he didn't feel anything... he opened his eyes.
Greg...?
He watched, as his friend, Green Flare, had taken the attack for him. After what seemed like forever, he had collapsed. His eyes wide with shock, Light looked from his friend, to the changeling, and back again. He narrowed his eyes at the Changeling in hate, and he charged at it, but his illness came back to haunt him mid-run, and he erupted into another fit of coughing. He fell unconscious.
-----
Light woke up to the sight of a white ceiling. He was lying down in a hospital bed, dressed in the familiar green shirt that hospital patients wear. His eyes were still a little tired, but he still wanted to see the room he was in. He rubbed his eyes with his hooves, and sat up so his back was resting on the pillow, and took a look at the room.
...I didn't expect there to be so many ponies watching me sleeping.
His friends were standing in front of the hospital bed. They had happy smiles on their faces for seeing him awake, although, they still looked worried. There was Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Ditzy, Lyra, Bon-Bon, Kane and Able (Who... now that I think of it, I don't remember seeing at the party... maybe they were wearing really good costumes), Snowflake, and Colgate... no sign of the Doctor, though. Probably went to Space, or something.
"...Er. Hi, guys... ...er... cool party?" Light said, trying to take light of the situation. It was about as funny as he expected. Just a few of them had a few giggles, which included Fluttershy, Pinkie, Ditzy, Lyra, Snowflake (Oh, dear Celestia, that's the scariest sound I'll ever hear) and Colgate.
Light took a look to his left, and was sort of startled by the fact there was a doctor beside him, looking over some notes, probably to do with his condition. Then he remembered...
"...Doctor, where's Greg?"
"He's alive, don't worry. He's on the bed over there. He's sleeping right now." The doctor points over to another bed, which is hidden by a curtain, but a familiar shape's silhouette is seen behind it.
Phew... as long as he's okay, I won't feel too bad... although, I wish he didn't take the attack for me... I'm gonna die soon anyway...
"What about Light, Doc?" Pinkie asked. "Is he gonna be okay?"
"Well, he's been poisoned, and he is very slowly dying. The cure might be found in a book, but, unfortunately, we don't have any books to do with Changelings."
"Me neither..." Twilight stated, sadly.
"There isn't much we can do for him here. He can go home, if he wishes. He'll be in pretty much the same state he's in right now. He'll not be able to go now, though, we should wait until we can determine how safe it is for him to walk."
Light's chest started hurting, but he tried not to pay it much attention.
"What happened to the Changeling?" Light asked.
"Well," The doctor began, "Your friend John Smith (odd name), said he'd take care of the situation, and he and Ditzy Doo dragged it elsewhere."
"Oh. Cool." Light said, before looking to Ditzy, "Where'd you drag him?"
"Oh, some place far away." Ditzy replied.
"Uh... care to elaborate?"
"Maybe, but not right now."
"...Cool." He said.
"Alright, we should let Light here get some rest." The doctor said. "Visiting times will be in a few hours."
They nodded, and walked out of the door. Light looked to Fluttershy before she went, she gave him a sad smile, then walked out. For some reason, her smile seemed to make his chest hurt less, at least until she left. Light decided to lie down, and get some sleep.
*4 hours later*
Light was now reading a book. It seemed like a Daring Do book, but it was by one of his favourite comedic writers, Funny Bones. The background of Funny Bones is mostly unknown, others just know he's usually funny, and his surname was vaguely threatening. The book was Daring Do, And The Extremely Frictional Pointless Cross-Over with Nothing in Particular. It was, as the name says, a Daring Do book, and it was crossed over with other media, for apparently no reason other than he ran out of legitimate ideas and was therefore bored. Light likes to owe some of his mannerisms to Funny Bones' writing. He finds his comedy funnier than other things, and just wishes that Funny Bones didn't have the displeasure of finding out that someone made a terrible film called The Riddled Fiddle, and the director said he had gotten it from a book by Funny Bones. The director was sued by Funny Bones, who won the case, and therefore, had more money to do what he does best.
*Knock* *Knock*
He stops reading, and places his book on the table next to him. He looks to the door. It slowly opens, and Pinkie Pie walks through it. Her mane and tail seem to be much straighter... and she looks kinda pale. She doesn't seem that energetic, as she isn't bouncing. She probably considers this not the best time for partying. She walks over to Light's bed.
