Trixie's Bizarre Adventure: Ash Witches

by Magenta Cat

Damn you, trolley problem!

Six witches walked down the streets of Neigh Orleans.

They were Sunset Shimmer, the aspiring heroine, Trixie Lulamoon, the performer, Gilda, the fighter, Lightning Dust, the drifter, Diamond Tiara the rebel heiress and Silver Spoon, the healer.

Fate had brought them together in a quest for the power to stop an ancient evil. Through their journey, they had already faced many dangers, but they all had the same mysterious ability. They could all summon an expression of their inner self. A manifestation of their own spirits. A power to reach deep within themselves and bring out the pinnacle of their own willpower; A stand.

Armed with such a strange weapon, they had already crossed half the continent. This time, they were at Neigh Orleans to consult a tarot reader named Golden Violin. She was the daughter of Cursed Stare, a fortune teller so precise, she was known as the Weaver of Fate herself. Though she had passed away, Golden Violin had taken upon the family tradition was starting to make a name among the occult circles.

"And there, is where I met the con artist who taught me how to take Diamond's wallet." Being native of the place, Trixie acted as a makeshift guide.

"My what?" Diamond checked her jacket, looking up to see her wallet in Trixie's hand. "Give it back!" She snatched the wallet out of Trixie's hand, handing it to Silver for safekeeping.

"Don't worry, I was just playing." Trixie bowed her witch hat. "But keep in mind kids around here learn how to pickpocket fairly early, so take care of your wallets and watches."

Out of instinct, they all reached their pockets to make sure their possessions were still there.

"Now, if we follow down this road, we can make it to the Tabaco y Chanel," Trixie turned around, making her jacket swing like a cape. "It's said that Starswirl the Bearded himself enchanted it while drunk out of his mind, and our best shot to know where to meet with Golden Violin."

"Give Trixie the wheel and of course she manages to take us to a bar," Gilda commented to Sunset, who snickered. As they kept walking and the night fell around them, they could hear music coming from the many places that opened the night life in town.

"Yeah, well, I need a drink after that long of a trip." Lightning got between them, hanging from their shoulders. "Besides, let her be. When was the last time you saw Trixie returning a stolen wallet?" They all nodded in acknowledgement.

"Indeed, Miss Lulamoon sure looks enthusiastic to be at home," Silver added, careful to walk right at the same rhythm as Diamond tiara next to her. "Plus, she's taking us straight to where we can find Golden Violin, so she's still focused."

"I wouldn't mind a detour or two," Diamond looked around them. Although she enjoyed the night life back in Manehattan, she had never been at a smaller town. "This place looks like we could have some fun for a change."

"Halt right there," a flowery voice interrupted their chat.

"We won't allow another step," a second similar voice added.

There were two men standing between Trixie and the rest of the group. They had red hair and dressed in the same white shirts and pants, stripped sky blue and white vests, straw hats and bow ties. Adding to the similarity, they both had almost the same face, like twins, with the only difference being that one of them sported a moustache.

"Who are you?" Sunset stepped forward.

"He's Flim," the one with the moustache pointed at the other.

"And he's Flam," Flim pointed back.

"And together we're the Flim Flam Brothers," they said in unison with a singsong tone.

"What do you want?" Gilda stepped forward too, already cracking her knuckles for a fight.

"We're musicians," Flim said, lifting his hat with a finger.

"Paid artists," Flam added, arranging his moustache.

"And we were paid to make sure your last son is a dirge!" They said in a louder tone.

"Oh, no. You won't," Gilda charged at them.

"Estocolmo!" The Flim Flam brothers shouted. There was a bright flash of light, and the sound of a trolley on its tracks. The six witches couldn't see or hear for a moment, almost falling unconscious from the sensorial overload. But just as sudden as it started, the cacophony of sound and light stopped with the snap of fingers.

"What the hell?!" Diamond was the first to regain her vision, only to realize they were on a strange place like a cavern, and she was tied down to what felt like two metal bars. Next to her, Silver was tied down too.

"Where are we?" Lightning asked. She too was tied to a pair of metal bars, next to Gilda and Sunset next.

"What are you doing with my friend?!" Trixie was on a cement platform, no more than a couple of meters above them. She tried to jump down to help them, but her feet were chackled down to the floor. Next to her, there was a lever.

