The Hoofmaid's Tail

by GaPJaxie

Smooth Criminal

A request by Random Bits:

Following a fatal accident Twilight discovers that she actually is immortal, but in a really unpleasant way.

Rarity was asked to give the eulogy at Twilight’s funeral. She did not see this as a special honor, for Twilight loved all her friends equally and any one of them would have been as suitable as her to sing of Twilight’s virtues. But, as Twilight was a head of state, her eulogy would have to be delivered in front of a crowd of thousands, and only Rarity among the group was comfortable with such public speaking.

When the time came, she rose from her seat and began the long walk to the front of the room. The funeral was being held in the great hall of Canterlot Palace, the same room in which Cadence and Shining Armor had been wed. Rows of benches had been added to accommodate the mourners, and though Rarity had been saved a spot at the front, she had for some reason known only to her chosen to sit at the back.

Thus, she had to walk up the aisle, in a grim parody of a mare on her wedding day -- past the benches, past the closed casket that held Twilight’s mangled body, up the stone steps, up to the dias.

“I knew Twilight,” she said, and despite herself, she struggled to keep her voice even. “Many times, we discussed death, though I always thought… I thought that, as an alicorn, she would surely outlive me. I thought it would be she standing here, saying nice things about me, an eternally youthful alicorn talking about the old mare in the casket.”

A murmur passed through the room. In the front row, Fluttershy quietly wept. “During those discussions, she would often say, that though ponies’ bodies must inevitably perish, their spirits live on in the memories of their good friends, in the recollections of those whose lives they touched. It was so sweet, so comforting when I thought she would be carrying my memory. But now that I have to…”

Rarity let out a long breath, willing herself to go on: “I’ll always remember the day she told me, ‘Rarity, help, it’s literal, I’m alive in your memories.’ We were sitting in Sugercube Corner, and she’d ordered her usual -- coffee, a scone, and a blackboard for drawing magical diagrams, ‘Rarity, I need you to perform this ritual’ she said. ‘It’s the only way for me to get out.’”

Sniffling, Rarity blew her nose: “That was in her first year in Ponyville, before she was even an alicorn. We were so young then.”

“When Twilight first became an alicorn, I worried I would have to share her with public life, that her duties would take her away from us. But now I find myself glad that you are all here to remember her as well. That thousands of ponies recall her coronation speech, ‘Help, please help me, I’m trapped!’ and ‘Oh no, all I can do is relive the memories of others over and over. Is this hell? Was I a bad pony?’”

A few ponies laughed, some cried. “You weren’t a bad pony, Twilight,” Rarity said. “You were our friend, and everything we wanted you to be.”

She steeled herself for the hardest part of the eulogy, the one that to the last moment she’d considered removing -- but Twilight deserved the truth. “Nopony knew,” Rarity said, “but Twilight and I were… romantic.” A soft gasp passed through the room. “Lovers. It all started one spring night in the rain, when she took cover under the canopy of Carousel Boutique. I invited her in, made her tea, and we…”

Rarity choked up, holding a hoof to her face, tears welled up in her eyes: “And the next morning, she said, ‘oh hey, maybe this isn’t so bad. What else can I do?’”

“Classic Twilight,” Applejack nodded, and the rest of the Mane 6 agreed.

“Of course,” Rarity said, “that was right before the string of bank robberies.”

Comments

[Level Dasher]

…Alright, ya lost me.

[terrycloth]

11366632
Twilight reincarnated into Rarity's memories, and needs her to do a ritual to get out, but Rarity is too oblivious. So Twilight starts doing other stuff in her memories like sleeping with her and robbing banks.

[Level Dasher]

11366653
…Okay, I think I get it… maybe I'm just as oblivious as Rarity.
Thanks for trying.

[Shakespearicles]

i.redd.it/fkj7tdaxydh51.jpg

[hiroandre]

Taking

Nobody is truly dead, as long as they are still remembered.

to it's logical extreme, I see.