• Published 20th Dec 2022
  • 1,665 Views, 50 Comments

Haunting The Zebra Plains - Jest



In the red/blue version of pokemon it says this about haunter: "Haunter can pass through solid walls. It is because of this that it is believed it is from another dimension." A fact I can confirm for you, personally.

  • ...
12
 50
 1,665

Awaken Unto Darkness

Opening my eyes felt surprisingly easy for some reason, though I couldn't tell you why I would think that such a thing would be difficult in the first place. The first thing I noticed after doing so was that it was both dark, and not dark at the same time, let me explain. There were no light sources to speak of, and instead of a slate white ceiling, there was a dull brownish grey stone. Though, come to think of it I couldn't recall why I assumed the ceiling would be white in the first place.

Shrugging off the weirdness of my situation, I stood on surprisingly sturdy feet, only to quickly realized that I didn't have any legs to speak of. Looking down revealed that there was nothing there, and as I continued to look down I ended up spinning all the way around. Apparently I was unbound by gravity, which was cool I guess, though that certainly didn't help the growing confusion and panic building at the back of my mind.

At least I had eyes, and hands for that matter.

Looking down I noticed that I had only three fingers on each hand, and said fingers were oddly pointed. They also werent connected to anything to speak of, no arms, shoulders or any of that, just a trio of floating fingers connected to a wrist. I waved my hands around and found that they did indeed have a maximum distance they could extend, plus it still felt like I had arms, though they were noodley for lack of a better word. It's hard to explain but I could feel like there werent bones in my arms and if I wanted to, I could move my limbs in a way normal creatures could not.

It was weird, but I was counting my lucky stars that I was at least alive, had arms, and eyeballs at least. I mean, if you woke up in some weird cave thing with little to no memory, and a shaky understanding of your own biology, you’d be pretty pumped that you werent strapped to a table with a needle in your arm. It also helped that I couldn't bring myself to panic, the emotion being muted for some reason I couldn't quite understand.

Pushing those thoughts out of my mind, I looked around, and found that I wasn't in a cave at all, but rather what looked like a room in a pyramid, if I had to guess. The walls were made of cut stone piled on top of each other, each one perfectly connected without any kind of mortar between them. It was definitely something one would assume to see in a pyramid anyway, an assumption made even more likely by the large sealed vases that I saw littering the ground.

Sniffing the air revealed that the scent of dust, and decay hung heavy in this room, filling my nostrils with the unpleasant smell. Sticking out my tongue in disgust, I was about to move on when I realized just how big my tongue was, and that it was a purplish blue. The thing was bigger than my hand, and nearly twice as long, though thankfully it didn't hurt or feel wrong in some way, which was my first assumption after seeing its color. Grabbing the thing revealed that it had no taste buds on it, and was in fact completely smooth, which unnerved me for some reason.

I quickly ran my hands all over my body, trying to figure out through touch alone what exactly I was. The first thing I discovered was that my eyes were narrow, like two triangles slapped on the middle of my face. I also had surprisingly sharp teeth that jutted right out of my face, which was odd, to say the least. At that moment I realized I could taste my finger at least, which meant the pleasures of food wasn't completely out the window at least.

Moving a little further up I felt a pair of spikes extend from my brows, sticking out a good few inches from the back of my oddly shaped head. At this point an odd sense of familiarity was beginning to flicker at the back of my mind, some part of me recognizing whatever I was. Unable to really put my finger on it quite yet I continued feeling around, finding that there were two other spikes on either side of my head below the first.

I also had pretty much no body at all, and only what felt like a short tail of somekind that extended from my head. No neck, no torso, no legs, and not a single clue where I was, or even who I was, now that I thought about it. Even my name was gone, as were anything else definitive, though I at least knew enough to know what a pyramid was.

Just keep counting your blessings, I told myself.

It was at that moment that I realized two things.

One, that I was in fact a haunter, and the second being that apparently Pokemon were real. Those kinda realizations went hand in hand, I suppose, though it sure didn't help that sense of panic that still sat patiently in the back of my mind. Then, it broke, the wall holding my emotions in check collapsing and flooding my system with panic and fear, my body letting out an involuntary shreik.

Or at least, I had intended to scream, what came out of my mouth was more like the anguished wail of a dying person heard in the distance after echoing through an empty house. Specific I know, but it was the first thing I thought of when I heard it. It also creeped me the heck out and I immediately closed my mouth and covered it with my hands, which felt cold.

Fitting, I suppose, though certainly not comforting in the slightest.

Tentatively removing my hands, I tried to speak, to say anything really, and though the words sounded like english, they also didn't, at the same time. It was the equivalent to watching a phone translate speech in real time, so even if you didn't understand what they said, you still at least kind of did. More weirdness to add to the pile, though I at least noted that my voice sounded fittingly spooky at least.