"Miss Lulamoon, right?" Flim's voice called out as fingers snap echoed through the tunnel.

The ceiling lightened up, revealing where they were. The metal bars where Sunset, Gilda, Lightning, Diamond and Silver were tied to looked like train tracks. Trixie looked they were in what looked like a subway station. Another fingers snap, and a spotlight revealed a second platform at the other side of the twin tracks. There, standing triumphally, were the Flim Flam brothers.

"We would like to play a game." Flam said, taking off his hat to salute.

"Are you familiar with the trolley problem?" Flim asked. "It's meant to test one's morality."

"For you see," Flam began explaining. "These twin tracks diverge from the same one where there's a trolley waiting." He snapped his fingers again, making a row of lights on the tunnel's ceiling to light up. Trixie's sight followed them, seeing where both sets of tracks became one, and up the tunnel, the aforementioned trolley.

"In less than fifteen minutes," Flim hung a pocket watch from his hand. "The trolley will go down the tracks and ran over the three of them." He pointed at the set of tracks closest to Trixie, where Sunset, Gilda and Lightning were struggling to get free.

"Or," Flam raised his finger. "You can pull the lever next to you. It will make the tracks change their place and the trolley will run over the younger ones." He pointed his other hand down, at the tracks where Diamond and Silver were tied down.

"You can't hold us down!" Lightning shouted. "Torero!" A spectral woman dressed up as a matador swung an estoc at the ropes. Yet, the ropes didn't show any damage. "¡Dale, dale!" Lightning kept shouting as her stand kept giving estocadas at the ropes, almost hitting herself.

"It won't work," Flim clicked his tongue while waving a finger. "Our invincible stand, Estocolmo, prevents any other stand from interfering with the game's progress."

"Oh, yeah? And what will your trolley do when it hits an unmovable object? Hagane no Resistance!" Diamond tiara shouted too. A set of metal pieces materialized around her, flying to cover her body. But once they clashed against the ropes, they banished. so did Lightning's Torero, despite her still shouting.

"Ah-ah-ah, no defenses either." Flam taunted. "The only way anyone can leave Estocolmo's realm is for the target of the game to make her choice." Both brothers looked at Trixie, who had been silent while looking at her friends, then at the trolley, then back at the brothers with an almost absent gaze.

"The choice is quite simple, miss Lulamoon," Flim said, bowing for her from the other side of the tracks. "All you have to do is to pull the lever and save three people,” he made a pause. “But killing two innocent kids.”

“Or don’t,” Flam continued, bowing next to his brother. “And three people die to save two.”

"He-he-he!" They slowly broke into laughter. "Ho-ho-ho!" As everything they did together, the brothers' laughter followed a tempo. A calculated melody perfected through years of working together almost as one.

"Ha!" A third voice joined them in what sounded close to a raven's caw. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Trixie's laughter threw of Flim and Flam's one. She kept laughing out loud, holding the brim of her hat with a hand and her own stomach with another. Trixie looked like the witches of old, laughing and cursing dextra et sinistra.

"You fools," she finally cut off her laughter, whipping a tear off her eye with a finger. "You really think this is a choice for me?" Trixie calmly turned towards the lever.

"I pull this, and the brats die, right?" She did so, changing the tracks of the trolley so it would go over Diamond and Silver. "But if I don't." She pushed it back to its original position, connecting the tracks to the ones where Sunset, Gilda and Lightning were tied. "The idiots die instead."

There was a sepulchral silence. Everyone was as immobile as a stone. Only Trixie made a move, turning her head to face Flim and Flam again from under her hat.

"You two really thought I care for any of them?" She smiled amply, like the wicked witch she was.

"Trixie, you bitch!" Gilda was the first to react. "What are you even doing?!"

"What? I'm being honest here." She lifted her palms defensively. "Look, Gilda, I like you, guys, but I'm not gonna let a couple of barbershop musical rejects imply me in your murder." She lifted her hand from the lever. “As long as I don’t choose, I’m not the one who killed you.”

Gilda struggled against the ropes holding her down. Not to escape or save the others anymore. But to get over Trixie and beat her up. But no matter what, the ropes conjured by Estocolmo seemed unbreakable. She couldn’t even call out her stand, Instruments of Destruction, like Diamond or Lightning did.

