1: Last Caller of the Night
“Welcome back to Sweet Jazz with the rare delight, Lady Luxury.” The mare’s mellow voice deadened by the magical soundproofing enchantment placed on the room. She spoke clearly and carefully into the microphone, careful not to let her own magical enchantment break. She sat on one of her favourite cushions while occasionally glancing to her side, through the production window where an orange pegasus with purple hair managed the audio equipment.
“Thank you all for tuning in to this show, we love all our supporters and listeners at Equestrian Public Radio. Today, our show will be a bit special. We’re gonna be playing the most romantic jazz you’ve ever heard. From the lovely local Octavia’s sweet songs to the sensual songs of Alexio Andante. Phones are also open for anyone looking to talk about love. We’re all waiting to hear from you, but first, a song special to my heart.”
Lady Luxury took off her headphones and let her concentration drop as she took a sip of water, pinching her pale pink and purple hair to her neck. She did her best not to spill a drop on her alabaster white coat, while watching the song timer tick down. Three minutes until we’re on again.
“Great start sweetie, We’ve already got some callers.” Scootaloo’s scratchy voice filled the small recording booth as she gave her longtime friend a wide smile through the glass. “You want me to screen them or are you feeling lucky with this bunch tonight.”
“We better screen them. Don’t want any weirdos on our big love show.” Luxury dropped the spell altering her voice, her naturally high pitched tone returning as she took a moment to cool off between broadcasts. Luxury was a mystery to many of her listeners, a character or a facade no one was able to crack. No one yet had put together that in fact, Lady Luxury was the former Cutie Mark Crusader, Sweetie Belle.
After finishing up her time in the local schoolhouse, Sweetie was on the cutting edge of a technological revolution in music. She had been watching the development of not only a new method of listening to all your favourite music, but a new industry about to hit it big. She was on the ground floor of EPR, a program part of the royal cultural initiatives. Starting as an audio engineer, when a slot opened up in the schedule for a weekend night show, she jumped on the opportunity.
Scootaloo came later, after Sweetie Belle came up with the premise. A secret radio host who would host a jazz music block just after sunset. But to keep a secret, she would need someone close to her, someone who wouldn’t spill who was behind Lady Luxury. Apple bloom was busy back at the farm, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had gone off to Canterlot for further education, which left just Scootaloo, an upstart jack of all trades who’s carpentry work allowed her the time to join Sweetie’s production.
From study, to love, to just plain conversation, Sweetie provided. Every night, the phones opened and listeners could ask her anything. However some nights like tonight, Sweetie and Scootaloo would organize something special for their audience, themed nights where Sweetie would offer advice to the callers.
Ever since the beginning of the ‘advice nights’, one of her top requested topics was love. Over and over, ponies called in asking when a romance night would happen, and tonight was the night.
Scootaloo flipped through pony after pony, listening to their problems and screening to make sure there weren’t any trolls on the other end. “Okay, so line 1 is a stallion looking for first date advice, line 2 is a mare who’s gotten into a relationship with a much younger stallion, 3 is some dude asking to marry you, so is 4…”
“Let’s start off with number 1. That one seems easy enough.” Sweetie says as she flips her headphones back on and begins to cast her voice changer spell. “Testing Testing. La la la la la.” She presses the button on the mic just as the song ends and she is connected to the mare on the other end of the line. “Good evening, you’re on the air with Lady Luxury. How may I be of assistance tonight?”
***
It was a long night. Not just in the normal sense that the show ran past midnight, but answering so many questions was always hard. One or two simple questions for advice, that was fine, But dozens over a few hours, that was exhausting. As the calls slowed down, the breaks between conferences became longer and longer as more and more jazz hit the airwave.
It was relaxing. Nothing too formal, and nothing too casual. She could feel the smooth jazzy tones putting her to sleep, but her job wasn’t done yet. Whenever she wasn’t chatting with a caller, or introducing the next song, she was talking with Scootaloo discussing what to do next.
“No calls on the line right now, but we’re getting close to the end. There will probably be a few more at the last minute as usual.” Scootaloo told Sweetie as she preened her wing idly as the downtime ticked past. “Sorry about that last one, they said they were just interested in how to make a mare happy, I didn’t expect it to be happy in that way.”
“Yeah, no worries. As long as we shut them down when they come up, the station doesn’t mind.” A few times something similar had happened before. Someone looking to either prank the station by talking about adult content, or maybe someone so desperate they’d share everything on live radio. EPR tried to be safe for all ages, even at this late in the night, but a caller or two slipping through wouldn’t matter too much at this hour.
“Yeah, but the show already has a strike on that front.”
