Pipp vs. The Mare-stream

by Axolotl222

Chapter 1

“Woah…”

“Look at that!”

“Wow!”

“Amazing…”

“So cool!”

Nopony could believe it. The old trolley that Zipp and Izzy had spent the last few days working on had just magically transformed before their eyes. They gaped in awe for a monument until Izzy broke their stupor:

“Yep…” she said as she approached the front of the aircraft. “I guess it works,” Izzy added with a smile as she nugged the aircraft with her hoof.

Suddenly the door popped open. Curious, the friends quickly rushed inside, finding a spacious interior. The walls of the rectangular cabin were lined with plush red seats and various pieces of furniture scattered about, as well as numerous string lights, giving the cabin a warm, cozy feeling.

“Hey Zipp,” Sunny called from inside the cockpit. “You're gonna wanna see this!” Zipp then trotted into the cockpit, her eyes widening at the sight of all the buttons and dials.

“Welcome, travelers,” came a robotic yet feminine-sounding voice. “We hope that you will enjoy your flight onboard the Marestream.”

“Wait…” Hitch said, poking his head in through the doorway. “Did…did the ship just talk?”

“Woah, interesting,” Zipp thought out loud, scratching her chin with a hoof. “Must be some sort of magic infused A.I… I’ve read about them but never heard of anypony actually building one before.”

“Please select your travel destination,” the voice repeated. Zipp turned towards her friends with a grin on her face.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

---

Izzy was humming a tune to herself as she walked, levitating Señor Butterscotch close behind her. She climbed up the ramp and into the gate with a hop and a skip. Suddenly she turned around.

“Hey Pipp! Are you coming?”

“One second!” Pipp replied. Pipp said. “Anyways Pipsqueaks, looks like we’re going to grandma Figgy’s, so that’s it for now. Until next time, Pipp-pipp hooray!” Pipp then ended her stream, picked up her bag, and walked up the gate, quietly singing one of her old songs to herself.

Suddenly, a siren blared. “Gah!” a startled Pipp cried as she stumbled backwards.

“Warning,” the mechanical voice spoke. “You are not permitted to board. “

Pipp shook her head, still a little dazed from the siren. “W-what?”

“You are currently not permitted to board.” The voice repeated. “You have been selected for additional screening.”

“Huh? B-but you let everypony else on!”

“That is correct. However, our complex security algorithm has decided that you must undergo additional screening for security.”

Pipp opened her mouth to protest, but suddenly a hatch on the ceiling opened up, and a pair of mechanical arms dropped down.

“Please relax. We shall now begin our non-invasive search.”

“Yeah… no!” Pipp then tried to fly away but the arms reached out and grabbed her by the wings. “Hey!” Pipp cried, thrashing about as the arms pulled her into the hatch. “What are you doing?!”

“Now now. It is imperative that you remain still for the duration of your search.”

“Let go of me! Let. Me. GO!”

“You need to calm down. You are becoming hysterical.”

“Zipp! Help! Your stupid robot’s-” Suddenly a red light then enveloped Pipp, so bright that she had to forcefully shut her eyes. She grit her teeth, struggling under the light for an agonizing moment until it disappeared.

“Scanning complete. Suspect now permitted to board.”

Suddenly the claws released Pipp, dropping her unceremoniously onto the floor.

“Please enjoy your flight.”

Pipp sprang back onto her hooves. With a “hmmph!” she turned her nose up towards the hatch before finally boarding.

“Hi Pipp!” Izzy beamed. She was patting the empty seat between her and Hitch, who was also sitting with Sparky. Izzy was, in turn, sitting next to Señor Butterscotch, whose permanent smile was making Pipp scowl. She then sat down with a groan.

“Hey,” Hitch said. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah,” Pipp replied, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. “I just uh, got held up with security, you know?”

Hitch looked like he was about to question her, but before he could speak there was a loud ”ping” followed by the voice saying: “Preparing for take off. Please sit down and fasten your seat belts.” Hitch then began searching for his seat belt, seemingly forgetting whatever he was going to say.

