• Member Since 16th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 14th, 2023

BrightIdea


E

Her adoptive father killed before her eyes by a mysterious, vicious armored pony, Mage Twilight Sparkle is thrust into the dangers of the Pony Coast as a diamond shortage threatens to spark war between the magnificent port city of Friendship's Gate and Amane. Who is it that wants her dead and wants the land plunged into bloodshed? Does it have to do with who her mother was? The dead goddess Nightmare Moon! Twilight is determined to find some answers but along the way she will face many dangers, most of all knowing who is friend and who is foe.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 7 )

You humble me, sir, by citing me as your inspiration. I wish you success in your writing endeavor: Baldur's Gate is a tough nut to crack, but I think you stepped through the door well.

Good luck and have fun with it!

I like this so far, but you have a habit of often repeating the same word twice in a sentence, which is irritating and rather redundant. As well, there are several grammatical issues that could be easily solved by proofreading - missing commas, minor misspellings, etcetera. If you need a proofreader, I'll happily volunteer. :twilightsmile:

6732 Probably so, its strange I go over it several times and its the grammer issues that escape me. I'll just blame all the Phone Texting, but thanks for the offer and comment nontheless.

Curse you, mobile language! *hoofshake*

I'm glad you weren't offended. I always get worried when I critique things. :twilightblush:

The offer still stands, if you ever feel you need it.

Any plans to continue this story?

You must gather your party before venturing forth.

169411
Yes, yes. I just have been swamped with...playing Star Wars The Old Republic. I have Chapter 2 Ready I just haven't found anyone to edit it.

220063

I plan on breaking the conventional party limit.

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