"Hey!" Flim called from the other side of the tracks. “You have to choose.”

“If you don’t,” Flam joined him. “The trolley will start anyways.”

“Oh, really?” Trixie looked at them with a puzzled look, despite still smiling widely.

“Yes,” they both said together. “Our invincible stand, Estocolmo cannot be stopped.” Flim angrily snapped his fingers, lightning up a clock behind them. Its hands move backwards, making a countdown with less than ten minutes in it.

“Pull the lever and save three people,” Flim said again. “But killing two innocent kids.”

“Or don’t,” Flam continued the reciting. “And three people die to save two.”

“Trixie!” Sunset cried out. “Don’t pull the lever!” Everyone went quiet again. “They’re just kids, Trixie.” She gestured at Diamond and Silver. “Save them, goddamn it!”

"We're not just kids!" Diamond shouted back. "We have the oblige as nobles." Tears slowly ran down her cheeks. "I could never live with myself if someone else died for me..." Despite the ropes holding both of them down, Silver managed to nudge her head on Diamond's shoulder, nodding in support. "Pull that level, miss Lulamoon, and then avenge our deaths."

"Calm down, girls." Trixie waived her hand down as if lowering the tone of an orchestra. "I know exactly what to do." She jerked her head to a side and looked straight at the Flim Flam brothers. "I'll just let the trolley hit all five of you and avenge everyone."

"WHAT?!" Seven voices echoed as Trixie kept smiling widely.

"You can't do that!" Flim pointed an accusatory finger at her. "Our stand, Estocolmo, forces you to choose one or the other."

"And your bravado is costing you time!" Flam pointed his finger at the clock behind them. "Just five minutes left before you have to pick or be trapped here eternally."

"Five minutes? I don't have that time," Trixie checked her own pocket watch, while still holding the lever with her other hand. "I'll just use my stand to start that trolley already."

"What? No, you can't--" Flam tried to interrupt her.

"Night Witches!" Trixie shouted. From her skin, small black creatures started to emerge. They looked like miniature bats and moths, all with glowing red eyes, flapping and forming a swarm. The creatures flew over the trolley, covering it entirely before entering its cabin. The vehicle's lights turned up and it started to move, despite the clock behind the brothers still three minutes away from its countdown.

"You wanted me to choose?" Trixie called at the Flim Flam brothers as the trolley gained speed. "Because I did make a choice." She started to laugh. The swarm of Night Witches flew off the trolley and over the brothers. They were consumed by the black mass of the creatures flying around them, as another swarm formed over the rails. When night Witches dissipated, both brothers were on the rails too. Flim was tied next to Lighting, while Flam was tied to next to Silver.

"I choose that everyone dies!" Trixie threw her hat on the air, letting her hair flow with the wind. She was laughing madly.

As the trolley reached the bifurcation, she pulled the lever making the trolley move over to Diamond, Silver and Flam. But just as its front half changed rails, Trixie pushed the lever again, making the back half of the trolley to remain on course over Sunset, Gilda, Lightning and Flim's side.

"Multi-track drifting!" Trixie announced with glee as the trolley's wheels screeched madly against the rails, making them shake.

"Nooooo!" Flim and Flam shouted together, deactivating Estocolmo's power and releasing everyone before the trolley hit anyone.

They were back on the empty street outside the bar, either screaming their lungs off, or staring at the starry sky above them."

"How...?" Flam asked. He and his brother were on their knees over the floor, hugging each other.

"I lied," Trixie replied, kneeling in front of them. "I have to admit, I actually believed you when you said we couldn't use our stands inside of Estocolmo." She lifted a finger horizontally, making one of the black fiends materialize out of her skin. "But we could actually use them, as long as it wasn't to interfere with the trolley or its march, right?" Trixie gently caressed the small bat-moth creature.

"But you did!" Flim shouted. "You turned our invincible Estocolmo against us!"

"No, I didn't." she flicked her hand, sending the creature flapping in the air. "But my Night Witches can make very convincing illusions, can't they?" She got up. A small group of fiends surrounded her head, like a crown of fairies.

"You..." Flim tried to say.

"... bitch." Flam finished for his brother.

