• Member Since 30th Aug, 2022
  • offline last seen Yesterday

DavidFosterWalrus


A large, flippered marine mammal native to northern arctic regions.

T

Scootaloo does her best to impress Rainbow Dash by jumping her scooter over a ravine. However, sometimes your best just isn't good enough.


Adapted from greentext, you can read the original here.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

A good Story but i can only scold rainbow for being so inresponsible. Scoots could have gotten seriously hurt...or even died...

Well...i hope someone finds her in time

There better be a sequel to this.:flutterrage:

11453848
Agreed to you on that.

But still their better be a sequel to this.

~End~

Noooooooooooo!

Somebody or whatever better get her to a hospital or something in The sequel(which there better be) and scold rainbow dash and at least have her benched for more than a month

why was i expecting a comedy mlp parody of the episode where homer Simpson fell down into the gorge except its rainbow who does the falling

11453960
11454351
Well I think it's pretty clear that the sequel will involve vultures I'm joking, of course, I'm sure someone will find her

In all seriousness though I feel like this one works pretty well as a self-contained vignette, so I hadn't really thought of doing a sequel. However, if I can think of anywhere else to take this I certainly will.


11454408
I don't know, but that's actually a pretty good idea.

11454600
Okay then. I admit, gave me a thought myself

I think the most important part of this story was the pacing, and I feel like that's the aspect you managed to do best. I was a bit torn on Rainbow Dash's dialogue at first, since it came off as mean, but by the end, I think it was intended to be more of that kind of tough love/jocular encouragement. What I'm mainly wondering is if the conclusion was realistic. On the one hand, Rainbow's leaving her alone because she's quite upset, but on the other, she's a child who just broke a leg. I could see Rainbow ditching the practice in order to get her some help, and that could be what "happens" after we fade to black, but I'm uncertain after the crickets detail. Leaving the story off where you did felt like the right call, and you probably wouldn't need to tweak very much if you end up feeling like changing the ending at all. :pinkiesmile:

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