Dragon_Born
Joined 20th Sep, 2012 ·
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havent read it yet. just want to say love that cover pic lol
Well written, I actually enjoyed it and I normally don't like Human/Pony clop.
havent read it yet. just want to say love that cover pic lol
edit: i liked it. there were a few typos and gramatical errors but over all a good story. well done sir :). also you should put quotation marks around the speaking because it was a little confusing lol.
but all in all i have one thing to say......MOAR
XD
Great story!
Except for one thing, why on earth is that guy's name anonymous? That's not how self insertion works.
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I was thinking on changing the name, but in the end it seemed too appropriate to change it
1314177
Gosh...
You do know that you don't have to give the main guy a name right? His stupid name just ruined the entire experience.
1315102
What do you mean?
I thought it was good, but no proper quotation marks takes a lot away.
"an apple tree with a strong trunk which Applejack had named “Roundtree”
oh god
pretty good
Oh, Applejack, You're such a silly pony.
If you changed the Human's name I think you'd have a better product overall /Opinion.
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A.K.A "The Importance of being Anonymous" by Dragon_Born
>1317226
I'm open to suggestions.
Dude, what've you got against speech marks? Using hyphens like that just looks awkward. Minor spelling mistakes, and some really strange ways of describing things... one scene actually had me picture Applejack's face smeared with blood, before I realised it was actually just your awkward description of her blushing. So-so. 6/10. Not amazing, but not bad enough for me to get riled into making some enormous rant-wall about it. You kinda need to think about the mental images that your descriptions give people, because some of them...
'A torrent of blood rushed through her face and filled her cheeks. ' <-- I admit it was an initial misreading of this sentence, but is that honestly the most sensual way you can describe blushing? My first mental image had AJ bleeding from the face, for the love of Celestia...
Other than that, use speech marks! The poor things must be like freakin' hobos around here, with no work to feed their families, because for whatever reason you decided hyphens were a better idea. Hyphens can work for inner thoughts and such, but here it looks strange, and kinda bad imo.
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Noted
dat end
- I talk like this
- My name's Fimfic
- This...is my story
DUN DA DAUN DU DAUN - Cue "Dramatic Blockbuster Music/Battlefield 3 theme"
was it a pie or a cake? I could not tell.
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/004/815/lol-guy.jpg
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applejack.png
this has obtained my interest....dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
niceeeee
static3.fjcdn.com/comments/...+so+hard+_1b8503c55ff388c51319fb1513ddc0a0.jpg
insta fav/like
Well written story and the ending made me laugh! Nice work pal!
Where are the quotation marks?