Just as Pipp fastened hers, another metallic ping sounded, this time followed by Zipp’s voice:

“Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome onboard the Marestream with service from Maretime Bay to grandma Figgy’s. We are expected to be in the air in one minute. We ask that you please fasten your seat belts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones. Thank you for choosing the Marestream. Enjoy your flight.”

“Wow, she’s really enjoying this.”

“What?” Hitch said.

“Oh, uh, nothing.”

Meanwhile, Izzy was staring out the window with a massive grin on her face. “Oh my hoofness. We’re actually flying! Gah! This is so exciting! I’ve never flown before!” Izzy’s smile slowly faded, replaced by a confused frown. She turned around. “Hey guys?”

“Yeah,” Hitch answered.

“What are you supposed to do when flying?”

“Here onboard the Marestream, passengers can enjoy a fine variety of entertainment options for the duration of their flight,” the voice suddenly chimed in. “Use the keypad to search for entertainment options.”

Izzy then noticed the keypad on her leg rest and pressed a button. A panel on the wall beside her slid open, revealing a flat screen.

“Ooo…” Izzy cooed. Pipp and Hitch then gave each other a look, shrugged, and turned to their keypads. Pipp watched as her screen activated, various titles scrolling by.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Pipp said. “I only have like three shows!”

“Premium seat passengers have access to our enter catalog of entertainment, whilst regular passengers may choose from any of our preselected options.”

“Seriously…”

“We could change seats if you want,” Izzy suggested.

Pipp sighed. “No, it’s fine.”

“You sure?” piqued Izzy, before gesturing towards Señor Butterscotch. “He could move.”

“No, it’s fine. Really! It’s not like I don’t like these shows or anything.”

“That’s the spirit!” Hitch said beside her. Suddenly his eyes widened. “Ooo, Sparky loves this one, don’t ya bud?”

Sparky giggled and clapped his claws, which Hitch interpreted as a yes. Pipp sighed again.

---

Izzy took off her headphones as her show finished. She then took a moment to stretch before reaching for her bag under her seat. She opened it up and frowned.

“Hey guys,” Izzy said, turning around.

“What?” Hitch said as he and Pipp took off their headphones.

“You got something to eat?”

“Izzy,” Hitch chided. “Don’t fill up now! We’re gonna be at grandma Figgy’s soon!”

“Aw, I just wanna snack.”

“We here onboard the Marestream are happy to provide catering to our passengers.”

“Wait, really?” Izzy asked.

“Indeed. Please select an item.”

The picture on Izzy’s screen then disappeared, replaced by a menu. Cautiously, she clicked on a sandwich.

“You have selected a Heirloom tomato sandwich.” A mechanical claw then dropped down. “Please enjoy your meal.”

Izzy grabbed the sandwich in her magic and took a bite out of it. “Mmm…” she said, a grin spreading on her face as she chewed.

It was then that Pipp felt her own stomach grumble. Sure, she had been trying to watch her figure, and she would probably eat a lot at grandma Figgy’s. But then again, it was the Holidays.

A claw soon dropped a sandwich into her lap, wrapped up in a fancy paper. She grabbed it with her hooves, licking her lips as she unwrapped it. She then took a big bite…

…and immediately spat it out.

“What. Was. THAT!?” she cried after a moment of coughing and sputtering.

“Here onboard the Marestream, we provide our passengers with meals with only the freshest local ingredients…”

“This is full of cigarette butts!”

“Those are there for protein.”

Pipp couldn’t exactly muster a response at the moment, as she was too busy trying to keep her eyelid from twitching.

“Aw, don’t worry Pipp,” Izzy said as she levitated her half-eaten sandwich in front of Pipp. “You can have the rest of mine.”

Pipp angrily glared at the sandwich for a moment before slowly exhaling through her nose. She then grumbled a quiet “thanks” before grabbing the sandwich and eating it.