Wait, if I was a haunter, did that mean I was alive, or dead? Was I both? I tried to think back on the pokedex entry only to remember a single, solitary line.

Because of its ability to slip through walls, it is said to be from another dimension.

Well, that was helpful, and not very helpful at the same time. Waving my hand at a nearby wall I found that it could indeed phase right through the rock as if it were water, the barrier putting up only the slightest amount of resistance. At least I could add the density of matter to my list of fundamental forces I could now completely ignore.

Thinking back, I tried to recall any other information about haunter, only to find that I knew very little specific information on the Pokemon in question. I did remember the moves it could know at level one at least, which were confuse ray, hypnosis, lick, mean look, and shadow punch. That was five though, could I know all of them? Or perhaps I didn't know any?

I pushed aside those thoughts for now, as it wasn't like I had a target I could test on now anyway. Plus I wasn't sure I wanted to test that on just anyone, as haunter was a fairly grim pokemon, if my spotty memory was anything to go by. A touch made someone shudder until death, and a lick robbed someone of their very life force, which were both things that I didn't want to see the validity of quite yet.

A memory suddenly popped into my head, appearing unbidden before my mind’s eye and reminding me of a time I was playing Pokemon, and had an entire team of ghost types. It wasn't the original gameboy, so at least I wasn't super old, which was nice, or was it? Did that mean I died young, or didn't play Pokemon until I was older? My memories werent helping much, but what I did remember was that I had tried to beat the elite four over and over again with nothing but my ghost squad.

No items were used, and my squad didn't know any status affecting moves other then hypnosis and confuse ray. Using items was cheap, as was trying to build a team of anything other then your favorites, I remember thinking to myself. Only to wonder where that thought came from. Shaking my head, the memory petered out and I found myself floating in that musty room once again.

The smell was starting to get to me, so I decided to explore a little bit and maybe find a way out. It's not like I had anything better to do after all. Other then contemplate my own mortality, or lack thereof? I wasn't sure where I fell on that spectrum right now.

Only to find that I had no idea how to move for that matter. It wasn't like I had legs, or any other discernible method of locomotion for that matter. With a shrug of my nonexistent shoulders, I imagined I was walking and found myself floating along as if I were doing just that. With one mystery down I decided to reach for one of the vases, with the intent of grabbing it and finding out if I could even do such a thing in the first place.

Sure enough I could feel the vase in my odd three fingered fist and I lifted it up only to accidentally drop it, causing its contents to turn to dust the second they met the open air. After getting blasted by a burst of dust which may have been someone’s organs at sometime, I decided to float through the wooden door. A door that was undecorated, though surprisingly well preserved, given the apparent age of this place.

Floating out through the other side I found myself in a long hallway that stretched to my right and left, doors popping up every few feet along either wall. On one side there was a dead end, while on the other the hall continued before branching off again. Unsure of where to go, I quickly searched the dead end, my video game instincts telling me to search all the dead ends first so I didn't miss anything.

The rooms were all identical, each one being the same size, height, containing the same number of vases, and even the exact same door. Which I noticed had a small indent in the middle with a single word I couldn't read across the top of it, reminding me of a hotel room for some reason. Though strange, I figured it was probably where the remains of some lesser noble or perhaps where one of the lead builders were buried. My memory was spotty, but I could recall that the ancient Egyptians had supposedly buried their favorite concubines and wives with them as well.

Shrugging that off, I went back in the other direction, floating along curiously, my mind ruminating on what I had already learned. Only to stop when I realized that I had been referring to myself as male in my head, but did that really fit? I mean, I didn't have any parts anymore, nor could I even really remember my name or what gender I had been, so did it even make sense to call myself a guy? And for that matter, did it even make sense to refer to myself as a living thing?

My thoughts were getting a little too philosophical for my taste, so I tried to focus on finding my way out of this place before I contemplated such a subject. A little sun would do me good, but a tall frosty beer would be even better. Wait, I could taste things, but I was a ghost, so could I still get drunk?

I groaned.

Worry about weird implications of my new body later, find out where I am first. I thought to myself as I floated down the hallway.

Upon reaching the next intersection I noticed that I could feel a bit of a breeze, meaning that the left was likely the exit. My first urge was to go that way, but glancing to my right revealed that the hallway quickly opened up to a much, much larger area. That had to be where the tomb’s owner rested, I figured, as its not like they would be buried in the entrance.

My curiosity got the better of me, and I floated along the hallway, one hand trailing across the seemingly normal stone. About halfway down a sudden twang made me jump, or float vertically anyway, as it's not like I had legs to jump with. Looking around, I found a hole had opened in the wall, and a tube could be seen just behind it. Glancing down, I found that a bolt rested on the ground, its head broken and its fletching ruined from the impact.

