During one of Sweetie's routine shifts, she stops to ponder what it truly means to be "on the clock".
i wrote this for the quills and sofas "among us" speedwriting challenge
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- Member Since 29th Jan, 2020
- offline last seen January 26th
DeathToPonies
sup! im really kind and love the show and its charaters but you know how it be when those tingly feelings get involved. like my style? talk to me about custom stories and comissions!
DeathToPonies
Joined 29th Jan, 2020 ·
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Why isn't there a crossover tag?
huh...
I don't get it.
Interesting and deep story, where is Sweetie to think these thoughts, who made the Rarity art and why is the end too glitched to read?
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crossover with...?
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Sweetie has deep thoughts at work. Rarity has other thoughts.
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All art is generated by NovelAI
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Ah, OK! Where does Sweetie work? It wasn't that clear... And maybe Starlight Nova thought that this story had to do with the "Among Us" game.
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She works wherever you want - not too important for this story, I think!
Also haha yeah a reasonable assumption, but the among us contest had more to do with the way the prompts functioned, not the story content itself.
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Oh, OK! Haha, so Sweetie is an adult here?
The build-up is a little lacking in atmosphere, but that does reverse by the end. There is a bit of an aimless sense that some revising would correct. That aside, this is one of the stories to actually make good use of the random tag.
I am very frustrated because I know that the thing at the beginning about dimensions is wrong but i'm not smart enough to tell what
dang, I was incredibly invested until the last part, that made me think of how fast and unexpected can death be, how in a blink it can all end without letting you end your thoughts like scratching a vinyl while it's playing never letting the song have a propper end.
maybe you weren't going for existential dread but that's what I got from this ,be it for my current mood, or the fact that this could realistically happen to any of us, or how it almost happened to my mom when she was a baby (she was saved from a lost bullet by a peace of wood that was above her cradle). Anyways, good story
I honestly don't wanna sound...eh...dumb, but I don't really know what to make of this story.What's with the abrupt ending?I know that there is probably a hidden meaning here, but I can't grasp it...
I'll attempt a theory, but please don't judge me if I'm wrong:Sweetie has these deep, philosophical thoughts and she thinks no one understands her, not even Rarity.In fact, even though Rarity stayed with her when SB needed her, she believed that Rarity was dumb.
Or, second theory:SB judged Rarity as a dumb fashionista, but Rarity proved her wrong, however she simply can't remember any life advice that Rarity gave her, thus the glitchy text at the end when Rarity attempted to explain something to SB.
I know I'm probably wrong, that's why I really want to know the true meaning of this story.
Who is interested, here is the cleared text at the end:
when I was younger, wayy younger— twas basically a babe, my grandpa passed away and my teacher was informed about it. I handled it neutrally, not fully understanding the concept of death. He passed away on my birthday and since I received his present, I assumed he was ok. But a child hearing such news, especially on their birthday, will most definitely leave a lasting impact years later.
Anyway, my teacher asked me to stay after class for a minute. She told me, “I'm so sorry about your grandpa.”
When a family member dies, nobody really says, “I'm sorry they've passed away,” because everyone knows. Someone else acknowledging it felt different and little me hid behind their hair and stared blankly for the rest of the day. I was little and didn't understand this type of loss and how to grieve. My family barely talked about my grandpa after his death. They loved him, I saw that, but nobody wanted to cry. I played with dolls and Just Dance, but my enjoyment had left me.
ok, how does that relate to this? Art is subjective and I take out more than what DTP put into this. Sweetie Belle, like me, never learned how to properly grieve. With Rarity out of the picture, nobody was there to care for her when it came to this. Friends can help of course, but a familial bond is super important. Like I've mentioned, my grandpa who was pretty close to me and nobody in my family really mentioned his passing afterwards. I needed a family member to tell me, “He's gone. I know. It'll be ok.”
Sweetie Belle lost in her thoughts thinking about the time she has left feels realistic, and thoughts like these often happen at work or before going to bed. I would know. The ending feels cryptic but maybe we all need to be spooked once in a while. I enjoyed this story, I find it relatable. You didn't intend to make it this deep but I like to look into pieces and feel connected to them.
whatever image is supposed to be there isn't anymore, and I feel like I'm missing something major because of it :/
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I need to stop being lazy, go back and fix my story images. Most were hosted on Smutty Horse which is now down.
In this case, don't worry, you didn't miss much.
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okay, I will take your word for it :O
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I think it was just a close up of Rarity's eyes, LOL