• Published 29th Sep 2022
  • 1,075 Views, 17 Comments

Prench Art Film - EileenSaysHi



Lyra and Bon-Bon find their somewhat risqué entry into Canterlot High's film festival is facing some tough questions from the review board.

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"This Chapter is Cinema" – Maretin Scorcalabrese

“Thank you both for coming. We just wanted to talk to you about your submission.”

“Yeah, I’m confused. What’s there to talk about, exactly? You already rejected it.”

Next to her, Bon-Bon had already taken a seat. They were at the back wall of one of Canterlot High’s computer labs, the same one that doubled as the yearbook production room. Across from them, the four members of the CHS Audio/Visual Club review panel were sitting on stools around the large counter in the center of the room, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

But Lyra, annoyed at the whole affair, was still standing, arms folded. They’d already been told their film wasn’t going to be included in the Canterlot High Student Film Festival – had they been summoned just to be told exactly why it was awful and unworthy?

Her eyes scanned across the group of students that had already made the judgment call they were supposedly here to discuss. Flash Sentry, Micro Chips, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle. All they normally do in this club is set up equipment and press buttons, Lyra mused. What do they even know about actual cinema, anyway?

“Lyra…” Flash, who’d given the initial greeting, spoke again. “It’s our policy here at the club to, ah, discuss all the submissions to the festival with their creators. It’s always important for us to be able to provide feedback to…what was the phrase? Oh right, uh, budding creative minds.”

“Brilliantly rehearsed,” Lyra grumbled. She felt Bon-Bon gently grab and pull on her wrist, and reluctantly sat down in a chair next to her. She looked over, and saw her girlfriend staring back, pleading with her eyes for Lyra to calm down. Reluctantly, she obliged, taking a deep breath before proceeding.

“So did you want us to start, or…”

“Well,” Flash replied. “We’d like to hear some thoughts from you, to begin with. It’d be nice to hear your personal perspective on, uh, Reines de L'échiquier.”

It took an incredible amount of willpower for Lyra not to respond with a holler of WHY???. What was with this charade? Why did they feel the need to drag this out so much?

There were a number of responses Lyra formulated in her head, most of which involved explaining to the judges various orifices of their bodies in which they could shove it. What the “it” that they were shoving was wasn’t especially important, though they could probably start with the ridiculous mispronunciation of the film’s title. But before she could think of an actually appropriate response, however, she heard Bon-Bon start to speak, in a much more measured, if evidently still uncomfortable, tone than Lyra could have achieved.

“To begin, um, thank you all very much for watching and considering our movie for this festival. This movie… well, 7-minute short, anyway, but still, this was something that we’d been interested in making for some time, in a way, and the festival was a good reason for us to do it for real." She paused and took a breath. "There was... some stuff I was nervous about, at first, but Lyra was really passionate, and I just started to feel a lot of that excitement too. It was… bold, it was unique, it was something we didn’t think anyone else would do, so we just did it. We went for it. Just the two of us, with some neat compositing for shots where we’re both onscreen. But we shot it together, we edited it together, and we were both thrilled with how it turned out.”

Flash and the rest of the panel nodded.

“And, well…” Bon-Bon paused, visibly hesitating. Lyra was perplexed for a moment, before she suddenly realized what her girlfriend was about to say. She lifted her hands, but couldn’t start frantically waving them in time to stop her from saying it.

“I understand we may have gone too far for the panel’s tastes.”

Now it was Lyra’s turn to start tugging on Bon-Bon’s wrist. “Bonnieeeee…” she whispered as thoughts raced through her head. Don’t apologize for the movie, Bonnie! It’s not our fault they’re wimps who couldn’t handle it!

Bon-Bon, however, simply retracted her arm away and continued. The panel sat quietly as Lyra reluctantly looked forward towards them.

“I’ll admit that a movie that’s entirely focused on two people sitting quietly and playing chess indoors may not be the most exciting film to feature.” She paused. “Especially when they don’t talk. And all their thoughts are presented in Prench.”