I should have assumed there would be traps, and suddenly I was very thankful for my incorporeal nature, as the bolt would have hit me right in the side of the head otherwise. Retracting my hand from the wall I decided to not trigger anymore traps, just in case one shot fire or something, as that might hurt. Wandering deeper, I noticed that the hall was deceptively long, but when I looked back it looked like I had only gone a few feet.

“Weird.” I muttered. There was definitely something strange about this place, but it wasn't like there was much that could hurt me, so I proceeded deeper regardless.

The hall twisted, turned, became wider, before narrowing once more and finally ending at the opening I had seen several minutes earlier. Glancing back, I saw the same short, normal hallway I had before, further confusing me. Shrugging off that strangeness, I peered into the pitch black room, my eyes having no trouble piercing the shadows that clung to everything.

The room was large, very large, and seemed split into three distinct sections, each one slightly different from the others. The central one was obviously the most important, as it was the largest, with large pillars flanking either wall and leading to a row of stairs at the top of which sat a throne. Upon which a skeleton sat patiently, as if he could get up and start walking around at a moment’s notice. The skeleton looked off, but I didn't stare at it for too long, as its appearance made me uncomfortable for some reason.

To the left and right sat stone coffins within their own halls that lay perpendicular to the central one. These ones had stairs right next to the coffins, leading up to a pair of sections that had dozens of smaller alcoves, each one containing more, slightly less impressive stone coffins. The ground around the first two coffins were also decorated with a wide circle filled with runes, and writing I couldn't read.

Floating over to one I quickly realized what had been so off about the skeleton, namely that it had not been of a human. I came upon this realization when I saw the lid of the coffin, where there were numerous depictions of bizarre striped horses in various scenes. At the top left was one of a small striped horse who was playing a flute and leading away a swarm of bees.

After that they varied from the tiny zebra acomplishing feats of strength, to a depiction of the same striped horse gaining a swirly tattoo on his butt. He also met a sandshrew, and eventually a much taller zebra who stood next to an impressive looking gengar. Together the sandshrew and the other zebra bowed to their apparent rulers, grinning to each other all the while. Closer to the bottom of the coffin the scenes became more violent, though they were still interspersed with some pictures of revelry, and conversation.

It looked almost like a comic of someone’s life, only just the important parts, and all in a style vaguely reminiscent of egyptian hieroglyphics but with a distinctly african twist to it. It was hard to explain, but it was the closest comparison my poor memory could concoct when I looked at it. Either way, the zebra within had likely been a famous bard, poet, wanderer and fighter if their coffin was anything to go by, though it was hard to identify the gender of the occupant given the simplistic nature of the drawings.

That, and it wasn't like I knew the culture of weird african/egyptian zebra creatures to begin with. Curious, I decided to reach out and touch the coffin, only to be surprised when my finger was repulsed by a flash of purple lightning that shot up from the circle. It didn't hurt, but it definitely made me recoil in fear, the lightning disappearing the second I pulled away.

“So you don't want me to touch, I get it.” I muttered to myself. “Probably shouldn't have done that in the first place. Doesn't seem the most respectful I suppose.”

Looking around I noticed that the wall directly behind the coffin was different, and had a small vase on the ground which I hadn't noticed at first. Floating over to it, I quickly realized that it was the same type of thing that was on top of the coffin, only this time it depicted the life of a clearly intelegent pokemon. So maybe I wasn't quite as unique as I thought I was.

The top left most panel had a sad looking sandshrew in it, the poor ground type wandering the sand dunes, alone, and fearful. Eventually, he met a young version of the zebra I had seen just behind me, and they immediately fought, something I was immensely confused by. That confusion vanished in the next panel when both of them were hugging one another while crying for some reason, which definitely wasn't shown on the other coffin.

Did they have something in common or what? I wasn't sure what it all meant, but kept reading anyway.

The sandshrew followed the zebra around for a while, before noticing his new friend was in trouble, then he jumped in to save him, and from then on they walked beside one another. Shortly after, the sandshrew was replaced by sandslash, an entire panel being dedicated to his sudden evolution that came about after defeating what looked like a corrupted venosaur. After that the sandslash was depicted as alone, but I got the feeling that he had not separated from his zebra buddy, only that this story was focusing more on the pokemon.

It fought in battles large and small, and even learned how to play a strangely shaped three string guitar of all things. The final scene was of the sandslash and the zebra toasting while sprawled out on what looked like an elegant pair of lawn chairs. Had they both made it to old age and were celebrating a life well lived or was there something going on that I couldn't understand? The zebra’s final panel had only contained an image of cup in it and that had been it.