"Witch," Trixie corrected them. "The most powerful one you will ever meet." She put her hands in front of her, then opened her arm in cross. A new swarm of fiends emerged from her skin, flapping frantically.

"Night Witches!" She shouted. The swarm of little demons converged into a single shape; A tall thin woman with pale skin and wearing a black dress. Her black hair flowed upwards, despite there being no wind, and her eyes covered by a black blindfold.

"It's an illusion," Flim got up, helping his brother up. "You can't fool us twice."

"That's right," Flam got into a combat stance next to his brother. "Now we will make sure you won't scape us." They both started to shout together.

"Estocol--"

"Useless!" Trixie's Night Witches hit both of them with two kicks in quick succession. The stumbled back.

"Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless!" Trixie kept shouting as her stand kicked both brothers continually. "Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless!" The force of the kicks sounded like a magnum shooting.

"Useless!" With a final roundhouse kick catching both of them, the Flim Flam brothers were sent upwards, getting lost into the night sky.

Behind Trixie, Sunset, Gilda, Lightning, Diamond and Silver were back on their feet.

"Trixie--" Gilda was about to say something before being cut off by Trixie tackling and hugging her.

"You guys are alive!" Her voice came out muffled out of her pressing her face against Gilda's shirt. "I was so scared you could get hurt."

"Uh, Trixie?" Sunset put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay!" She finally released Gilda, only to spring at Sunset and hold her in a bear hug instead. "I almost saw all of you die in front of me!" She started to hiccup over Sunset shoulder.

"Wait," Lightning got closer carefully. "Then why did you say you didn't care for us and all that."

"I was bluffing my ass off," Trixie released Sunset. Despite the tears, she was still smiling widely.

"Bluffing?!" Diamond called her out. "You were bluffing with our lives?!"

"I don't know, I panicked," she covered her face with both hands. Silver offered her a handkerchief.

"Then why are you still smiling?!" Gilda shouted out of frustration.

"It's a nervous tic!" Trixie hid her face with the brim of her hat. "I couldn't help it."

"So," Sunset breathed in before continuing. "When you started laughing and taunting."

"I was barely in control of myself." She answered from under her hat. "Night Witches activates by itself when I'm scared." As if on cue, a group of fiends emerged from Trixie's skin again, flapping around their stand master like moths around a flame.

"Alright, no harm no foul, I guess." Lightning put her arm over Trixie's shoulder. "Though, I trusted you would bullshit us out of that one." She pulled Trixie in firmly to reassure her. "So, we all owe you a drink tonight."

"Really?" She lifted her had slowly. They all looked at Sunset, waiting for her approval.

"I mean," Sunset shrugged. "I guess we earned a night of drinking after that." She turned around, gesturing to the tavern down the road.

They slowly walked towards the tavern, slowly leaving behind them the horror they just went through. Later that night, Diamond proposed a play of poker. Though they all expected Trixie to tap out due to all of them knowing her nervous tic, she managed to clean them due to keeping her nervous smile no matter what hand she had. Only Silver read through her bluffs that night, pretty much becoming the richest person in the group by the next morning.

Flim Flam Brothers
Kicked away into the night
-RETIRED-

Author's Note:

Happy Halloween

Behold, the effects of sleeplessness, a year of no writing and just lack of time in general produce. A mismatch of JoJo, Rengoku no Ashe, my personal frustrations with the trolley problem and whatever was playing on shuffle on iTunes.

Thanks to VampDash for his creative consult and saint-like patience.

One-shot edited by Microsoft Word and Microsoft Edge. Any complains on that regard, direct them to Bill Gates.

I could have written and published this a few weeks ago, but I got distracted by drawing them in MS Paint:

---

Now some trivia:

This is the second time I use Neigh Orleans and the Tabaco y Chanel tavern for a story (the first one being Actually, I'm Dead's epilogue). I like using things I already build on different frames. Feels more solid that way.

The original tittle was going to be Ashes to Ashes, like the David Bowie song. then that reminded me of the manga Rengoku no Ashe (from where Trixie's stand comes from). So, I remixed both tittles and reworked it to be a reflection of 'Stardust Crusaders' (the JoJo part I took the base premise from).

The fight between Celestia and Luna was akin to the one between Jonathan Joestar and Dio Brando, with both of them leaving behind the secret of their power. Celestia isn't around anymore.

