Nation Shall Speak Peace Unto Nation

by Dan The Man

5. Ponytales

4. Scene – Applejack’s Farm

(Applejack and Octavia advance just arrived at the farm gate, knowing that Pinkie was waiting there for them)

·Applejack: Now… where’s your sis lurkin’ about agin?

·Octavia: I don’t know… I can’t see her anywhere. Are you sure she came to wait here?

·Pinkie Pie: *virtually appearing out of nowhere; jumps around excitedly* Yep! *jumps between the two* Wooo. Hey guys, what’s up?

·Applejack: Hi Pinkie, we d’came here to see if you was alright-

·Pinkie Pie: Yeah sure, I’m alright alright, but guys: you won’t believe what just happened! It’s amazing! Unbelievable!

·Applejack: *stays objectional* That’s nice Pinkie. But listen here furst; I’m ‘fraid we’ll have to cancel our hike today. Dere’s important business waitin’ for Twilight and Princess Celestia. And second’y: Ah brought your sister Octavia along!

·Pinkie: *to Octavia; seems to notice her only now, but doesn’t seem too surprised* Hi little sis! Long time no see!

·Octavia: *a bit uneasy* Hello, Pinkie.

·Pinkie: How’s your Fiddle-Fiddling coming along? Does it sound awesome already?

·Octavia: I moved up to the Cello. I mean, you know that. Didn’t we see each other at the Grand Galloping Gala?

·Pinkie: Oooh yeah! Thanks for playing that song for me! Wasn’t it some cool party in the end?

·Octavia: Well, you all nearly levelled the Royal Mess Hall. So it depends.

·Pinkie: *shining as bright as ever* Ooh, no harm done! *thinks* Now where was I…? Oooh, yes. Guys! You won’t believe what happened!

·Applejack: Lemme guess. *happily* Grandma straightened her hip agin?

·Pinkie: No, silly! My Pinkie senses were at it again!

·Applejack: *excited* Really? Wut ‘appened?

·Pinkie: Twitchy Tail!

·Octavia: “Pinkie Sense”? What is that?

·Applejack: Dat’s when yore sister can predict crazy things joost by twitchin’ body part! And “Twitchy Tail” usually means that sumthin’ fell outta de sky.

·Pinkie: Exactly! And guess what? Something did fall out of the sky! Right on your old barn, Applejack!

·Applejack: *frowns instantly* What, our ould Apple Family Apple Barn?

·Pinkie: Yeah!

·Applejack: Is… the barn okay?

·Pinkie: Nope! Totally flattened! Pulverized! Untraceable!

·Applejack: Oh no… what could’ve possibly fell on it to flatten the entire barn? Ah mean, that thing must’ve been huge!

·Pinkie: Come and look for yourselves!

(the three proceed to the old barn. Or at least its remains. Big Macintosh is already at the scene, over-viewing the field of shredded wood planks while chewing on a straw)

·Big Mac: *calmly* Hi, Applejack. Who’s yore friend?

·Applejack: Hi Mac. This is Pinkie’s sister Octavia. *looks at the destruction* Did you see wut ‘appened?

·Big Mac: Eeeyup.

·Applejack: Well, what was that?

·Big Mac: It wasn’t preddy.

·Applejack: Dat wasn’t mah question, Mac.

·Big Mac: Why don’tcha go and look for yoreselves?

(Applejack starts to dig through some of the rubble, with Octavia observing her findings and Pinkie eagerly hopping on the spot. With on pull of a plank, Applejack uncovers an upturned Kangaroo roundel, printed on a large metal surface)

·Applejack: Hang on, ah know dat thing! It’s the thing the ‘umans came in, Octavia!

·Big Mac: Who?

·Pinkie: What?

·Applejack: *being the bad liar she is* Uh, no one.

·Octavia: You are right. But how did it end up on top of your barn?

·Applejack: Dunno. *slits her eyes for dramatic effect* But ah knew them ‘umans would be nothin’ but trouble!

·Pinkie: “Nothin’ but trouble”?