Glancing down to the vase on the ground, I quickly realized that must be the final resting place of the Pokemon in question. Bowing my head respectfully, I floated away, my mind filled with questions, as well as a bit of deja vu for some reason.

Then it hit me, the reason these striped horses looked so strange was that they didn't resemble my world’s zebras. They were the zebras of the My Little Pony world, a show I had only watched a single episode of in order to understand the memes. Wait, where did that memory come from?

Shaking my head, I looked around the tomb once more, suddenly aware of how disrespectful my trespassing was. Sure, I could probably gain more information if I scoured the area, but after looking up at the vacant gaze of the skeleton I couldn't help but feel ashamed. I may have woken up here, but this place definitely had nothing to do with me, and it never would for that matter.

With a sigh, I decided to give the other coffin a brief look before leaving, and found myself gazing upon a completely different scene. This one was likely female, considering it always wore a dress, and had rings around her neck, though I couldn't be certain. She seemed to be training since a young age, the zebra in question brewing various potions, and venturing deep into the jungle alone. There she found a strange flower and earned whatever equivalent of a cutie mark zebras had.

After returning to town victorious from her quest, the zebra found that everyone she met was scared, and angry, with the other zebras being depicted as shouting and pointing in random directions. After a panel of searching, the zebra found a misdreavus tugging on a foal’s mane and laughing at the child’s pain. This seemed to prompt the zebra to act and she threw several vials at the ghost type, completely obscuring the next panel in colored smoke. The panel after that revealed a completely different scene than the one I had been expecting, as the zebra and the misdreavus were chatting and laughing like old friends.

From then on they were inseparable, with the Pokemon appearing in every image that the zebra did, though sometimes it was only in the background. Together they went on to brew many potions, heal creatures both large, and small, ranging from zebras, to Pokemon and even a dragon. After helping the dragon she met the same tall zebra and imposing gengar that the warrior poet had, and after that the scenes became much more violent.

The first battle was fought by throwing potions, and choking her enemies, with Misdreavus evolving right after it. Though things got darker, and violence became the norm, there were also a few panels of celebration, of chains being broken and zebras being freed. Had they been liberators of some kind? Or were the chains merely symbolic? Either way I didn't know, and the coffin likely didngt have many answers, as I was nearing the end of the zebra’s tale.

The last few scenes were of the zebra and her Pokemon fighting, being cut off, and finally making a desperate last stand that saw both the zebra, her Pokemon, and their foes slain. It was an abrupt and sad end, but for some reason it felt oddly fitting, the zebra and her Pokemon dying for what they believed in. Upon seeing such a scene I felt my heart swell, and I bowed to both the coffin and the skeleton.

I didn't have to even look at the misdreavus’ panel to know that it would be nearly identical to her lifelong companion’s. With my curiosity satiated, I floated out of the room, putting it all behind me and beginning my journey to the exit. While I floated along, I considered what I had learned, and did my best to fit all the pieces of this mystery together.

Zebras had apparently been suffering some manner of bondage, which had only been undone after the tall zebra and his gengar had acquired allies and rose to power. They seemed to have fought mainly other zebras, but there were a few other creatures depicted as well, namely ponies, and a few griffons as well. The zebras only ever had a single Pokemon with them, while I could remember at least one scene showing the warrior poet facing off against a unicorn who had a whole slew of Pokemon with him.

The questions that came from the coffins would have to wait though, as I needed someone capable of answering them in the first place, which meant I needed to get out of this tomb. It also felt like I had overstayed my welcome, and though there was no overwhelming urge to leave, I got the feeling like it was time to move on. I didn't question that urge, and merely traveled back to the first hallway, only to find that it was gone. Smooth stone stood where the many doored hallway had been only a few minutes earlier, and though curious, I figured it didn't matter much, as the exit hadn't disappeared at least.

Reaching said exit also took significantly less time than anticipated, and I quickly found myself nearing an enormous room that preceded the exit proper. I could also hear voices, though they were too far away for my to be able to discern anything definitive, only that it sounded like english. With hope fluttering in my chest, I floated past the enormous zebra statues which flanked either side of me.

I didn't give them so much as a second glance, as my gaze was fixed on the shaft of light I could see in front of me. It was small, little more than a crack, but through it I could see that the exit had collapsed, but an opening had recently been created. The voices grew louder, and I could tell they were arguing about who would go in first, their fear palpable even at a distance.

Throwing caution to the wind I decided to slip through the opening, using my gaseous form to slide through a passage that would have normally been too small for my surprisingly large body.

After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

I just hoped that they were friendly, as I had no idea how to use any attacks and didn't want to have to learn while in the heat of the moment.

Author's Note:

This is a story I hope to pick back up in the future, though when that may be I do not know.