“For what it’s worth, that night was pretty wild.” Sweetie said as she thought back to the night they learned the station’s boundaries, dedicating the night to talking about the princesses’ scandal when it was exposed that the monthly summit of princesses was just an excuse to have royal foursomes, or more when they occasionally invited others to join.
The two laughed, both remembering the night as the song timer ticked down. Sweetie had to get back to the show. By this point in the show, it was easy for sweetie belle to slip in and out of her magical voice. She did her quick sound check before pressing the button on her mic.
“Well wasn’t that just lovely. The kind of track that would just be perfect for a slow dance under the stars. Or the kind that makes you want to just grab a nice cup of tea and snuggle up by the fire. Now, we are going to close out the show shortly, but we should have time for one last caller. Our phone is waiting. Now, how about one final local song…”
Time passed as Scootaloo checked over the last few calls, just as expected a surge just as the show was closing out. Taking the time to stretch out and get ready to head home after this was done.
Finally, just before the song ended, Scootaloo piped up. “Oh, I think I found one you’re gonna love.”
“Yeah, what’s it about?”
“It’s a surprise to close out the night.”
“Okay, but if I have to cut them off, I’m throwing you under the bus to Ms. Scratch.” Sweetie says as she puts on the headphones again.
Switching to her deeper voice, she begins. “Good evening caller. Congratulations on being the last voice of the night. Now what situation were you looking for advice about?”
The voice on the other end of the line was crackly, almost unsure of what they were saying, while also clearly trying to disguise their voice. However the voice was unique enough to start something in Sweetie’s mind. Maybe they had been a previous caller.
“Hi Lady Luxury, I’ve listened to your show for a while now but I’ve never actually made it through.”
That possibility was gone. Maybe someone from ponyville, someone she went to school with? Sweetie interjected in the pause, “It’s always nice to hear a new voice on the show, especially for such a special show.”
“Yeah, that’s why I phoned in. You see, for years and years, I have been in love with this beautiful pony, one of the most beautiful ponies I’d ever met. Pure white fur and eyes like the tas- I mean, the most brilliant aquamarine. It was love at first sight. But after years of friendship, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that she isn’t interested in me.”
“Well sounds like you’ve already got this all figured out.” The situation sounded familiar, but unlike anything she had heard today. Maybe further back.
“Yeah, she’s out of my league and I think I’ve moved on. The problem now is I think I’ve fallen in love with her little sister…”
It all clicked at that moment. Where she knew the voice from and why the situation was so familiar. It had been someone she had known about since she was a filly, and became much closer with later in life. Someone who had a crush on her big sister since the day they met. The assistant to Princess Twilight, Spike the dragon.
Following Twilight’s ascension to the throne, following the establishment of the friendship brigade, Twilight’s own detachment of guards, Spike was practically out of the job. Technically he was a prince through adoption, but that didn’t mean much to the people, especially considering he was a dragon. Last time Sweetie had seen him, Spike was setting off to Las Pegasus to start a year of free time, gifted to him by Twilight. That was about a year ago.
But here he was, calling about his failed attempts at a relationship with Rarity, and seeking advice from the person who he was trying to court.
The seconds ticked by as Sweetie sat in shock. Scootaloo, through the window, gestured to keep going, an extremely wide grin on her face as she knew exactly what she was doing to one of her best friends.
“Hello? Still there?” Spike asked, his own practical fake voice faltering. One of the many reasons Sweetie used this magical fake voice.
She shook her head as she recovered from the surprise. “Yes, I was waiting to see if you had any more details about this little sister.”
“Sure, yeah. We’re uh, about the same age. I’m pretty sure she’s a year or two older than me still. We met shortly after I moved into town and I started spending time with her sister. She is a lot like her sister in many ways, but… I don’t know, maybe I’m just trying to use her as another in with her sister, but I don’t think that’s the case.”
“So then you truly love this little sister then?”
There was a pause as Spike went silent. It took a few moments, but he gave a response. “I- Yes, I love S- Her little sister.”
What was he going to say? He was definitely going to say that he loved her, Sweetie Belle, the mare behind Lady Luxury. He was going to say it, Sweetie just knew it. “Well if you love her, give it a shot. Take your chance and see if she likes you back.”
“But what if she doesn’t? What if she ignores me like her sister did? What if she rejects the advances right out of the gate?”
“Like we’ve said many times on this show tonight, the worst that can happen is rejection. And rejection isn’t the worst outcome in the world.” Sweetie had to try not to stumble over herself as she just told a close friend to ask her out. “You’ve said you’ve known her for years already. When was the last time you saw her?”
“About a year ago. I went on a long trip around Equestria while I was coming to terms with my failure with the big sister. That’s when I realized my feelings for her. But I’m coming back in to town later this week and I’m hoping to do something then.”
