• Published 25th Dec 2011
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Nation Shall Speak Peace Unto Nation - Dan The Man



In the year 2012, Equestria is discovered. The United Nations reacts swiftly.

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9. Personal Agendas / The Newer Encounter

8. Scene – The Library

(Finch holds his glasses before his eyes as he skims through the UN’s sepciations for the diplomatic session together with Hartfield, Dr. Matuszek talks actively with Twilight and Spike about the various differences between their worlds, Laukkinnen talks to his DVR as he meticulousy describes the architecture of the room, and Levin leans against at one of the shelves, reading one of the books with great fascination)

·Twilight: … Yes, yes. But those are skills one has to learn. One can in fact learn them, provided they have enough time and devotion.

·Matuszek: This is… simply stunning. It seems to be a skill that is utterly lost in our world.

·Twilight: Really? You know, it would make in fact make your life so much easier.

·Matuszek: But it would bring big consequences, too. We even have a saying “Achievement through quality work”. It is a simple matter of imput and output. I am not a physicist, but I would call it a law of nature. Doesn’t this make ‘magic’ capabilities… unnatural? Or even impossible?

·Twilight: Well, one just has to see it differently, too, Doctor. For us, the mind itself is a valid, physical, if only subliminal, power on its own. Of course, we use our mind to achieve ‘magic’, but basically, the power input is still larger than the resulting output.

·Matuszek: In our world, science and research is usually dismissed as… blarney, really.

·Twilight: Really? But you really are missing out a potentially huge field to research about…

·Matuszek: *smiling appreciatively* You really are a very smart young girl, Twilight. *double-take* Oh, pardon me, I meant ‘pony’.

·Twilight: *grins* Oh, no offense taken. I understand how strange this all must be for you.

·Spike: *who has simply noddied and waited before* Listen. I have absolutely no clue what you two are talking about. Output? Blarney? For me, it’s plain hocum…

·Twilight: *nudges Spike friendishly* Ooh Spike, isn’t it just adorable when you don’t understand?

·Spike: Stop it Twilight, it’s embarrassing!

(Finch and Hartfield approach the trio, smiling at how well everything is going)

·Finch: So, Mrs. Matuszek, how is the cultural exchange going?

·Matuszek: Well, it is going simply excellent. I strongly advise you to take a look at the books.

·Twilight: Please feel free, everypony. *beat* Everyone, that is. I have Twenty-thousand five-hundred and twenty books in stock.

·Hartfield: And how many of the have you read?

·Twilight: *shily rolling her eyes* Oh, I don’t really know. But I do love reading in general.

·Hartfield: So it seems. What franchises did you focus on?

·Twilight: Well, I am pretty interdisciplinary. I have a lot on medicine and culture.

·Finch: *sees Agent Levin reading* It seems like one has already found a particular area of interest. *thinks for a second* Say, Ms. Sparkle, in what state are your government agencies?

·Twilight: Sorry?

·Finch: I mean Law Enforcement. Do you have Law Enforcement?

·Twilight: Well, there still are the Royal Guards. They are in charge of keeping order and peace. They are, however, mostly responsible for the protection of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

·Hartfield: A Praetorian Guard then, eh? And what kind of Military do you have?

·Matuszek: Mr. Finch, Mr. Hartfield. Please, we have not come to talk about such topics.

·Hartfield: Dr. Matuszek, please. This is required in our capacity. You may understand why. *to Twilight* Please, carry on, Miss.

·Twilight: *startled* As… as I said, there only is the Royal Guard. We weren’t exactly attacked before. At least nothing that the Guard could contain by themselves.

·Finch: *smiles patronisingly* Well, Ms. Sparkle. We just wanted some advice on that before the session begins.

·Hartfield: What equipment does your military carry? Do they have firearms?

·Matuszek: *snaps a little bit* This is it, Mr. Hartfield. I cannot believe that you ask questions like this out of pure mutual understanding.

·Hartfield: Quite on the contrary, really. You must not forget that we never saw them and neither were we known by them. It would be in our best interests to discuss military cooperative benefits. *back to Twilight* Are there branches in the Royal Guard? What kind of weaponry do they get issued?