"Hey, Lighty-Wighty." Pinkie greeted,
"Hi, Pinks." Light said with a smile.
"How you doing?" She asked.
"Hrm. Been better, I guess. You alright?"
Pinkie sighed. "I don't wanna lose you... you're the only pony I know who isn't afraid to be spontaneous. Besides myself."
"Well, maybe this'll all work out..." Light said, "Maybe I'll recover soon."
"I hope so..."
Is it me, or is she a lot closer?
Pinkie was indeed leaning on the bed in his direction... a bit close for comfort.
"Err... ...anypony looking up some ways to get rid of the poison, by any chance?"
"Well, Twilight's been shopping to try and find a book about Changelings and any poison they might have... none around Ponyville, so tomorrow, she's going to look in Canterlot."
"Ah. Cool."
And now, Pinkie is very close to him.
I have no idea what's going on...
"Er... Pinkie... something wrong?"
Light felt Pinkie's hoof touch his face.
"I don't want you to go..."
"...Pinki-"
He widened his eyes in surprise as he felt her lips meet his. He was only a little more troubled by the fact that this was obviously Pinkie. Apparently, she had a crush of her own... too late, it would seem. He noticed her mane go all frizzy again, which probably meant she was happy... she slid her tongue into Light's mouth... he wasn't too sure how to feel about this, so didn't actually participate. She was moaning with pleasure... he was just confused.
There was a gasp from somewhere at the door. Pinkie stopped kissing him, and looked at the door. Light rubbed his head, then looked to the door. Standing there, with a mortified look on her face, was Fluttershy. Light's eyes slowly widened, then looked to Pinkie, back to Fluttershy. In a matter of seconds, Fluttershy ran off crying.
"Flutters! Come back!" Pinkie cried, running after Fluttershy.
Light just stared at the door. He suddenly got a lot paler, and his eyes had gotten darker, as if he was still a hermit...
__________________________________________________________________
AUTHOR'S NOTES
I finally finished this chapter. And I managed to create conflict. Finally.
Anyway. All I have to say is...
It's going to be a horrible....ly amount of okay very soon...
What's that... you want more interesting news?
Well. Okay.
Tomorrow, Photo Finish.
PS: I wonder if I should make a story/possible trollfic attempt based on Funny Bones. This was about the first time I could think up a name on the spot. I feel so proud, I want to make this happen. Maybe some other time, when I actually have time. I'm writing 2 fics at once, and I haven't even began work on the next chapter of Deadpool Vs Equestria yet. Argh. Oh well. At least you get to enjoy this. Thank you for the support so far.
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this was the best thing since salted butter!! (you cant begin to imagine what that means coming from me) but in all not so seriousness this chapter was definitely my most favoritist so far, even though it made me super sad face... but whacha gonna do. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
1463888 Surely the announcement of Photo Finish was at least uplifting? At least, I think I wrote that down.
1463911
most definably, but it was still a super sad face chapter.... unless you have a webcam, then you get distracted by potatoes to much for it to matter. but its still my favorite chapter, unless i have a cat.
1463962 Ah huh.
By the way, my other fic got updated, if you wish for apparent laughs to get over apparent sadness.
lol i finished reading it before you replied to my first comment... so unless you have added another chapter in zee last 10 minutes then im going to have to buy a some more sliced bread.
1464012 I could always just get a few pictures to do with Deadpool and call it a story.
distilleryimage9.s3.amazonaws.com/2f71f2a2cedb11e1968822000a1e8bae_6.jpg
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/small/000/133/126/pinkiepienope.png
th01.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/f/2012/181/2/f/here_are_your_options_by_wolvielovsdezi-d55g51c.jpg .jpg
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awsome here is your reward
1464120 I'll take this...
This... 
and this. 
Yay.
1464142 u can have them all everyone of them
1464114
i will let it slide this time, but only because im to lazy to get more sliced bread, unless..... do you like trains?
1464330 As a matter of fact, Yes. I like tr- *Is run over by a train along with most of the commenters, and places this comment here because he was making a late check on how things are going, and therefore is too lazy to look for a Youtube/image link.*
Thanks for commening. Time to retreat to my non-existant coffin for my fake-vampirysm. I'm typing this because I have nothing funnier to say. Boy, I work too hard.
1465712
and i dont work hared enough, literally, ask anyone. I am the single laziest person since the inventor of management. but hey wacha gonna do dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png