This finally got an interjection from the panel, namely Micro Chips. “With no subtitles,” he added.

“Right… no subtitles,” Bon-Bon said, with a small blush.

What were they expecting? Some Canter Zoom blockbuster? Lyra sulked internally, putting a concerted amount of effort into maintaining a neutral expression.

“And these are all points of the movie I’d like to defend, if you’ll allow me,” Bon Bon went on. “But I do recognize that this may have made the film somewhat unapproachable… along with the cinematography…”

“The black-and-white format with frequent tight close-ups?” Twilight inquired.

“Yes, that. And probably the costuming choice as well.”

Oh, Lyra thought. I guess there’s also that part of it…

The panel was silent as Lyra’s hands clenched, nails digging into skin as she braced for the next sentence.

Pinkie Pie broke the stillness in the air by loudly whispering in Twilight’s direction. “Is she talking about how they were both naked in the movie?”

Lyra turned toward Bon-Bon and saw her girlfriend’s face go bright red.

“I believe so, Pinkie,” Twilight replied.

“I guess I’ll start with that, then,” Bon-Bon said, swallowing audibly. “Firstly, um, I assume I don’t have to explain that Lyra and I are both of age. 18, that is. Or that we were very careful in shooting and editing to make sure that nothing inappropriate appeared onscreen. Hence, well, all the tight close-ups on faces, shots focused on the board, some tasteful blurring, etc. No nipples, no genitals, no butts; lots of faces and backsides.”

The panel was quiet.

“I was hesitant about the idea, initially. Not least because I knew the chairs we’d be sitting on would not be comfy like that, and believe me, ah, they weren’t. But Lyra felt, and I now agree, that it was important to be able to portray the vulnerability of the situation.”

Bon-Bon briefly looked towards Lyra. Initially, her face bore and awkward, uncertain look, but, after a moment, a warm smile graced it, before it turned back towards the front of the room.

“To us,” she went on, “the movie is about love, and how, like chess, love is a game of visible moves controlled by invisible thoughts and impulses. You, um, make each move, knowing a certain number of outcomes are possible, and, in order to make the right moves, you have to know who you’re playing the game with. How… how they’ll react. And there’s so much exposure involved in that, so, um, we thought that having ourselves visually exposed in that, well, way would help convey that.”

By now, Lyra's initial anger had fully given way to surprise, and she was staring at Bon-Bon, dumbfounded. She’s actually selling this to them… and she’s really good at it too…

“Wait, though,” Flash cut in. “This is about chess, though. And chess is a game of war; you win by defeating your adversary. So how do you apply that to love?”

“Ummmm…” Bon-Bon paused briefly before responding; when she did, her tone had become stronger, more forceful. “Because the stakes of the game aren’t what’s important in the movie. You never see who wins, because that’s not what love is. Love isn’t victory, it’s understanding. The pieces on the board are just expressions of the understanding that these characters have for each other. It’s not the fact that my character took Lyra’s queen that it’s important, it’s how I was able to get to that point. The way we look at each other in that scene is far more important than the pieces on the board.”

She’s doing great, Lyra mused, thoughts and ideas racing through her head. But I can’t let her do it alone!

Now it was Twilight Sparkle entering the discussion. “But if love is built on that kind of complexity, then why present the movie in black-and-white, with a game that traditionally uses black and white pieces?”

“Ah! Ah!” Lyra’s hand shot into the air as she realized she knew exactly what to contribute. “Because it’s deceptive! You can’t take that lack of color literally there! People think of love as this simple thing, and view it in all these black and white terms because of how minimalistically they see it. The complexity is something that you have to perceive yourself, to look beyond what the camera is telling you.”

“And chess, well, lots of people think they can play chess,” Bon-Bon added, taking over once again. “But even if you think you know the rules, there’s a steep learning curve. Maybe you have a talent for it and get lucky, but otherwise you’ll have to fail and fail again to understand it.”

The panel members nodded.