·Matuszek: *insulted* I believe I will go now. *walks over to Laukkinen, who positioned his camera near a window*

·Twilight: *watches her walk away and looks up again to Finch and Harfield* Well, to be fair… I really wouldn’t like to talk about such topics. It seems that my personal principles are very different.

·Finch: I understand that, Ms Sparkle. But you, of all people must know that knowledge often does equal power.

·Twilight: *somewhat dissappointed in Finch and Hartfield* Of all ponies, Mr. Finch… *walks over to one of the bookshelves*

·Hartfield: *to Finch* I could not have formulated it worse, Finch. We do not need that kind of philosophy to accompany our reputation.

·Finch: But it is true. Just you watch it, Mr Hartfield.

(Both diplomats carry on with a conversation about their respective tasks, while Dr. Matuszek strikes up a converstion with Laukkinen seems to be finished. Twilight stops at the shelf Levin leans against. Unseen by everyone else, she levitates a book to herself and opens it. The book is entitled “The Tale of the Dragon and the Knights”)

·Matuszek: *to Laukkinen, who has witnessed the conversation* Oh, Mr Laukkinen.

·Laukkinen: *curiously* What is wrong, Ms. Matuszek?

·Matuszek: How could I have been so stupid?

·Laukkinen: What do you mean?

·Matuszek: Well, I tend to call myself an anthropologist and a sociologist, don’t I?

·Laukkinen: Why, yes. And you do a great job, if I may judge it…

·Matuszek: But how can anyone call herself that if one forgets to acknowledge our own culture.

·Laukkinen: *quickly disassembles one of his lenses, then turns around to Matuszek*

·Matuszek: *nods at Finch and Hartfield* Look at those two, Mr Laukkinen. Now that I thing of it, it was pretty naïve of me not to expect such a behaviour.

·Laukkinen: And why do you think so?

·Matuszek: Finch and Hartfield… Representatives of two of the world’s most powerful countries. Countries whose affluence is traditionally based on the representation on a global scale. With all the influence that accompanies it, naturally. Their trade is diplomacy. The trade of ensuring that one’s own nation gets a piece of the cake. It is pretty much their job to assure their nation’s interests before the Unknown. Coming here to ask for cooperation, military cooperation no less. Then they might even return for the mining rights, I suspect. It wouldn’t surprise me.

·Laukkinen: *in a patronising tone* Oh, Ms Matuszek. It is always like this, not?

·Matuszek: I’m sorry?

·Laukkinen: *grins* It is. See, when I was in Iraq in August ‘92, I accompanied an American minister, Garret McCoughney. It should have been a trip about regional conflicts at the Kuwait border. The Iraq-Kuwait Barrier, you know?

·Matuszek: Ah, yes.

·Laukkinen: Anyway…But what did the whole trip amount to in the end?

·Matuszek: What?

·Laukkinen: Visiting the Sabriyah Oil Fields.

·Matuszek: *just shakes her head* Typisch…

·Laukkinen: “Damage Prevention” he said, “The Oil Fields were burned one and a half years prior by Iraqi Forces”. He just had to see if there was still salable. But I didn’t fret about it, and so should you.
And after that, in ’95, the same thing. We were on our way to Kragujevac, then-Yugoslavia. Our last destination? The Zastava Works, to discuss “the sanctions.”
For these diplomats, you see, it is completely normal for them. Don’t blame them, Mrs. Matuszek, it is routine, it would be strange for them not to do so. It is practically the only way to appropriately do it. They accustomed to it, I accustomed to it, the brass accustomed to it. War is market, war is profit.

·Matuszek: Then I ask, Mr. Laukkinen, why are you here?