Something happened forty years ago regarding that secret. Some scholar named Twilight Sparkle was involved, as well as a strange realm known as the Crystal Empire.

---

The stands of the Ash Witches:

Sunset Shimmer - Titoli: The stand is a female gunfighter with six arms, and a Colt .45 on each one. Though they all fire regular bullets, Sunset can control their momentum and trajectory. Like making them spin to pierce a target, go slow enough to simply nudge something without damaging it, or even circle around and hit twice.

Trixie - Night Witches: It can manifest as a swarm of small-winged fiends that emerge from Trixie's skin like a bleeding wound, or as a spectral banshee. The first form can make illusions that can fool machines and even other stands, while the second is a more typical 'punch the problem away' type. Both can activate on their own if Trixie's emotions become too strong.

Gilda - Instruments of Destruction: It manifests as a large metal cannon mounted on Gilda's right arm and a flail on her left one. Both are strong enough to pulverize an elephant in a single shot or hit. Gilda is also creative with them, using the cannon to propel herself into the air, or using the flail's chain to trap an enemy. She can project them into a humanoid form of a chrome woman dressed in gladiator armor.

Lightning Dust - Torero: It manifests into a woman dressed like a feminine Spanish bullfighter armed with a capote (cape) and a long estoc (Spanish sword for bullfighting). She uses the former to goad her enemies into her estoc or use only the later to release a barrage of estocadas (sword strikes).

Diamond Tiara - Hagane no Resistance: A suit of robotic armor that can reconfigure itself in three forms; Poseidon (), slow but virtually indestructible with the ability of generating strong winds. Liger, fast and precise, able to build up speed to pierce any defence with its lance. And Dragon, which is a balance of the strength and speed of the previous two.

Silver Spoon - White Reflection: It also creates a suit of armor but can't reconfigure itself. Instead, it can summon almost any weapon she can think of. She usually uses a scythe and a small shield. But she's been seen conjuring scimitars, naginatas, claws, even a bow and arrow. It also has a pair of wings, making her the only in the group who can fly through her stand.

Comments

[Jojoleopard]

I like what I see. Will you be writing more of these?

[Magenta Cat]

11409925
I'm really glad you liked it.

I'll try to make more one-shots like this, but knowing me, it will have to wait till the next hyper focusing wave.

Though, I did write a retake on Phatom Blood a couple of years ago with Twilight as Jonathan and Trixie as a mix of Dio with Speedwagon, if you're interested:

Weekly updates: Twilight's Steampunk Adventure
Weekly Updates: Twilight's Bizarre Adventure - Chapter(?) Two
Weekly Updates: Twilight's Bizarre Exploits - Episode 3
Weekly Updates: Twilight's Exaggerated Exploits - Chapter 4
Weekly Updates: Twilight's Bizarre Adventure - Chapter 5
Weekly Updates: Twilight's Bizarre Adventure - Chapter 6
Weekly Updates: Twilight's Bizarre Adventure - Chapter 7

[Jojoleopard]

11410539
Thanks for compiling the list for me, I'll be sure to check it out! And I will look forward to more in the future.

[LoveHeart]

This was pretty cool , Flim and Flam need to train their con artist skills before trying to take Trixie on. So as you bring up the Actually, I'm Dead? and it's sequel , are you going to work on I, Monster soonish or is it going to continue being on hiatus for now??

[Magenta Cat]

11429398
Okay, this is not an easy answer, but I'll try to be concise.

On the foreseeable future, probably not. Nightwalker and I don't talk as often as we used to back then, which means we're not really working on it.

But mainly, it's because I'm in a very different place, both mentally and physically. I'd love to go back to I, Monster. There was this whole mythos we wanted to explore with it. But part of my writing process involved starting at 22:00 in the night and going slow and chaotic until 04:00. I don't have the same energy and spare time to do that or anything close to it. Hence why I keep writing these one-shots once in a blue moon.

Overall, again, I, Monster is on Schrödinger's box. I don't want to label it cancelled (one never knows), but I'm not really working on it either. And I'm really sorry for that.

Maybe one day I could write a thematic sequel, or just some blogposts to explore what got left in the inker. You know, as a better writer than me once said, nothing ever ends.

But again, I'm sorry for not continuing either.