“That’s super-neat and stuff, but why is it in Prench?” Pinkie asked.

Bon-Bon, the nerves having long faded from her voice, responded calmly and coolly, with clear, measured thought. “The specific choice of language was a tribute to some of our cinematic inspirations – directors like Godardennais and Truffaugeron – but the idea to simply have it in a foreign language, untranslated, was a way to convey just how inscrutable love can be, and how even you yourself might not truly be able to understand yourself, or why you’re doing the things you do.”

The panelists nodded again, then faced each other and began muttering. After a moment passed, Lyra and Bon-Bon looked at each other and grinned.

“Bet they thought we’d roll right over,” Lyra whispered.

Bon-Bon beamed. “Think they might add us to the lineup after all?”

“I’m not getting my hopes up, but you never know…”

They learned forward and clasped each other's hands, soft squeaks of excitement escaping their lips.

Lyra could hear some scuffing of shoes as the panelists rearranged their seats; the two of them pulled back and turned to face the front of the room, just in time to meet their eyes.

“Now, before we wrap up,” he began, “we wanted to each provide some thoughts on Reines de L'échiquier. I’ll start off with, um…” He cleared his throat and shuffled through a small stack of papers, evidently trying to find some notes. After a moment, he gave up and looked back at her and Bon-Bon.

“Anyway, I’ll start simply by saying that, well, I thought it was bold, a little bit visionary and, like you said, definitely unlike anything else that was submitted. Some of the camerawork was a bit, ah, disorienting, but I guess that makes sense since you had to be careful to avoid putting” – Lyra could see he was somewhat squirming in his seat – “too much of yourselves on screen...”

Clearly all too eager to wrap things up, Flash motioned to the rest of the panel. Micro Chips took over.

“I guess I can’t really argue about the metaphorical implications you described just now, but I did want to note a few things I observed. At one point, I couldn’t help but notice Lyra’s remaining knight had moved a space to the left between shots, which shouldn’t be possible in one move. Now, maybe this was meant to be symbolic of the confusion of love in some way, but to me it seemed more like a technical error.”

Lyra’s brows furrowed as he continued.

“I also noticed at least one instance where there’s a small shift in Bon-Bon’s hairstyle between shots, which then changes back in the next. It’s a subtle error, but one that didn’t seem like an intentional choice. There’s a few other notes I could give, but given everyone around me now seems to be looking rather annoyed in my direction, I believe I’ll yield the floor.”

Before Lyra could have any further thoughts, Pinkie Pie immediately leapt up and took over.

“Well, I just wanted to say that I thought this movie was great! I thought it was so cool the way you both really put yourselves out there and found a weird but cool way to do a love metaphor, which is a really tired concept most of the time but watching it in this movie it was really awesome and felt new! All the camera tricks you used are really neat and now I kinda want to see how you made a lot of this stuff! But I guess there’s probably not a lot of behind the scenes footage since you’d be naked in all of it. Oh and speaking of nudity, I know you probably felt nervous talking to us about that, but you shouldn’t, because it totally fit in the movie and the way it tied into all the themes you’ve been talking about was really clever! Anyway you should be really proud!”

Pinkie sat back down, beaming, as Lyra blushed furiously; it took just a quick glance in Bon-Bon’s direction to see she was doing likewise.

Twilight followed Pinkie’s lead in standing up, though with much less energy and enthusiasm.

“So, I’ll begin by saying that I definitely agree that you’ve made a good film. It’s clearly something deeply personal – even if I didn’t know the two of you were together, it’d be obvious here. It’s not just a movie about love, it’s a movie about your love, and it’s a beautiful thing. You’ve made something that is quite well-crafted, and from the heart. So I really am sorry when I say that we can’t play this at the festival.”

Bon-Bon’s sigh was almost as loud as Lyra’s own.