Sweetie took a moment to really consider how to answer, wondering if her own advice would be followed and used on herself. “Okay, then there’s a few things you could do, but I think this would get her attention the most. When you get back, test the waters. Invite her to hang out and catch up, somewhere nice like an old hangout place. If that goes well, arrange another meeting, somewhere more private. Take your time, don’t rush it, but if you still love her by the end of that date, ask her the question.”
The show was near silent save for the sounds of the dragon hastily writing down the advice. Glancing up at the clock above her, she noticed just how close to the end of her shift it was. She needed to wrap things up before the next show could come in. Spike continued, “Okay, what do you recommend for that date?”
“I’m sorry caller, but we’re out of time for tonight. But I’ll tell you what. What’s your name caller?”
“Sp- Smith.”
“Okay Smith, I’ll tell my producer to let you through if you call back. I’m interested in how this goes.”
“Okay. I’ll call back if everything goes well.”
“Lovely, thanks for calling.”
Sweetie passes the line back to scootaloo, taking a deep breath as she only now realized how hard her heart was pumping, how rapid the rhythm of her body had become. Deep breath. Deep breath. Calm.
“What an interesting situation to close out the show. We’re gonna send you off with a personal favorite of mine, dedicated to that lovely caller who ran out of time, Smith. One final romantic jazz piece to end the night. This is Lady Luxury, signing off.”
She hit the button to cut her mic before hitting the button to play the song. She wanted to get up, to ask Scootaloo why she put her in this awkward position, but she couldn’t. That last few minutes of conversation drained her more than any other show ever had. She just sat there and thought.
“Pretty great way to end the night right?” Scootaloo asked over the intercom while setting up a short playlist for between the two radio segments. “Seemed like the perfect way to end the show to me.”
Finally, Sweetie rose from her seat and marched over to the door, a blush completely covering her face as her magical voice dropped. Swinging the door open, she was ready to throw hooves. “Scoots! What the heck? Why would you do that? Do you know how embarrassing that was?”
Scootaloo just laughed as she saw how red her friend had become. “Come on, just a little fun to cap off our first romance segment. From the sounds of it, you may get a practical lesson on your romance advice.”
“That was Spike asking about how to romance me. How is that funny?”
“Shh, shhh shhh shhh. Sweetie, relax. If he doesn’t take the advice, then you can make a move, but if he does, you could finally get some practical romance experience.” Scootaloo casually suggested as she pulled her own headphones off and stood from her cushion. “I know you’ve been dateless since we were twelve. That’s one of the reasons we held off on doing one of these romantic advice nights, isn’t it?”
“Hmm, I guess you’re right.” Sweetie pondered as she paced back and forth. “I mean, it’s Spike. He’s a dragon, he’s been a great friend for years and years, he’s always smiley, and he knows how to cook and clean and take care of anything.”
“Not to mention dragons are fucking hung.” Scootaloo jokes as she slings her saddlebags over her back and joins Sweetie for their walk out of the building. “Maybe you’ll finally lose your V card with him.”
“I’m no virgin, you know that!”
“Crusader sleepovers don’t count.”
Sweetie deflated, completely ready to remind Scoots of their club activities, but already getting shot down.
“Hehe, yeah.” Scootaloo pushes the door open for the two of them as they make their way down the quiet post-midnight streets down to central Ponyville. As the duo walk by Sugarcube Corner, almost at the Carousel Boutique, Scootaloo asks, “So, you gonna give him a shot?”
Sweetie wasn’t ready to answer that. There was so much flipping through her mind, both past memories of the days spent with Spike, the times that he had joined the crusaders for whatever wacky adventure they used to go on, or the rarer, more intimate moments of just the two of them. Way back when they were foals when Spike was too nervous to dance but Sweetie convinced him to join her. The many Flying lessons with Scootaloo where she and Spike talked while Scootaloo tried and eventually succeeded in flying. That final night when the crusaders and Spike went on a wild drinking spree in the clubhouse and almost missed his train. That soft, hungover hug as they wished each other goodbye, the way his cool, scaled chest pressed to her warm, fluffy fur, the way it lasted longer than any other crusader, or even pony that showed up to wish him farewell, the way they looked in each other's eyes as the last call started. The way something more might have happened in their half drunk state if not for that last call.
“I will, if he wants to. But if he decides it was just a phase, then I won’t press the matter. He seemed really nervous when he called in, and I don’t want him to worry about it if he’s not gonna make a move.”
“Sounds about right. But don’t if things go too long, I could always leak out who the real Lady Luxury is.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.”
