If You Give A Pony A Time Spell

by TCC56

Pinkie Pie

It was a beautiful late spring day in Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle was having a wonderful lunch with Pinkie Pie at the Café Hay when Pinkie Pie walked past them with Rainbow Dash.

It took approximately four seconds to sink into Twilight's head that something was wrong. Pinkie Pie was, after all, historically good at doing things that made no sense or seemingly defied logic and Twilight had long since (painfully) understood that questioning it too hard would only go poorly. However, the only other time Pinkie had been in two places at the same time was when she had been messing with the Mirror Pool and so a second one of her around Ponyville was concerning.

"Pinkie," Twilight asked carefully, "Did another you just walk past us?"

Twilight had been expecting a denial. The suggestion of a changeling, maybe. It was not for Pinkie to nod and cheerfully confirm "Yep!"

The unexpectedness of it caused Twilight to hesitate. That hesitation, in turn, gave Pinkie the chance to wave wildly and draw the attention of her duplicate. Waving goodbye to Rainbow and quickly changing course, the double pronked over to the Café and their table.

Twilight opened her mouth to ask the obvious question - and was preempted as the two Pinkies conversed.

"Oh, is it time for this conversation already?" The new arrival seemed as chipper as ever, and undeniably also Pinkie Pie.

The other one nodded. "Yep, just like you said!"

The first sat down beside the second, and Twilight had already lost track of which one was which. One of them addressed her directly. "Hi Twi! You're going to ask if one of us is from the Mirror Pool or is a changeling or a couple of other things, and the answer to all of the questions is no."

"You'll never guess what the answer really is!" One of the Pinkies bounced excitedly.

"And I know that's true, because you get all your guesses wrong!" The other was doing the same.

And together they announced: "Time travel!"

Twilight recoiled at the term.

"One of us is from your future," Pinkie excitedly explained. "But only three days, before you get worried."

"Too late, she started worrying the moment she saw a second us," noted the other.

"Awww."

Twilight interrupted them before things got weirder worse. "What do you mean, time travel? How did you time travel?!"

Both Pinkies rolled their eyes at the same time. "Well duh, Twilight. I used Starlight's spell."

"How?! That scroll was destroyed when Starlight and I returned to the present!" Twilight could feel the hairs in her mane trying to spring out of place.

Pinkie had an answer for that, of course. "I went back in time and grabbed it before it was destroyed," she matter-of-factly stated.

"But how did you time travel to do that?" More of Twilight's mane (and sanity) started to fray.

"With the spell," Pinkie confirmed.

"But that's a paradox!" Twilight stopped before she could rant further as Pinkie put a hoof over her mouth.

The Pinkie hushed her. "Sssssshhhhhh. Remember the Pinkie Sense. Don't try to think about it. You'll only hurt yourself."

It was frustrating, but Twilight knew Pinkie was right. The explanation made no sense and was paradoxical, but it was also Pinkie Pie and past experience had shown how dangerous attempting to solve her could be. So the little purple alicorn relaxed a little.

And then tensed back up.

"Pinkie," she gently asked, "How did you cast the spell? You're an earth pony."

One of the Pinkies smiled broadly. "That was easy! I just went further back in time first and talked to Starlight. Once I convinced her that it wasn't very Equal that only one tribe of ponies could cast spells, she changed it so anypony who said the chant could use it!"

The other Pinkie's eyes went wide. "Oh! That's really smart!"

The first one grinned back at herself. "It is! You'll be really proud of it once you think of it!"

Once more, Twilight opened her mouth to object to another blatant paradox. One of the Pinkies held up her hoof. "Ap-bup-bup!" She batted her eyelashes in her best Rarity impression. "Don't think about it!"

Fuming, Twilight let it go again. Instead, she moved to a different question. "Why are you here? If you went to all this trouble it has to have been for a good reason, right?"

"Of course it is, silly!" The tone immediately made Twilight cringe, because she knew it wasn't. But Pinkie didn't stop. "I had a really, really full schedule today! So since I learned my lesson with the Mirror Pool, the only way to be in several places at once was time travel!"

"PINKIE." This time, there was no shushing Twilight as she shot out of her chair. "Time travel is dangerous! You can't just use it for trivial things like–"

Both Pinkies pouted at Twilight at the same time. "Don't say parties," they spoke in unison.

Those sad faces derailed Twilight. "...like scheduling problems," she more calmly stated, sitting back down. After a slow, calming breath, she began again. "You already did it, so we'll just have to deal with those consequences. Could you please give me the spell scroll so we can make sure nothing else happens?"

A Pinkie Pie shook her head. "Sorry, Twi-Twi. I gave it to Rainbow Dash."

Something inside Twilight's head went sproink. "You what."

"Gave it to Rainbow Dash," Pinkie repeated. "She spotted that there were two of me first, so she asked me first about what was going on." She motioned with a hoof over to where one of them had been walking with Rainbow several minutes before. "So I explained everything to her, then she asked if she could borrow the scroll. Then I called me over, I gave it to Dashie, and then we started this conversation so I could keep you busy long enough for her to cast it!"

Twilight's head rotated on a pivot, just in time to see Rainbow Dash disappear in a flash of light. Then it spun back to Pinkie Pie. "Why?!"

Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes. "Well, duh. Because I knew it already happened from my perspective in the earlier timeline, so it had to happen otherwise there would be a paradox."

"Yeah," the other Pinkie loudly agreed. "I mean, come on Twilight, that's basic temporal mechanics!"

Comments

[The Sleepless Beholder]

Of course Pinkie is the start to all of this. It's the only illogical option.

[Lurks-no-More]

Is Pinkie pulling off Bill & Ted's time travel gambit there?

Also, her lecturing to Twilight about the importance of avoiding paradoxes is hilarious.

[Yoshifan30]

It was frustrating, but Twilight knew Pinkie was right. The explanation made no sense and was paradoxical, but it was also Pinkie Pie and past experience had shown how dangerous attempting to solve her could be. So the little purple alicorn relaxed a little.

Oh yeah definitely especially with all the mishaps all because she wants to know the truth about Pinkie Pie and her Twitchy tail

[Yoshifan30]

"Yeah," the other Pinkie loudly agreed. "I mean, come on Twilight, that's basic temporal mechanics!"

Time traveling gives me a headache

[Yoshifan30]

Well this is a pretty interesting start of a story and of course Pinkie Pie started this whole chaotic situation about the time traveling and she even explain how she got the spell time and it looks like Rainbow Dash is going to use it as well this is going to be a very interesting one indeed

[Alex Warlorn]

Causality loop isn't technically a paradox, it's "you've already changed the past" which is how Starswirl's spell worked. Not Starlight's.

[Tangerine Blast]

Twilight’s first mistake was thinking Pinkie would just ignore time travel once knowing it exists

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

"But that's a paradox!" Twilight stopped before she could rant further as Pinkie put a hoof over her mouth.

"A Paradox Can Be Paradoctored"
Wall plaque in "All You Zombies" (Heinlein)