“I know it’s disappointing to hear,” Twilight went on, “but, while we didn’t specifically state it in the rules list we put out, we do have a blanket ban on nudity for the festival. We didn’t think to include it in the list since, in most cases, it would fall under the ban on obscene content, and anyone younger than you wouldn’t even be allowed to film it to begin with. But you did take care to avoid obscenity in the filmmaking, so this was a bit of an edge case. But we can’t play it, and, even if we could, I’m… not sure it’d be in your best interest if we did so.”

She paused. “I need a moment. I feel like I’m saying this all wrong.”

Bon-Bon spoke up. “We get it, Twilight. It’s nudity. Even if there’s nothing in it that would get an adult rating, it still wouldn’t sound good at all if the school is showing underage kids a movie with two naked girls.”

Twilight nodded. “Especially when it’s something student-made. When parents hear stuff like that secondhand, they assume the worst. I’m, well, kinda speaking from some experience here.”

Lyra’s head tilted slightly. Twilight swallowed before going on.

“When I first transferred to Canterlot High, most of you knew who I was and, um, recognized what caused the incident at the Games. And I’m still grateful. But, well… a lot of parents weren’t so understanding. What they were hearing was that the… thing that attacked the school was now getting to attend classes there. And a lot of them were angry.”

Lyra recalled that her fathers had been among those parents, despite her clarifications.

“It was scary, for a little while. We even got a few letters at home that were pretty unsettling. Eventually, things calmed down, but I still get some pretty dirty looks from parents now and then. And I really, really don’t want anything like that to happen to anyone else. Definitely not either of you. I know this movie isn’t comparable to, well, that, but…” She trailed off.

“I understand,” Lyra replied.

“Me too,” Bon-Bon added.

There was a brief silence.

After a moment, Twilight perked up. “But there’s some good news, too!”

Flash stood up. “Since you are both 18, we realized that you’d be eligible to submit your movie to some local film festivals that aren’t affiliated with the school, and there’s actually a decent number in the area within the next few months.”

“I put together a list of events with a short film category that are coming up soon,” Twilight added. “I’ll send you an email with it after I get home today.”

“And you’d definitely get picked!” Pinkie interjected, jumping out of her seat again. “They’d have to pick you, because it’s great! And if they don’t, they’ll answer to me,” she added, her face contorting into a dark glare.

The rest of the panel looked wide-eyed at her.

“What?” she asked, her face brightening up again. “I just meant I’d petition on their behalf!”

Twilight nodded. “Uh huh. Well, anyway–”

Or did I…?”

Twilight shot a quick look back at Pinkie, who sheepishly sat back down, before turning back to Lyra and Bon-Bon. “Anyway, we’d really like to thank you for making this and submitting it to us. We, well, we really appreciate all the hard work you put in, and we’re sorry we can’t showcase your movie. But we wish you the best of luck in whatever competition it ends up in.”

Flash nodded. “I think that about wraps things up.”

Over the course of the next minute, Lyra and Bon-Bon both stood up and made their way to the hallway, shaking hands with (or, in one particular curly-haired case, being tackle-hugged by) some of the panelists on their way out. Once they were most of the way to the school’s front exit, Lyra finally spoke.

“Well that was something, wasn’t it?”

“Definitely not what I was expecting.”

“Didn’t really change anything. I guess now we know we’re just getting censored instead of rejected.”

“Lyra…”

“I know, I know, I’m not blaming Twilight or any of them. I believe them when they say they’re disappointed too.” She looked Bon-Bon in the eyes. “I guess we could probably look into those other festivals…”

Bon-Bon nodded. “I’d love to. Bon-Bon and Lyra, stars of the festival circuit!”

Lyra giggled as they pushed open the front doors and stepped outside the building. They sat down at the top of the steps and leaned in for a quick kiss.

“Besides,” Bon-Bon laughed as they pulled back, “we got them to talk about how much they liked our naked Prench chess movie.”

Lyra snickered. “I cannot believe some of that stuff you made up in there. ‘Love is a game of visible moves, controlled by invisible thoughts and impulses!’” She made sure to add some exaggerated arm movements alongside the imitation.