The two laughed as they waved goodbye. Scootaloo walked home, preferring to take things a bit slower at this time of night, while Sweetie walked upstairs to her bedroom. She took a peek into Rarity’s workshop to see if her sister was still up, but Rarity had long since worked herself to sleep. She magically pulled a blanket from the cupboard and draped it over her sister before crawling into her own bed and thinking, restlessly turning as she considered what would happen with Spike.
***
Spike was laying on a royal sized mattress in the guest wing of the princesses’ Canterlot castle, staring up at the ceiling as Lady Luxury’s final song of the night played. The private phone line wired into the room hung by his side, a dial tone buzzing back at him. He barely knew why he called in to the show tonight, but he couldn’t shake the thrill and the embarrassment of it.
A year ago on his birthday, his boss and adoptive sister Twilight gave him the year off. She bought him a train ticket to Las Pegasus and an allowance to do anything he wanted for the year. What at first thrilled Spike slowly became a wallow of self pity as he came to terms with his first crush never reciprocating his affection. His nights became tiring as he lost contact with his friends back home, bouncing from place to place without any consistent number. He still got weekly letters from Twilight, but since dragon-mail become more common, twilight was dealing with a constant barrage of both important messages and spam.
But one night, after a long night at a dance club trying to find someone to share the night with to no success, he tuned his bedroom radio to EPR.
The dulcet, smooth voice of Lady Luxury had calmed him, letting him relax as the station flipped between relaxing music and the host’s casual chatter. As the broadcast closed out with a reminder to tune in next weekend, Spike knew he had a new favourite weekend activity.
It wasn’t long after while he was making a stop in the dragon lands that he started to realized where his new affections lay. After talking with Ember about his love life, Ember reminded him of Rarity’s sister. Though the two had only met briefly on one of her diplomatic excursions, she remembered Spike and the girl were quite close friends.
He laughed it off at the time, claiming Sweetie was just a friend and that he was just starting to get over Rarity, and not trying to get with her sister.
But after that seed was planted, spike slowly remembered all the good times he’d had with Sweetie. The adventures, the parties, and that goodbye at the train station… He denied it for weeks, while weeks turned to months, until finally, tonight, learning what Lady Luxury’s show would be, he was entranced and needed to call.
He glanced down at the note, hoping Luxury’s advice would work. With a sigh, he rolled on to his chest and let the jazz rock him to sleep.
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Oh yeah, I love it! You got the talent!
Before I read, I saw a mistake on the info panel.
Just two-word mistakes.
Ayo what the…
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Very creative name. 10 points for spike for creativity.
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Ok let’s not look at that. I really like the chapter, and definitely an idea for the story. That thing with radio is creative, idk if I saw this anywhere. The whole thing with “incognito mode for Sweetie Belle” is also very unique. Good job on this chapter
I rate this chapter 8,5/10
DISCLAIMER: I only rate by my personal opinion. I don’t want you to I think, that I want to make you feel bad. I hope you understand :)
11384147
Thanks, I'll fix those, I wrote the description real quick between classes and didn't go over it a second time
11384152
A brief tangent about something from the first draft. When I decided to lower the age rating, I scratched the original discussion and just gave a little summary. I like making raunchy stories so, yeah.
Thanks for the good words. 8.5 is respectable, and I'll work for that 9.
That was a interesting story goodluck with the rest of it.
11384221
i'm sure, that you write a really good story (which it will be i hope) it can be 10/10
Heh
Hey Spike, why don’t you name yourself John Doe?
Such a sneaky little trick Scoots played on her CMC bestfriend. Scootaloo's little comment about 'CMC sleepovers not counting' ... and the 'real' reason Princesses have a summit ... Bow-chicka-wowow!!
Kind of awkward after since Caddy is Tia's adoptive niece and what does Shiny have to say or is he stuck watching Flurry?
11384155
So… when is the next chapter going to be released?
11385637
At the pace I'm writing, hopefully by monday, assuming school doesn't screw me over. Why is engineering math so hard
I've been looking for a story to read before I fully get back into things, and this looks fun.
I'm enjoying it so far. Good job!
This reminded me of that one Disney channel movie, Radio Rebel, with how Sweetie is disguising her true identity under an alias. Great work on this, I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes.
I'm ngl I never liked the spike X sweetie bell ship. I get sloppy seconds/ settling for the younger sister vibes.
It can work, but I'm wary
11385643
Feel you on school doesn’t screw me over part.
This honestly was really good writing in my book so no problems there. As for it being Sweetie, my personal preference is Rarity, but if that was a no then Sweetie would be my choice for Spike. Overall I find it very good
11385503
What?! Princess summit?! I must have missed that....
Ah yes, the perfect fake name that sounds totally natural.