·Laukkinen: *beat* Because I love my job, Dr. Matuszek. Of course, I am not on the same train as them, but still. I like photography, I like travelling, percieving people from other cultures. So I do, I must confess, follow my very own agenda. I captured the endless deserts of Kuwait, the old, shattered Grammar School of Kragujevac on 35mm film… that itself was worth it. Yes, I report for the UN. I record diplomacy, transcribe bureaucratic processes. I… I get a good pay for that, that may be. But still, my true hobby is the documentary of the regions themselves. I make the photos, the interviews, and in the end I sell them anonymously (as long as the information is not classified). I have worked with Reuters, I have worked with the BBC. I see myself as a camera-man filming life. With a destiny to inform the rest of the world of what is happening in it.
But still, let us not pretend that we have more rights to be here than Finch and Hartfield. They do things that are… questionable… but they do genuinely care about doing them proper. Because they believe in this, they have their own standards. They want their countries to be there. They are professionals of their conviction.
So, Mrs. Matuszek, why exactly are you here then? Also any double agendas?

·Matuszek: No, just for my own curiosity, Mr. Laukkinen. And this curiosity is required, as well as fueled, by my profession. You understand what I mean?

·Laukkinen: Yes. Our tasks have quite a few things in common, Mrs. Matuszek.

·Matuszek: Maybe.

(There suddenly seems to be some commotion outside. Twilight packs away her book and gallops to the door, witnessing the black chariot landing smoothly before her entrance, pulled by four bulky black Pegasi and holding the majestic and somewhat intimidating Princess Luna, carrying a gracefully featureless smile. Twilight quickly turns to the diplomats)

·Twilight: Princess Luna has arrived.

·Finch: *who had assumed an official standing pose the moment he heard the commotion* Excellent. *to the others* Please, put away the security vests, this is getting formal. Agent Levin, please lead the way.

(Levin snaps into action, snapping the book shut and straightening her blazer. Her agents check their radios (that naturally still don’t work) and their weapons, and then crowd around Levin to receive last instructions)

·Levin: Okay, here’s the plan. The Princess seems to attract a lot of civilians. Do not touch them if they do not directly stand in the way of the delegates. Try to make clear that you want them to make an alley. As you might know, they’d be scared crapless by you as much as they scare you. Just be proffesional. It’s Standard Crowd Control.

·Agents: *along the lines of* Roger that, Levin. No worries.

(Levin slowly opens the door and sees the crowd of immensely colourful ponies, as well as Princess Luna, who is just getting off her chariot)

·Levin: *sighs* God. This is creeped out. Guys, just stay professional.

·Hartfield: Finch. You kind of should have pointed out that we’re humans, not ponies.

·Finch: *highly sarcastic* Well thank you very much, Hartfield.

(Slowly, the agents emerge from the entrance, to find themselves surrounded with rubberneck ponies. They reacted with a mixture of genuine amazement at the diplomats from a far away country, but were simultaneously at the freakish look of them. Like giant monkeys without the fur. And fully dressed. As the agents diffedently split the crowd to make an alley for the diplomats. Next, Twilight and Spike emerged from the library, approaching Princess Luna. Luna herself is indeed surprised by the visitors; she had not expexcted a diplomatic party from anyone but ponies, or in extreme cases, buffaloes. Twilight makes a short traditional bow before addressing her, knowing how much Luna paid attention to Canterlot Etiquette)

·Twilight: Good Morning, Princess Luna. The diplomats are already present.

·Luna: GOOD MORROW, TWILIGHT SPARKLE. THOU HAST SERVED THE ROYAL COURT GREATLY TODAY.

(Immediately, the ponies crowding around them jiggle back or kneel. The agents, taken off guard by the shouting, decide to knee in order to keep low)

·Twilight: Thank you, Princess Luna. *a little bit lower* Please, your volume…

·Luna: OH… Thank thee again, Twilight Sparkle *whispers into her ear upon seeing the agents* But were We not expecting Buffaloes to come and talk?

·Twilight: *corrects quickly* Oh no no. The foreign envoys are humans. This is why it was so urgent.

·Luna: Humans? *takes a second to rethink her approach* It has been… quite a long time for Us.

·Twilight: But they have come a long way to find us. They say that they didn’t know of Equestria either until a short while ago.

·Luna: So it seems. Very well then, We shall greet the humans now.