“That’s not what I sounded like! And I meant every word regardless of whether or not I was making it up on the spot! It’s our movie, it can have whatever themes we want!”

Now Lyra was outright cackling. “Oh don’t get me wrong, I did the same thing. ‘You can’t take that lack of color literally! Blah blah blah’...”

“As if it wasn’t just because we thought it looked cool.”

“Bonnie, have you ever even seen a Godardennais film?”

“Neither have you!”

“Point.” Lyra smirked. “If only Micro Chips knew exactly what we were doing between takes that messed your hair up in that one shot…”

And the two of them laughed together for a solid minute as they scooted next to each other and rode out the giggles in a tight embrace.

Comments ( 17 )

Lyra recalled that her fathers had been among those parents, despite her clarifications.

Delightfully subtle.

This is a good story! Totally something I could see them doing, too.

There’s a few other notes I could give, but given everyone around me now seems to be looking rather annoyed in my direction, I believe I’ll yield the floor.”

No one likes a nitpicker, Micro Chips.

But, well… a lot of parents weren’t so understanding. What they were hearing was that the… thing that attacked the school was now getting to attend classes there. And a lot of them were angry.

After Sunset, I'm not sure whether I'd expect more or fewer parents to be upset by Twilight's enrollment.

Lovely bit of fluff, leavened by some fascinating meditation on the nature of art. And how useful it can be as a smokescreen for what you actually had in mind. Let's just hope none of the local festival judges can actually speak Prench... Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.

*shrugs*
At least they're eighteen.

This was a great story. Next up, Lyra and Bon Bon decide to channel Stanley Kubrick with their own version if Eyes Wide Shut.

Also, obligatory:

Ah, the Art of the Bullshit. A critical life skill. Well learned, you two hooligans.

Heh. Thank you for this.

11378693
If the truth that she was bullied and blackmailed into doing what she did was known, it might have helped. Some parents wouldn't care no matter what though.

Honestly don't know what to make of this story. i can sort of believe Lyra and Bon Bon might make some kind of film like this, though personally I'm honestly surprised they thought they'd get it through.

Though wait did they mean ANY of that artsy nonsense they were spouting or did the just make a 7 minute chess movie to see if they could get away with the whole being naked thing, while also possibly using the situation as some kind of weird exhibitionist kink?

This story accurately reflects my opinion of scholarly film theory. Or do I just think that because I'm applying my own biases to the text? Argh, no -- I'm getting sucked in!

Good job pulling one over on your peers, Bon Bon and Lyra.

Alternate title: The Teens' Gambit

Saw the unofficial prequel in my feed and just had to read this first. Not sure what I expected, but I really enjoyed it. [Insert obligatory joke about a banana taped to a wall.]

11378693
Darn it, now you've got me wondering what they actually said. Aaand there goes my mind, straight to the nearest gutter. Stupid internet...

"This Chapter is Cinema" – Maretin Scorcalabrese

the awful double pun ponified name is a great start!

All they normally do in this club is set up equipment and press buttons, Lyra mused. What do they even know about actual cinema, anyway?

so true it is all too rare to find those who truly appreciate high art

“Well,” Flash replied. “We’d like to hear some thoughts from you, to begin with. It’d be nice to hear your personal perspective on, uh, Reines de L'échiquier.”

already love the film based on just the title

Now it was Lyra’s turn to start tugging on Bon-Bon’s wrist. “Bonnieeeee…” she whispered as thoughts raced through her head. Don’t apologize for the movie, Bonnie! It’s not our fault they’re wimps who couldn’t handle it!

can’t have a LyraBon without the Lyra saying “Bonnieeeeeee” with a dragging whine

“I’ll admit that a movie that’s entirely focused on two people sitting quietly and playing chess indoors may not be the most exciting film to feature.” She paused. “Especially when they don’t talk. And all their thoughts are presented in Prench.”

love it even more

What were they expecting? Some Canter Zoom blockbuster? Lyra sulked internally, putting a concerted amount of effort into maintaining a neutral expression.

so true the masses love their genre films

Pinkie Pie broke the stillness in the air by loudly whispering in Twilight’s direction. “Is she talking about how they were both naked in the movie?”

and what’s wrong with that? it is very normal in pony culture!

