Unfinished Mentions

by Rose Quill

Healing is Hard to Do

The chair was comfortable and soft, the kind that you could nap in if you had a mind for it. But the environment wasn’t geared for that.

Cold, unfeeling black and steel furniture filled the rest of the office, and the sterile feel made me feel a little out of sorts.

It’s part of why I had chosen this particular firm if I were honest. It had great credentials, but I didn’t want to be totally comfortable.

“So,” the woman across from me began, glancing at her notes. “Last time we talked about how your Trauma had been affecting your relationship.”

I nodded, shrinking in the chair a little despite my efforts not to. “It’s gotten better, but I still feel like it’s always going to be around the corner. I hate feeling like I’m not giving Rarity everything I could.”

My psychiatrist nodded and leaned back.

“Do you think you will ever be able to move on?” She asked bluntly

“I… don’t know.” I sighed. “The memories are always going to be there, and they aren’t the nicest ones.”

She nodded, making some notes on her pad. “How is your support group feeling about this revelation?”

“Dashie is mad, but they all want to help me.” I chewed on my lip for a moment. “Rarity has been supportive, but I can tell she’s holding back somewhat, not being as physically affectionate as she usually is.”

“And how does that make you feel?” Her violet eyes were soft, but it did little to soften her questions.

“I hate it,” I responded. “I know she’s trying not to trigger an episode, but sometimes I just want to be held and told that I’m loved. I know I am but sometimes, it helps to hear the words.”

“Have you talked to her about this?”

“I don’t know how.” I brushed my hand along my skirt. “It’s hard opening up about this sometimes. It was a very scary and demeaning moment in my life and I don’t want to taint our relationship with it.”

“If I may,” my therapist asked softly, closing her notebook and setting it aside. “From what we’ve talked about, it already is affecting your relationship.”

I looked down, feeling the tiny prickle in my eyes that signified impending tears.

“I know,” I whispered.

“I can’t make you do anything,” she continued, handing me a box of tissues that I accepted. “But my suggestion is to let her know how you feel and why this is such an important thing for you. Communication is key to keeping a healthy relationship.”

She glanced at the clock. “I think we will end here today. I want you to think about what we’ve talked about and how to go alpng from here. See Minty in the office to schedule your next appointment.”

I stood and turned to leave when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I turned to see my therapist smiling softly.

“And if you want, you can bring Rarity to these sessions as well. I think it may help her understand how to help you heal if she’s part of the process.”

Author's Note:

This was the hardest thing for me to write.

Firstly, I don’t like writing something about a profession that won’t sound authentic, for the fact that someone that actually is in the profession will sit there and go “That’s rubbish, and not at all how it happens”

Secondly, it made me have to tap into my own bits of Trauma to try and write Fluttershy. Her response and mine were very different due to our respective backgrounds and I had to imagine how I would have reacted if I was a more meek and easily cowed girl. Sure, Fluttershy has her Stare and her Geode and is strong now, but she still has that past where she wasn’t. That’s the Fluttershy we see here.

Also, my capitalization of Trauma is deliberate as my therapist said that we all have trauma of some kind, but the difference between trauma and Trauma is how well we are able to cope with it and the severity.

Again, this was difficult to write when I did it and I remember needing a nap and a long call with my girlfriend at the time, now my wife.

Comments

[Kittamaru]

Hey Rose... Long time no chat! Congratulations on getting married - despite the tone of this one, I hope that things have gotten better for you. Here's hoping 2024 is totally your year to rock!