Back at The Den
Twilight and the rest of the pack gathered back at the den after an hour of tracking their scents back. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Spike were the first to arrive, followed by Pinkie and Rarity and finally Rainbow Dash, Applejack and a strange wolf.
When Twilight saw the strange wolf Applejack and Rainbow brought back with them, she felt something in her chest. There was something about this wolf that Twilight didn't like.
"Who is this you've brought back with you?" Rarity asked.
Applejack stepped forward. "Everyone, this is Lora. She's from different pack. We found her being chased by different wolves from another territory"
Lora stepped up and lowered her head at everyone else.
"Thank you for having me. I've been wandering the land for the past few days" Lora said.
"Why are you wandering if you're part of a pack?" Fluttershy asked.
But before Lora could respond, Twilight walked toward Lora growling and baring her fangs at her. Her posture and facial features conveyed a form of hostility. The fur on her back and the back of her neck was bristled, her lips were pulled back over her teeth, and her ears were flattened against her head.
"Twi, what is it?!" Rainbow asked worriedly.
When Rainbow tried to step between Twilight and Lora, Twilight snapped at Rainbow's muzzle with a bark. Rainbow backed off and lowered her head to the ground. Twilight continued walking toward Lora.
Lora laid down on the ground and rolled over, exposing her stomach with a whimper. Twilight stood directly over Lora and growled in her face and sniffing her.
Fluttershy could see what was happening. Twilight was exhibiting territorial behavior. She's actively dominating Lora and Lora is submitting to Twilight.
Wolves are very territorial. While it is possible for lone wolves to join other packs if they submit to the alpha, wolf packs in general didn't like strange wolves in their territory. If lone wolves wanted to join another pack, they had to submit to the alpha.
After the dominance display was over, Twilight allowed Lora to stand. Lora was still in a submissive posture.
"You are welcome to stay with us if you want" Twilight said.
Lora looked up at Twilight with sparkling eyes and a wagging tail.
"Thank you! Thank you so much!" Lora cried.
The others were dumbfounded. They just saw Twilight acting like a true wolf before their very eyes. Not just like a wolf, but like a pack's alpha.
"Twilight, what just happened?" Pinkie asked.
"I don't know what came over me. I just felt like I had to get aggressive" Twilight replied.
"You were acting on instinct" Fluttershy interjected. "Twilight was showing that she's the alpha".
"Wait, Twilight's the alpha?" Rainbow asked.
"Remember how she reacted when you tried to get between her and Lora?" Fluttershy asked in response.
Rainbow cringed at the memory. She'd never seen Twilight that hostile even when she was fighting Tirek.
"Well now that we've established that Twilight is the alpha and Lora's now part of the pack, don't you think we should get back to what she was talking about earlier?" Spike said from a tree.
"Right. Lora" Twilight said looking at Lora.
Lora stood back up and wagged her tail in excitement. She got to introduce herself to her new pack.
"I am Lora, formerly part of the Copperhide Pack" Lora said.
"The Copperhide Pack?" Pinkie asked.
"They rule the territory from Beaver Lake to the Great Stump" Lora replied.
"Why did you leave your pack?" Applejack asked.
A shadow seemed to cross Lora's face. She looked down and away from the others.
"I don't really want to talk about it" she replied.
They all looked at Lora with concern. It was obvious that Lora was likely kicked out of her pack for something. They decided to let the issue lie. At least, for now. Lora continued with her story.
"I was wandering from territory to territory trying to join other packs, but they all just chased me away every time" Lora said.
"Who were the wolves chasing you away when we met?" Rainbow asked.
"Those were wolves from the Shadowhide Pack. They rule Darkwood Grove" Lora said.
Pinkie nuzzled Lora's cheek. "Well, now you've got us!"
"Thank you so much for accepting me" Lora said.
Rarity stepped forward. "Now that we have a new packmate, me and Pinkie have some interesting news"
"What is it?" Applejack asked.
"When me and Rarity were searching the West, we came across the edge of another pack's territory. We met another wolf who told us about a way we can learn more about this world" Pinkie replied.
"Really? What did this other wolf say?" Twilight asked.
"Her name is Phantom. She said that there's a 'Lunar Assembly' in three days at a place called Howler's Rock" Rarity said.
"She said that we follow Salmon River north until we reach it. She said we'll know it when we see it" Pinkie added.
