Echoes of her Guilt

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Luna, after realizing she's slipping back into the attitudes of Nightmare Moon, creates the Tantabus. However, it comes with unintended consequences...

Like a new alicorn.

Chapters (4)

Chapter One - Nightmares and Nightmares · 22nd Sep 2022 · 2,020 words
2,020
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Chapter Two - Headspace · 22nd Sep 2022 · 3,553 words
3,553
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Chapter Three - Candle · 5th Oct 2022 · 1,449 words
1,449
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Chapter Four - Dark Magic · 15th Oct 2022 · 3,979 words
3,979
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Comments ( 10 )

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Polak23

Polak23 #1 · Sep 27th, 2022 · · · Chapter One - Nightmares and Nightmares ·

Its really good story, as for your first. I Kinda know this feeling. It will be hard for you. It will be Challenging, but when you will be done, you will be grateful for all the chapters you writed, all the time you gave, to write this very good story
Some motivation I hope I didn’t say anything wrong

I rate the chapter 9/10

Polak23

Polak23 #2 · Sep 27th, 2022 · 1 · · Chapter Two - Headspace ·

Another very good chapter. I can tell that you are trying to write as good as possible, and actually it’s working. The story is very good for now, the same with lore. I’m very interested in future chapters of this timeline

I rate this chapter 9/10

Darkevony

Darkevony #3 · Sep 28th, 2022 · · · Chapter Two - Headspace ·

A pretty fantastic start with these chapters. If you don't have an editor, this is definitely the work of an experienced storyteller! Good pacing, natural dialogue, and like Polak said, an interesting narrative. It feels like it's a very pausible extension of Luna's character and what could happen in the show. It's some great work.

It can be a little hard networking our stories at first as I can tell you from experience, but keep up the good work! If you want your story to reach more people, definitely add it to any appropriate Groups on FIMFiction and find more avenues to promote it like in their forums if they allow that. I think it definitely deserves that kind of attention.

Hoping to read more from ya!

wingdings

wingdings #4 · Sep 28th, 2022 · 1 · · Chapter Two - Headspace ·

11377200
Thank you for the kind words! I don't have an editor, I write as a hobby so I've had some practice before this one ;P
Thanks for the tips as well, I'm not super familiar with FIMfiction so I appreciate advice with using it.

Carbon

Carbon #5 · Oct 5th, 2022 · · · Chapter Three - Candle ·

interesting

Polak23

Polak23 #6 · Oct 5th, 2022 · · · Chapter Three - Candle ·

Nice chapter, Its good writed, honestly could be better, but still good I think. Kinda don’t understand some parts (me being stupid or something just isn’t greatly writes sorry :P). I know you are trying your best, since it’s your first story, so I won’t be so bad with ranting :)

8/10

Eris Dis Harmonia

Eris Dis Harmonia #7 · Oct 12th, 2022 · · · Chapter Three - Candle ·

You've captured my attention, now I wish to see where these machinations lead.

Witch_King_of_Angmar

Witch_King_of_Angmar #8 · Oct 17th, 2022 · · · Chapter Two - Headspace ·

Hmm… An interested premise. The storytelling is rather acceptable as far as I can read, the pacing is rather good, and while it hasn’t gotten anywhere yet (still on Chapter 2) I can see this becoming an enjoyable adventure!

jessicaclerk

jessicaclerk #9 · Sep 9th, 2023 · · · Chapter Four - Dark Magic ·

HARDCORE CYCLES was started in the Greater Philadelphia area by a group of tight friends with a passion for V-Twin performance aftermarket parts. They would sling parts at local swap meets or trade with friends all while wishing there was a one stop shop for performance parts especially relating to the Dyna and FXR scene – so they created their own.
Visit : Bassani exhaust

-Sinder-