“Wow Izzy,” Hitch said. “Looks like you're flying in style.”

“I know, right!” Izzy then looked at her keypad. “I don’t know what half of these buttons do,” she thought out loud.

Curious, Izzy then pressed one at random. A small light then turned on, then off. Izzy then pressed another button and a fan started blowing, then she pressed another.

“No way!”

“What?” Pipp asked.

“I’ve got heated seats? Oh my hoofness! This is better than Haven's dungeon!”

“We do our best to accompany our passengers' physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Please, if you are experiencing any discomfort, please let us know.”

“Hmm,” Izzy said. “Well, a couple days ago I was working on a sculpture, but I slipped and hurt my shoulder and it still feels kinda…”

Izzy was then cut off by a pair of mechanical claws reaching down and beginning to message her shoulders.

“Ooo yeaaah…” Izzy said dreamily. “Mama likey…”

Pipp watched Izzy with a frown. “My shoulders hurt,” she whispered.

A claw then dropped down from the ceiling, giving her a not-so-gentle pat on the head while saying “There, there. It will be alright,” in a monotonous voice. The claw then retreated out of sight as quickly as it had appeared.

“Thanks…”

---

“When I was a young filly,

my father

took me into the city,

to see a marching band…”

Pipp sighed. She was trying to watch one of the inflight movies: an unfunny comedy that she had already seen one too many times. Unfortunately, even if she wanted to pay attention, Izzy’s seat had karaoke.

“He said ‘When you grow up,” Izzy sang, wrapping a hoof around Señor Butterscotch’s shoulders, “would you be the savior of the broken…”

Pipp slowly stood up, deciding to take a moment to stretch her legs. Then the cabin began to shake violently, throwing her back into her seat with an undignified squawk.

“Folks, it appears that we are experiencing some turbulence . Please remain in your seats.”

Pipp groaned, rubbing a sore spot on the back of her neck. Izzy didn’t really seem to have noticed what had happened, but apparently Sparky had been jolted from his nap.

“Uh oh,” Hitch said, his paternal instincts kicking in. “Hey little buddy. It’s okay…”

Suddenly Sparky threw back his head and cried.

“Oh no no! It’s okay, little guy! It’s okay!” Hitch said, in a futile attempt to calm him down.

Just relax, Pipp thought. It’s just a crying baby…

“We'll carry on…” Izzy sang. “We’ll carry on…”

“I know!” Hitch said desperately. “How about something to drink, huh?” Hitch then thrust a juice box into Sparky’s mouth. Almost immediately he spat it out and began to cry louder.

Just stay calm… just stay calm…

“I am not afraid to keep on livin’ I am not afraid to walk this world alone!”

WAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Pipp was, in fact, not staying calm. She reached into her bag, desperately searching for her phone.

“What are you doing?”

“My meditation app!” Pipp explained. “I have it on my phone. I use it whenever I feel stressed out!”

“The usage of cellphones is not permitted while the Marestream is operational. We are very sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.”

“WHAT!? Okay, that’s it!”

“Ma’am, we are going to have to ask you to remain seated-”

“No! I’m not gonna sit down! I am not gonna let you treat me like this!”

“Uh, Pipp?” Hitch said. “Maybe we should take a deep breath and-”

“NO! I’m not gonna let this stupid plane treat me like this! It’s a matter of principle!”

“How rich. The monarch is complaining that she doesn’t get special treatment.”

“What did you say!?”

“We said that any formal complaints should be directed to our higher ups.”

A sinister grin then sprouted on Pipp’s face. “Oh, really…” she said. “Let’s just see about that.”

---

“Warning! Security breach imminent!”

The door to the cockpit slammed open, revealing a flustered pink pegasus. “Zipp!”

Zipp and Sunny both turned to their unexpected guest. “Oh hey Pipp,” Sunny said. “What’s going-”

“I’m being bullied! By an airplane!”

Sunny blinked. “Pardon?”