Lora's ears perked up. "I've been to a few Lunar Assemblies before. I know how to get to Howler's Rock"
"Thank you. But what are these 'Lunar Assemblies' anyway?" Rainbow asked.
"It's when all the wolf packs and other predators of the Wildland Kingdom gather to speak about important issues or to reassure and establish good relations. Sometimes, we all play together. The only other time where all predators get together in peace is during the annual Salmon Runs" Lora replied.
Twilight held her head high. "Well everyone, looks like we've got something to look forward to in three days"
The sounds of multiple stomachs growling filled the air around them. The entire pack realized that they haven't eaten anything the entire time they were there. But now that they're no longer herbivores, they have no choice but to hunt and kill prey like true predators.
Twilight bared her fangs in a grin. "Girls, who's hungry?"
The entire pack let loose a haunting symphony of howls to hype themselves up for the coming hunt and took off into the night.
An interesting concept. So far, the plot seems pretty simple, but with the introduction of new characters, it could get more complex.
Wonder how they'll adjust to the thought of hunting and eating meat? Fluttershy may actually adjust quicker since she deals with predators and knows they need meat to survive, but she may also feel bad about eating prey and hunting. Funny how Lora hasn't asked about Spike. Having a crow as part of a wolf pack may be unusual, even though he could probably help with hunting and watching for other packs from the sky.
Um, you'll probably want to get a beta/proof-reader. Your story is readable, but there are alot of grammatical errors. For one, dialogue that doesn't end with a question mark or exclamation point needs to have a period inside the ending quotation marks, except if you identify the speaker afterwards, then it needs a comma. For example:
Should be:
Twilight held her head high. "Well everyone, looks like we've got something to look forward to in three days."
Notice the period at the end.
And in this instance, where the speaker is identified after the dialogue has ended:
Should be:
"Thank you so much for excepting me," Lora said.
Notice the comma at the end, just before the ending quotation mark. (Also, the word you're looking for here is "accepting", not "excepting". Excepting actually means the opposite of accepting. I know they sound the same and English is sometimes weird like that, so sorry if it's confusing.)
This is also true if the speaker isn't identified by name specifically, but is implied after the dialogue has ended:
Should be:
"I don't really want to talk about it," she replied.
Hope that helps!
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You beautiful person! This actually helps a lot. Thank you so much for the info. Also, Spike is a raven, not a crow. Ravens are bigger birds than crows and make different vocalizations.
The "alpha" idea is actually a myth caused by research focusing on wolves in captivity (where stranger wolves are forced together, resulting in hostility that yields to harsh dominance and submission as only one breeding pair is allowable). In nature, wolf packs are generally nuclear family units, without harsh dominance and submission, as there's no need to fight over mating. https://www.kpax.com/news/a-wilder-view/a-wilder-view-the-surprising-truth-about-alpha-wolves
Basically, while the actual behavior is mostly fine, the wording used is based on notions that were the result of bad science.
Additionally, Twilight surely would be sniffing Lora's rear area, not just her face. See, mammals, including wolves, emit individual-identifying pheromones is via glands in the anus. While it is true that it's possible that the scents on Lora's face would allow identifying her reliably, this is simply not always the case, and instincts tend towards the better option, which is to be putting the snout fairly close to where the pheromones leak out from.
Oh, and about the narration, at the end, it seems a bit unnecessary to be so...telly about the hunting situation. To be specific, there's the following:
It seems like it could be replaced by a simple few bits of dialog, like Pinkie saying she's hungry, Twilight noting they've gone a long while without food, and Fluttershy pointing out (somewhat morbidly, but possibly also with fascination or even weird excitement given her IDW characterization on the matter) them no longer being herbivores, and now having no choice but to hunt prey.
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I know that. I simply included the "alpha" thing here for the sake of worldbuilding. Also, I know this bit about wolf behavior, but I didn't want to weird out my readers with having the characters constantly sniffing butts. I'm trying my best with writing things like dialogue and endings to chapters.
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I think in the context of canines, most people understand and won't be weirded out, especially if it's not happening constantly (unless I missed something, I don't see it happening at all in the story). I would expect some spelling out early on when they're not used to things, and some like Rarity reacting to it, but then later on a simple "x sniffed y" as you have would be understood to imply that x would be sniffing y's rear area, which would no longer be relevant really to the protagonists.