(Twilight winks at Spike who holds the door, who then holds it open for Finch, Matuszek and Hartfield. Laukkinen follows the at some distance, the camera over his shoulders. Finch stands completely stiff before Princess Luna. He had not thought how to address her, or whether he should kneel. He whispers to Matuszek, who stands to his left and to Hartfield, who stands to his right)

·Finch: *very very silently* Booooooow at threeeeee…

(Finch does what he would have done before the Queen; a discrete bow. Nearly simultaneously, Hartman bow while Dr. Matuszek makes a curtsey. All three notice her tiara and horn. Her mane, “the flaming stuff around her head”, was a mystifying as it looked on Octavia’s drawing. It assumed the form of a deep blue flame, flickering in an invisible wind. Her countenance was proud and patient. She didn’t seem like royalty, but like a deity. Her dark-blue greyishness with the sickle moon cutie mark and the majestic wings certainly did not help)

·Luna: *fascinated* NOW WHO OF THOU IS DONATHAN FINCH OF THE UNITED KINGDOM?

·Finch: *bows his head, it takes him a second* I am, Your Highness.

·Luna: *lifts her hoof for a shake* CHARMED.

·Finch: *Unsure whether to shake or to kiss it* The joy… *takes the silver-clad hoof* is on our part… *kisses it, covertly very reluctant*

·Luna: *quickly pulls back her hoof; she had just expected a formal shake* Well… yes, erm… WE HAVE HEARD THOU AND THY ACCOMPANISTS HAVE COME FROM A LAND FAR AWAY.

·Finch: That is true, Your Highness. *presents his ‘accompanists’* This, uhm, is Lucas Hartfield, a Career Minister of the United States of America, heading the economic delegation. And this Dr. Elke Matuszek of the Federal Republic of Germany, heading the Cultural and Scientific Exchange Programme. I… myself am, as Your Highness might already know, from The United Kingdom of England, Scotland and Northern Ireland…

·Luna: HAST THOU SAID ‘ENGLAND’?

·Finch: *absolutely intimidated* Yes, Your Highness…

·Luna: ENGLAND IS A COUNTRY WELL KNOWN BY PONIES OF ALL AGES. IT IS A LAND FEATURED IN THE MOST FAMOUS EQUESTRIAN TALES. SAY, DONATHAN FINCH, WHAT MESSAGES HAST THOU BROUGHT FROM THY SOVEREIGN?

·Finch: *nervously* To be exact, your highness, we…

·Luna: PLEASE SPEAK UP, DONATHAN FINCH.

·Finch: I… my colleagues and I have come in the name of the United Nations. It is an alliance of most human nations. We have come to achieve good relations between our two cultures, and to discuss themes for our mutual gain. *he holds his breath as he awaits her reaction*

·Luna: *is a bit quizzical about Finch’s apparently shy nature* PLEASE, DONATHAN FINCH. WE HAVE WELCOMED THOU AND THY COMPANIONS IN OUR REALM AS GUESTS OF PEACE AND HONOR. AS THOU MAY BE AWARE, THE TIMES OF ILL-DISPOSED RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN BOTH OUR WORLDS HATH PASSED A (HOPEFULLY) LONG TIME AGO. THY COMPANY HATH NOTHING TO FEAR!

·Finch: *still intimidated at being shouted down like that, but he still identifies what she says; he doesn’t know of any ‘ill-disposed’ relations, but carries on* Thank you, Your Highness. We appreciate your country’s stance very much.

·Luna: VERY WELL. SHALL THOU AND US RELOCATE TO CANTERLOT; OUR ROYAL RESIDENCE?

·Finch: *a tad relieved* As Your Highness wishes.

·Luna: *noticing Laukkinen and his camera in the background* SHALL HE COME WITH US, TOO?

·Finch: *turns around, nervously waving to Laukkinen and quickly hssing* Come here! *then turning back to Luna* Yes, he is part of the diplomatic group. He will record the results and document the entire visit.

·Luna: SO BE IT. PLEASE FOLLOW ME TO MY CHARIOT. THOU ART ALLOWED TO TRAVEL WITH US. FLYING TO CANTERLOT WILL BE FASTER.

·Finch: *beat* Ffflying,..? Your Highness

·Luna: OF COURSE. WE SHANT WANT TO ABANDON THOU ON THE GROUND.

·Finch: With… that chariot?

·Luna: CERTAINLY. IT HAS BEEN IN ROYAL USE FOR CENTURIES.