“We regret to inform you of this,” the voice suddenly said, “But there has been a passenger who has been unruly and uncooperative ever since boarding this flight.”

“Uncooperative!? I’ve done everything you’ve said!”

“And despite repeated warnings about her behavior, the passenger has continued to act out, and now she is even harassing the flight crew! We recommend swift and thorough disciplinary actions at once.”

“She’s lying! Come on Zipp, you gotta believe me!”

Pipp and Sunny both turned to look at Zipp. “Well…” she said after a pause.

“Oh come on!”

“We would suggest that you return to your seat now before further trouble."

“You don’t get to boss me around!” Pipp snapped. “I see what this is! First you did who knows what with that scanner earlier, then you don’t let me have real food or heat seats an-”

“One would think that your flank should not require any additional heating due to its large volume.”

Everpony fell silent. Sunny made a quiet gasp and brought a hoof up to her muzzle.

Pipp narrowed her eyes. “Did. You. Just. Call me. Fat?” she snarled.

“Oh no…” Zipp whispered.

“Perhaps we did. Perhaps we didn’t.”

“Oh…” Pipp said with a smile that was a little too wide. “Well then…” She then noticed Sunny’s lantern sitting in the middle of the controls and took a step towards it. “Perhaps we should try this!”

“Pipp! Wait-” Zipp interjected.

Pipp then pulled the lantern free from its socket. “Oops. Did I do that?”

“Pipp! Do you have any idea what you just did?”

“Pfft! Oh, relax Zipp. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

---

Grandma Figgy swore loudly as she watched the teacup slip she had dropped shatter on the floor. For her, it was more concerning than the explosion or whatever was going outside. That was her grandson's favorite cup, after all.

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. She hurried to open it, finding her grandson and a baby dragon on the other side, both covered in soot and dirt.

“Hitch?”

“Granny!” Hitch said with a smile that quickly morphed into a concerned frown. “Um, you’d know I’d hate to impose, but we kinda have a situation…”

Behind him was a large impact crater that now made up the majority of grandma Figgy’s yard, which in turn housed the remains of the Marestream. In front of that were four mares, with the unicorn of the group sobbing as she cradled a mannequin head.

“H-he…” Izzy stuttered. “He gave his life up for meEEEee!”

“Shh…” Sunny said, patting Izzy on the back. “It’s okay…”

“Why? WHYYYY!?” Izzy wailed.

“So…” Zipp turned away from the scene to look at her sister, who had just landed next to her. “I know what you’re thinking,” Pipp continued, “but look at it this way: you just survived your first crash landing!”

Zipp’s scowl deepened. Pipp swallowed.

“O-okay, but at least no one got hurt!”

Izzy then began to cry even harder. “Well, no pony at least,” Pipp finished with a smile that Zipp did not return.

“I am so telling Mom.”

Comments

[Flamewarrior02]

In loving memory of Señor Butterscotch

[Axolotl222]

11457996
He will be missed

[Hyper Star]

“ Please select your travel destination ,” the voice repeated. Zipp turned towards her friends with a grin on her muzzle.

Meanwhile, Izzy was staring out the window with a massive grin on her muzzle. “Oh my hoofness. We’re actually flying! Gah! This is so exciting! I’ve never flown before!” Izzy’s smile slowly faded, replaced by a confused frown. She turned around. “Hey guys?”

A sinister grin then sprouted on Pipp’s muzzle. “ Oh, really… ” she said. “Let’s just see about that.”

I think "a grin on her face" would be better then "on her muzzle".

Sparky giggled and clapped his hooves, which Hitch interpreted as a yes. Pipp sighed again.

Uuhhhhh, Sparky has hand's, not hooves.

Moving on, this was hilarious, especially when the AI said the part about Pipp’s flank not needing heating as it already has a large enough "volume", the was the roast of the day.

[Axolotl222]

11675319
Howdy howdy! Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad to hear you liked it.
Actually, looking back it, it's kinda funny that I wrote this before the AI boom.