·Big Mac: *approaches the two* Now wut in alluf Equestria are ya talkin’ about? What is what ‘about them ‘umans’?

·Applejack: Uh… Octavia here… has met… Oh ah can’t do it. Octavia, you tell ‘im, Ill go and look after Granny Smith.

·Octavia: *nervous* Applejack! No, wait!

·Pinkie: *all eager, as usual* So, what happened? Tellmetellmetellme!

·Octavia: Well, okay. I have been on my way from Everfree Forest ten days ago…

(While Octavia tells Big Mac and Pinkie everything she had witnessed, Applejack goes into the farmhouse to personally tell her about the human visit. After all, Granny Smith was the one who had always told her those frightening stories about humans. Maybe she knew even more)

·Applejack: Granny Smith, ah’ve got crazy news.

·Granny: *sits in her rocking chair; is half asleep* Wut? Applejack, ith dat you?

·Applejack: Yes, it’s your Applejack. Have ya seen what mess happened outside?

·Granny: Thure. I heardh it alright. A bigh crath, an’ dha barn wath gone.

·Applejack: Granny, ah think ah know whose fault iddis.

·Granny: What?

·Applejack: AH THINK AH KNOW WHOSE FAULT IDDIS.

·Granny: Oookay, ya donth have to thtart shoutin’.

·Applejack: Granny, ah’ve seen… ‘umans!

·Granny: ‘Umanth? You’ve theen ‘em?

·Applejack: Yeah, they look just like in your stories. They walk on two hooves, an’ have flat faces. They said they wanned to speak to the princesses.

·Granny: Oooh, thothe mennatheth are really comin’ ‘ere?

·Applejack: Whaddaya know about ‘em, Granny?

·Granny: When ah wath onleh a young filly, mah daddy toldh me dat he an’ mom weren’t born in Equethria. Dhey told me dat dey were actually born and raithed in thome great prairieth, where dey had lived many yearth. Den dey were attackedh bah ‘umanth, who tried to enthlave ‘em an’ force ‘em to work! Howev’r, dey ethcaped jootht in time, an’ some’ow made it to Equethtria, of which de ‘umanth didn’t know nothin’ about. Ah dunno how dhey reached Equethtria though, it’th an old thtory and from a long time ago, too. But now, ith theemth like they foundh it now, doe.

·Applejack: Holy apple pie, Granny. Is dat all true?

·Granny: Yep, child, it’th all true. Ya bedder watch yer back wid dothe ‘umanth around!

·Applejack: Ah will, Granny. I think dat Princess Celestia might be very interested in de story of yers. As long a swe don’ not know whad they want, we bedder keep an eye on ‘em.

·Granny: Do dat, Applejack. Tell me wad dhey look like lader on. Ah’ve been alwayth looking for’d to thee one wid mah own eyeth.

·Applejack: *storms out* Sure thing! Thanks, Granny Smith!

(Concluding Music Cue)

Comments

[DJ Cobalt]

awesome

[Dan The Man]

Oh, and by the way: I wrote this part well before the release of "Family Appreciation Day".
So all I have to say about the Apple Family's origins...
What a koinkidink!

[Cascades]

Fucking applejack. Fucking guards. Why u so xenophobic?

[Havokdapony]

6532827 it might be that they're slightly retarded

[Wir sind verloren]

· Granny: When ah wath onleh a young filly, mah daddy toldh me dat he an’ mom weren’t born in Equethria. Dhey told me dat dey were actually born and raithed in thome great prairieth, where dey had lived many yearth. Den dey were attackedh bah ‘umanth, who tried to enthlave ‘em an’ force ‘em to work! Howev’r, dey ethcaped jootht in time, an’ some’ow made it to Equethtria, of which de ‘umanth didn’t know nothin’ about. Ah dunno how dhey reached Equethtria though, it’th an old thtory and from a long time ago, too. But now, ith theemth like they foundh it now, doe.

Exclamation: PLEASE OMNISSIAH NO! STOP THIS!

[0Z0mbie]

9606685
MY EYES MAKE IT STOP MY EYES AHHHHHH