(Finch, Matuszek, Hartfield and Laukkinen gulp. None of them had the intention to fly. Especially not on a chariot, no matter how glidable. Finch was simply scared by the fact that a chariot could fly. Matuszek was afraid of heights. Hartfield was a claustrophobiac, and the thought of sharing a gliding chariot with three other people and a horse was just scarring. Laukkinen was afraid that he had to leave his equipment behind. After a series of unhappy glances towards each other, Finch steps forward and nervously says)

·Finch: With all… condolences, Your Highness. We do not wish to strain your means of transportation like that. Hundreds of years are certainly a valiant effort, but we are not used to… *halts, smiles and waits for her reaction*

·Luna: *awkwardly disgruntled* SO BE IT, DONATHAN FINCH. WE SHALL EXPECT THY COMPANY AT CANTERLOT WITHIN THE DAY.

·Finch: *nods with relief* Yes, Your Highness. Thank you, Your Highness.

·Luna: ARE THOU SURE? ARE THY CHAPERONS UP TO THE TASK?

·Finch: *nodding to Levin* Of course, your highness. They are experted security agents…

·Luna: THEN, GOOD FORTUNE AT THY SAUNDER, OUR DEAR LEGATES.

(As Finch, Matuszek, Hartfield and Laukkinen bow to her once more, she steps back on her chariot, hailing one last time to the attendees and her subjects. Then she gives the signal, upon which the Guard Pegasi start to speed again, lifting the chariot high into the sky like a Harrier Jet. Then, it speeds off towards the clouds. It was as insane as it was majestic. Eyes wide open, Finch turns to Mrs. Matuszek)

·Finch: *silently* Bloody Hell, not even ten horses could have gotten me on that goddamn contraption!

·Matuszek: *slowly shakes head in disbelief* Me neither… Die Kiste hatte nicht mal irgendwelche Flügel…

·Hartman: *speechless* …What she said.

·Laukkinen: *his tripod still over his shoulder* I guess that I will get enough possibilities to take pictures of that later on…

·Finch: *tries to snap out of it* Do that. *turns to his group* We will just use the conventional way for now, Ladies and Gentlemen. *turns to Twilight* Ms Sparkle, how far is it to the residence?

·Twilight: You mean Canterlot? *thinks shortly* It is that way, about five miles down the path…

·Hartfield: Five miles? Christ, more walking…

·Finch: Pay the price, Hartfield. No backup convoys now. No herded streets, no road blocks…

·Levin: And how about them? *points at all the ponies still standing and watching in awe*

·Hartfield: Well, we have to get through somehow.

(Levin unpacks her security vest and puts it on. She then unpacks a small, portable megaphone ad attaches it to her radio. The agents clear the way as the diplomats cross the sea of longing ponies. Finch tries to get through quickly, while Matuszek shakes several of the hoovs that are stretched up to her by the ponies)

·Levin: *to the crowd* Please make way. Make an alleyway.

(They all pass through the talking and babbling crowd, and are merely followed by a handful of ponies. Finch look straight forward, on the path before him. Dr. Matuszek, who has gradually enough of his supposed ignorance of the miracles of Equestria, confronts him)

·Matuszek: *accusingly yet sarcastic* It may not interest you that much, Mr. Finch, but do you…

·Finch: *cuts her sentence short with a rather unaccustomed force*
I know what you want to say, Dr. Matuszek. I have seen you speaking with Laukkinen (good riddance to him!).
But I am currently trying hard to put my position on the first place. And by God, you do not believe how difficult it is for me at the moment to concentrate! I don’t have your advantage of inciting my natural curiosity into my profession, Ms Matuszek. I tried to, but it simply never worked out. You believe that I am oblivious to all those magnificent, intriguing sights? Not, in, the, slightest! It is very difficult for me to ignore this, in order to set my priotities straight. *suddenly back to his smug deadpan, when Levin appears behind him, bearing his security vest, which he promptly puts on* Now, if you excuse me, Ms. Matuszek, there still is business to attend to. If you wish to talk, we shall find a better time.

·Matuszek: *astounded at his actual lack of ignorance; remotely glad* We will find a better time, then.

(Concluding Music Cue)