“To us,” she went on, “the movie is about love, and how, like chess, love is a game of visible moves controlled by invisible thoughts and impulses. You, um, make each move, knowing a certain number of outcomes are possible, and, in order to make the right moves, you have to know who you’re playing the game with. How… how they’ll react. And there’s so much exposure involved in that, so, um, we thought that having ourselves visually exposed in that, well, way would help convey that.”

so true, no further questions from me

“Wait, though,” Flash cut in. “This is about chess, though. And chess is a game of war; you win by defeating your adversary. So how do you apply that to love?”

ugh what a basic take on the meaning of chess! disappointed in Flash

“I guess I can’t really argue about the metaphorical implications you described just now, but I did want to note a few things I observed. At one point, I couldn’t help but notice Lyra’s remaining knight had moved a space to the left between shots, which shouldn’t be possible in one move. Now, maybe this was meant to be symbolic of the confusion of love in some way, but to me it seemed more like a technical error.”

neeeeeerd

“I also noticed at least one instance where there’s a small shift in Bon-Bon’s hairstyle between shots, which then changes back in the next. It’s a subtle error, but one that didn’t seem like an intentional choice. There’s a few other notes I could give, but given everyone around me now seems to be looking rather annoyed in my direction, I believe I’ll yield the floor.”

considering this is a showcase of films made by high school students, if this is the most prominent editing error then Lyra and Bon Bon did an amazing job!

Bon-Bon spoke up. “We get it, Twilight. It’s nudity. Even if there’s nothing in it that would get an adult rating, it still wouldn’t sound good at all if the school is showing underage kids a movie with two naked girls.”

yes that would be very bad!

Lyra recalled that her fathers had been among those parents, despite her clarifications.

nice (though i can’t imagine Lyra not referring to them as her “dads”)

(or, in one particular curly-haired case, being tackle-hugged by)

oh i wonder who this could be referring to

“That’s not what I sounded like! And I meant every word regardless of whether or not I was making it up on the spot! It’s our movie, it can have whatever themes we want!”

so true themes can be determined well after the work is completed

“Point.” Lyra smirked. “If only Micro Chips knew exactly what we were doing between takes that messed your hair up in that one shot…”

lewd!


always love to see a feat of getting one up on people through the power of reading deeper meanings into a work on the spot. thank you for writing!

Pinkie Pie broke the stillness in the air by loudly whispering in Twilight’s direction. “Is she talking about how they were both naked in the movie?”

Seriously girls, I mean, SERIOUSLY!! :facehoof:

“Well, I just wanted to say that I thought this movie was great! I thought it was so cool the way you both really put yourselves out there and found a weird but cool way to do a love metaphor, which is a really tired concept most of the time but watching it in this movie it was really awesome and felt new! All the camera tricks you used are really neat and now I kinda want to see how you made a lot of this stuff! But I guess there’s probably not a lot of behind the scenes footage since you’d be naked in all of it. Oh and speaking of nudity, I know you probably felt nervous talking to us about that, but you shouldn’t, because it totally fit in the movie and the way it tied into all the themes you’ve been talking about was really clever! Anyway you should be really proud!”

How am I not surprised Pinkie would like it. :ajbemused:

Lyra recalled that her fathers had been among those parents, despite her clarifications.

Doesn't she mean her parents? Or does Lyra not have a mom/both her parents are guys? I'm very confused here. :unsuresweetie:

“And you’d definitely get picked!” Pinkie interjected, jumping out of her seat again. “They’d have to pick you, because it’s great! And if they don’t, they’ll answer to me ,” she added, her face contorting into a dark glare.

Ok then... :twilightoops:

11402166
Lyra’s implied here to have two dads and no mom, yes.

I remember reading this at one point and finding it incredibly funny . Lyra and BonBon are very good at lying through their teeth.

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