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Interesting chapter!
Careful with the use of 'he' - whenever you're referring to a female character in any way, 'she' is used. Just a tip :)
Additional note: Careful with gigantic paragraphs. And since this is an MLP site, you can probably get away with just saying 'she recounted the tale of Twilight's life' or something similar.
So, a good start. Nice touch with saving Philomena :)
The next chapter should be... Interesting. Bill Cipher will have 100% seen this, and he's a dream demon. Luna, meanwhile, is a dreamWALKER. He ain't gonna enjoy meeting her... Though she's gonna be getting bad memories of Discord, I suspect.
Does this include some of the villains who won?
Interesting...this has potential...
Any chance you can have Wendy find out about their 'time travel' and while being flattered that Dipper was willing to do so much for her...tells him to just ignore her teen melodrama in the future and obviously she would rather NOT get a stuffed animal then be hit in the face...and also asks WHY he didn't just TELL her what was happening in the first place(causing Dipper to facepalm and lament, realizing he'd overcomplicated everything again...thus earning sympathy from Twilight(IF you bring her here of course) as she has the same issue.
She also get's annoyed with Mable for putting some PIG she knew for a DAY over the health and wellbeing of a FRIEND...
What do you think?
Well I wish you'd been more specific HOW they were being scammed, I liked this...but that last bit was confusing...it seemed like it was incomplete and cut off...was that other person Bill? Also why did he do what he did? What was the point of that dream?
Looks like Bill's walking on eggshells to avoid Luna discovering him. That's not gonna work forever...
Okay, that is one great and nice twist chapter, and the images of the comic flashback for Celestia and Luna, oh boy that was great, nice job in this chapter
Okay, I like how you avoided my LEAST favorite part of this episode...but...I can't help but feel like that- at least in the beginning -you were deliberately making Luna and Celestia be lazy, just to allow the most of the episode to stay the same.
I mean Luna and Celestia have literally seen how bad a sibling relationship can degenerate, it wouldn't matter if they knew about the journal or not or whether or not Dipper had magic, they would IMMEDIATELY go and talk to the twins because they CARE about them and want to help help them.
Also if Luna and celestia believed that 'Mabel didn't care about her because of what they saw in the games that Dipper and Mabel had, Mabel didn't even try to win.' ...then they should've confronted her about it!
Again, they care about them and want to keep them from making the same mistakes they did!